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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "C*nt Fest" RP Board
Wait... Is this for the Subaru? You bet your ass it is...
Author Message
Shawn Warstein Offline
Blood In Blood Out



XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


#1
01-25-2020, 08:33 PM

“Well Noah here we are….”

They pull up to a building that looks to be long since abandoned. We both get out with puzzled expressions on faces, each for a different reason.

“Real funny cunt... What are you playing at?”

“No seriously, I called them and left a message earlier this week… There was nothing on their machine that said they were closed.”

“Permanently it would seem.”

“Yeah but now what are we going to do.”

“What were we going to do here anyways.”

“You ever hear of a show called ‘Pimp My Ride’?”

“With Xzibit? Yeah I was born in Australia, not under a fucking rock. But why were we coming here?”

“Well I was going to pay for the Subaru to get all pimped out, and show ready to beat the piss out of…. What was his name again?”

“Red something…”

“Red-X… “

“So what are we going to do now?”

“The only thing fitting for a new Father and Son Tandem….”

“Don’t say it…”

“Pimp my ride Montage starring the two of us!

Fuzz looks right in the camera.

“Let's do this!”



The camera quickly cuts to a run down garage with Noah and Fuzz standing there in coveralls. Noah is swinging a wrench in his hand, while I lean up against the Subaru.

“Ok everyone, Noah and I just finished the Suabru. Let's show you some highlights of the work that got done.”

The camera begins to run roll of Noah and Fuzz tearing apart the Suabru. The hood is ripped off and flung to the side. Noah smashes some of the windows out with a hammer. Fuzz pulls out the driver's seat. All in all, the car is a complete wreck. It’s a far cry from the car that’s sitting next to them in the opening shot. The camera cuts back to Noah.

“Yeah, so obviously we have no idea how to work on a fucking car. So what we did was…”

“I went out and bought a brand new-ish Subaru. Slightly used. It only has 300k miles on it. It’s all the same color. But we were able to add a few things to it to make it special for Cuntfest. Noah show the people what we did special just for Red-X.”

“Gladly.”

Noah walks up to the car and opens the door, the camera comes in from the other side of the car.

“Check this sick shit out…”

Noah flips a switch on the center console, as LEDs begin shine on the ceiling and begins to bounce around in a rhythmic fashion.

“Yeah that’s not all, check the outside as well…”

The camera pulls out, and notices the lights are outside the vehicle as well. Firing lights in all directions. Until one shines right in the camera’s lens causing the camera to spaz out for a moment, and when it refocuses Fuzz is standing there smiling.

“Right you are Noah, this is Sick as Fuck. Those lights will blind anyone stupid enough to get within arms length of the car, and it was really simple to install. Just bought the kit from Best Buy and boom twenty minutes later blinding douche bag lights. Now onto one of the main features of the car. Noah… if you could please.”

Noah gets out of the car and peeks his head up from the other side.

“Are you sure it’s going to work?”

“Yup.”

Noah walks around the outside of the car and grabs a hammer. Then he slams the hammer into the passenger side window. The hammer bounces off, as Noah recoils and attempts again. Once again the window withstands the punishment.

“Those are shatter proof windows. It cost me a little bit of extra cash, but I think it’s all worth it in the end. There isn’t a single thing at Cuntfest that could possibly break that glass…”

“What about the gun for Shane?”

“Yeah forgot to tell you, that’s a no go, I did have some knives put out there for them instead.”

“It’s not the same. Anyways what else did we do to this car?”

“That’s right, this bitch is mobile as well.”

“Duh it’s a car.”

“Obviously, but I also spent some extra cash on this. The car is completely remote controlled. You didn’t think I was just going to have the car sit there for the whole ‘fight’ did you? Nah, Noah or myself will be able to move the car forward or backwards depending on the situation. Unfortunately we didn’t get turning.”

Noah pulls out the controller for the car. It looks exactly how you think it would. Large, over engineered and lit up like a christmas tree. Noah pushes the joystick forward as the car responds. He pulls it back and it follows.

“With that we will be able to control the car from a safe distance. We can’t have Red-X’s blood on us, we’ve got a real match to prepare for.”

“Come on Dad, let me show them the best thing in the whole car.”

“What the spikes that come out of the tires when you press that button?”

“No it’s better than that.”

“Or the spoiler in the back that will spin like a helicopter when you press that button?”

“Nope.”

“Well which button then? They all do something different.”

“This one…”

Noah points to a large red button on the backside of the controller.

“Go ahead. The entire world will see what happens anyway…”

Noah gets a giddy smile on his face as his finger hovers over the button. Then as if it was in slow motion he presses the button.


Nothing.

Noah flips the controller over and begins to hammer the button over and over again.

Until


Finally.

“La Cucaracha” begins to blare out of the horn.

Then just as quickly as it started it stopped. As Noah can be heard through the horn.

“ You Just Lost to a Fucking inanimate fucking object!”

Both men smile as the camera fades.


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[-] The following 6 users Like Shawn Warstein's post:
(01-26-2020), Atara Raven (01-25-2020), Barney Green (01-25-2020), Noah Jackson (01-25-2020), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (01-25-2020), red-x (01-25-2020)




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