"Why is Santa riding a T-Rex?!?!"


"I'm not exactly sure... but it's awesome. Just me being random and absurd again."


"You are fairly consistent about that."


"I know, right? Which also makes me, an oxymoron because how can someone be both consistent, and random?"


Pause.


"Noah Jackson taught me that it's possible though cause the way he described it, I am able to do both!"


"That guys a fucking toolbag."


"Yeah. What a vulva."


"Still actively demonstrating that there's more words for cunt?"


"You know it Cock Holster."


"Ha! That's both insulting and accurate."


"Well that's what brothers are for. Telling the wicked truth, with awful accuracy. You know I kid though, I would never hurtfully bash you for your preferences in that department, sincerely, with honest malice. You know that, right Ezra?"



"Heh. Yeah, I know. Ivan really enjoyed the Christmas dinner you put together. We're both really glad that you and Zane, are friends again and you settled your differences."


"Me too."


"You talk to Frankie recently? I mean after Zane and you patched things up?"


"She's called a few times but I haven't answered."


"Is that why your phone is sitting at the bottom of the fish tank over there?"


"That was an accident."


"Mmmhmm. Sure.'Accident.'"


"It was. I was standing by the fish tank and it slipped out of my hand and fell inside... or I dropped it in, the last time Frankie called. One of the two. I can't remember which now."


"You're going to have to deal with her eventually, you can't keep avoiding her forever."


"Who can't cause so far it's been working out fairly well."


Then, if by cue, there was a knock at my door. Slowly rising to my feet, I walked over to it and pulled the door open. Revealing Frankie Styles.





"You dyed your hair."


It was stupid, being that it was the first thing that came out of my mouth, especially after not speaking to her for days but it was the only thing my brain allowed to emerge from my mouth.


"Yeah, I did. And you're alive. Funny after ghosting me so long, I woulda swore you were a specter on the other side by now."


"I'm sorry about that."


A lie.


"I've just been busy. Work, wrestling and the holidays, quite the lethal combination."


"I bet."


Pause.


"Look can we talk?"


"Uh, yeah. Sure. Come in."


Frankie walked in, purposefully brushing past me. I can feel the annoyance radiating off of her. She noticed Ezra sitting in my kitchen right away and acknowledges him with a quick grin and an awkward wave. He doesn't dismiss this gesture and rose from his chair, smiling. Approaching her in a friendly manner, he gave her a hug. She returned the act. Still it ended swiftly. Neither really knowing how to address the other in this odd set of circumstances. Clearly Frankie was hoping to find me home, by myself. Alone. Ezra has always been able to pick up on these sorts of things, so before she said anything he stated.


"Well, I better be off. I've got a busy day ahead of me. Computers don't program themselves. It's nice seeing you though, Frankie. Even if it was only for like... a second."


Laughing he strolled past her and headed my way, slipping through the door that I haven't managed to close yet. He shot me a glance and in that moment, it told me more than a thousand words could ever utter. The message is simplistic. Handle your shit, dumbass. I merely nod in recognition and he took his leave. From there, I shut the door and turned to Frankie. Walking up to her, my mind a blank slate. Yet also reeling. How do I "handle" this "shit"?


"You're going to say we shouldn't see each other anymore."


How the fuck did she know that?


"I can tell. Thought you should say it to my face though. If you can. Rather than avoiding me and pretending to be 'busy'."


She does over exaggerated air quotes and I slightly snicker. It's a nervous laugh. I don't want to end this.... whatever you want to call it, but I have to. Right? That's the appropriate course of action to take, isn't it? Considering everything.


"I haven't been pretending to be 'busy.'"


Air quotes given in the same manner that Frankie dished them out, She realizes the mockery right away, and smirks.


"Bullshit."


"It's not..."


Sigh.


"Okay maybe slightly it is but there's a good reason behind it."


"Zane threatened you, then you guys made up and now you feel guilty. Even more guilty than before."


"Yeah, that's surprisingly accurate. How did you know that's what happened?"


"Because that's precisely what I'm feeling, doofus. Also Zane and I made up last week. We aren't together but we aren't enemies either. You would have known this if you would have just answered my calls."


"What the fuck?!?! Last week??? Why didn't he tell me that?!?!"


"Because I told him not to. Cause I wanted to tell you, myself. He says he just wants me to be happy and I said there was only one thing that could make that happen."


