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Saturday Night SPOOKS 11/2/19
Author Message
Atticus Gold Offline
Gold is the New Black
Management Lv. 2



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
11-03-2019, 08:58 AM

OOC: Two matches have been made match summaries, partially due to me getting screwed over with a match. I am really sorry for this but I didn't want results to be any later so we can move on with Round 2. I may go back and write real matches just to give the RPers the matches they deserve. Once again, I'm sorry and I hope you enjoy the show nonetheless. Thank you.


LETHAL LOTTERY ROUND 2 DRAW VIDEO AT THE END OF THE SHOW!


[Image: ZmwbiMP.png]



LIVE FROM THE BALLROOM OF TIMBERLINE LODGE

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MOUNT HOOD, OREGON


FIRST ROUND OF LETHAL LOTTERY


Mercy
- vs -
Count Dracula
- vs -
Atari Themis
- vs -
Brian Lance
Blood Bath Match
One Fall
All weapons and moves are legal
When a competitor is bleeding, only then are they eligible to be pinned or submitted




Boris & Scully
- vs -
Fuzz & Big D
Razorblade in an Apple Match
Torndao Tag Rules
Weapons will litter the outside
Some weapons will work as expected
Others will not, either endagering the person wielding it, being made of licorice etc.




Kris "The Hammer" Van Bonn & Big Shank
- vs -
Luca Arzegotti & Tommy Wish
Buried Alive Match
Elimination Tornado Tag Rules
Match takes place outside
First team to bury the other in pre-dug graves wins
If one teammate is buried before the other, he could still win by burying the opposing team




Hanari Carnes
- vs -
Zane Norrison
Día de los Muertos Partido
Lit candles will cover the apron
Large Candy Skulls will hang above the ring
The Candy Skulls can be smashed to retreive a weapon
Winner determined by Pinfall, Submission or KO




"Box Office" Brian O’Haire & Donovan Blackwater
- vs -
Rebel Star & Jake Avery
Eldritch Horror Match
Elimination Tornado Tag Rules
Hundreds of horrifying tentacles have spawned underneath the ring
Anyone unlucky enough to be thrown to the outside will be eliminated




Centurion
- vs -
Melanie Crazee Childs
Candy Corn Deathmatch
A deathmatch but all weapons have been replaced with candy
The ropes will be replaced with Twizzlers




Noah Jackson & Liam Roberts
- vs -
Ruby & Peter Gilmour
House of Horrors Match
Tornado Tag Rules
A cell will surround the ring
Weapons will line the cell walls
Randomly trap doors and spooky ghosts will appear dealing damage




Drezdin
- vs -
Shane
Dead or Alive Match
I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
And I'm wanted (wanted)
Dead or aliiiiiiive!
No one knows how this match is won or what it even is and as we all know the spookiest thing is the fear of the unknown.




"Vicious" Vita Valenteen & Amjetkun Socio
- vs -
"The" Tristan Slater & Jim Jimson
Exorcism Match
Standard Tag Rules
So someone released a demon! Oops!
At random a competitor will be taken control of by the demon and recieve supernatural strength and powers




Mastermind & Tony Santos
- vs -
Thunder Knuckles & Sebastian Duke
Graveyard Smash Lumberjack Match
Tornado Tag Match
The dead have risen and luckily can't figure out how to get into the ring
Zombies surround the ring, anyone thrown to the outside must survive the horde of undead
Inside the ring, someone must win by pinfall or submission so the bell will toll and calm the zombies
Don't ask why that gets rid of them, it just works.




Saturday
5:18pm


The wind howls as the winter sun hangs low in the clear sky. We see Heather and Pip, in full winter gear, push open the large wooden doors to the Timberline Lodge. Once inside Pip slams the doors shut behind them and brushes off the snow in frustration from his child size one piece snowsuit. Heather removes her gloves and looks around the dim hall.

PC: "Wow. What a mansion!"

HHL: "It's a ski lodge, Pip. Jesus Christ what the hell was Atticus' plan sending us here?"

Pip shrugs standing beside Heather and admires the room.

PC: "Beats me, that old shit is losing his marbles."

HHL: "Honestly, this is why I prefer Warfare. We get to travel, see the world. Savage? Dusty old ski lodge on top of a freaking ice cold mountain."

Pip laughs as the two push forward and open the doors to the ballroom. To their surprise the ring has been set up, along with bleachers and lighting hanging from the ceiling connected to the large chandelier above the ring. Even a smaller X-Tron and ramp have been made. Pip gives an impressed whistle.

PC: "Not too shabby."

HHL: "Yeah, just need some darn heating and it'll be pretty cozy."

TODD: "Erm, Heather, Pip?"

The two commentators turn to Todd Moschitti, head of production. He holds his beanie in his hands with a worried expression on his face.

HHL: "Hey, Todd. Set looks great, any idea when the roster and crowd will arrive."

TODD: "Everyone should arrive in a couple of hours but here's the weird thing. The whole set was ready to go before me and the crew got here."

Thunder rumbles outside.

PC: "Great! Less work for us. I'm gonna set up my notes."

Pip leaves as Heather folds her arms and looks to Todd.

HHL: "Mr. Black probably sent a crew up here earlier to set up. Can you imagine all the trucks tryna make their way up that mountain pass when it's getting dark?"

TODD: "I suppose. It's still weird he never said anything."

HHL: "Oh quit being a baby."

PC: "Yeah stop being a bitch, Todd! And get another chair for the commentary table, we only have the one."

TODD: "Yeah, okay."

Todd walks away in a sulk, Heather shouts after him.

HHL: "And go find the rest of the dang crew, like a ghost town in here."

Todd give a thumbs up as he leaves the ballroom. Heather rolls her eyes as she walks over to the table with Pip sat adjusting his notes.

PC: "Huh, weird."

HHL: "What's up?"

PC: "All my note have 'GET OUT' written in blood on them."

Pip raises the notes for Heather to inspect.

HHL: "That your ex-wife's handiwork?"

PC: "Possibly, but that bitch told me to get out years ago."

Heather sympathetically rubs Pip's shoulder but they are starled by a noise.

6

6

6


The pair look around as the sound echoes through the room.

HHL: "The fuck is going on?"

PC: "Probably the wind-AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHGHGHGHGGHGH!!!!"

Pip's sentence is cut short as a blade pierces through his chest and slowly raises him off the ground. Blood splatters against Heather's face as she looks terrified but no noise comes from her mouth.

Pip dangles in the air, blood spluttering from his lips as UNKNOWN SOLDIER drinks the blood falling down onto his pale face, his eye turn from bright white to diallated pupils as they snap on Heather.

Soldier: "I'm gonna make you my cum dumpster, slut!"

Heather lets out a shrill scream as she begins to run. Solder laughs maniacally throwing the broken corpse of Pip aside as he gives chase.

Heather bursts out of the room into the hall, screaming for help all the while. Only Soldier's eerie voice chasing her as his form vanishes into the darkness.

6

6

6


Heather begins to cry as she forces her way through door after door only to land herself in the same hallway, blood pouring from the decaying walls.

