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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "C*nt Fest" RP Board
XWF video archives w/ Jim Jimson!
Author Message
Thunder Knuckles™ Offline
A No Good Bastard



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
01-13-2020, 03:17 AM

The promo begins with a commercial for Steven P Coolie.


If you’ve been hurt on the job, you need to know your rights.

I’m attorney Steven P. Coolie. On the job, injuries can turn your life upside down. One minute your working to earn a living, then you get hurt on the job. How do you provide for your family now? What’s next?

Insurance companies work to keep their costs down. They aren’t always working for your best interests. Get ahold of someone who’s only job is to protect you!

Insurance companies use experienced lawyers, shouldn’t you?

Inbox Steven P. Coolie for a free consultation.



Thunder Knuckles is in XWF video archives with Jimmy. Thunder Knuckles looks extremely happy and genuinely excited to be studying for his Tag Team Match, with his partner Jim “the Jim” Jimson.


Jimmy! Holy fucking shit! Fuzz and Noah Jackson have really outdone themselves with this one!


Jimmy looking unhappy the match has xbux directly tied to it.


You're only saying that because you get to tag with your buddy Jim Jimson!



Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy.


It’s Jim “the Jim” Jimson, Jimmy! That’s not the only reason! Xbux is on the line!

FINE! Jim “the Jim” Jimson.

Why are you so salty? You know I invited Jim “the Jim” Jimson to study with us right?

Do you ever think that maybe I don't like to be slapped?





The camera pans to the right revealing Jim “the Jim” Jimson. Jim Jimson Then slaps Jimmy.


Good one, Jim!

JJ: Hey, TK, and Jimmy, we are relatives so I can do this.

We are not relatives, Jim “the Jim” Jimson, what are you talking about?


Then Jim “the Jim” Jimson slaps Jimmy! Thunder Knuckles laughs and then Jim Jimson says…


JJ: We’re relatives…


Jimmy rubbing his face just wishing this would be over, while Thunder Knuckles for the first time is ready to learn.


Let’s take a look at bRiaN sTorM.

How’d you get your voice to do that Jimmy?

Do what with my voice?

Say his name again!


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy.


bRiaN sTorM.

THAT! I can’t do that! Brian Storm. FUCK!


Jim Jimson slaps JImmy.


bRiaN sTorM… It’s pretty easy.

Jim, you try!

JJ: Brian Storm, damn it, I said it wrong too. It must be the slaps. Quick TK slap me!


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jim, in the face leaving a red mark on his face.


JJ: bRiaN sTorM, Ha! It works. Jimmy don’t worry I’ll slap you again.

No, don’t slap m-


Jim slaps Jimmy, Jimmy slaps back, which leads to TK slapping Jimmy. Jimmy just gives up and accepts slapping to be apart of his job.


Anyway, bRiaN sTorM hasn’t won a match on National television since June 15th, 2019 and hasn't on Pay Per View since War Games May 26th, 2019 when Lux carried the team to victory.

Yeah, like Scully… Fucking bum.

JJ: Wait, when did Scully start doing it with homeless people.

Jim “the Jim” Jimson I feel like your being ignored do you have anything, in particular, to say about Brian Storm?


JJ: A lot of people like to say I fuck dolphins. It looks like you ate a dolphin, lay off the dolphin's meat and uh, Oh and don’t have sex with homeless people or dolphins for that matter.


Jimmy looks down before he says what he's about to say.


Hey, Thunder Knuckles. I’m sorry you lost your XBUX Championship.

It’s all good, Jimmy! You see Vinnie Lane changed the rules I win ZERO xbux for defending or winning it. Look at the new rule book.

Wow!

I know, I’m like the Martin Brodeur of XWF! They changed the rules to keep me from dominating.


Didn’t look at it that way.

I know, Jimmy, because of the fact you're a moron.

JJ: Yeah! You bloody moron!

I'm not getting paid, by you Jim. If you say one more thing, I will slap you into the 8th dimension.

JJ: Oh sorry, It’s just, whenever I would talk back to my family I would get beaten up, so this is still a new thing for me.


Jimmy feels bad for Jim until…..


JJ: Your still a moron though.

If I'm such a moron tell me about Griffin MacAlister.


Jim pulls out his phone


JJ: Griffin Macalister has a reputation of 5 and has a fanbase of-

Just shut up, Jim!


Thunder Knuckles doesn't reply.


That’s because both of you know nothing! I do! So, please be quiet and let me tell you all about him.

Fine.

JJ: Do you want me to read out the fanbase.


Jimmy gives Jim Jimson a death stare so strong it puts him in complete silence.


Griffin MacAlister is from Chicago Illinois. He’s Highly trained in hand to hand combat and weapons specialist.


It doesn’t sound bad so far.


Jimmy looks down and pauses for a moment…


He was altered genetically and rewired biochemically…

FUCK ME! Another goddamned superhero!

Listen!

JJ: Oh I didn’t know we were fighting Blackwater, I already versed him, he's an air bender.

Well, what're his fucking superpowers?

JJ: He can Air bend TK, so watch out for that. It’s super powerful!

Griffin MacAlister has enhanced strength, speed, agility, and has high combat adaptability and no I don’t believe he can “air bend”.


Thunder Knuckles rolls his eyes and does the jerking off motion.


[Image: tenor.gif]


Griffin also has an enhanced memory and can literally learn anything but he’s not only knowledgeable about things. He can do the things after he learns them!

Give me a fucking break, Jimmy! That’s bullshit hype! If he could learn things so well, why hasn’t he learned that Thunder Knuckles only sells things at auction for xbux? NOT United States currency! Can you believe, this dumb mother fucker, offered me a quarter for October 2019 Star of the Month?

