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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (01-17-2020)

LIVE!!!

FROM THE SIMMONS BANK ARENA IN LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS!

The Calvary
- vs -
Barney Green

"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
Boris
- vs -
Raphael Blackwater
Triple Threat!

Amjetkun Socio
- vs -
Maxine
Bench Press Brawl!

Max and Socio will each have to do a three sets of 300 pound bench presses, 10 reps each set, before starting the match!

Zane Norrison
- vs -
Atara Themis

The Sick Cunts
(Fuzz & Noah Jackson)
- vs -
Vita Valenteen & Ruby

INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"Big Beaut" Bobbi London
- vs -
Geri Miller
Internet Rules!

Pyro leaps from flame pots on the stage of the Simmons Bank Arena as streaks of rocketing fireworks fly across the capacity crowd.

A swooping, erratic camera view shows fans frothing at the mouth for some XWF action before settling on “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane at his announce deski at ringside, tapping a pen furiously like mid-90s David Letterman.

Vinnie Lane: “FOLKS! It is DEFINITELY Thursday, and we are LIVE in the great state of Arkansas, home to former POTUS Bill “Bubba” Clinton… in fact, there he is playing the saxophone in the stands right now!”

When the camera returns to Vinnie, he is standing with his hand over his heart and a tear in his eye.

Vinnie Lane: “And the home… of the… braaaaave… ah, simpler times! Anyway, Anarchy is live and in color once again, and we are ready to rock n’ roll! Let’s head to the ring for a debut, Anarchy Style!”

The Calvary
- vs -
Barney Green

As the music kicks up, The Calvary can be spotted in the corner of the arena with his chest puffed out. He flies down to the ring before slowly descending onto a turnbuckle where he gives out a mighty bellow. He pounds his chest before stepping down into the ring and cracking his knuckles.

Vinnie Lane: "It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's another Blackwater... I mean The Calvary!"

"Death March" By Motionless In White starts to play as the fans boo throughout the arena. Out comes Barney Green as we see that figure with him. The figure cackles as he sees Barney Green start walking down towards the ring. The fans look frightened as the figure follows him. He makes it to the ring as we see the figure pull out a car battery and jumper cables. Green just exposes his thumbs to him as the figure sparks the cables and then places them on Green's thumbs as Green just grunts. he removes the cables and Green climbs into the ring. Green just stares into space as his music fades.

Vinnie Lane: "If Barney can combat the evils of morbid obesity I'm sure he could do pretty well against a superhuman."

Calvary cracks his neck looking at a motionless Barney with a raised eyebrow.

DING! DING! DING!

And Barney comes to life! Stumbling at Cal with his arms outstretched; Calvary ducks under one of Green's arm and grabs the wrist with a twist and sends a lightning-fast fist into Green's stomach; the blow lands with an echoing thud; Green doubles over as Calvary wraps Green's arm around and traps Barney in a sleeper hold! Calvary leads Green into the centre of the ring as Barney struggles in the hold before being dropped to the mat with a sleeper slam! Calvary transitions into a quick cover.

1

...

2

Kickout at two!

Barney shoves Calvary away with a grunt and the two get back to their feet; Green goes to grab Calvary but his movement is too slow and Cal sends two amazing strikes into Green's ribs! Cal follows with a headbutt which knocks Greens' screws loose and The Superhuman takes advantage with a Gorilla Press Slam which he makes look easy! The crowd pop as Calvary stalls Green in the air before dropping him down.

Vinnie Lane: "Calvary in full control so far, be interesting to see if Barney can make a comeback."

Green crashes onto the mat and strains trying to lift himself, The Figure in Green's corner motioning for him to get up. Barney obliges but only with the help of Calvary, grabbing Green's collar before sending him into the ropes, Cal goes into the ropes opposite and leaps springboarding off and landing a springboard stunner!

Vinnie Lane: "The Fall of Man!"

Hit with perfection and Calvary goes into a lackadaisical pin with the crowd counting the pin with the ref.

1

The Figure in Green's corner reaches into the ring.

2

It latches something onto green's ear and sparks the car battery.

THR-NO!

Green springs up with a roar!

Vinnie Lane: "Holy shit! Barney's a Frankenstein!? When did this happen?"

Green immediately rushes Calvary who takes a swing but Green no-sells that shit like a big dick hero. Green headbutts Calvary with a huge amount of force which stuns him. Calvary shakes the cobwebs but Green is rampaging knocking Cal with an elbow before slamming him into the mat with a bodyslam; Cal kips up but mid-air Green grabs his face and slams the back of his head down onto the canvas, the crowd erupt with a huge pop as Barney roars to the sky.

