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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Lethal Lottery V RP Board
The Banana-Lime Blur
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Ruby Offline
The Super Dear'o



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#1
11-23-2019, 09:30 AM

From Ruby’s GoPro…

Ruby: “Here we are again! Little holiday to Monte Carlo, thanks Centurion you’re a proper trooper. And after having obliterated the slot machines it’s time to call it a night. Gambling is fun, but do it in moderation, people!”

Ruby sat in her hotel room, lying on the bed, sipping on a room service-ordered tequila sunrise.

Ruby: “I know what you’re thinking, but let me anticipate on that. It is not illegal to have a drink called sunrise at 2AM in the morning! Especially if I have a few more and stretch this thing out! I’d even argue that it’s not even remotely as bad as people ordering a cappuccino at five PM! It’s a breakfast coffee, folks! Don’t do that stuff in Italy or they’ll send the Cosa Nostra after you for having offended them and their families. But ere I digress and start telling you the story about how I once stopped a couple of mobsters from sending a guy with his feet in poured concrete down to the bottom of a lake, let me tell you another story instead. One with a bit more relevance, eh? How else am I going to rack up those relevancy points and keep you guys ‘n gals watching?

“Let me tell you the story of the Lethal Lottery. The story of Ruby and Vita Flippin’ Valenteen. One was a superhero gone generic. The other barely of legal age. But both women possessed fire. And both women had talent. Anyone denying that would be, pardon my French here for a sec, a flippin’ fool! Both shared a lot of similarities. Coming into the XWF with relatively low expectations. Playing on football teams that had anything but decent outfits. Both kept somewhat questionable company, although I’ve left that stage of my life behind, luckily. And most importantly, both girls were very eager to prove themselves in a world so obviously dominated by men.

“See, XWF is lagging a few years behind when it comes to the women’s revolution in the modern wrestling landscape. In a lot of companies, there has been an explosion in the number of females on the roster. Some are serious athletes, some are just models looking for a quick buck and a few Twitter likes before being found out. You’d be hard pressed to find a company with its own women’s division these days, and even then it’d probably be a place that gets accusations of sexism flung at its head. But the XWF seems different. Sure, there’s no bombshell division anymore, but the women on this roster are heavily outnumbered. And that’s even after good ‘ole Lackerssnackers and little old me showed up! It’s nice to see a couple more female faces popping up as of late. Atara Themis. Geri the girl with the questionable smoking habits. The rise of the 5’2 Mafia, and even Bobbi London! And guess what? We’re breaking the mould.

“I’m not sure how much Vita cares about all of this, to be honest, but I do. Because I am old enough to remember a time when things were different. And in a way, I’m proud of Vita for doing as well as she has been these past few, well months really. Sure, she still has a lot of maturing to do. A bit less of the childish antics, and a bit less of the questionable company she keeps would go a long, long way. She has potential, my guys. Which is why I find it frustrating that she’s so fixed on that fake Anarchy title of hers when, if only she would screw her head on straight, she could be out there competing for real Universal titles in due time! I would also like to point out that I used the word ‘screw’ in its one and only appropriate form there.”

Ruby winked and put her glass to the side.

Ruby: “But really, I’m glad I get the chance to be in this Lethal Lottery alongside her. And let’s take a look at who we’re facing. THZA BIG SHAAAANK! What a name, my guy. Not gonna lie, I was hoping you’d get paired up with Gilly just so you dudes could pair up as ‘The Big Shaft’, but unfortunately my former taggie crashed out in the former round! But not to worry, bud, your own streak is alive and well, as far as the Lethal Lottery is concerned. And you teaming up with Fuzzywuzzy should be something to behold. Speaking of Fuzz, thanks for the support, my guy! Really digging the whole ‘Ruby’s wholesome’ rhetoric you’ve been spreading. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a tiny bit surprised you don’t dislike me more than you seem to be doing, but I’ll take it. Just wish you’d be a bit nicer to other folks, but a man’s gotta start somewhere, eh? I’m not surprised the pair of you made it this far. I know, I know, this isn’t much of a ‘trash talk’, but let’s leave the actual trash for my Trash Panda match at the Pay Per View. That’s another matter entirely though. Not gonna go into that here.”

Ruby rolled her eyes at the thought of her double duty match for the Anarchy Championship. But she shook her head, banishing those thoughts to the back of her head for now.