JJ: Who even pays in US currency, have you seen the xbux to USD ratio? I just bought my 17th house with 12 xbux.

Here's something you’ll enjoy, Thunder Knuckles, maybe you too Jim “the Jim” Jimson! Seeing as you’ll get paid the total of their hospital bills. He doesn’t care about his well being.


Thunder Knuckles looks over at Jim Jimson and smiles.


Perfect! This idiot doesn’t care that we’re gonna beat him and his partner to a bloody pulp! I hope they watched Steven P. Coolie's commercial before this promo. They're gonna need a good lawyer after they get their hospital bills.

JJ: Wait, so are the doctors doing this for free?

They’re bringing Canadian doctors in, although that doesn’t matter, I have to warn you both...


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy while he’s talking.


...bRiaN sTorM and Griffin MacAlister have worked together as a team before!

Let me guess, JImmy, they were unstoppable.


Thunder Knuckles said while laughing.


Well, they did win as a team!

Against who?

Jobber Too and Tre…

That’s a jobbers job, Jimmy! They job! Thunder Knuckles and Jim Jimson are no one's jobbers!


JJ: Isn’t that kind of your thing, that you do anything for xbux?

Good point, Jim! But I won't do ANYTHING for xbux, ask Force Gape. However, seeing as I’m the giver of opportunities. Brian…


Jimmy cuts off Thunder Knuckles after Jim Jimson slaps him.


bRiaN sTorM.


Thunder Knuckles lets it slide because he can’t say bRiaN sTorM.


...and Griffin MacAlister you can buy this win for what do you say, Jim? THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND xbux? I’ll split it with you.

JJ: Wait, somehow iPhones are the same price in xbux. Add another 100 thousand on there!

Settled! FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND xbux! Say it, Jimmy!


Jim Jimson slaps Jimmy.


bRiaN sTorM.

And Griffin MacAlister! That’s how much it’ll cost to beat Jim “the Jim” Jimson and ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. You know, Jim, we really need a team name.

JJ: The Jim and Knuckles Connection.

Nah!

JJ: The Jim and XBUX Connection!

You beautiful bastard that’s perfect! Your pretty fucking smart, Jim!

JJ: I spent all night thinking of it.

You know, I thought for a second that maybe, just maybe that you, Jim, did research, just a shred of research, but all you did was think of a name. I mean next thing you're going to say is that training for the match, by doing wrestling matches with a wallaby as the ref to find ways to cheat the match.

JJ: What are you talking about?

The guest referee is a wallaby.


Jim gets close up in Jimmy's face.


JJ: You better be joking because I'm not doing the match if a wallaby is the referee.

Come on Jim, I need you on this one think of all the xbux we can win by fucking these fools up! Plus, everyone knows kangaroos are better referees! Noah just enjoys fucking with people, it’s his thing.


Noah Jackson walks past the room that Thunder Knuckles, Jimmy, and Jim Jimson are in.


Yeah, Cunt deal with it.


I love your guy's accent. Fuck is that cool!


Jimmy and even Jim Jimson looks displeased at Thunder Knuckles.


Anyway, It’s very important that we crush these guys! I need to put a “W” back on my record it makes me more marketable. Speaking of being marketable! Jimmy, Have to talked to, Todd Moschitti, about running my campaign ad at the end of this video?

Sure have! He supposed to be running it right about…

Jim, we have to talk about this wallaby thing soon!



Jimmy pauses and says…


..NOW!


The scene fades to a previously recorded Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 ad Champion’s edition.


Hi, I'm Thunder Knuckles and the people who bankroll the Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 campaign say I have to make a new ad. So, here I am!


Thunder Knuckles raises his arms to his side and gives himself a twirl.


Real hard-working Americans are imp[important to me! It might just be the tagline I use throughout this entire campaign but right now, I mean it!

I may not be qualified to be President but Drezdin is! However, a dramatic camera angle could make me look like a respectable vice president. A vice president with the conviction to nod and the courage to point. I am experienced enough to cram buzz words into everything I jobs.



Thunder Knuckles says with a straight face, hoping no one caught that.


Ideas, Policies, Morals these are things I don’t need. Because Drezdin epitomizes these things! What I need is for everyone to send in your xbux in support of Drezdin/Knuckles 2020!


Then the screen flashes the words IDEAS, POLICIES, and MORALS almost unnoticeable. The scene fades to Thunder Knuckles walking in a park.


This is the part where I gloss over important issues that matter to you. Like education and how we're going to make it good. The economy by improving it by repeating the word jobs. We can’t leave out blah, blah, blah to get the votes from women and minorities.


Your screen now shows Thunder Knuckles hugging a Black lady and Hispanic women. That scene fades to Thunder Knuckles standing outside the Lincoln memorial.


We have a FIVE step program for making this great nation even greater!

Step 1: Appeal to some special interest groups including billionaires and lobbyists behind closed doors.

Step 2: Raise as many Xbux as possible through this campaign.

Step 3: Promise you earnestly that this time it’ll be different.

Step 4: Get Drezdin elected.

Step 5: Work tirelessly for the donor of this campaign.



Sence fades to Thunder Knuckles walking from behind a tree.


Every four years American are faced with a critical choice. A democrat, a republican, or someone else. With big enough donors even we the Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 campaign can become that someone else.


The scene fades to a camera angle that makes Thunder Knuckles look respectful as a vice president. While the voice-over begins.


I’m Thunder Knuckles and I approve of whatever the Drezdin/Knuckles marketing team has put in this message.

[Image: brofade.gif]
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(01-14-2020), "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (01-26-2020), Atara Raven (01-13-2020), Corey Smith (01-14-2020), Noah Jackson (01-13-2020), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (01-13-2020), red-x (01-13-2020)




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