She breaks down in tears, her fram falling to the ground as laughter is heard throughout the lodge.

*DING*

Heather's eyes light up as the sound of an elevator landing on her floor pings off. She frantically taps the button to open the elevator doors as she turns seeing Unknown Soldier spider crawling down the hall at frightening speeds.

Heather sobs as the elevator doors slowly open...

[Image: 3709c5bcfc873c27978496ac18b87ee8]

Blood pours from the doors as Heather is soaked in the thick, red liquid that carries her away. She vomits and splutter the regurgitaed blood as she lays down on the floor sobbing uncontolably. Then, the elevate bell rings again and the doors slide open. Soldier leaning against the wall inside, a menacing grin on his face as he is covered head to toe in blood.

Soldier: "Oops! Should have worn a tampon!"

Soldier lunges as Heather screams in terror.

HHL: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"



Saturday
8:30pm
Savage will start in 30 minutes


After a lengthy, cramped and tense bus journey. Atticus Black and the roster of XWF talent arrive at the lodge. The wrestlers for tonight's show head towards the areas marked for changing as Atticus goes into the ballroom to examine the set. Everything is perfect to him.

He smiles widely removing his gloves and goes to the commentator's booth where Unknown Soldier stands to meet him. With a surprised laugh Atticus goes to shake his hand.

ATTICUS BLACK: "Unknown Soldier! What a shock, didn't expect to see you here tonight."

Soldier with a grin shakes the Savage GM's hand.

Soldier: "I'll be running commentary tonight, Heather and Pip were... Indisposed."

Soldier builds to a devilish laugh. Atticus just keeps smiling.

ATTICUS BLACK: "Why that's not ominous in the slightest! It's great to have the Universal Champion here on Savage. I know you'll be wonderful."

Soldier: "Oh yes, tonight will be a BANG for sure."

Soldier says with a thrust. Atticus pats his shoulder and looks around at the empty bleachers.

ATTICUS BLACK: "Oh my, I sure hope the fans get here before the show starts."

Soldier: "Have no fear, Atticus, with the power of SATAN! I'll muster the most blood-hungry fans you can imagine!"

Atticus seems overjoyed until Soldier's eyes turn blindingly light, a wind blows his hair back as he chants in some foul, long-forgotten language. The bleachers set alight as demons and damned souls reach up and sit themselves down accompanined with the sounds of endless agony. After several minutes the bleachers are full and they roar.

LET'S GO SAVAGE! LET'S GO!

Along with claps, all in sync. Atticus chuckles.

ATTICUS BLACK: "Wonderful! A full house too, ticket sales are going to be great."

Soldier tugs at his collar.

ATTICUS BLACK: "Fantastic work Soldier, happy to have you here. I'll find Todd and we'll get this show rolling!"

And with that, the camera focuses in on Soldier's twisted face as we fade to our first commercial.



Mercy
- vs -
Count Dracula
- vs -
Atari Themis
- vs -
Brian Lance
Blood Bath Match
One Fall
All weapons and moves are legal
When a competitor is bleeding, only then are they eligible to be pinned or submitted




The words "They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21 you're no fun...." appear in dark red letters on the 'tron before cutting into Seventeen by Ladytron. The Tron comes alive with graphic shots of plastic surgery interspersed with shots of blood dripping on a bright white surface. Mercy appears at the top of the ramp, walking slowly and with a purpose towards the ring, where she slides under the bottom rope. She is already wearing the bladed gloves from her promos.

Soldier: It wouldn't be kicking off this special Halloween Savage without....this. Pretty hot if you ask me, I'd hit it 666 times!



Newcomer Atara starts making her way towards the ring, but doesn't seem all too eager to get in the ring with Mercy. She opts to stay on the outside, even though the ref is beckoning her in.

Soldier: Ohhhh....new girl doesn't want any of that.



The arena goes black and "Bloody Regrets" by Boondox plays on the PA. After a few seconds of darkness flames shoot up from the ring posts and the lights come back on revealing Brian Lance standing in the center of the ring with Taco. He grins as he raises Taco above his head. He then walks to his corner and sets Taco on the apron of the ring.

Soldier: Well, that leaves one left. Are we gonna see THE Dracula?



Lightning surges throughout the arena as a thunder storm breaks out and soaks the audience. A large bat with glowing eyes flutters from the entranceway and finds its way to the ring where it is consumed by a cloud of smoke. Seconds later, Dracula is standing where the bat once was! The lightning and thunder storm continues throughout the entire match.

Soldeir: Yes! HAHAHAHA!

Mercy and Brian both consider Dracula strangely as Atara looks on from ringside. The bell rings and things get under way! Mercy and Brian immediately head for the vampire, but he suddenly turns into a mist! On the outside, Atara goes for something underneath the ring and pulls out a lead pipe wrapped in barbed wire! She looks at it somewhat distastefully but keeps it.

Dracula seems to have vanished, leaving Brian and Mercy in the ring together. Brian swings Taco at Mercy, smashing her on the shoulder. Mercy wavers a bit but then fights back, kicking Brian in the chest and dropping him to the mat. Mercy swipes low with her claws and Brian narrowly rolls out of the way and into a corner. He and Mercy clash again, with Brian going for another swing but Mercy catching the weapon in her hand! She goes to pull it from Brian, but Brian holds fast and instead pulls Mercy back towards him where he catches her with a knee strike to the chest. Finally, Atara rolls into the ring and clubs Mercy in the back with her weapon, drawing blood!

Soldier: There's that sweet, sweet red stuff! Maybe this girl's a fighter after all. And she seems like Gilly's type to boot.

But, no sooner does that happen than does Dracula appear behind Atara! Shes caught completely unaware and he starts feasting on her blood, biting deep down into her neck! Atara hollers in pain, but she is now officially bleeding!

Brian capitalizes on the distraction by sneaking up behind Mercy and dropping her with a Russian Leg sweep aided by Taco. He covers!

1....













2....KICKOUT from Mercy!

Mercy replies by headbutting Brian in the forehead with her metal mask, but surprisingly it doesn't bust him open! She tosses him off of her.

Meanwhile, Atara is trying to fight back against Dracula, and she finally manages to get her arms back around his neck and counter his bite with a jaw breaker! But she's bleeding freely from her neck and looks a bit woozy. Dracula crawls to the corner and Mercy eyes him now. She reaches inside her vicious glove and pulls out a synringe, which she attacks Dracula with!

Soldier: She said she wanted some of his blood, now she's got it. Kinky.

Mercy goes to plunge the weapon into Dracula's chest, but he catches her arm and fights her off, wrapping a hand around her neck and drilling her with a ring shuddering chokeslam!

Soldier: Not bad for a guy who's like 500 years old!

Brian's eyes go wide when he sees Mercy felled, but then he shrugs and lunges at Dracula with Taco, furiously peppering him wiith shots from the singapore cane. Dracula fights through the flurry of blows though and throws Brian across the ring, smashing him into the far turnbuckle. Brian crumples and Dracula steps towards him, only to get ambushed by Mercy from behind! She leaps on his back and plunges the needle into his neck, withdrawing some of his blood! Then, she hops off of him and injects the blood into her own neck!

