What else can happen in FUN Wrestling?

The action starts now!

MORE FUN WRESTLING

A helicopter flies overhead, the makeshift encampment below thriving with activity.

In the center of the camp is, of all things, a ring, set up with hundreds, possibly thousands, all seated and ready to watch a wrestling show, including a bunch of mole men. Signage everywhere says this show is being put on by one company.


FUN Wrestling takes the air again with another night of exciting FUN action.

Colonel 'Hem n' Haw' Peckinpah is marching out to the ring, followed by the Sports Equipment Kid and Thomas the Tank Engineer. They all come out to Thomas the Tank Engineer's music.



The crowd is wild for tonights exciting action! The three men enter the ring. Peckinpah grabs a microphone, the Sports Equipment Kid starts hitting tennis balls with a hockey stick, and Thomas the Tank Engineer is doing his little train dance around the ring.

CHOO CHOO!

The crowd knows and echos it!

*CHOO CHOO!*

Everybody settles down. Peckinpah speaks.

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you once again for another night of FUN Wrestling! Tonight, these two men, these two athletes, these two guys in the ring in amazing yet very easily recognized costumes are here tonight to take on some tag team competition! And their opponents...



The Fifteen Dollar Man and Gemstone Gene make their way down to the ring, carrying a large sack. Together. It's that large of a sack that two men must carry it. They enter the ring.

The Sports Equipment Kid and Thomas the Tank Engineer vs The Fifteen Dollar Man and Gemstone Gene

Peckinpah, I know you're the money man here in FUN Wrestling, well, I am too. Fifteen whole dollars.

The Fifteen Dollar Man reaches into his pocket and fans out fifteen dollars in singles in front of Peckinpah. The Sports Equipment Kid reaches up for the money but the Fifteen Dollar Man immediately pockets it, far too quick for the Sports Equipment Kid.

Hey, you might have the greatest deals on sports equipment in certain markets in the midwest, but here, tonight, we won't pay you a dime! It's a discount night tonight! We have coupons! We'll beat you like we're your Sports Equipment Dad!

Woah, woah, guys, before we go any further, any fart jokes?

Thomas the Tank Engineer raises his hand. Everybody else gestures he doesn't have to. He speaks.

What do you call it when you fart after having a banana?

What?

Tootie Fruity!

Everybody in the ring forces a laugh at the lame fart joke.

Well, I reckon one little boy is very happily vindicated right now. Anyhow...

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!

As the gong sounds courtesy David Ringman...










Suddenly...
















Inexplicably...
















All of a sudden...
















As a complete surprise if you haven't gathered by now...
















THE CANDY CONNECTION STORMS THE RING THROWING CANDY AT PEOPLE!!!

Snickers, Hersheys, Cadbury, Allen's, all manner of candies being thrown to the crowd, each having representation. Each contributing towards the charitable donations of FUN Wrestling, we hope, because this event is completely nonprofit.

Iron Tooth Maloosky, Uncle Treasure Island, the Algebra Brothers, and Lord Edwin Kazoo Band storm the ring, and they look like they mean business.

Alright, alright, gentlemen, maybe this is getting a little out of hand, as such, allow me to introduce some other guests, and we will make this whole match into a proper fiasco! First, probably one of the most legendary legends that ever legended in the history of legendeering, give it up for Mace McClintock!



As Michael Jackson's 'Bad' blares, Centurion steps out through the little makeshift entranceway, dressed JUST like Michael Jackson from the Bad video. The crowd goes nuts for Mace McClintock as he slides into the ring, the whole of FUN Wrestling assembled in the ring backing away and staring in awe. Sharon Gecko, Sergeant Tom Dewitt and Dr. Spleenripper all come out from the back following in the wake of Mace McClintock's groove, and they enter the ring, which is getting rather crowded.

Lastly, I knew I would need someone with more power than Thomas the Tank Engineer. More groove than Mace McClintock. I give to you, none other than the mystery man himself, THE MYSTERY MAN!



Redd Thunder steps out from the entrance dressed like the classic Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes, complete with deerstalker cap. The Mystery Man lumbers into the ring, and the crowd is going wild! The fervor in the FUNderdome is at max capacity...

MAXACITY!

Alright, as GM, commissioner, head of security, owner, head of officiating, head of the class, figurehead, and all around FUN guy, I, Colonel 'Hem n' Haw' Peckinpaw, hereby declare that this will be a battle royale! Winner take all! All the marbles, all the stakes, all the, well, stuff they take! David Ringman, ring the gong!

I already did! A few minutes ago before even more people showed up!

Well, do it again!

David Ringman shrugs.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!

As the gong hits...



Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' starts to play, and everyone in the ring, including David Ringman who has entered the ring, begins to do the Thriller dance in unison together. Oh the choreography! The fans are all cheering, pictures are being snapped, and everybody seems to be having a jolly good time. As the song ends, and the dancing stops, the crowd roars at the combined efforts of people that, on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or whenever they feel like hosting Anarchy, would be trying to maim one another for glory, and fun, are just here for fun. Peckinpah pulls his microphone up.

Well, folks, tune in next time for...

Before he can finish, perhaps the most dramatic event to ever occur on FUN Wrestling goes down as there is a loud thunderclap. The people in attendance to absolutely bonkers, and the sound echoes throughout all of the camp, everybody so loud that his event must be live rejoicing as a deluge opens up from the heavens and rain starts to soak everybody. Peckinpah doesn't even bother as Robbie, beaming from ear to ear, looks around. Everybody in the ring looks ecstatic at the happenings. Barney Green takes his little train engineer's hat off and approaches Robbie.

I'm sorry that your event got rained out.

Robbie pats Barney on the shoulder.

This is what the people really needed, brother. Looks like the fire's getting knocked.

Robert Main, Centurion, and Vinnie Lane all take to ringposts, opening their arms and basking in the downpour. Thunder Knuckles starts waving towards the back as Jim Jimson comes out with a box of umbrellas, all for sale for about a thousand Xbux a pop. Theo Pryce is seen walking around ringside, hobnobbing with celebrity and official alike in the rain. Seeing that the people were happy, and that the problems at hand were dealt with, Robbie powders out of the ring and approaches a sign saying "FIRE RELIEF FUND". He pulls a marker from his pocket and puts a slash through the letters "IRE" and scrawls above them "LOOD".