Shortly after Cunt Fest...at a secret DRW Facility....

Madison Dyson is walking down a lengthy gun metal gray corridor, eyes riveted on her phone and she does not look happy. In related news, water is wet and sexual intercourse feels good. She banks a hard right through a doorway that reads “Employee Lounge” on a placard just next to it. A scene that looks kind of like this opens up before us.



Upon entering, she immediately lays eyes on one of The Engineer's hooded cultists. He is standing in front of a simple ancient looking microwave (which looks pretty damn out of place given the opulence otherwise). YOU THERE! The cultists turns around, just as the microwave beeps behind him. Where the hell is everybody? The cultist does not respond, and instead opens the microwave and removes a microwaveable heating pad from it. Uhhhh...hellllooooo? Where's Shane? Or The Engineer? This is a matter of extreme importance!

The hooded cultist just holds up the heating pad, and says nothing. She looks like she's about to lay into him some more when a voice calls out from the doorway. Leave him alone, he's getting that for The Engineer.



The Engineer's new paramour/assistant is there, lingering in the doorway. With a slight tilt of his head towards the hooded minion, the acolyte springs into action, scampering away and out the back of the lounge. Madison crosses her arms with a sneer. Well, well, well...if it isn't the NEW toy.

Malcolm walks breezily past her and goes to the bar. He reaches behind it, helping himself to some scotch and a mixer. He starts to prepare himself a drink. You know what your problem is? He asks airily, without even looking up from the drink. Aside from your obvious racism, that is.

No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me.

Finishing the drink, he grabs a stirrer and swirls it about a bit before bringing the glass to his lips. You don't do well with competition.

I'm not competition, honey. I'm his manager. I'm essential.

A slight smirk tugs at Malcolm's features. Sure.

Get fucked, street trash. If it wasn't for us you wouldn't have those fancy new duds or be hanging out in a place like this. You'd still be crying on some street corner about getting beat by your homophobic daddy. Madison returns her attention to her phone. Now, back to my original question: Where are the people who matter?

The Engineer is recouping. And I don't think Shane is here. He takes another sip of the drink and sets it down on the counter. What do you want anyway?

None of your business! I'm calling Shane. Turning her back to Malcolm, she dials Shane's phone number, but it goes right to voice mail. FUCK!

Heh.

“Heh”. Madison mimics him, wheeling back around. You think this is funny, Mulatto Marky Mark? She heads for the door. Whatever.

You're worried about your match, aren't you?

Madison stops dead before facing him again. How did you know?

Saw the text you sent The Engineer before. He spins the glass around absent mindedly, causing the ice cubes to resettle in the glass. He said you should talk to Elon.

Why didn't he just tell me himself?

Because he thought we should get to know each other. Malcolm smiles. We're gonna be seeing a lot of each other, after all.

A Short Time Later....

Madison is seen walking down another silvery steel hallway, much like the one from before. She's muttering to herself and still clearly trying to get a hold of Shane. Goddammit Shane, would you just answer the phone! YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHERE THE HOUSE OF TRUTH IS! With a frustrated sigh, she finally relents and dials a different number. Yeah, Chuck? Prep the jet, I need to....wait, what do you mean the jet is gone?! IT WAS JUST HERE, who requisitioned it? …. Malcolm?! He was HOMELESS like two weeks ago where does he have to go?! Ugh, fine I guess the Cessna? ….. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S OUT FOR MAINTENANCE?!! ….. Yeah, well I'm not taking the helicopter did you not see what just happened to Lebron James?! …... Yeah, I can tell black people apart, why do you ask?

Suddenly, the signal on Madison's phone cuts out. With a curse, she goes to dial again, but then notices her cell phone reception now has zero bars. ...the fuck? She looks up and is startled to see that at some point while she was distracted her entire environs seem to have shifted and changed. Gone were the gun metal modern trappings of the DRW facility. No, instead the hallway was now quite abruptly like something out of an earlier age. The walls were cultured in molding of fine wood, and where the moldings ended strange wall paper took over. On the wall paper were strange fractal patterns.



Now thoroughly confused, Madison looks up and down the hallway, but all she finds is more of the same. Her attention is drawn back to the fractal patterns, and she gasps a bit when she takes a closer look, but for a moment, it almost seemed as though the patterns were shifting and moving. Closing her eyes shut and reopening them, she takes another look and finds the patterns still once more.