Soldier: Hope he didn't have C.Diff!

Mercy's body shudders and Dracula wheels on her. He goes to lock up with her, but Mercy seems to have a renewed strength and she matches the vampire's own might! They struggle for a moment until Mercy gets the upper hand, kneeing Dracula in the stomach and then picking him up and drilling him with a Death Valley Driver. Dracula's skull lands on Ataras weapon, and hes now busted open too! Mercy covers the Prince of Darkness!

1....













2....














Brian Lance breaks up the count! He starts beating the hell out of Mercy with Taco! At the other end of the ring, Atara is finally rising, but she looks pale and tired, clearly having lost a lot of blood. She stumbles towards the action, spinning Brian around and lighting him up with some nasty chops, but she can't keep up the attack for long before her vision fades allowing Brian an opening to whack her right between the eyes with Taco! Atara drops and Brian covers!


1.....

















2......






















3....NO! Now Mercy breaks the count! Mercy wrenches Brian up and slashes him across the chest with her gauntlet, leaving three large bleeding gashes! Brian cries out in pain and tries to put some distance between himself and the monster, but Mercy stays on him, punching him in the head before wrapping him up with a suplex and stacking him on top of Atara. Dracula is back up now, and he heads for Mercy where they start to trade furious blows. This time, Dracula gets the advantage and he goes to bite Mercy, but Mercy dodges and slashes Dracula across the eyes!

Soldier: Uh oh! Do you think he's got sonar, like a bat? He's part bat right? Anyhow, all four of these lunatics have been busted open in some form or fashion and are eligible to lose this thing!

While blinded Dracula flails around and Mercy pulls a stake out of nowhere before driving it into Dracula's chest!

Dracula hisses in agony as blood ruptures from his chest and finally falls to ash!

The ref calls for the bell!

WINNER BY EXECUTION - MERCY!


Soldier: Fuck yes! BLOOD! MORE FUCKING BLOOD! What a way to kick off this fuckfest! HAIL SATAN!



Boris & Scully
- vs -
Fuzz & Big D
Razorblade in an Apple Match
Torndao Tag Rules
Weapons will litter the outside
Some weapons will work as expected
Others will not, either endagering the person wielding it, being made of licorice etc.




Boris dances down the ramp with that cool Russian kick dance, a bottle of vodka in one hand and evidence of rigging elections in the other as his hard bass makes the heads of everyone bop.



Suddenly the arena lights go red and "Angels Fall" by Breaking Benjamin blares out of the P.A System. After about 40 seconds The Scull Meister finally steps out on to stage, his XWF Universal Championship over his shoulder. He looks around at the XWF Galaxy in attendence and smirks. The chorus of boos fill the arena in disapproval of Skull, he shrugs it off and slowly walks down the ramp, ignoring them. He stops at the bottom of the ramp and smirks once again at the crowd. He then raises his XWF Universal Championship in the air as the boos become louder. He walks up the steps and walks along the ring apron. He turns to look at the fans whilst slowly moving both hands from his face to the floor, gesturing "A look at me" type taunt, before raising the title once again. Scully enters through the middle rope and into the ring. Skull walks over to the far turn buckle and climbs to the top. He holds his hands in the air, making sure the title is there for everyone to see and then does his "Look at me" taunt. The Scully Meister spins himself round and chills on the turnbuckle with his arms folded, his title put over his shoulder. His music fades out.



The Xtreme Champion walks down the ramp with little theatrics, just focus.



As "X-Men Theme" by Powerglove begins to play over the PA system, spotlights begin to shine all over the arena of a 'D'. After a moment, Big D walks onto the entrance ramp, TV Title around his waist. He puts his arms in the air, before heading down the aisle, focused on the ring. He then walks up the steel steps and climbs into the ring, before walking over to a corner, climbing to the second rope, and putting his arms in the air once again. After that, he hops down and waits.


Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

Off the opening bell Big D charges across the ring, launching himself through the air with a powerful shoulder block that connects with Scully and Boris and sends them both stumbling backwards into the turnbuckle. Fuzz senses an opening and climbs through the ropes, dropping to the floor outside. Big D does his best to keep Scully and Boris occupied in the corner, hammering each of them with powerful right hands to the delight of the crowd! Fuzz uses the time to search around outside the ring for a satisfactory weapon, walking past a chair and trash can lid to pick up a baseball bat near the announcers table. Fuzz looks confused for a moment as he holds the bat, then winds up and swings as hard as he can at the turnbuckle!

The bat folds around the steel ring post easily, and the fans quickly realize what’s happened… the bat is made of licorice! They laugh uproariously as Fuzz throws the candy bat to the floor in disgust and continues searching for something that could do some real damage!

SOLDIER: "Ha! Hail Satan, that was funny… I hope Fuzz realizes what sort of match this is, because that’s going to keep happening!”

Back in the ring Boris is able to catch one of Big D’s punches and spins out of the corner, keeping D’s arm tied up! Unable to defend himself and block he eats a forearm from Scully, then a boot to the gut that doubles him over! Scully and Boris look to each other before each hooking Big D’s head! Double team DDT!

Boris drapes an arm across Big D’s shoulders, the referee sliding into position to make the count!

ONE!



















TWO!

































Big D gets a shoulder up just as Fuzz gives up his search for a weapon and re-enters the ring! Scully sees Fuzz approaching and rushes to the ropes, stomping furiously at The Afterthoughts head and torso! Fuzz tries to cover up, but Scully takes a step back before rushing forward and soccer kicking Fuzz directly in the ribs!

SOLDIER: "Wooo boy! That’s what you get for coming back unarmed…”

Boris drags Big D up to his feet, but Big D falls back against the ropes and slingshots himself at Boris with a massive clothesline! Boris flips inside out and head over heels, hitting the canvas hard as Big D spins around and grabs Scully! He whips Scully into the far corner, away from Fuzz, then chases after him looking for a spear!

SOLDIER: "Scully drops to the mat and rolls underneath the bottom rope! Big D spears the ringpost!"

A loud “clang” echoes through the building as Scully finds a steel chair on the floor and picks it up… rears back… and…

CLAAAAAAAAAAA-aaaaaaaaaNG!

Scully nearly bashes Big D’s skull in! It looks like that was one of the real weapons laying around the outside! Big D slumps over the middle rope, hanging half out of the ring after that knockout shot! Fuzz looks furious and stares daggers into Scully as he holds the chair victoriously over his head and taunts the crowd! Fuzz hops over the still downed Boris and sprints to the ropes, hurling himself over the top and hurtling towards the outside!

SOLDIER: "Suicide Dive!"

The XWF Legend leads with an elbow and drives it into Scullys face, dropping him like a pile of bricks to the floor. The crowd explodes, popping to their feet at the sight of Fuzz putting his body on the line like that! Fuzz has been associated with the XWF for nearly 20 years now, and he’s still as Xtreme as ever!