Calvary rolls away from a splash and gets to his feet but Barney is right on him; Calvary looses his footing and has to go for a big wind-up but is caught with an Intelligent Diversion! Cal stumbles back from the throat punch, clutching his neck and Barney rushes in again but Calvary masks the pain and unleashes a mighty combo!

Vinnie Lane: "JUSTICE!"

A sickening body blow!

Vinnie Lane: "RIGHTEOUSNESS!"

A brutal uppercut!

Vinnie Lane: "AND DUE PROCESS!"

And a hellish clothesline!

Barney drops but slowly starts to pick himself up as Calvary hops up to the top turnbuckle and...

Vinnie Lane: "THE CRUSADE!!!"

Calvary leaps looking for a top rope Superman punch!

COUNTERED!!!

As Barney picks Calvary from the air and drops him with his patented [b]FOLEYPLEX!

Green pins Calvary with a bridge from the fisherman suplex!

1!

....

2!!

....

THRE-KICKOUT!!!

The crowd go crazy as calvary gets out of the pin at 2.9!

Green and Calvary separate as they slowly stand; Green seems to be slowing down, his previous damage gaining on him as the electricity fades. Calvary seems almost out of breath as he eyes Green shambling towards him; Barney roars for a clothesline but Calvary ducks under the blow!

He gets to Barney's back!

Holds him for a German Suplex!

AND FLIES!

The crowd go apeshit!

CALVARY CARRIES BARNEY UP TO THE LIGHTNING RIG BEFORE TURNING BACK DOWN TO THE MAT!

Vinnie Lane: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE! That was like a German super-superplex! ... A hyperplex!"

The Calvary creates a bridge for the pin!

1!

...

2!!

...

3!!!!!

Winner - The Calvary!

The crowd applauds as the bell sounds and Calvary raises to his feet and dusts himself off before raising a hand to the audience.

Vinnie Lane: "That was pretty dope. I see a bright future for Calvary... And also a bill for hitting his foot on that light up there… we’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors! I like to get them out of the way early!"

"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
Boris
- vs -
Raphael Blackwater
Triple Threat!

Raphael Blackater is in the ring when Anarchy returns from commercial, and the crowd doesn’t really seem to notice or care. Poor guy. He’s not even the ginger. Wait, is he? I don’t even know.

The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.

Boris rushes out from behind the curtain, tossing bottles of Stolichnaya vodka to the crowd as he heads down the ramp. He pauses for a moment to squat and show off his slick preesyadkee moves, nailing the dance perfectly before standing back up and running to the ring where he immediately clobbers Blackwater with his last vodka bottle, shattering it against his head and nearly killing Raphael.

Vinnie Lane: “Whoa! I guess this match is gonna go ahead and start now… someone should probably check on Raph, he might have brain trauma.”

Boris barrels at Ned Kaye, shoving him into a corner and beating him with his mittened fists. Ned grabs the earflaps of Boris’ hat to get some separation, eventually sending the cossack into the turnbuckles and drilling him from behind (heh) with a dropkick.

When Boris gathers himself and turns around, Ned Kaye is right there with a flying pair of knees to the face, and Ned holds on after impact to lean back and then monkey flip Boris into the center of the ring.

Boris slithers away from Kaye when Ned tries to slip onto him for an early pinfall, and when Ned pursues he finds himself with a faceful of RUSSIAN MIST.

Vinnie Lane: “That was definitely vodka.”

Ned staggers and Boris lays into him with a huge double ax handle to the back, then mitten-rakes him down his bare back. Turning to face Boris again, Ned takes a mitten thumb to the eye! Boris body slams Ned and then starts Slav Squatting into repeated leg drops across Ned’s collarbone. After a third leg drop, Boris stays on top and folds his arms, waiting for a three count.

1!

2!!

Ned kicks out, shocking Boris. Boris rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair from underneath, then hurries back in and races toward Ned Kaye… who roundhouse kicks the chair into Boris’ face! Boris nearly got kicked out of his balaclava! Ned with a cover!

1!

2!!

Boris rolls a shoulder up!

Vinnie Lane: “I think the slippery fabric of Boris’s track suit pants helped him out there!”

Boris squirms away from Ned and finds the chair again, but this time he pulls the chair in half? And inside is a slightly smaller chair? And then he repeats the process several more times, each time finding a smaller chair inside the one he pulled apart before.

Vinnie Lane: “Boris is using a Russian Nesting Chair! He’s gotten down to one tiny chair that fits in the palm of his hand!”

