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Shawn Warstein · (01-18-2020)

Shortly after Noah had called me Shawn, I wasn’t in the best head space. There were feelings going through my mind that had enough existed for such a long time. I am used to being lonely, but this time it felt different. I felt,

Abandoned.

I didn’t think that I could be just tossed to the side so easily. Sure anger was a driving factor. Hell I don’t blame him, I fucked up. I did something that was completely unforgivable. In his eyes I fucking abandoned him TWICE. I tried calling him over and over again to no avail. I knew he was avoiding me but there wasn’t anything I could do.

I just let him leave and walk away. FUCK.

The bottles clang on the table as I scurry to grab the next one. I finally found a whiskey bottle that has something left to imbibe. I swish the liquid around and attempt to stand. That was a mistake.

I stumble around the room, knocking pictures off the wall. Only steadying myself to take a swig of whiskey. I fight the drink down and continue on my way. I finish the bottle of whiskey, and toss it to the ground. The glass shatters covering the floor. Unfazed I walk right through it without a hint of pain.

My senses are dulled and honestly I can’t feel anything.

I finally made it to my bedroom, clothes thrown about, lamp on but dim. Suddenly I start to feel light headed, the room begins to spin. I lose my balance but catch myself only momentarily.

THUD!

The last thing I remember before everything went black, was the ceiling fan spinning, and spinning and spinning, before finally blackness.

I was awoken by a hooded figure. He hovered above me snapping his fingers. I sit up as the man takes a step backwards. I rub my head and feel a large lump, as I wince in pain as rub it.

“Where the fuck am I?” I groggily managed to say while slowly attempting to stand up.

“All in time.” The cloaked figure said.

As I stand I begin to take notice of my surroundings, or for this, the lack thereof. It’s just black. No lights, no sounds, just void like. I rubbed my eyes trying to get them to focus, but it did nothing.

“Ok, seriously, what the hell is going on?”

The figure started to walk away from me.

“Hey asshole…. Where the fuck are you going?”

He turned around and looked at me. I felt a chill go down my spine. He didn’t say a word, and just turned around and continued to walk. I soon followed as he’s the only other person around.

We must’ve walked for what felt like hours. My legs were getting tired, and honestly that whiskey wasn’t sitting too well in my stomach.

“Just hold on a fucking minute.” I gasped as the figure once again turned around and said nothing. “Where are we fucking going?” I throw my hands up and to the side. The figure shakes his head and lowers the hood of the cloak.

What the Fuck?

It’s me… I think, I’m so confused right now.

“Welcome to the darkness.” He stared excitedly and as a matter of factly.

“Who the fuck? Why the fuck? How the fuck?” I stammered to get the words out.

“I told you all in due time.”

He turned and began to walk again. I let out an exasperated sigh and follow behind him. Every so often he’s peer over his shoulder to make sure I was still following. I’d just give him a half smile and a head nod.

Finally I can see something off in the distance. I can’t quite make out what it is, but I’m just happy that it’s finally something other than the blackness that surrounds us. Just as I get excited, the man turns around and stops me. I struggle to get free from him but I can’t break his grasp.

I tried knocking his wrist. I tried kicking him. Biting. Everything that I could think of in my hung over stupor. Nothing worked, and he just stood there giving me a half smile. Is that what I look like when I do that? No wonder everyone wants to punch me in the mouth. Dejected and running out of energy I stop and just give up.

“Fine. I give up.”

“That doesn’t sound like us.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You don’t remember me do you?”

“Obviously not.” I said as I shake my head in disbelief.

“Well I’m your demons, or inner thoughts whatever you want to call it.”

“Okay, whatever you say buddy. Just tell me how to get the fuck out of here.”

He points behind himself and in an instant to doors appear behind him. There was a powerful gust of wind behind them almost knocking me over.

“Simply walk through one of these doors.”

I shoved him aside and try the handle on the right. I jingle it for a moment but nothing, the doors locked. I attempt to open the other door, same thing. I drop my shoulders and turn towards him.

“Okay… so you gonna unlock them or what?”