Ruby: “Anyway, the other broskis in that ring are my taggie from last week Mastermind and AMjetkun Socio! Quite the …odd… pair the two of you make. I guess you’re both… tall? So, at least that’s impressive? Don’t get me wrong here, the double M pulled his weight last week. But you’re going to have to be asking yourself a few different questions for this match, my guy. Like, ‘am I not the weakest link in this match?’ “Am I not the man everybody’s gonna try to pin?’ Let a journalist figure out those questions, before you try and master our minds. Because, since you like facts so much, here are a few of them… I read message boards. Fan forums. Twitter. And it’s kinda clear that people believe we only won because Tony Santos underperformed and Hair’Office BoxBrain just isn’t very good. At all. So, yikes?”

Ruby shrugged.

Ruby: “But hey, at least you manage to form somewhat coherent sentences. The same can’t be said for the, let’s call him a ‘man’, you’re saddled up with. A guy who lives his life in ALL CAPS, because well, why exactly IS that? Does he think his points become actually valid? Does he think it raises his credibility? Does he think that it makes him more intimidating? Does he think that suddenly every word that comes out of his mouth is no longer absolute gobbledygook? Because all he does is manage to look like one of those weird triggered people on social media who nobody takes seriously, screaming nonsense into a void. He’s one of those people for whom you wish you had a mute button in real life. But unfortunately, being in this match also means being subjected to the gross nonsense that is his promotional material. I don’t know who comes up with those idea’s, but if your idea of being funny or interesting is ‘add more poop and shout more!’ then congratulations, you’re in Razzie territory, or whatever the wrestling equivalent of that is. It’s not that hard. For instance, I could mention how a guy who takes as much roids as you do probably doesn’t do it to get huge muscles, but just needs an excuse for his micro penis. See? Easy. Of course, I’d never say that. But you DO look like one of those dudes who likes to shift blame and never take responsibility. You guys really come a dime a dozen, eh? But seriously, stop the juicing, bro. See me doing that stuff? If I did, I’d probably look a little something, like,… Well, this…”

She showed the image on her phone, accompanying it with a look of disgust.


Ruby: “Not a good look. For anyone. See, the-…”

Ruby was interrupted by a loud beeping sound that instantly drew her attention. The Tiny Canadian frowned with worry and immediately seemed to want to end her little vlog.

Ruby: “Woops. Emergency, friendos. Gonna have to sign off. As always, I’ve been Ruby. Keep on the straight and narrow! One love!”

Ruby winked and cut the broadcast off.

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Ruby ran over to her bag. She’d recognize that sound from anywhere. Back in her vigilante days, she had a nifty little instrument that warned her of any catastrophes. She’d had it made by an old friend from Boulder. Using clever algorithms and data collection, it could warn her of anything she needed to know or was in her power to stop. It had been very silent as of late, and despite having hung up her mask, she still took it with her out of habit. She hadn’t in the Bahama’s, and that hadn’t exactly turned out well.

She took out the instrument, which looked like a pretty standard tablet (it basically was). She unlocked the screen, and her eyes were instantly met with news articles, video feeds, and security footage. She scratched her head, not knowing what to make of it, until her eyes widened. She recognized that face…

Ruby: “…Vita?”

She saw the words flash across the screen.

Ruby: “…The Pink Mist? What’s…”

She kept reviewing the video footage. She saw Vita violently beating up crooks and criminals, and Ruby’s penny finally dropped. She remembered Vita’s tweet.



She slapped herself on the forehead! She was being SERIOUS?? She might’ve known. Ruby shook her head. This was her fault. She’d ignored her at the time, thinking it was just another one of Vita’s childish bits. After the whole fake Anarchy title thing only seemed to get worse the more Sarah had berated her over it, Ruby had deemed it best not to engage in such silliness at all. But she had underestimated Vita’s enthusiasm, apparently.

Ruby started pacing the room. She couldn’t let her go on with this. It’d be hypocritical to say that Vita wasn’t allowed to dress up and catch bad guys. After all, that’s what she herself had been doing for months if not years. But clearly she wasn’t going about it the right way. And whatever this was, a call for attention or a genuine calling, Ruby felt a responsibility. Towards Vita, herself and the people. She sighed, and looked at her own image in the mirror. She had to get through to her. Her copycat act was going to get her into trouble, and more people could get hurt.