Boris takes the mini chair and flings it at Ned… and it goes right down Ned’s mouth throat! Ned begins to cough and choke, grabbing at his esophagus and turning purple. Boris panics and rushes behind Ned Kaye, giving him a Heimlich maneuver with strong, Slavic thigh squats to help.

NED SPITS THE CHAIR OUT!!!

Ned leans over, breathing deep, and Boris pats him on the back. Ned thanks him and shakes his hand, then pulls him into a belly to belly suplex! Boris rolls out of the ring just as Raphael Blackwater staggers back into it, somehow. There’s not a chance he doesn’t have a fractured skull, his head is very clearly misshapen at this point.

Ned Kaye climbs to the top rope and comes screaming off, catching Blackwater in a snap hurricanrana that he transitions into a headscissor submission! The Ego Crusher!

Vinnie Lane: “That’s it! Raphael Blackwater was tapping even before the move was complete! This one’s over just like that, people!”

Winner by Submission - “Notorious” Ned Kaye

Amjetkun Socio
- vs -
Maxine
Bench Press Brawl!

Max and Socio will each have to do a three sets of 300 pound bench presses, 10 reps each set, before starting the match!

Vinnie Lane: “Looks like Maxine could not wait to get this thing going, she’s already down in the ring helping the crew get the bench press ready.”

Maxine can bee seen stacking piles of 45 pound plates next to each end of the bench press bar, then sliding three plates onto each end. She then shrugs and then tosses two more on each end as well.

Vinnie Lane: “Max really upping the ante here, that’s a total of 495 pounds now!”

The crowd pops as Amjetkun Socio’s music blares through the PA as if the song itself were on steroids. Rather than emerging on foot from behind the curtain, though, Socio is revealed to be standing on top of a tanker truck labeled with the XWF’s official protein shake sponsor - 1PUMPCHUMP.

Vinnie Lane: “Amjie has a hose attached to that tanker, and he’s whipping it around and pretending to stroke it… and now it’s spraying all over the front row! Those fans definitely got exposed to some seriously USADA-questionable chemicals just now!”

Socio continues spraying the fans with the questionably FDA- cleared protein shake, watching as some of them fall into convulsions while others spontaneously grow body hair. Many women will find out later that they are sterile.

Socio’s tanker arrives at ringside and he turns the hose on himself, soaking his muscle shirt through until it is weakened and transparent against his muscular torso. He then shreds it off of himself as if it were made of one-ply toilet paper, wiping the protein shake off of his skin with its remnants and then throwing it into the crowd.

Maxine seems impressed. Her kegel muscles go into overdrive, and it is somehow noticeable to the naked eye. She takes the initiative to dive under the bench press and start pumping iron in an effort to impress Socio, throwing up a quick set of ten reps without breaking a sweat.

Socio leaps down from his tanker and claps for Max, showing that he approves of her strength and athleticism. She blushes and starts to back away from the bench, but Amjetkun asks her to help him load even MORE weight onto the bar. Maxine’s eyes widen with surprise and/or lust, and she bends over to grab a pair of plates, handing one to Socio and turning to place the other on the end of the bench press bar.

*CLUNK*

Vinnie Lane: “Socio just flattened Maxine with that 45 pound plate to the back of her skull! Maxine is down and out!”

Socio then slams the plates onto the bar, adding weight up to a total of 675 pounds! He easily slams the bench up and down twenty times before hopping off and rolling Maxine onto her back, resting his crotch on her chin for a dreaded teabag pin!

1!

2!!

3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Amjetkun Socio

Vinnie Lane: “I can’t believe Socio pulled that on sweet innocent Maxine! I can’t… wait… Max is up… she’s staring at Socio while he walks away from the ring… is she… is she making a heart symbol with her hands??? Did she LIKE that???”

Socio heads to the back while Maxine stares at him with lust in her eyes.

Zane Norrison
- vs -
Atara Themis

Vinnie Lane: “Looks like Zane Morrision is already in the ring, but we still get to enjoy watching Atara Themis entrance!

Zane and Atara circle each other in the ring before Atara tries to get the jump on her undead opponent and throws a few quick punches to the face and body, quickly getting out of the reach of Zane before he can take a bite out of her. He lunges for her again, but Atara quickly ducks and delivers a few quick kicks to the side of the knee. Zane, smiling, tries for a back elbow to the side of the temple, but Atara ducks at the last second and delivers a forearm smash right to his kisser. He reaches up and touches the side of his mouth and notices a little blood on the tip of his finger and turns his attention back towards Atara with a sadistic, bloody, toothless smile on his face.