He walks up to the first door, and just opens it up without hesitation, and then does the same with the second door.

“They are locked, you are. For the first time in a very long time you are at a crossroads. You have never been in this situation before in your life. You’ve always known what you wanted from the second you walked in, to the many, many times you’ve walked away. Yet now something is different. Our usual path is there, that’s the constant. It’s the second door that has me confused…”

I quickly push him aside and rush for one of the doors. It slams right in front of my face. I bang on the door screaming viscerally.

“There’s the emotion I’m looking for. Despair. Your weakness will be your undoing. You stand there hopeless, and that’s where we need to get you. You need to know what is at stake right now.”

“And what’s that?”

“Everything. I’m going to break it down for you as simply as I can. Behind door one…”

The door opens up and on the other side a vision is seen. There I am standing over Engy holding the Universal Title over my head.

“Ever the soldier. Always the loner. You’re built to be a one man show. You are an army. You are legion. This door is the constant. Every time you’ve been here you’ve chosen that door without hesitation. Once you see that vision you bolt for it every time.”

“What about the other door?”

He walks up to it and places his hand on it, almost caressing it.

“This one, is different.”

The door swings open. There I am standing tall with the X-Treme title on my shoulder, briefcase at my side, and being handed another title. Then Noah comes into focus. There we both are standing tall with all the spoils of victory.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you with someone else in any of these. Believe it or not, you’ve been here many times over your life. Usually when you are looking for guidance. I usually had to bring one of these out, but this one just wouldn’t leave. So for the first time, you’ll actually have to choose.”

“Well then that’s an easy choice.”

I walk towards one of the doors.

“Just know whichever one you choose, the other one is no longer on the table.”

I nod and reach for the handle. I twist the knob as the door swings open. I take one step into the doorway and then turn around.

“Fuck that…. I make my own destiny.”

I finish walking through the door. Then suddenly a white flash consumes me. I don’t feel anything. I feel free, weightless. Then I slowly opened my eyes, and there it is.

That damn ceiling fan.

The Afterthought:

It must feel nice being the chosen one. Trust me I know all about it. Engy chose me, and I’ll tell you the truth. I was flattered. I don’t want to say I was beside myself, but it did feel good knowing that everything I’ve done for the past year was acknowledged by someone. Unfortunately it was all for not. You see while I know I was and still am deserving, I still have some unfinished business to attend to.

Mostly the Mafia, but also this title around my waist currently. You see while I’ve been dominating for the past few months I’ve garnered a lot of accolades. Champion, briefcase holder, Lethal Lottery winner, number one contender for the tag team titles, and of course Naming rights for Cuntfest. Yet I also got to Choose my opponent. I didn’t want people to think I was going for an easy match, but look at the talent on the show.

ALL OF YOU DON’T COMPARE TO ME!

Sure James Raven is there, but let’s all be brutally honest, he hasn’t been the same since he unceremoniously lost the tag team titles for Apex Prophecy, and in doing so also lost Robert Main Universal title. Since then he’s been a shell, someone needs to reawaken him. I think I fit the bill perfectly.

Yet you don’t go right after your Prey. There’s something of a build towards it. They have to know you are targeting them, without going directly after them. That’s were Engy fucked up, and where I always succeed. You are not my sole focus Ned, you just so happen to be the only one available to help make a point.

Did you ever think about why I chose the match stipulation? Why on God’s green earth would I take the X-Treme out of the equation? Well this way when I prove my point,

And trust me, I will.

When my point has been made, James will know what to expect. You see Apex is shattered. Apex is nothing. Yet you are hanging onto the past. Sure some people could say the same thing about me, but I’ve changed. I’ve adapted. None of you give a fuck about what I’ve done in the past. All you care about is the now.

And Now.

I’m going to destroy you in the middle of the ring strictly to prove a point. We both have briefcases by our side, while I’ve only recently gotten mine, I have counted no less than four separate occasions where you could’ve brought the big title back. Yet you cowered in fear. I know you’re going to say that you were just waiting for the right moment, and that’s obviously false.