Yeah, she couldn’t stay here any longer. She had to catch the very first plane back. It was slightly rude to Centurion who had spared no expense to take her along on this trip with him and his friends, but the whole reason he liked her was because she set a decent example, right? He’d understand. Duty called. She sent him a quick text.

Quote:”Hey there, bud. You may find my quarters empty when you wake up. Not to worry, I haven’t been kidnapped, so you can nurse your hangover in peace. Told you to drink more water! In any case, there’s some codeine in your bathroom cabinet. But yeah, I have to go. Duty calls. I’m not really sure what I gotta do here, but it seems like there’s somebody back home who needs me.

Ruby scratched her head as she looked t the message. Could she get through to her, though? Really get through to her? After all, who was she to speak with any kind of moral high ground on the matter? Besides, she’d ditched her old costume. Winning the Anarchy title had made her realize that she just might be worthy to retain her colors, but somehow it didn’t feel right. After all, Lethal Lottery was just around the corner. Beating Lacklan was one thing, keeping her down was another. And if Vita got in trouble, or got badly hurt, they might as well not show up for their triple threat tag match. She was at a turning point in her XWF career. It was all or nothing. And there was one final test ahead. But she wasn’t planning on taking a double L.

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Ruby raced across the rooftops. Oh boy, had she missed this. The feeling of exhilaration. The absolute sense of freedom. Like the world had no barriers, no limits. All that existed was her, and the sensation of impending justice. She dashed and leapt, until she finally landed with both feet on the top of the ACME Warehouse, where her scanner had led her to. She rolled through for good measure, easing the impact on her knees, and she peered through the skylight. All she saw were broken bodies strewn throughout the hallways. Ruby sighed. She hoped she wasn’t too late.

She jumped through the skylight, crashing the glass whilst reminding herself to send a check to cover the costs, landing squarely on her feet. She looked at the bodies. They were all of them wearing guard uniforms, with bulletproof vests and other security gear. At least their chests were still going up and down, indicating signs of life. But not all of them. She knelt near another body, placing a finger on the side of their throat and breathed a sigh of relief. That was a pulse. She looked away, but the guy she was kneeling besides suddenly jumped to life with a shriek of fear and agony.

?: “GAH!”

He saw Ruby’s face and started crawling away, but Ruby quickly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and looked the man in the eye.

Ruby: “Hey there, calm down, my guy! I’m not here to hurt you! Where’s Vita?”

?: “V-v-v-v-Vita?”

Ruby: “Yeah, Vita! Vita Flippin’ Valenteen! Or maybe you know as The Pink Mist?”

The guy shook his head ferociously.

?: “Wasn’t the Pink Mist that did this, ma’am. It was The Finch! The Finch! He damn near killed us. I think I ruptured my spleen! It hurts so much! Fu-!”

Ruby: “Hush now.”

Ruby quickly placed her hand on his mouth to stop him from completing that last word.

Ruby: “You’re lucky to be alive, don’t make me wash out your mouth with soap. Where is he now?”

The man nodded towards the stairs that, according to the signs, led to the main hall.

Ruby: “Thanks, bud. Hang in there. I’m gonna go see whassup.”

Ruby sprinted towards the stairs, jumping down them, albeit in orderly fashion, and started hearing voices.

The Finch: “… because that’s what it takes if you want to clean these streets, also he was boring me with his rhetoric!”


Ruby saw them! Vita and the guy who called himself The Finch. Judging by the bloody mess at their feet, she was already too late. What had happened here? Did Vita do that? She sure hoped not, or the young lady would have some explaining to do and then some!

The Pink Mist: “…you can’t fight evil by becoming evil! You have to set the example, be the beacon of hope for all to aspire to be like.”

Well, if THAT was Vita’s sense of justice she definitely needed to be taught a lesson or two. As Vita continued her monologue, Ruby hopped from the balustrade before things got even further out of hand, landing in between the Finch and Vita. The former wanted to react to her appearance, but he was too slow. A punch to the throat, and another to the temple. Nighty-night! She looked at Vita.

Ruby: “You really should start heeding your own advice, bud!”

She reached into her back pocket, and drew it over her forehead, snapping the mask into place.

Ruby: ”Take it from someone who knows.”

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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (11-23-2019), Atara Raven (11-23-2019), Centurion (11-23-2019), Corey Smith (11-23-2019), Theo Pryce (11-23-2019), Thunder Knuckles™ (11-23-2019), Vita Frickin Valenteen (11-23-2019)




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