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B.O.B. D · (01-11-2020)

"Glad you made it, Big D......."

As Steve Sayors' welcomed me with a firm handshake, I couldn't help but wonder if his words had a double meaning. While it'd be safe to assume his greeting was merely a general pleasantry among old friends, it was hard to deny it's significance to my recent brush with death. Noah Jackson's words didn't do me any favors, either, as now everyone and their mothers knew my secret. I knew Ned would never betray me like that, meaning either Noah was outside of my hospital room the day of the accident, listening in like a Peeping Cunt; or that he got lucky. Either way, the fact he could figure that out, but not who his father is, truly was remarkable.

"I want to make something VERY clear," I said sternly as I sat down across from Steve. "I did NOT try to kill myself. I will not answer ANY questions on the subject.......if you ASK any, I will rip out your tongue and shove it down your throat. Noah Jackson is one of my opponents and he will say, or do, ANYTHING to throw my game off. He can make all the accusations he wants, but I'm not gonna give any of his lies an ounce of credibility by acknowledging them! So I suggest you report on the facts and leave that fake news out of it! Wouldn't want the Trump supporters calling for your head, would you?"

Steve Sayors looked worried, but I could tell it wasn't about my threats, but rather, my well being. If he didn't believe Noah before, my outburst certainly confirmed the truth. It didn't matter, people were gonna think what they wanted, all I could do was keep on truckin' and succeed. While Noah wanted to criticize me for failing to die, I saw it as defeating Death, a feat far more superior than winning any Championship belt. If I could play a game of Chicken with the Grim Reaper and live to tell the tale, Scully and Noah Jackson were gonna be a cakewalk.

"Shall we begin?" Steve asked, breaking the awkward moment of pity from a soul much poorer than my own.

"Sounds good to me," I replied, glancing around the room.

There were three different cameras setup around our chairs, spread evenly apart. Covering each of the four walls were different blown up pictures of myself, each one capturing an XWF accomplishment of mine. The first was me proudly hoisting the XWF Federweight AND Heavymetalweight Titles above my head on Anarchy, the first time I'd held two belts simultaneously since my WWF days. On the next two walls were photos of me after I'd won my other XWF Championship, the TV and Xtreme belts. Finally, the last wall was a picture of me crying in the lockeroom after watching Sarah Lacklan and Vinnie Lane win me a Universal Title shot. This one was my least favorite, despite it being the biggest moment of my XWF career to date. Not only was I not ready back then, I also had to deal with Lane & Lacklan(which sounds like a bad law firm) stealing the limelight.

The cameramen took their places in front of their respective equipment and gave Steve Sayors thumbs up. With the cameras rolling, XWF's resident broadcast journalist began the interview. "I'd like to start by thanking you for being here, Big D," he began.

"Thanks for having me," I replied. I was practically shaking in my seat, anxious to get some things off my chest.

"Saturday night you take on former Universal Champion, Scully, along with current TV Champion, Noah Jackson, in a Triple Threat Match," he continued. "Now, some people believe, including your opponents, that you don't deserve to be in this match. They argue that you had your chance at the Christmas edition of Warfare and chose NOT to take it. What's your response to anyone who feels that way?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at the audacity of that statement. "Well, Steve, I think those people forget that I'm the former Television Champion. In most other promotions, that would automatically entitle me to a rematch; a ONE on ONE, to be specific. But not in XWF, oh no, they like to determine their contenders by a spin of some mystical wheel that says guys like Seth Feder and Mastermind deserve Universal Title shots over hard workers like Tony Santos and myself! When punks like Drezdumb and Scoliosis are being handed opportunities like Pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving; you shouldn't be questioning why I'M getting a TV Title shot, you should be asking yourself why YOU aren't getting a UNIVERSAL one!"

I took a deep breath, feeding the Champion's mockery of me, before continuing. "Anybody who thinks me receiving a TV Title shot is the problem around here is either a fuckin' idiot or a beneficiary of XWF's HORRIBLE policies! All they do is protect their Champion. Whether it be letting them choose their own opponents or having a charade of 'challengers' compete in a match that's way over their heads, for a prize that's way out of their reach! And while that's going on, the REAL Number 1 Contenders are left circle jerking onto a Title that none of their careers need. They wanted to give my buddy Chris Page the role of lockeroom leader? That's fine, I can't argue with that. But here I am, not just speaking for me, but for the boys in the back: the XWF is undisputedly the top organization in the world of professional wrestling today.......... Maybe it's time management treated it that way!"

Steve Sayors looked like he'd just seen a ghost, but he quickly regained his composure and continued. "Most people wouldn't be so quick to criticize their bosses like that. Aren't you afraid of possible repercussions?"

"Repercussions???" I bellowed in disgust. "For speaking the truth?!?! Pleeeeeease. What are they gonna do, not give me a Universal Title shot?!" I held my hand up to my mouth and made a fake shocked face.

Steve looked disappointed in my lack of care, but didn't let it prevent him from asking his next question. "What are your thoughts on Scully? He claims this match should be his and, considering he won a Number 1 Contenders Match for the opportunity, he may have a valid point."

"He most certainly does," I agreed with a nod. "As do I. This Triple Threat Match is just another mistake on the part of management, specifically Atticus Black. If XWF had anyone with an IQ higher than 2 running things, they would've granted ME a one on one against the Champion, THEN given Scully HIS shot at the winner. Give the former Champ priority, before moving onto the next challenger."