You were scared. You were not ready. Or whatever other excuse you use to make yourself feel better about not doing a damn thing. I fully expect myself to cash in before you, while I’m sure you’re just going to allow yours to expire with nothing to show for it.

But Hey you had one!

And that’s just it, isn't it? You’re content with where you stand on the totem. You are well aware that you are not in my league. Maybe that’s why you were so quick to accept my challenge. Honestly I didn’t think you had it in you, but here we stand.

The Indy sensation, standing toe to toe with a certified Legend. All of your little internet support and all the neckbeards cheering you on from their parents basement aren’t going to help you one single bit. As I stated earlier, you were chosen for a reason.

While you’ll stand across from me, one of the last remaining elements of Apex Prophecy, I need to break you to get the attention of James. You are nothing more that a small bump in a long road. James needs to see how weak you actually were and still are. I need James to sever his ties with Apex so that he can truly be free. So that he can become what he needs to be, he needs to stand alone.

I need to take off one of the limbs first.

Ned since you’ve been here, you’ve done… well not so well. You started off hot, then it seemed like a bucket of ice got dropped on your head. You cooled off. You lost your gusto. Then as I’ve seen time and time again, you failed over and over again. Never really gaining any traction. Like a car stuck in neutral. The engine is on, but that bitch ain’t going anywhere.

I don’t want things to go south too quickly for you, I’m going to enjoy this. I’m going to show everyone that I’m more than just weapons and blood. I’m going to show them that I can be cerebral as well. That I can actually have a wrestling match. I was also trained in this industry as well, just because I occasionally rely on underhanded tactics doesn’t mean you just forget the basics.

In the past twenty years I’ve seen a lot of people walk through those doors, up on their high horses just to get knocked down and never to be seen again. It’s the true greats that get back up and continue to fight for everything they want. I don’t see that in you. Everything you’ve “accomplished” has been handed to you.

Do you have any idea how much my fucking blood boiled when Robert Main picked you for a shot at the big one? I saw exactly what he was doing. Giving the young guy the rub, and still an easy enough defense that it wouldn’t register on the list of notable defenses. Hell I was ON that show and what did I get? A fucking match against someone who isn’t even around anymore. That should’ve been mine had Robert not been such a huge pussy. Then he turns around a week later and you’re in Apex? Give me a fucking break.

You didn’t deserve that then, and you sure as hell don’t deserve it now.

This opportunity was given to you out of spite. It was given to you out of pity. It was given to you because you know, just as well as I do, that you don’t belong here.

You never belonged here since the day you walked in. We all knew that you were going to hang around, but actually belonging? You were a running joke. You were and continue to be the weakest link in Apex, and that’s saying something. Drew held that distinction with honor, and now you just hold it with despair. You want to prove everyone wrong.

You need to prove everyone wrong.

I don’t.

When I can back last March, I told everyone that I belong here. I told everyone that there was a new dominant species in the XWF. I told them that no matter how long they run from the past, it will always catch up. Everyone turned a blind eye to me, and where did that get this company?

Months and Months of me dominating every person that stood in front of me. Climbing to the ladder. Inching ever closer to the top. While everyone had their head in the sand, I took over. Now they have to deal with the fallout of a PPV named Cuntfest. They really didn’t think that through did they? They had me in a prime position to go after the Big Title, and I turned it down. No one understood how someone could just walk away from that opportunity. It’s really simple. I could. I had my own destiny in my hands, and I wasn’t about to be picked. I had other plans in mind and that opportunity just didn’t fit into the mix right now. So instead I chose to go a different route. With people calling me a coward, a pussy, and scared. I’m none of those things. A legend like me deserves better. A legend like me chooses his prey. A legend like me marches to the beat of his own drum.

I get to choose where I go and who I face. Cuntfest is my world and you Ned are just match one of two. Did you really think I was going to choose someone who actually had a shot at beating me? Nah,I didn’t think so. You know you’re overmatched, over powered, and under manned. So yes Ned, I chose you,

But I’m guessing,

You wish I didn’t.

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