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Shawn Warstein · (12-19-2019)

Fuzz and Noah are seen walking down the street, wearing the sickest of shirts.

Fuzz: That’s right ladies and Gentlemen, these shirts are totally not made in Chinese Sweatshops, and they are made of the finest materials that $10 can afford….

Fuzz stops in the middle of the sentence.

Fuzz: Wait… is that Ten per shirt or for the whole line?

Noah looks up with a confused look on his face, and shrugs.

Noah: Oi Cunt, I don’t know. All I know is that the checks hit my bank account at the end of the month and it’s far more than ten dollars, so it’s a win in my book.

Fuzz: Yeah… Wait. Where’s my cut?

Noah begins to whistle and walk away from Fuzz. Fuzz rushes up to Noah and spins him around.

Fuzz: Seriously… We are a team.

Noah: Yeah sure we are. Which one of us went ahead and got themselves a singles title first? Which one of us embarrassed Big D first? Which one of us hid in a glorified crack house for months leaving the other to fend for themselves? Which one of us won Lethal Lottery leaving the other behind? Seriously the only thing keeping you here is the fact that you’re my DAD.

Fuzz: Well… I didn’t think you thought like that.

Fuzz takes a deep breath, and is for the first time in a long time, at a loss for words.

Noah: Messing with you cunt. Seriously, without you stepping up and winning, I wouldn’t have gotten my opportunities. With you on the marquee they have to put me in an advantageous situation. We got to this point together, and there isn’t anyone or anything that can stop us now.

Fuzz takes a moment for himself and composes himself.

Fuzz: I’m right there with you SON…

Noah almost trips over himself and begins to frantically jump up and down with pure glee.

Noah: Wait… did you just call… Oh my god… Hold on Selfie….

Noah whips out his phone and quickly snaps a picture. It’s blurry and Fuzz isn’t even in focus, but Noah is grinning from ear to ear.

Noah: I’ve got to send this to Vita, she’s not going to believe this. I’ll cherish this photo for the rest of my life… You called me SON, and you can’t take it back now.

They both continue down the street, when the approach the building they had set out for. The building is nondescript and is a bit dilapidated. Fuzz opens the door and Noah hesitantly walks inside. There is a single light bulb shining in the middle of the room swaying back and forth.

Noah: Where the fuck are were? Is this a Blackwater promo?

Suddenly a manish figure begins to shuffle from the back. A loud groan is heard, and some snarling.

BBBBBRRRRRAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS

The figure begins to get closer, as Noah takes a few steps towards it.

Noah: AHHH FUCK it’s a Zane Promo! No Cunt… I ain’t doing no Night Of The Living Dead shit today.

The man gets closer to Noah as he takes a fighting stance. Noah looks like Daniel San from the Karate Kid. Noah’s in a full Crane Position, when the man shuffles right past Noah and heads towards Fuzz.

I SAID BBBBBBRRRRAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSS.

Fuzz can’t hold back laughing, as Noah gets visibly upset. He rushes the man and shoves him to the ground. Fuzz runs up and pulls Noah off of the man, shoving him aside.

Noah: I’ll show you no brains you CUNT!

Fuzz: Just chill Noah, there must be some sort of misunderstanding. Let’s just ask him what he’s looking for.

Fuzz helps the man up to his feet, and just as he stands up the light finally shines upon his face. He vaguely resembles a Blackwater.

Noah: No Cunt… Not a Blackwater Zane combo Promo! Not today on this holiest of days.

Fuzz shoots Noah a confused expression on his face.

Noah: You called me Son…. Fuck Christmas.

Fuzz rolls his eyes, and turns his attention to the Man.

Fuzz: Are you who we are supposed to see?

Man: I am the rarlely seen fourth Blackwater….

Noah: And what’s you lame power?

Man: I’m actually good at what I do… There’s a reason I don’t cavort with them…

Fuzz: So you’re a Blackwater?

Man: Nope… I’m a Zombie who eats brains… Except for yours.

He says as he points to Noah.

Noah: Fuck Off.

Fuzz: What the holy hell is going on here?

Noah: I get it….

Fuzz: Then please, share for the rest of the class….

Noah: It’s an identity crisis… The Blackwaters don’t know which way is up. Zane is the only Cuck Cunt Zombie I’ve ever seen, and we have to free them of this mortal realm… or some shit like that.

Fuzz: But Noah… How can we do that, we are just mere men. Sure men with more accolades then either of them combined… This year alone. But what tools do we possibly have in our arsenal to take out such a formidable team?

Noah: I’m glad you asked Cunt. With These..

Noah turns around and pulls out...

[Image: NR7SW1h.png]

Noah: That’s Right Cunts and Cunt-etts. Sick Cunt-O’s. They will not only get you sick…

Fuzz: Not this again.

Noah: You’re right DAD. After many trials and still no FDA approval, we have found that the Sick Cunt-O’s are just what you need when you are… come on DAD say the line…

Fuzz lets out a very deep sigh.

Fuzz: Going up against the uber boring, or the somehow reanimated undead, Sick Cunt-O’s will give you the power to see through the bullshit of a Zombie… of the cloud of smoke that always appears whenever the Blackwaters appear. Just one spoonful and you’ll have the power to win the Lethal Lottery, Like me. Fuzz.

Fuzz shakes his head, as Noah pours the cereal over the man’s head as the camera quickly fades.

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