Did I do drugs today...? She muses out loud. Shaking her head, she sets off down the strange hallway. But, there don't seem to be any doors or means of egress. The shot follows over her shoulder for a moment before transition to a shot looking behind her. Suddenly, this thing is down the hall!



Madison stops short, as though sensing it's presence, but then she proceeds. This thing matches the pace of her steps exactly, mimicking them so that she doesn't hear its own footfalls. But its longer stride allows it to close the gap with her, getting closer and closer and closer until....Madison stops again! With an odd look on her face, she mutters something under her breath and starts to slowly turn around. Spotting this thing, her face goes blank. And then......


AHHHHHHHHHHH! She shrieks, throwing her phone at its face. The thing standing before her doesn't even flinch.

You are looking for the master? It inquires. It's voice has a melodic, echo-like quality.

Madison backs up in fear. Are you gonna harvest my organs to replace your robot parts?

I don't believe so!

Madison takes a deep breath. Where the hell am I?

You stated you wanted to find the House of Truth. So....here we are. It gestures theatrically. You seek Master Elyon?

You mean Elon?

No. The automaton responds curtly. But if we're going to proceed you may want these. The machine made gentleman opens a compartment in his chest cavity and withdraws a pair of sunglasses. Madison reaches out and takes them tentatively, still not looking like she quite trusts this thing. If you don't wear them....

Yeah, yeah, yeah...my eye balls turn to egg yolks. I heard. She slips the stylish Rayban Predators on. So we're not gonna take an elevator, are we? I really don't got that kinda....oh.....

Madison finds that as soon as she put on the shades, a number of doors appeared built into the walls. The automaton takes the lead and steps over to one of the doors, gesturing towards it. You will find that which you seek inside.

Madison steps past the automaton, placing her hand on the door knob. Yeah...thanks.... Turning the knob, she steps through the doorway and is instantly beset by vibrant swirling neon lights. Jesus! She cusses, throwing a hand in front of her face. Blinking rapidly to clear the light spots, she soon grows acclimated to the interior of the room and is shocked to see this...thing...in the middle of an otherwise empty light filled chamber.



Half fascinated and half terrified, Madison hugs the wall of the chamber, trying and failing to make sense of the oddity. Just then, an arm pops out of the middle!

Gah!

And then another arm!

GAH!

And then Elon Musk slips out of the thing, naked and covered in a thin translucent slime. The process looks disturbingly similar to birthing. Madison clutches her chest, aghast. Elon?! Is that you?!

With a wet slap, Elon comes to on the floor. He pushes himself up to a sitting position, looking confused at first before it suddenly seems to occur to him that this thing is behind him. He gets to his feet quickly, and speaks something in a guttural tongue that doesn't quite seem like a human throat should be able to produce. As soon as he does, the thing seems to fold in on itself over and over again until it vanishes completely.

Only then does Elon to turn to look at Madison. With a wide smile, he splays his arms out splattering the goop he's covered with everywhere. Madison!

Jesus fucking Christ Elon, what the fuck was that?!!

That....? He looks behind him. Oh! Uh, just a little something the R&D team is working on, don't worry about it. He starts to walk closer to Madison and she averts her eyes.

Could you maybe do something about your dong? It is completely exposed.

Elon looks down. Whoops! Yeah, that's right out there in the open isn't it.

Yeah. Madison says, with a pinched sarcastic smile.

Well, I don't have any clothes on me right now. I have to go decontaminate anyway. Actually...uhhhh....you probably should too....

WHAT?! WHY?!

Just a precaution! I'm sure it's...looks absent mindedly away.... nothing.

Madison looks like she's starting to hyper ventilate when we cut to....

A LITTLE BIT LATER!

Though we can only see them both from the shoulder up, it's clear that both Elon and Madison are now both completely naked and standing in a decontamination chamber. They both turn slowly as they are hit with a variety of different cleansing sprays.

Sorry about the inconvenience, Madison.

**Sigh** I wish I could say this is the worst thing I've ever done naked, but it's really, really not. Anyway, I came to talk to you about getting super powers.

Elon looks mildly surprised. Can't you just ask your patron for them?

You mean Aiwass? I could, but they have certain transformative side effects I'd rather not have to deal with just yet. Then, she looks at him askance. Why didn't you ask why I wanted super powers?

Elon just shrugs, as though that's answer enough.

Well, anyway, its because I'm booked in a match with these two shitheads that have them, and I want to even the odds.

Ah. The Blackwaters?