Vinnie Lane: “The advantage of being a zombie is, he can just glue those missing teeth back into place later!”

Atara tries to dip into the same pot twice with another forearm smash, but Zane ducks and german suplexes her right into the turnbuckle, her body crashing down to the canvas just as quickly as she left his arms. He picks her up and walks over to the turnbuckles where he sits on the top one and starts violently choking the life out of Atara who is grasping and clawing at anything she can grasp. Just as she is able to grasp of Zane the referee counts to four and Zane drops her on her face. Zane stands on the turnbuckle looking down at his prey and waits until she turns to her back before jumping off and delivering a leg drop across the throat! Rolling over, he covers her for the pin as the official races over from across the ring.

KICKOUT!

Vinnie Lane: “Not even a one count…. ouch!”

Zane wastes no time and grabs her by the hair to help her up, but Atara delivers a kick to his head from her back that has Zane stumbling back and giving her enough time to get up on her own. She rushes Zane and delivers a double knee that sends him into the turnbuckle. She runs towards Zane and jumps with a body press, but Zane moves out at the last second and she goes crashing into the corner. He turns her around and pushes her back into the turnbuckle, delivering a variety of knife edge chops mixed with some elbows before finishing off the fury with a headbutt that she ducks out of the way of as she rolls behind him. Zane turns to catch a European uppercut that backs him into the corner. Atara puts some distance between them by rushing to the opposite corner. Zane begins to stir and steps out of the corner still slightly disoriented.

Vinnie Lane: “Judgement of Paris! She nearly took his head off!”

Atara makes the cover!

1!

2!!

3!!!

Vinnie Lane: “Beauty has defeated the beast!”

Winner - Atara Themis!

The Sick Cunts
(Fuzz & Noah Jackson)
- vs -
Vita Valenteen & Ruby

Noah Jackson and Fuzz - The Sick Cunts, emerge, side by side as "Down with the King" by Run DMC blares from the speakers and the crowd goes wild. They stroll down the ramp, acknowledging the fans that they find deserving of their affection and flipping the others off, as they head toward the ring. Each ascending the steel steps on either side of the squared circle, they both enter at the same time. Once inside, they clasp hands and pull each other in for a hug and mutual pat on the back, before taking their position within the ring.

The opening riff of "Hart Attack" blast over the PA as the crowd breaks out into a mixed reaction that's more negative than not. VV walks out onto the stage and and postures for the crowd, soaking up their jeers as if it's the ultimate sign of support. She makes her way down the ramp, ignoring the outreached hands of any fans she still has along the way. VV the heads up the steps and walks along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV flexes her biceps as the crowd continues to boo. She stands up, laughing off the crowd as she prepares for the match to start.

Guitars play across the P.A. as the lights go dark. The crowd comes to their feet as the tron again comes to life, this time with words on the screen for the crowd to sing along with. Green and yellow strobe lights fly around the arena as the crowd sings along with the Kaisers:

Crowd: DA-DAT DAHHHHH! DA-DAT DAHHHHHHH!

The lights continue to search for the Anarchy Champion as the song kicks into gear until the Kaisers get to the money shot:

"Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby!!"

In an explosion of light, the Banana Lime girl BURSTS from the stage and high into the air before landing in a 3-point stance. She stands up, her arms at her waist to hold the Anarchy Heavyweight Championship, her chin above the horizon, as the fans throw yellow and green streamers at her in a cascade of color. Ruby spins in a circle, creating a tornado of streamers, until each and every one is held up by her whirlwind of motion. She then gently and politely hands all of the streamers to a stagehand before making her way down the aisle, taking the time to hand out hi-fives to children and dole out hugs to those wearing her mask. She then makes sure to shake the hands of every stagehand at ringside, including the referee and announcer after climbing into the ring.

Tonight! Is an epic night for battle! Tonight! Is a night for Anarchy! And the jam packed arena that's here tonight is literally on their feet and screaming in anticipation for this match. Vita Valenteen and Ruby vs Fuzz and Noah Jackson! What an amazing combination! The fight that we've all been waiting for! With the teams in their respective corners, the debate begins and soon it is decided that Fuzz and Vita Valenteen will start this fight. A generous pop from the audience accompanies them as they make their way to the center of the ring. Then with a nod from the referee to the official bell ringer, this tag team match... begins!