"As for my thoughts on Scully in general," I continued, a frown on my face. "I can't tell if he's stupid, or just English. It's funny how he went on about me bitching and moaning, before proceeding to.......... bitch and moan! People say that I act entitled, but they've obviously never seen a Scully promo!" I paused for a second, realizing the relevancy. "Oh wait, they haven't, that's one of the things he was bitching about! He walks around here, a ghost of the past, living off his few months as Universal Champion. You know who he sounds like? Barney fucking Green. Always reminding everyone how he was on top for a brief moment in XWF's long and illustrious history. Trying to make people believe he was an equal to guys like Robert Main, Vinnie Lane, and the Engineer......... the REAL Engineer. Not that phony who shames his former friend by stealing his name! When people look back on Scully's career, they won't give a shit that he was ever Universal Champion; they'll only remember that he was SO bad, he not only lost it to Peter Gilmour, but got picked LAST for War Games! What does that tell you, Steve?"

Sayors looked at me, blankly, before shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head.

"It means he's the worst wrestler in the XWF....." I said with a sigh. "There's a reason me and the other captains constantly passed on him: he sucks. His in ring skills are average at best and his promos are awful. He's boring and steals his material from better men. How many times have we heard someone call me Little D? That joke got old by my senior year of high school, and yet everyone still uses it. It's funny how people who've never seen my dick seem to be experts on it.........."

"Scully needs to retire, take a trip to the old folks home and bore THEM with all his tales of glory's past. If they're lucky, their hearing will have left them years ago. Might be nice for him, their blank stares, smiles, and nods might make him feel appreciated for once in his life. God knows his momma didn't love him enough......"

I was done talking about Scully. He claimed the only reason I was in this match was to take the fall so that Noah would have an excuse for losing his Title. The truth was, everyone knew it was actually HIM who was the third wheel.

"Well, Scully is just one of two opponents in this match," Sayors said, leaning forward with curiosity. "The other being current TV Champion, Noah Jackson. In just the span of a couple of months, the two of you have developed quite the rivalry. From interfering in your Lethal Lottery match, to taking your TV Title. How would it make you feel to walk into a Pay-per-view, essentially named in his honor, with that Championship?"

"It's funny, Steve," I responded, putting my hand on my chin. "The whole reason we're having 'Cuntfest' is because FUZZ won Lethal Lottery, not Noah. He's getting a Pay-per-view with his catchphrase plastered all over it, a Tag Team Title shot, AND prematurely promising people opportunities, without realizing he's not gonna be able to uphold them. I mean, I can give Atara Themis a shot, but I'd feel sorry for her."

"Anyway, my point is Noah's riding off of Fuzz's success. The only reason he's getting this attention is because Fuzz knows he wouldn't be in this position had Noah not cost me our match. I was already at a disadvantage having Blackwater as my partner, but the moment Fuzz's

'son' smashed that can of kangaroo jizz over my head, I didn't stand a chance. The man who calls ME a coward had to help his dad win Lethal Lottery. I skipped out on ONE match in my 15 year career, out of protest, and that makes me a pussy?! Give me a break! Fuzz is a bigger coward than I've EVER been. Noah says he's avoiding Luxwad because Fuzz wants it on HIS terms, but we ALL know what that means. Fuzz will wait until the Champ's down and out, probably the Main Event of Cuntfest, and then he's gonna cash in and act like he's among the elite. And then he'll learn real quick that he's not meant for the spotlight, and lose it in his first defense like Noah's convinced I did......."

"Obviously Fuzz never taught his 'son' how to count, because I had TWO successful TV Title defenses before losing it. While I admit it's nothing to be proud of, it's still more factual than Jackson's claim.........."

At that moment, I remembered a piece of information a good buddy of mine had shared to be out of the kindness of his heart......... along with some X-Bux.

"Noah Jackson's a hypocrite, Steve," I went on. "I was talking to Thunder Knuckles the other day and do you know what he told me?"

Steve Sayors seemed very intrigued, as my words had him at the edge of his seat.

"Apparently Noah attempted to purchase his Star of the Month award," I revealed. "The man who hounded ME about buying a TV Title shot, tried to buy Knuck's award! On top of that, he offered MORE money than I did for MY opportunity! It's funny how you don't hear him talk about that, could it maybe be because I won Star of the Month legitimately? I'm willing to bet it is......."

It felt good to call him out on his bullshit, God knows he was full of it.

"It's too bad for Noah I DIDN'T die in my accident, because it would saved him the embarrassment of losing to someone he constantly trashes. I've accomplished more in this business than Noah can EVER hope to! He's a one time TV and Heavymetalweight Champion(but don't tell Fuzz about the second one), what does that prove? Steve Justice held a couple Championships and nobody remembers him! The same fate will befall Noah come Savage and it's gonna be all thanks to me. I'm gonna spoil Cuntfest by strolling into their party with Noah's TV Title. They'll be so devastated, Ned and the 5'2 Mafia will walk all over them and they'll be left with nothing but their memories. And at that point, they'll be no different than Scully. And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!!!!"

Steve Sayors extended his hand and I shook it. "Thanks, Big D."

I got up and walked away from the set, completely focused on the task at hand. My body wasn't at 100%, but my mind definitely was. This match was about so much more than the TV Championship. It was about sticking it to my harshest critics and making a statement before the biggest event of their lives. My road to the Universal Championship begins Saturday night and no cunt was gonna get in my way.

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