Fuzz pulls himself up to his feet, face calm and expressionless as he stares down at Scully. There’s a pipe on the floor by Fuzz’s feet, and he quickly kneels to pick it up. Scully tried to force himself up to his hands and knees, but Fuzz brings the pipe crashing down hard on the back of his skull! Scully collapses, flat on the floor, and the pipe explodes in Fuzz’s hand sending a cloud of powder up into his face!

SOLDIER: "A fake pipe! That’s 666 times funnier than the fake baseball bat!”

Fuzz doesn’t seem nearly as amused with the trick weaponry as Unknown Soldier is, and he tosses the remnants of the pipe to the floor in fury before grabbing Scully by the hair and dragging him up to his feet. Fuzz walks Scully over to the ring apron and pulls his head back… OH! He bounces Scullys skull off the apron! That looked brutal! Fuzz rolls Scully back into the ring as suddenly Boris is on his feet and charging across the mats… baseball slide under the bottom rope and directly into Fuzz’s face! Boris and Fuzz collapse in a heap on the outside and Scully is in the ring with Big D just as D is climbing back to his feet!

Fuzz gets back to his feet quickly just to see Big D lunge at Scully.

SOLDIER: "DAN SLAM! WHAT A FUCKING SHIT NAME BUT FUCKING GREAT MOVE!"

Big D gives Scully the Cold Big D Truth as the Television Champ covers him.

1

























Fuzz is then blindsided by Boris as he starts to get up.




































2








































BUT FUZZ GRABS BORIS AS HE TRIES TO ENTER THE RING!





































SOLDIER: "THE AFTERTHOUGHT!!!!"





And Boris is laid out!


























































3!!!!

WINNERS VIA PINFALL - FUZZ & BIG D!


SOLDIER: "In a match with two titles on the line, this match ends with AND STILL! Great match!"



Kris "The Hammer" Van Bonn & Big Shank
- vs -
Luca Arzegotti & Tommy Wish
Buried Alive Match
Elimination Tornado Tag Rules
Match takes place outside
First team to bury the other in pre-dug graves wins
If one teammate is buried before the other, he could still win by burying the opposing team




The Big Shank walks out on to the snow, passing through the shambling crowd.



Kris Von Bonn walks up as his music echoes through the night sky. He swings a hammer into his palm as he stands next to his partner.

Soldier: "Looks cold as HELL out there. Glad I'm nice and toasty in here."



Luca pops up from the snow with a deep breath, scaring the shit out of Shank and Von Bonn as he gets to his feet between the two. He pats both of them on the back as he walks to the opposite end of the sanctioned grounds.



Tommy Wish seems like a snow-covered gargoyle at first as he hops off a marble feature in the back and lands next to Luca. The pair do a sweet low five handshake.

Soldier: "Buried alive tag match. What shit is that? The real race is to bury them in the dirt before Crimson Dong shows up and shows how this match is meant to be won."

MATCH SUMMARY

What started off as an even struggle between both teams quickly turned into a blood bath. Kris utilising his hammer to bloody Wish who seemed to be fuel by the attacks from the weapon, fought back tooth and nail in retaliation breaking Von Bonn's nose and jaw with vicious strikes and slamming The Hammer into walls before following up with sickening boots to the chops. Meanwhile, Luca and Shank showed veteran prowess both using mind games to lure one another into feigning attacks before unleashing brutal counters.

The match came to a head when Von Bonn and Shank unleash flurries of strikes, their opponens teetering over the edge of their graves. Von Bonn gave a strong kick to Wish's gut and look to end things with a pedigree! But Wish had the wherewithal to throw his weight as the move was locked in and both men fall into the grave, Wish sacrificing his body to give Luca a chance of survival as tons of dirt fall down onto the open grave from the contraption above.

Luca takes advantage in the battle against The Big Shank but one mistimed lariat spelled doom as TBS hits his signature superkick, The Shankstopper, into Arzegotti's jaw and he falls unconcious and down into the open grave. Dirt falling on top of him as he hits the bottom.

WINNERS VIA BURIAL - KRIS VON BONN & BIG SHANK!




Hanari Carnes
- vs -
Zane Norrison
Día de los Muertos Partido
Lit candles will cover the apron
Large Candy Skulls will hang above the ring
The Candy Skulls can be smashed to retreive a weapon
Winner determined by Pinfall, Submission or KO




"Danza Kuduro" hits and Hanari Carnes spins and dances his way out to the ramp in traditional latin Bachata style. He is carrying the flag of the Dominican Republic on a flag pole over his shoulder. He swings his hips and points at the ladies in the front row, winking and making the gun symbol with his thumb and index finger of his free hand. He spins again and walks his way down to the ring with a cocky head swing and a million dollar smile. Climbing the ring steps he gets into the ring, carefully avoiding the various lit candles around it, before getting on the top rope and waving the flag a few times before jumping down and waiting for his opponent.


Soldier: "As you can see, Hanari has to avoid the lit candles around the ring apron, as well as the candy skulls hanging from the ceiling. Much like every other match tonight, this día de los muertos partido match is certainly unique."




"Already Dead" by Hollywood Undead begins to play as Zane Norrison walks out onto the ramp. He walks down the aisle and climbs into the ring. Zane looks around at all the floating candy skulls, grabbing some to feel them out.


Soldier: "Zane might be trying to figure out which one contains the best weapon; my guess would be the heaviest one. Or maybe the big one in the middle?"


The ref checks to make sure each wrestler is ready, before calling for the bell.


DING! DING! DING!


Zane Norrison immediately grabs a skull in his corner and breaks it. Seeing this, Hanari Carnes does the same revealing a pair of brass knuckles, while Zane's is nothing but a mix of Snickers, Almond Joys, and Kit Kats, which fall to the mat.


Soldier: "Hail Satan, talk about trick or treat!"


Hanari puts the knuckles on and runs at Norrison, swinging with the brass fist. Zane ducks and heads for the opposite corner, as Carnes punches the top turnbuckle. The impact causes his hand to fly back, sending the knuckles flying to the outside. As he turns around, grabbing his hurt hand, Hanari is met with a Spear from Norrison, who immediately covers.


1











KICKOUT!!!


Soldier: "The only way to win is by pinfall, submission or knockout......... pretty much like any other match!"


Zane grabs Hanari's head and drags him over towards the edge of the ring where the candles are. He tries to put Carnes' face into the flames, but Hanari elbows Zane. Hanari then grabs Zane's head and smashes it into some of the candles, causing them to drop to the outside. We then see that some of Zane's hair is on fire.


Soldier: "I don't know if he feels it, but the isn't stopping him from trying to put it out!"


Zane uses his hands to extinguish the small flame, before breathing a sigh of relief.


Soldier: "I think he was more concerned about his hair than the fact he was on fire!"


Hanari immediately begins stomping Zane's chest, before running to the ropes and Baseball Sliding Norrison to the ringside floor. Carnes quickly follows him out, carefully avoiding the candles. He then brings his opponent to his feet and throws him into the ring post.


Soldied: "All these potential weapons and Hanari sticks with the classic ring post, I like it!"