Vita Valenteen beams brightly at Fuzz and offers out a hand to shake, in order to show there's no hard feelings tonight but when Fuzz accepts the gesture, she kicks him in the shin. Hard. And she's wearing steel toes, so she definitely left a mark with that boot to the shin. Which causes Fuzz to hop up on one foot. With zero hesitation Vita drops down and whirls around into a Leg Sweep, toppling Fuzz to the canvas. Hopping up quickly she somersaults several times to the ropes and quickly climbs them, mounting herself on the top turnbuckle. Then Vita launches herself off into a Sunset Flip.

That never connects cause Fuzz rolls away at the last second before impact. Vita hits nothing but canvas. Her body surges on the mat from the shock and Fuzz gets to his feet. Only to come back down with force, by delivering a Leg Drop. He then jumps back to his feet, quick action like afterwards and brings Vita right along with him. Sending her off towards the ropes shortly afterwards with a Hip Toss. Vita hits the ropes, bounces off of them and comes soaring back. Right into a Big Boot! Bam! Vita slams back onto the canvas and Fuzz greets her there with a Fist Drop to the face! Oh boy! That's definitely going to leave a bruise! Fuzz covers for the pin!

1

Kickout!

Both wrestlers get to their feet and Fuzz comes at Vita with a Clothesline. Vita ducks under and twirls around with a Roundhouse Kick. That catches Fuzz in the spine. He drops forward but catches himself with his hands and knees. Pushing himself up swiftly, Fuzz pivots around and gets hit with a Superkick. The kick sends him flying into the ring post. Where his back slams against it and he drops to the mat. Vita rushes towards him and leaps up into a Missile Drop Kick. Her feet crack him in the skull and he falls to the side. Holding his head.

This inspires Valenteen to attempt a Crossface! Yanking back with all her might, Fuzz lets out a wail in agony! Vita may be fun size but when she's determined, she really gets the job done! Proud in her progress thus far, she pulls back even harder causing Fuzz to yell out louder. He raises his hand! Hovers it close to the canvas! Then grabs onto the bottom rope! Hoorah! The hold is broken! Noah Jackson cheers for his papa as both wrestlers separate and rise to their feet. Vita turns and glares at Noah and he simply reacts by blowing a kiss. An act that both distracts and causes Valenteen to narrow her eyes even more and add in a scowl.

Incoming! Fuzz with a Spear! Vita is slammed into the ring post on the other side of the ring! Fortunately, it also happens to be where Ruby is standing in wait and she reaches down and tags herself into the skirmish, by tapping Vita Valenteen's shoulder. Leaping over the top turnbuckle, Ruby hits Fuzz with a Dropsault! Meanwhile Vita scrambles under the ropes to safety. Where she uses the support of the ropes to balance herself as she takes a momentary breather. Going back to Ruby and Fuzz, it can be seen that Ruby has pulled the man up to his feet and tossed him towards the ropes in the exact same fashion that he did to Vita!

Fuzz slingshots off the ropes and soars back, right into a (Springboard) Dropkick! Fuzz crashes to the canvas and Ruby mounts him, her fists meeting his face soon after in a rapid succession. Ruby serves a series of rights and lefts. One right after the other. A look of fury burning behind her mask, she is relentless and unyielding. Somehow through it all, Fuzz manages to surge up and Headbutt her! Ruby holds her nose and drops off to the side. Fuzz uses this interlude to push himself up and run to his corner, where he tags in Noah Jackson.

Noah enters the ring and is encouraged by an entire arena chanting the word "Cunt"... it's music to his ears. By this time Ruby is already rising to her feet. Jackson puts her down with a Baseball Slide! Not! Ruby totally somersaulted over that shit! Landing behind Noah, she does a superhero style pose and waits for him to rise and turn to face her. Opting to not do a cheap shot from behind. When Noah does get to his feet and spins around to face her, the two race towards each other and begin trading rights and lefts.

Ruby catches Noah with a mean left hook and Noah retaliates with a stiff right. This continues on like this until Noah mixes things up with a Throat Chop! Which causes Ruby to cough visibly. The perfect opening for a knee to Ruby's ribs! Ruby doubles over and Noah sends her to the mat with a Double Axe Handle! Several stomps are sent to Ruby's spine from Noah. Each stomp brought down with more force than the one before.

Ruby yelps out in pain and Noah just giggles at the sound. After several moments of this though, Noah grows bored, so he speeds off to the ropes and ascends them with ease. Leaping off the top turnbuckle as quickly as he touches it, he executes - WORLD'S SICKEST MOONSAULT! The audience is shrieking in excitement! The move actually hits its target! When it usually misses! Noah Jackson hooks the leg!

1

2...

Kickout!