"What's that?"


"You. Stupid."


"Oh...."


"But obviously you don't feel the same way... so could you at least break this 'thing' that we have going on, off in person? Face to face? Like a grown ass man and not a small child?"


I didn't know what to say and yet, words tumbled forth from my mouth. They were honest and I felt like I was in an episode of a cheesy chick drama on the CW, still they came out. Uncontrollably.


"That's the thing. I don't want to end this. I really like you and this feels right. I never thought I'd feel like this about anyone after Abigail and yet, here you are, making the exact opposite occur. I never expected this to happen and it makes me feel powerless in it's wake. You make me feel powerless. Even now, there's only one thing that I want to do when I'm with you. And it is overwhelming."


"What's that?"


"This."


That's when I kissed her, deeply kissed her. The kiss was long and fueled primarily by passion. I used it to relay all the words that my brain didn't permit me to say but my heart pledged until my last breath. It was then I knew that I loved her and it was the start of our relationship. Our real relationship. The next day, Frankie Styles became Frankie Styles-Blackwater. It was a short ceremony and she moved in soon after. Haha! I bet no one saw that coming. How's that for being random, Noah? Fuckin' chode.





"Hello XWF. Happy holidays and such."


"Tomorrow, I get to face... Jim Jimson. What's up Jimmy? Your name is terrible! The worst name I've ever heard. Seriously, this is the only name that I can compare it to in likeness."





"Hey, we can't pick our names but we sure as shit can change them when they're lame as fuck. I would know and no, you may never learn what my original name used to be. Just understand that it was awful and needed to go. Anyways, other than that, I have zero complaints about you. You might feel differently, most do cause when you wake up everyday, you look like you, and I'm the image of perfection. I'm like a Greek god, adrift in the sea of goblins and lepers. You all look on with your pox scars and your eyes gleam like emeralds with jealousy. Don't be jealous, Jimmy! Just take care of your appearance and smell. Instead of washing with manure, use soap and actually comb your hair. Shave once and awhile and change your clothes. Clothes that you purchase from a store and don't find soaking in piss in the gutter. If it's a money issue, they do have thrift stores out there. These things matter and sure they won't suddenly transform you into an Adonis; like moi, but they will help. Instead of people throwing change into your cup of coffee while you sit and doze off in front of the main XWF building. In order to sleep off the hangover you acquired from the night before, gifted to you from an evening of 40oz of malt liquor, someone might talk to you like a human. A human, opposed to being a goon. Now, wouldn't that be nice?"


"Whatever. Do as you like. Live as the Toxic Avenger. It's your life, not mine. I'm simply giving out free advice."


"On to the next topic. Our match."


"For some bizarre reason Atticus, made this an ugly sweater match. Everyday that man makes more and more decisions that are questionable. I'm starting to think his mind might be slipping. Needs some ginkgo biloba or something. Or it might be time that the old fella gets put in a home for elderly folks. No shame in admitting you need help. He is only human, after all. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But humans are weaker than say... a half human/half alien hybrid. Just sayin'. You guys tend to break or become dysfunctional for various reasons and there's no reason to feel bad about it. You must accept it and only with that acceptance can you find true happiness. Real peace of mind. Like accepting defeat. Which is ultimately what someone in this fight between us will have to do. However, in a fight between me and you.... come on. Is that really a serious question? You know, denial is only a river in Egypt. Once again, I'm just sayin'. When you stop lying to yourself, you grow as a person."


"Don't be a pathetic, broken brain bastard, like Noah Jackson. That guy is such a twat, he's practically a walking ad for Tampax or Midol. Says he's sick and then acts like he's trying out for a role on the revamp of Dawson's Creek. I think he oughta track down James Van Der Beek and do a paternity test. Pretty sure he'll find his real dad, opposed to Fuzz... his pretend incestuous lover. Can't wait till Vita cheats on him with Ruby and Socio combined... like that'll be a shock and he slits his wrists like the teen drama queen that he is. Hey, Noah. 13 Reasons Why called, they want their scripts back. Fuck. Lets just call the minge Hannah Baker from now on."


"Anyway, it seems I've strayed off course and that's probably due to the fact that I'm high and I really honestly don't give a toss about this fight. Sorry, not sorry. See you in the ring tomorrow Jimson. May the best man or troll win. Kiss kiss. Chow."

Donovan Blackwater
Former 1x...