Hanari picks Zane up and rolls him into the ring, knocking over more candles. Somehow nothing catches on fire, and Carnes follows his opponent in. Norrison rises to his knees, but Hanari runs and attempts a Step Up Enzuigiri, which Zane ducks. He quickly pops up and hits Hanari with a Roundhouse Kick, sending him face first into the mat. Zane covers.

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2























KICKOUT!!!!


Zane stands up, bringing Hanari with him, heading over for one of the candy skulls. Norrison grabs it and smashes Carnes' face into it, sending him down to the mat. As Hanari clutches his face, blood begins to pour from under his hands, as we see a hammer drop to the mat from inside the broken skull.


Soldier: "A hammer?!?! Hanari just took a hammer to the face! I don't even think Zane had any idea that was even IN there!"


As Hanari tries to stop the bleeding, Zane walks over to another skull and punches it open. We can't see the contents of them, but he stares at it with wide eyes.


Soldier: "I don't know what's in there, but he almost seems excited to see it!"


All of a sudden we get a better view of the contents: BRAINS! Zane does what he's best at, and begins to aggressively chow down on the brains.


Soldier: "I really hope those are pig brains!"


Norrison's snacking doesn't allow him to see a bloodied Hanari get up and head his way. Too busy stuffing his face, Zane doesn't see Carnes until he's already on his shoulders and receiving a Samoan Drop. Hanari keeps Zane on his shoulders and rolls back up to his feet, tossing his opponent over his head for a Fireman's Carry Gutbuster, before covering.

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KICKOUT!!!!!



Soldier: "Impressive flow of moves by Hanari, but Zane isn't going down that easy!"


Hanari sits up and touches his bloodied nose, before looking over at the hammer on the mat. He rises up and heads over to it, before looking at Zane with evil intentions. Carnes walks over to Norrison and begins to hit him repeatedly in the head with the hammer.


Soldier: "Considering you can't kill what's already dead, this is perfectly legal inside AND outside of the ring."


Hanari once again goes to cover Zane, who amazingly kicks out right away. Carnes looks a little frustrated, heading over to Zane's arm and attempting the Viva la Republic! Cross Arm Breaker. As he goes to lock it in, Norrison rolls Hanari back into an awkward looking Schoolboy pin.

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KICKOUT!!!!!!


Soldier : "Hanari kicks out of the surprise pin attempt!"


Carnes swings at Zane who ducks his arm and runs for the ropes. On the rebound, Norrison attempts another Spear, but Hanari leap frogs him. Carnes breaks a big skull hanging down in the center of the ring, revealing a steel chair. He walks over to hit Zane with it, but he dodges and nails Hanari in the face with a sick looking Van Daminator.


Soldier: "We Walk Among You! Hanari's gonna need TWO nosejobs after that one! Cover by Norrison."


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THR-KICKOUT!!!!!!!



Zane immediately gets up and runs for the ropes. He attempts a Lionsault, but Hanari moves, causing Norrison to crash against the mat. As he goes to stand up, Carnes hits a Step Up Enzuigiri on his opponent, before locking in a Cross Arm Breaker.


Soldier: "Viva la Republic! He has it locked in tight, I don't know if Zane can escape."


Zane Norrison reaches out towards the ropes, but he can't quite reach. Hanari Carnes applies as much pressure as he can, forcing Zane to tap out.


WINNER VIA SUBMISSION - HANARI CARNES!



Soldier: "What a win by Hanari Carnes over XWF's resident zombie. I'm surprised he tapped out, but it was either that or lose an arm and it's kind of hard to eat brains without an arm."




"Box Office" Brian O’Haire & Donovan Blackwater
- vs -
Rebel Star & Jake Avery
Eldritch Horror Match
Elimination Tornado Tag Rules
Hundreds of horrifying tentacles have spawned underneath the ring
Anyone unlucky enough to be thrown to the outside will be eliminated




A blast of hot pink fireworks erupt throughout the arena as Rebel Star, emerges on the scene. With a sarcastic sneer on her lips and that glimmer in her eyes that makes the boys swoon, she descends the ramp. Paying no mind to the hoards of screaming fans. The women who want to be her and the men who want to be with her, if only for a moment of flesh on flesh contact. She sees through them like glass. Rebel climbs the steel steps and glides through the ropes. Taking position on the top turnbuckle, she awaits her adversary.

Soldier: "This bitch is freaky and I like it!"



Jake Avery walks down to the ring flexing like a bro.

Soldier: "Who the fuck is that? Whatever, I'd fuck her."



All three brothers emerge, with whomever is fighting at the time, in the lead. Pausing briefly, the brothers look around at the exuberant crowd, with immense entertainment. Sharing an amused glance to one another as the fans scream. From there they walk in unison to the ring, occasionally separating to approach a random fan that's losing their mind. Clearly, enjoying the effect they have on the crowd, the Brothers Blackwater continue onward. Once they reach the ring, two of the brothers hold up the bottom rope, as the intended participant for the fight slides into the ring. That brother then takes his place in the squared circle and awaits his opponent, while basking in the cheers from the audience.



Brian O'Haire comes down the ramp like STAR! Paparazzi and all that shit, it's great.

MATCH SUMMARY

Jake Avery and Brian O'Haire charged at one another, Avery utilising mat wrestling to take O'Haire down and wear him out with clean headlocks and arm drags. O'Haire's lack of ring awareness seems to be his downfall as Avery seems to take control early in this one on one. Meanwhile Blackwater and Star seem to have hit a paradox, both competitors miming one anothers actions in pure amazement until Blackwater gives a strong forearm and the two break out into an all out brawl.

O'Haire starts to take advantage, Avery tired after a flurry of ill-fated attacks which Brian rope-a-doped. The tentacles around the ring try to swipe inside the ring and a lucky dodge from O'Haire winds Avery and allows Box Office to capitilise throwing Avery through the middle rope and onto the apron. Tendrils wrap around Avery's leg but he stays on the arpon. Box Office gives a shoulder charge and Avery almost falls but clings to life; a right hook is dodged and countered with a headbutt. Avery ends O'Haire with a Ragnorock DDT onto the apron but both men meet their peril as the tentacles rip both men away and toss the into the crowd.

Only Rebel and Donovan remain. The two have traded strikes in an equal back and forth until Donovan quickly takes advantage with Shattered Mirror of Illusions and hurls Rebel Star into the tentacles on the outside. The bell rings as Blackwater holds up his arms in victory.

WINNERS VIA ELIMINATION - BRIAN O'HAIRE & DONOVAN BLACKWATER!




Centurion
- vs -
Melanie Crazee Childs
Candy Corn Deathmatch
A deathmatch but all weapons have been replaced with candy
The ropes will be replaced with Twizzlers




Melanie Crayzee Childs steps out onto the ramp, and in time with the music skips to the ring. She jumps up on the ring apron. Turns around and starts laughing. She then makes her way inside the ring, followed by her Manager Antony The Jerk



Centurion walks out onto the stage and looks out to the crowd as they cheer him on. He makes his way down the ramp and into the ring.