Both competitors get to their feet and Ruby dashes onward, towards Noah. Throwing herself into an immediate Crossbody. Her and Noah crash to the canvas, where they continue to tussle. Throwing a series of punches as they battle out who's going to dominate on top, eventually Ruby wins this struggle. However this victory is short lived when Noah thrusts forward with a Headbutt! Ruby topples to the side holding her injured nose and Noah gradually gets to his feet.

He towers over Ruby with a shit eating grin plastered across his face. Reaching down he tears her off the mat by her hair and winds back, preparing to punch the daylights out of her. Suddenly a chant starts to form though, it's faint at first but it soon grows in volume. The chant, of course, is Ruby's name and it is repeated over and over again. This seems to energize the super dear-o and she catches Noah's hand, seconds before impact. With her free hand she wags a finger in front of his face and then follows that up with a knee to his midsection. Noah doubles over and Ruby hits him with the Ruby Cutter, but Noah grabs referee John Bihl by the belt and the official goes down with him! Bihl hit his head hard and is seeing stars as Ruby covers for the pin… but no one is there to count! Ruby looks around and counts herself, slamming her palm into the mat!

1

2...

Kickout!

Incredible!

Noah Jackson kicks out!

Ruby looks surprised and decides to get the fresher Vita Valenteen into the ring, and she tags in the Pink Mist with gusto, pointing to the tired Noah Jackson and assuring Vita they’ve got this in the bag. Ruby turns her attention to trying to rouse the referee.

Vinnie Lane: “Oh no dude, what is this nonsense? What are these two goobers doing here?”

Suddenly from the back, the two newest ‘members’ of the XWF officiating crew emerge, each pulling a Foot Locker referee shirt over their heads. Ari Silverstein, the XWF’s mail clerk and rap game hopeful, and also Roman. Just Roman. No one really seems to know who he is, except maybe Centurion, but he isn’t admitting to anything. Maybe Fuzz can give him Maury’s number?

Anyway, Ari slides into the ring awkwardly as Vita heads over to Noah and starts to pull him to his feet, but he catches her in a sudden small package!

1!

Vita rolls through! Now it’s Noah pinned to the mat! Roman has gotten into the other side of the ring and makes a count!

1!

Noah rolls it back over and… wait… are they making out???

Vinnie Lane: “They are totally making out. Noah looks like a high school kid the way he’s trying to sneak a hand over her boob. Wait... HE GOT IT! NOAH JACKSON JUST HIT SECOND BASE LIVE ON ANARCHY!!!”

1!

Vita rolls Noah onto his back, her tongue still firmly in his mouth as both Fuzz and Ruby turn away from the ring. Roman looks like he has something to prove with his theatrical hand motions during his count…

1!

2!!

Noah back on top! He’s gotten under Vita’s top!

Vinnie Lane: “I gotta admit… I’m proud of the dude…”

Ari Silverstein tries to match Roman with ridiculous flair in his count.

1!

2!!

They roll over again…

And again…

And AGAIN…

1!

2!

1!

2!

1!

2!

1!

2!

3!!!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Vinnie Lane: “What the heck?”

Both referees are holding up a different hand, Ari holding Noah’s high while Roman lift’s Vita’s. Noah Jackson is covered in lipstick and has a VERY obvious boner, which he does his best to conceal.

Tig O’Bitties: “Ladies and gentlemen, both officials have called the match a pinfall on each competitor… therefore this match is declared a DRAW!”

DRAW

Vinnie Lane: “I have to say, I lost track of who was up and who was down there… I think somehow they each had their shoulders on the mat! Ruby and Fuzz look MAD!”

Ruby rolls her eyes and hops off the apron, grabbing her Anarchy Championship and walking away from Vita, who trails after her trying to explain that she was just lost in the moment.

Noah Jackson is greeted with an icy stare from Fuzz as he runs to his corner to brag about touching some titty. He holds his hand up to show Fuzz exactly what technique he used to cup the hooter, but Fuzz shakes his head and retrieves his X-Treme Championship and heads for the back.

Noah Jackson shrugs and starts leading a chant of SE-COND BASE with the Arkansas crowd, who are shocked to learn they can count that high.

SE-COND BASE!

SE-COND BASE!

SE-COND BASE!

Vinnie Lane: “I think we need another break here before our main event… don’t touch that dial folks! Noah Jackson became a man tonight!”

SE-COND BASE!

SE-COND BASE!

SE-COND BASE!

INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"Big Beaut" Bobbi London
- vs -
Geri Miller
Internet Rules!

