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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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A Zombie's Tale of Online Dating and the Hidden Horrors Attached
Author Message
Zane Norrison Offline
The Post-Mortem Punk



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
02-25-2020, 01:38 AM

Ah, the joys of online dating. Yes, folks it had come to this, everyone's favorite brain eater, decided to traverse down a truly, dark path. Willingly too, I might add. In my defense, my best friend and neighbor, Harper talked me into it. After perusing the site Harper suggested that I should join, I submitted my info and within a short matter of time, someone reached out to me. Her name was - Xylia. She was cute and we hit it off, rather quickly, mutually agreeing to meet up at a place called... Head-Hunters, a nightclub that also served a unique variety of different foods, all given spooky sounding, cannibalistic names (Go figure!). When I arrived, subsequent to walking down a nearly pitch black alleyway in order to reach the establishment's entrance and stepped inside, I was greeted by the paragon of eccentric eateries.


Very sinister and foreboding, the place was dimly illuminated by candlelight, with wisps of actual fog, dancing playfully across the floorboards and eerily enchanting music accenting the air. Shadowy alcoves and darkened, secluded booths. Its entire atmosphere enticed the idea that anything could happen here and I mean, anything. From scandalous, sordid behavior all the way to straight up, murder. A hidden hideaway of sin and debacle. I found it to be utterly enthralling.



"I had a feeling you'd enjoy this place."


Xylia spoke these words, in a tantalizing tone, soft as velvet with the hint of smokiness like a fine bourbon. She approached me, emerald eyes gleaming in the glow of the candlelight, slinking slowly the way a cat might, she smiled and arched a brow. Dressed in an onyx corset top and a long, flowing, black skirt that hugged her hips perfectly, her raven hair tied up in a purple ribbon. I can honestly say as first sight (actual meeting in person) impressions go, I wasn't disappointed, at all.


"It definitely has its... charm."


I stated coyly with a grin.


"Well then, come hither darling."


She purred as she turned and beckoned for me to follow her with an outstretched finger tip. A request that I fully complied with. Following her to the back, where we took a seat in a round booth.


"I've taken the liberty of ordering food for us. I hope that's satisfactory. I am positively famished."


"Works for me. I'm not at all picky when it comes to food."


"Oh, I'm extremely particular when it comes to what I consume, luckily everything served here is absolutely, exquisite. Food that's practically... to die for."


No sooner than she finished speaking, the waiter brought by our meals. Which consisted of slider sized burgers, fries and two pints of pale ale. Xylia wasted no time, before picking up a tiny burger and chowing down. (She wasn't kidding when she said, she was hungry!) I followed suit and lifted up a burger of my own. Noticing, the meat didn't appear to be beef but it had cheese on it, so unless it was some type of veggie patty topped with soy based cheez, I didn't mind. One bite told me that it wasn't vegan garbage and also granted me the knowledge, that I was eating brains. I just took a bite out of a brain burger. Made from human brains. Very warm, juicy, tender and exceptionally fresh, human brains. A factor that I could decipher by taste. Obviously. Shocked, I swallowed.


"You knew? All along, you knew?"


"That you're a zombie. Of course I did silly, you're quite famous with the zombie community, I'd be a shame to my own kind if I didn't recognize you. How's the burger? Good, right?"


"Yeah, it's good. Very... um, fresh too, I might add."


"I know. I love it. This place is the best. They get all the brains that they use from free range humans, that are slaughtered on site. On top of that, these happen to be a delicacy. Sort of expensive but I wanted to make a good, first impression, so I figured I'd splurge a little."


"Is that right? What makes them a delicacy, if you don't mind my asking?"


"You can't tell?"


"No."


"They're infant brains."


Holy crap. I think I'm going to be sick...







"On the next edition of Thursday Night Anarchy, I'm booked in not one but two matches. The first fight takes place at the start of the show. Where I'm set to face, Harley Quinn."


[Image: g76SDdC.gif]


"I mean, female Dillinger."


"Fuck. That's not right either."


"Wait."


"I really got it this time."


"Seriously."


"Kalel Drake... sometimes, Watson. Or is it the other way around?"


"She's a psychopath, that hallucinates, hears voices, believes that God is her father and was convicted of killing her mother at the age of fourteen, yet she's allowed to roam free. Visits a psychiatrist, that willingly chats with her as if they're having normal sessions, wrestles, picks and chooses when to take her meds. Um... okay, that isn't something that would happen. Ever. Especially if she's confirmed, legit bat-shit crazy and has as many diagnosed disorders as she wants people to believe. And she apparently has... A LOT! Collects 'em like pokemon, she does."


"Whatever. I'll humor the attention seeking, drama queen."


"She's as mad as a hatter, a convicted murderer and she's allowed to wander the streets, doing whatever she pleases."


"Who am I really to judge? I'm a zombie that wrestles."


"Sure, there's proof backing my statements, live footage from events, opponents that have suffered my wrath and testimonies from esteemed members of the staff but I suppose that could all be explained away. Maybe everyone loves me, so much (Even those that claim to despise me!) they're willing to bend over backwards and go above and beyond, just to sell my story. Use special effects, throw matches and fake injuries, lie... why not, right? That makes sense."


"Curious. I wonder who will prevail? A crackpot or an undead abomination? One enjoys frolicking in the ring, sticking her tongue out and acts like a child, throwing an exaggerated, temper tantrum for attention. And the other, can go into a berserk, zombie rage, which provides him with an urge to attack, non-stop like some sort of vicious creature, yanked straight from the bowels of hell. Animated corpse or Looney Toons? Which is it folks? Hey, I guess, we'll find out on Thursday Night, 'eh."

[Image: hZM7vS3.jpg]


1x X-Treme Champ
1x Hart Champion
1x SOTM November 2018
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (02-29-2020), bRiaN sTorM (02-25-2020)




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