As the opening bell rings, Centurion and Melanie meet each other in the middle of the ring. Melanie catches Centurion by surprise with a vicious slap to the face, but it only serves to wake him up, and Centurion fires back with a series of right hands, backing Melanie into the ropes. He grabs her arm and whips her across the ring. She hits the twizzler ropes and surprisingly she actually rebounds back, where Centurion is waiting to catch her with a back body drop! Melanie flies up into the air and crashes down hard onto the mat. She quickly rolls under the bottom rope where Antony The Jerk is waiting to give her some strategic tips. Centurion turns his back to her as he postures for the fans. Antony instructs Melanie to slide into the ring and take advantage of the opening he gave her, and she does, but Centurion turns around just in time to duck a forearm that was intended for the back of his head and fire back with a standing dropkick that sends her back to the mat. Melanie pops up quick, but finds herself hoisted up onto Centurion’s shoulders. She wildly flails her arms and legs causing Cent to lose his balance which allows her to slide down his back and catch him with a German suplex!

”Ouch! Glad it wasn't me on the receiving end of that!”

Melanie stays right on top of him as she jumps back to her feet and rushes in with an axe handle to the face followed by a headlock and a flurry of punches to his forehead. Antony calls for her attention and tosses a burlap sack into the ring. Melanie picks it up and holds the sack up for the crowd to see.

”I wonder what is in that sack? Thumbtacks I bet!”

Melanie dumps the contents of the sack onto the mat and the camera zooms in to find that it’s actually not thumbtacks at all, it’s broken up shards of hard tack candy!

[Image: hardtackcandy.jpg]

Melanie grabs Centurion and leads him to his feet. She takes off for a running Bulldog straight into the hard tack candy, but Cent pushes her off and sends her into the ropes! He catches her on his shoulders and drops her onto the hard tack candy with a Smart Bomb! Melanie screams out in pain as the glass like candy cuts and digs into her flesh. Centurion grabs her leg and rolls across her for the cover!





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NO!

”Hey sweet, she kicked out!”

Centurion pulls her up and whips her into the ropes, but Melanie reverses and uses the extra momentum to send Centurion into the ropes so hard that he breaks right through them and tumbles to the outside! Melanie follows and pulls him up, but Cent recovers and shoves his shoulder into her gut, driving her back into the steel railing! Antony draws Cents attention and throws a power into his eyes that blinds him and gives Melanie a chance to recover!

”That jerk just threw Pixie Sticks into the eyes of Centurion!”

Melanie charges off of the barricade and spears the blinded Centurion. She then rolls over to the ring apron and digs around for something special. Soon enough she finds what she’s looking for and pull out a clear plastic bat that’s filled with candy corn!

”Finally, something that lives up to this matches namesake!”

She steps up to the plate as Centurion begins to stir. He pushes up to his knees and sits upright as he wipes the remaining pixie stick dust out of his eyes. He can see, but doesn’t have time to react to the big swing coming his way! The plastic bat smashes into his head so hard that the top of the bat explodes and sends candy corn flying into the first few rows! Melanie tosses him back into the ring and lays into him with a few stomps before whipping him into the ropes! Centurion hits the turnbuckle hard and slumps down into the corner. Melanie hits the opposite corner and gears up before taking off full speed straight for Centurion, smashing into him ass first!

”CRAYZEE TIME!!!”

Melanie quickly hooks the leg!




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Kickout!

"That old bitch kicked out!"

And that's not all as he pushes Melanie over and quickly transitions into...

"FALL OF ROME!!!"

Child's face turns to one of agony!

Centurion keeps the hold locked in tight.


Melanie's body lays in the sugary debris.




UNTIL







.....
















SHE TAPS!



WINNER VIA SUBMISSION - CENTURION!


"Way to beat a defenless woman, you shit!"



Noah Jackson & Liam Roberts
- vs -
Ruby & Peter Gilmour
House of Horrors Match
Tornado Tag Rules
A cell will surround the ring
Weapons will line the cell walls
Randomly trap doors and spooky ghosts will appear dealing damage




Liam Roberts walks out and heads towards the ring. Covered in blood and gore of an unknown origin, people wonder... did he just murder someone or was this the result of a really bad nose bleed, that caused him to panic and get blood everywhere. As he makes his way to the ring, the fans cheer him on but he pays them no mind. Eyes set straight forward, he simply carries himself onward to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope. Once inside the ring, he returns to a standing position and takes his place within the squared circle.




The intro to Destroy the Evidence plays, the crowd get hype. When the drums kick in Noah Jackson runs out from the back with a burst of energy, basking in the glow of sick cunt energy washing over him. He slowly puts his right foot forward and glides down the ramp on his heelies, rhythmically raising and lowering pointed fingers to the sky as the crowd chants.

"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"

Until he reaches the apron where he gracefully rolls under the bottom rope and goes straight to the corner continuing his motions and the chants until his music is rudely cut off.




The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then see fire emitting from the ramp after a bell tolls a few times. We then hear "SUCK MY DICK" blast from the PA and the crows begins to go ape shit. "FUCK EVERYBODY" by Steel Panther begins to kick in as res strobe lights and lasers hit the stage. We see Peter Gilmour and his demon assassin Valerie Sky appear on the stage. They look around as Peter bobs his head to the music. As soon as the chorus kicks in we see Peter start singing into the camera saying, "EVERYBODY CAN SUCK MY DICK!" They head to the ring and then get in normally. Peter then throws his hands up in an "X" pose as fire and fireworks go off above the ring in the same manner. Peter looks at Valerie and smiles wickedly as they look at the stage waiting for their next victim.




Have no fear! Ruby is here! To save the day! In her own amazing way!

Ruby rushes out to an explosion of fireworks and fans cheering wildly. Running at full speed, she high fives lucky audience members along the way and when she gets to the ring, she leaps into the air. Somersaults over the top rope and sticks a perfect superhero landing, in the dead center of the ring. Seriously, be jealous Iron Man, Ruby's was better! Rising up into a standing position, Ruby casts her gaze outward, her cape billowing in the breeze that no one really knows quite where it's coming from. However, it accents her entrance perfectly, so no one cares either. Then with a slight smirk, she takes her position in the ring, next to Peter Gilmour. Who smiles sadistically.


Suddenly, a creak is heard and then a groan, some might think these are noises coming from a haunted house but in reality, it's just the super old and rusty mechanisms that lower the cell around the ring. Usually it is a cage that gets used but tonight it's a cell. Four walls constructed of sturdy bulletproof glass. On top of that it was also blessed by a priest, a rabbi and some dude named Tobin, that works as an XWF roadie, in order to keep the spirits that appear tonight, within the confines of the cell. For the safety of the audience. Yeah, we the unidentified staff that they keep locked away in the video control room; at all times - no exceptions, are surprised about it too but they keep us chained to the floor and make us piss in a bucket, so we might be biased. Last night we caught and ate a rat. Back at the ring, it appears the cell has been successfully lowered and look, Unknown Soldier is still out there.


"HAIL SATAN! 666!