Bobbi London stepped through the entranceway, microphone in hand and Internet Title around her waist. She paused to drink in the cheers from the fans as she rubbed her hand across the face of the title that she had embodied since its inception. This was her biggest challenge to date and it was clear that she was taking it seriously.

The beat kicked in as her partner and best friend Maxine joined her with a wicked beatbox and she began her freestyle.

“WHAT’S UP LITTLE ROOOOOOCK!”

“Bobbi London in the ‘izzie, ‘air straight, never frizzy;
About to beat up that ‘airball Geri, leave ‘er broke and dizzy!”

“Who’s that ‘oe coming X-treme to try and lift me title?;
Gonna twist ‘er up so bad she’ll need a whole case of Midol!”

“She’s a poser ass bitch, done stole the Cool Kids name;
Running around posing like she’s got some claim to fame!”

“Wanna be famous bitch, I’s will show yous tonight;
This aint the Olympics, it’s a real fucking fight!”

“See, I owes the beating of a lifetime for the shit you did;
Might be my last night as champ, after this murder bid!”

“BOOM!”

Bobbi drops the microphone, her demeanor one of pure anger as she made herself ready to make Geri pay for every heinous action and foul word she’d uttered.

Suddenly, all the lights in the arena, go green and a single spotlight hits the entrance as smoke begins to rise up and waft throughout the crowd. Billowing and twisting about, the crowd starts instantly coughing up a storm. That's right. The entire audience is coughing up a storm. How odd. Then, as if on cue, Geri Miller steps out and smiles. Walking briskly towards the ring, she takes a moment midway to spin and twirl through the clouds of smoke, breathing in deeply. Looking happy and rejuvenated, she continues down the ramp and climbs the steel steps. As she enters the ring the smoke ceases and the lights return to normal. With a wave to Bobbi, she then takes her position within the squared circle and awaits the start of this match.

Both competitors size each other up, walking in a circle, around one another, in the center of the ring. As this occurs, the ref gives the signal and this match for the Internet title... BEGINS!

Geri Miller flashes a cocky grin and licks the palm of her hand before winding back and bitch slapping Bobbi London! Bobbi's head shifts to the side and the crowd ooooh's. Someone even screams "Oh no she didn't!". But yes, she did. Oh yes, she sure did. Snapping her attention swiftly back to Geri, London gives an angry glare and headbutts her. Miller stumbles back holding her nose and Bobbi follows the Headbutt up with a Big Boot to the mid-section. This causes Geri to fly back and crash against the ropes. Her arms entangling with them as she flops back. Making her an easy target for Bobbi as she marches forth with fury in her eyes. With a deadset stare, Bobbi grasps Miller by the throat. Lifting Geri high in the air, London delivers an epic Chokeslam! The goddess of ganja slams against the canvas and the crowd goes wild!

While the audience screams Bobbi London reaches down and rips Geri Miller from the mat by her hair. Positioning her into a Powerbomb, she executes the move with massive intent to destroy! Then she covers for the pin! Could this match seriously be over that quickly??? How disappointing!

1!

2!!

NO! Shoulder up! The match continues!

Both wrestlers rise to their feet and Bobbi London wastes no time. She charges like a bull! Running full force like some kinda wild animal dashing forward to tear its prey to shreds. At the last second before impact, Geri sidesteps out of the way and immediately twirls around with a Roundhouse Kick to the back of Bobbi's skull. The kick combined with the momentum of her own running, projects Bobbi forward causing her head to smash against the top turnbuckle. London topples backwards and crashes to the canvas. The whole ring shakes momentarily and the vibrations are strong enough to make Geri hold her hands out, in order to maintain her balance as she teeters back and forth for a bit. Luckily she keeps her bearings and does not fall.

Walking up to the downed London, Miller stomps her a few times in the head, chest and stomach before placing her in a quick Figure Four. Bobbi yells out. This only makes Geri pull the hold tighter. Pain radiates from London's eyes, while determination and an intense desire for victory emanate from Geri's. Both women scream out but for two very different reasons. Outside the ring, the fans cheer for destruction! These crazed lunatics are eating this up with a spoon practically! All except for one tiny midget in a top hat, sitting in the front row that's covering his eyes. Poor little guy. Back inside the ring, Bobbi London shrieks out in agony! Miller impossibly yanks the hold even tighter! Which causes Bobbi's whole body to convulse like she's having some kind of seizure! That's how much it hurts! She reaches her hand out, it's trembling like a leaf and it looks as though she might tap! This might be it folks! Shows over!

No!

London averts her hand to the bottom rope and grasps onto it!

The audience gasps in shock!