Pfffft no. We're talkin' MIDCARD here, honey. Cadryn Tiberius and some new guy named Calvary.

Elon rubs his chin musingly as he's hit with another mystery liquid. Hmmmm....Cadryn has powers?

Yeah, he can teleport or some shit. It's whatever. The other guy is worse though, he seems to have powers just like REDACTED FOR DC COMICS TRADEMARK VIOLATION!

Musk whistles. Ouch.

Yeah, tell me about it. How the fuck do I compete with that?!

Hmmmm...well, its a tall order But I might be able to help you out!

Madison looks excited. Seriously? Hell yes!

The sprayers in the chamber stop spraying and the door opens with an affirmative sound. They both step into the adjoining room, where plush white robes are waiting for them. Musk and Madison throw them on. Let me go make some preparations and I'll be back to get you.

Wait, I gotta stay here? Why?

We need to find you some new clothes.

Madison's eyes go wide. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES?!

We...uhhhh...had to destroy them. It's all pretty standard.

EVEN MY LOUBOUTINS?!

I'll be right back, I swear! Musk disappears through another door before Madison can continue to protest. She slumps down on a bench and hugs her robe even tighter around her.

I swear, if I catch wind that even one of you pervs looked at my tits just now! Actually... she cants her head as she remembers something....I just remembered Cadryn's an ass muncher. Still goes for you though Calvary!

So Cadryn, back for your yearly “drop in and pretend I'm still the shit” before promptly eating a loss and bouncing again. I seem to remember something about Lux embarrassing the living fuck outta you last time you tried that. Things have changed a bit since then though. I mean, not for you. You still suck harder than a Thai rent boy on a Megachurch pastor. So, like, whats the fucking point, Cadryn? Are you just stroking your own ego or has the ranch gone belly up again? You know there's these things called farm subsidies that the government hands out like water, right?

Heh...all joking aside though, seriously, WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOU? Even at the height of your influence here you were a mincing lap dog to the top heel faction in the company. Now, you're not even that. Nobody cares about you. You look up irrelevance in the dictionary and its...well, not EVEN a picture of you! That's how IRRELEVANT you are! It's probably a picture of the other three people who were in the helicopter with Lebron.

You sigh audibly.

WHAT?! You know what, I don't care. So you think its gonna be different Cadryn? Okay, word. Even if it is though, where do you go from here? You gonna whole ass it long enough to maybe go after the TV title? Or the Hart? Or, dare I say it, the Xreme?! Those were all rhetorical questions by the way, because everybody knows by now that even if you somehow, by the grace of Yahweh, win this match that you won't actually give enough of a shit to do any of that. You'll still just flounder about a bit until you get bored/realize you suck ass and piss off back to your fruit ranch again. Christ, this match slot could have gone to somebody so much more useful. Like that Subaru, or the chode who got pinned by the Subaru.

I'd tell you to eat shit Cadryn, but that's probably old hat for you.

Madison looks at the door impatiently.

Christ, where are my new clothes?! She groans and looks up before returning her attention to the camera.

And then there's this boy scout doof Calvary, who is definitely less of the original movie and more of the one with Richard Pryor in it, know what I mean?

Look man, I'm not gonna go ham and say your powers aren't real. I'll leave that to the real hacks. But for a guy as self righteous as you you sure seem to be in quite a hurry to smack around some mere mortals. And poor Scully too! You know he's....challenged. She hisses the word.

So why did you even ink a contract? Isn't this valuable time you could spend saving kittens from trees and pretending wearing some cheap black frames counts as an alter ego? Are you here to fight evil, right wrongs, and instill hope in the masses? If so, you might wanna have a peek at my client's match with Robbie Bourbon from Cunt Fest and see how well that worked out the last time. Hope is sooooooo last season! Cynicism is the new black, bitch. You and your brand of goody two shoes wankery are so old news its playing at the nickelodeon. Madison yawns. BO-RING!

But you know whats NOT gonna be boring? When I bust out these bitchin' new powers and force feed you your own cape come Warfare. But hey, before you get flushed right out of the XWF like an errant turd, I WILL do you one solid. You can be a part of history by officially being The Captain America to my Mad Titan for one night only! Only this time, Thanos' victory stays put.

She snaps her fingers just as the door opens and Elon reappears holding a Tesla jumpsuit. Madison's features sink right to the floor. You're kidding me....

It's all we had!

Madison gets up and snatches the jumpsuit out of his hands before pushing past him. This better be worth it!