The audience responds in kind and several die hard, Unknown Soldier followers, dump buckets of blood on themselves. Also someone sporadically combusts into flames. That's right. A case of actual human combustion occurs. But the person doesn't scream, show any signs of torment or even become rendered into nothing more than a pile of dust. No, he simply crosses his arms and stares intensely at the cell; unblinking, with an over-exaggerated frown upon his face. Ah, a Soldier superfan, no doubt. Very nice.


Meanwhile, in the ring, the participants stand in the center, sizing each other up and down as the ref checks on the trap doors and does a quick inventory of the weapons. He has a checklist and everything. Then once he's finished with that step and he uses his hand to count out the wrestlers standing in the ring cause apparently he's thorough but also a tad slow in the head, he signals for the bell to be rung and this House of Horrors Match (with Tornado Tag rules)... BEGINS!


Liam Roberts gets right into the swing of things and runs up to Peter Gilmour and the two begin exchanging blows. While Ruby and Noah Jackson clash. All four wrestlers really getting into the heat of battle, with massive amounts of aggression fueling their attacks.


"This is what I like to see. Four people beating the shit out of each other. The only thing that would make this better is if there were eight people. Or 12! 24! Hail Satan! 666! 666 wrestlers all trying to kill each other! Now that... would be a match!"


Enthusiastic vigor sparks Liam Roberts, as he hits Peter with a few rights and lefts but Peter Gilmour gets the upper hand (metaphorically), when he delivers a Headbutt! Roberts stumbles back and Peter wastes no time to act. He grabs Liam by the shoulders and spins him around in a circle like a top. Till Liam looks practically green, like he's about to blow chunks everywhere and then Peter, ceases the spinning. Liam sways and staggers, back and forth and Peter laughs. Grasping Roberts by the shoulders once more, Gilmour throws Liam towards the ropes. Dizzy and discombobulated, Liam flies across the ring, hits the ropes and his face slams against the glass. Where it leaves a foggy print and a little bit of spittle, before Liam flops back onto the canvas.


Fast on his feet, Peter dashes over to Roberts and begins stomping the downed man in the head, chest and abdomen. Writhing in agony and trying desperately to block the oncoming onslaught; to no avail, Liam lets out whimpers of pain. That's when Gilmour notices Barbie. His beloved barb wire covered bat. Overjoyed, Peter frolics over to it and picks it up. Then he does a little twirl and a small jump in the air, where he kicks up both feet in happiness and pure joy. Transitioning from this cheerful reaction, to a sadistic grin and an even more sadistic wink, he charges towards Liam Roberts. Over and over again, Peter Gilmour slams the unforgiving weapon of torture onto Liam's body. Ripping up the man's side in the process. This is sick! This is brutal! This is SAVAGE! (Brought to you by Uncle Jebediah's Corn Whiskey. It comes in an actual jar!)


"I use my jar as a musical instrument." Produces an empty jar and proceeds to play it. Same concept as playing the jug but its a jar.


While Peter Gilmour continues to brutalize Liam Roberts, with both bat and boots now, we turn our sights to Noah Jackson and Ruby, both fighting it out like true savages. Excellent. Ruby catches Noah with an impressive Side Kick and follows it closely with a Spin Kick that sends Jackson flying backwards. From there the caped crusader charges towards Noah. She goes for a Spear but adds an extra amount of flair by diving in the air at the last second. For a moment, it almost looks like she's flying! Noah manages to dodge out of the way though and Ruby crashes into the wall of the cell. Ouch that's gotta hurt! Dazed, she drops to the canvas and Noah is quick to act, delivering a Leg Drop. After which he places Ruby in an Armbar! Ruby tries her best to keep a brave face but the pain becomes too great and she soon lets out a scream in agony! Which only makes Jackson pull the hold tighter!


Out of nowhere a ghost appears in front of Jackson!


[Image: x7kiaw9.png]


"Hi! I'm Casper! Wanna be friends!"


Noah Jackson nearly jumps out of his skin! He releases the hold, turns pale white with fright and flees in terror! Casper the Friendly Ghost, sees this and sighs, right before he vanishes from sight. Yet another person runs away, when all he wanted to do is be friends. How disappointing. Fortunately, this is the saving grace that Liam Roberts, was practically begging for this whole time. Because in the process of running away, Noah notices Liam getting totally beat down and destroyed by Peter Gilmour. He knows he must save his partner. But how? Looking about frantically, Noah spots a canon! Jackson hurries over to it and removes a single match from his boot. Weird but helpful. Instantly the match ignites because... uh, spirits and the power of... Satan! Without hesitation, Noah holds the flame to the wick of the canon and it sparks. That flame travels along the wick until it reaches its destination and then... KABOOM! Glitter and confetti fly everywhere! Dammit! It's a party canon! But wait, some of the pieces of confetti and glitter make their way into Peter's eyes. He's blinded and in pain! Swatting at his own face in an attempt to alleviate the issue, Peter stumbles backwards. And steps right on a trap door! Uh-oh!


Oh no! Peter! Watch Out! You're gonna..." *whispers*"fall."


Peter falls through the trap door and plummets to who knows where exactly? Realistically it should drop him below the ring but a loud splash is soon heard. Like a boulder falling into a large body of water. So that's not below the ring. Or is it?


"Poor Peter."


Picture perfect image of a hero, Noah Jackson stands proud as the savior of the day, posing with his hands on his hips, clearly mocking Ruby. Posed in that fashion for several seconds, Jackson busts out laughing. This is some side splitting laughter too and he even doubles over and slaps his leg to emphasize that. Forgetting all about Liam Roberts, who is still laying on the canvas. Bleeding and moaning quietly to himself. Several tiny devils appear out of nowhere, take their position around Liam and start poking him with their pitchforks but he doesn't even attempt to swat them away. He just starts softly sobbing.


"Hail Satan!"


Not a happy camper when she sees Noah Jackson's blatant disrespect, Ruby goes for a bolas that's lying on the canvas nearby. Swinging the weapon high over her head, she throws it and it wraps tightly around Jackson's ankles. This causes him to fall back and thud against the mat. Hard. Then Ruby runs off to the ropes. Stomping on Noah's head along the way. Swiftly she ascends them with ease, in spite of the fact that the cell wall is so close, it's literally up against the ropes. Someone in marketing doesn't know the proper measurements for these types of things. He's probably new. Anywho, Ruby climbs up to the top turnbuckle, where she perches herself. Staring out to the crowd, Ruby smiles before she leaps off into a Hurricanrana! The crowd goes wild and screams in excitement! Direct hit to Noah Jackson! Ruby covers for the pin!

1




































Shoulder up!


As Ruby rises, Noah Jackson sits up and tears the bolas away from his ankles. Immediately tossing it at Ruby afterwards, he then gets to his feet. It hits her in the shin and she winces but that's about it. To be fair, Noah simply threw it like you throw a ball, out of clear frustration. Both competitors on their feet, run towards each other and begin trading punches and kicks while Liam; still on the canvas, groans. The ref considers checking on him but then another ghost appears. Spooky.


[Image: CPnCknl.jpg]


Upon sight, the ref runs off and falls down a trap door. Nothing but the sound of wind follows...