Geri Miller's eyes widen! She can't believe it! Well believe it baby cause Beautiful Bobbi London managed to grab that rope! Thus breaking the hold!

The referee separates the women and they take respective places across from each other in the ring. Miller is fuming about the failed submission attempt, while it's clear Bobbi is feeling the effects of what happened. Still the fight must go on. Both ladies' eyes meet and they rush towards each other. Catching one another in a fury of rights and lefts. Neither really getting the upper hand, it's fairly equalized at the moment but that doesn't mean that their blows don't pack a mighty wallop. Sick of the exchange not going anywhere, Bobbi breaks the cycle with a Headbutt! Swiftly wrapping her arms around Miller she squeezes Geri tight in a Bear Hug! Miller squirms around and struggles but to no avail! Her eyes wide and wild in agony, Bobbi squeezes tighter! And tighter! AND TIGHTER! Geri is punching her in the head now in a desperate attempt for freedom and gasping for air! The struggle is real! Then a definite snap is heard and Geri slumps into Bobbi's massive form. With an evil smirk Bobbi lets Geri go and Miller flops to the canvas. Looking broken and motionless.

Smiling Bobbi runs to the ropes and bounces her big beautiful body off of them, bounding off them she speeds like a bullet towards the other side and slingshots off those too. She continues this back and forth process, repeatedly until she's almost a blur in the ring, that's how fast she's moving and then she hits Miller with a Standing Body Splash. Slamming her entire weight onto Geri! She thunders against both canvas and girl! The whole ring looks like it might cave in! That's how great the impact was! It is so immense and powerful, even the referee gets knocked to the mat! Falls straight on his ass! London hooks the leg!

Since the ref was capsized to the canvas, it takes him a while to make his way over to where Geri and Bobbi are. He is having just an awful time trying to stand. Apparently the drop affected him rather greatly. He most assuredly bruised his coccyx (that's the tailbone). Eventually he gives up and simply crawls over on his hands and knees. Like a small baby that hasn't learned to walk yet. This would have been way longer than a three count, by the way. More like a 27 count. When the ref reaches the women, Bobbi shoots him an angry glare and he shrugs sheepishly before starting the count.

1!

2!!

Kickout!

Oh my god! In all that time it took the ref to actually begin counting for the pin, Geri Miller has not only revived but she also kicks out! Unbelievable!

Miller and London get to their feet. Bobbi's pissed and it looks as though Geri is briefly having a hard time to stand. Nursing her injured ribs. It is plain to see that one or maybe more is broken. Bobbi doesn't hesitate though. She zooms onward, towards Miller, who catches her with a Superkick! How she pulled that off with her damaged ribs is anyone's guess. The kick causes Bobbi to stumble backwards but she does not fall. So Miller comes in with a Running Drop Kick! But Bobbi rushes forward and catches Geri mid air before the kick could connect. Immediately she executes - Bye Bye Barbie! And the count begins again!

1!

2!!

Kickout!

Roaring like a hungry lioness Bobbi stands! As Geri uses the ropes to help herself up. There is no denying the fact that this lil' pothead is in some serious pain. London pivots around and charges like a torpedo! Her eyes burning with rage! However, Geri moves away, right before she's able to suffer getting steamrolled by the heavy duty beauty! Instead Bobbi soars through the ropes and crashes in a heap on the outside of the ring! Resulting in her head smashing into the fan barricade! Fans explode in a massive burst of excitement!

Slowly, Geri Miller hobbles to the ring post and gradually but effectively, climbs the ropes. Perching herself atop the top turnbuckle, she takes a breath and looks out upon the crowd. From there, she leaps and performs a well delivered Miller's Tale! The 630 Splash connects with perfection! Bobbi London surges with agony but Geri also feels the pain of the impact as well. Rolling to the side, her arms wrapped around her injured ribs, Geri grits her teeth and manages to drape herself over the flattened Bobbi London.

1!

2!!

3!!!

Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! We’ve got a new Internet Champion! Geri Miller did it!”

Winner and NEW XWF Internet Champion - Geri Miller

Vinnie Lane: “I can’t believe it! And Bobbi can’t either… referee Chaz Bobo is letting her know right now as Geri celebrates with her new title belt! Here comes Maxine to console her dear friend, but we are out of tie here tonight folks! What an ending! Goodnight!”

Anarchy fades from the airwaves with a closeup of Bobbi London looking devastated while Geri Miller heads to the backstage area with the Internet Title.

SPECIAL THANKS:

Zane Norrison
Noah Jackson
Vita Valenteen
Bobbi London