The green specter shifts his sights to Noah Jackson and Ruby battling it out and hovers over. From somewhere within its body it pulls out a bag of popcorn and merely watches. Ruby sticks Noah with a right and goes for a quick left jab, that Jackson deflects and swivels down into a leg sweep. It is a maneuver that sends our Super Dear-O falling back, onto the canvas. Almost like a cat, Noah leaps onto Ruby and begins delivering a series of punches to her face. The rapid successions of blows are utterly savage! When it's savage, it's happening on SAVAGE!(Brought to you by The Food Bag. Random food that you get served to you, in an unmarked brown, paper bag. When you can't decide what to eat tonight, choose The Food Bag. You never know what you're gonna get!)


"666!666!666!


Somehow, someway, Ruby pushes through it all and headbutts Noah Jackson. Blood gushes forth from his nose and he tips backward. Right onto Peter Gilmour's boots! Soaking wet and covered in seaweed, Peter towers over Jackson, laughing like a crazed maniac. Eyes so wide they look like they might burst from his skull, Gilmour raises his arms and almost as if summoned by Satan! himself the crowd responds. Either that or it's because Unknown Soldier is holding up a sign brandishing the words - Suck My Dick, in giant, bold, black letters. He holds the sign high and also appears on the Tron, for all to see and the crowd breaks out in a "Suck My Dick!" chant in honor of Peter's return from the depths! Peter grins sadistically and then pulls Noah up by his hair. Fireman's Carry into an extended knee! Gilmour isn't done there though, he then lifts Noah Jackson once more and executes the GILMOUR CUTTER! Peter covers for the pin!


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Slimer to the rescue! He engulfs Gilmour's head with his body and covers Gilly in slime! Thus braking the pin! Slime pours down Gilmour's body rapidly. So fast and furious, it's almost like Slimer is taking a massive diarrhea dump on Gilly! Can ghosts do that? Ruby rushes in but gets a thick coating of slime tossed at her face. This slows the superhero in her tracks, distracted by trying to wipe away the goo coating her face, she is powerless to stop anything from happening. Jackson pushes himself up to his feet and goes for the Spear! It's a straight shot! Down goes Gilmour and away floats Slimer. But not before sharing a wink and a point with Noah Jackson. Grabbing a fist full of hair, similar to what Gilmour did to Noah, Jackson rips Peter from the canvas and immediately hits him with Down Thunder! Noah Jackson covers for the pin!


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2...



































Ruby with a Double Axe Handle to the back of Noah Jackson!


Noah falls off to the side and activates a trap door! However, he clings to the ledge, desperate not to fall. That's when Ruby steps on his fingers! Noah Jackson drops like a sack of so many potatoes. Right down the trap door hole. Then the trap door is shut... by a tentacle. Holy anime porn?


With her partner down and Noah contending with the creature down below. There's only one thing to do here. Ruby struts over to Liam Roberts, now surprisingly on his feet, thanks to the help of the ropes. A tap on the shoulder causes Roberts to turn around and the sight of Ruby, compels him to roll his eyes. He goes to slap her but she catches his hand. Extending her free hand, Ruby waves her pointer finger in Liam's face, in a gesture that means "No, don't do that." and Liam retorts by spitting our masked warrior in the face. Totally repulsed by Liam's actions, there's zero time wasted when Ruby hits Liam with The Ruby Cutter! Not finished, she goes for that top turnbuckle, yet again. An easy and swift climb, Ruby performs, Ruby in the Rough!


Ruby for the pin!


A trap door opens and a loud belch is heard, right before the ref soars out. Almost like he was regurgitated from down below. A thick mucus coats his body and he's shaking but still manages to count. What a trooper!


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2...




























































Noah Jackson emerges, climbing from the trap door he fell through. That tentacle is back too and it grabs his leg and pulls him back. Struggling, Noah kicks his leg about and shrieks but can't get free.































Three!



WINNER VIA PINFALL - RUBY & PETER GILMOUR!




Drezdin
- vs -
Shane
Dead or Alive Match
I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
And I'm wanted (wanted)
Dead or aliiiiiiive!
No one knows how this match is won or what it even is and as we all know the spookiest thing is the fear of the unknown.




Drezdin pops and locks his way down to the ring and goes under the ropes while doing the worm.



Shane busts through a demon's stomach in the audience and runs into the ring like a newborn child. Crying, soaked in blood and naked.

Soldier: "I love both these guys! I wish they both could win so we could all hold hands, rail coke and bang hookers til the sun rises."

DING! DING! DING!

Shane doesn't seem to know where he is, his intincts tell him to jack off but Drezdin forces the Shameless One to fight or flee. Drez charging Shane and knocking him down with a clothesline. Shane kips up and screams in Drezdin's face only to be put down by a spinning back fist to the thoat! Shane coughs and hacks and Drezdin raises high above his head in a Gorilla press but something long and phallic taps Drezdin's arm and Shane is abruptly dropped hard onto the canvas. The ref finally intervenes and offers Shane some spare shorts which he is forced to wear under fear of being DQed.

Soldier: "Oh yeah! Ultra-violence and threats of death are just fine but someone shows a little hang down and we're going to get thrown off the air. Fucking ."

Shane finishes putting on the oversized shorts and he grimaces. Drezdin pounces again but Shane holds his hand up for Drezdin to STOP! Shane's pants fall!

Soldier: "Great job, Shane, you lasted all of 5 seconds without showing your dick again. New record!"

Drezdin is distracted just long enough for...

BLOOOOFFFF!!!!!

Drezdin just got blasted by a thick stream of white foam! It's so thick and powerful it knocked him over!

It's somebody driving a giant Dong mobile! It's basically a modified version of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile except it's a big honkin' dong and two fatass balls on wheels!

The giant Dongmobile has been modified to hurl a thick stream of some nasty ass foamy white shit that keeps knocking Drezdin over with each pump.

Somebody gets out of the Dongmobile!

Nobody can believe it!

IT'S THE CRIMSON DONG!!!!

He runs over and towels the downed Drezdin off, making sure he's all dry after he dickslaps him! He also wipes down the general area and supplies nearby fans with towels if they need them. Dong breaks out the latex gloves and gets to work cleaning everything up before he gets back into the Dongmobile. Before he drives away, he says...

"All clean! It's like The Dong was never here! No evidence, no crime! Hee hee hee!"

Crimson Dong drives off as Shane suddenly throws a large rock about the size of a baseball at Drezdin's head and it just shatters over his skull, causing a bunch of fans to start laughing at the sheer randomness of that.

Drezdin raises again in anger only to fall right into Shane's trap.

Soldier: "Fucking Shane set up a guillotine! Wile E. Coyote mother fucker!!!"

Drezdin looks up as the blade comes crashing down to Shane's delight!

The splash zone of the audience is covered in blood as Drezdin's head falls to the mat.

DING! DING! DING!

WINNER VIA DECAPITATION - SHANE !


Shane picks up Drezdin's disembodied head with pride!

But Drezdin's eyes turn onto Shane!

The head leaps at Shane and begins to rip chunks of flesh from as his headless body joins in on kicking the shit out of Shane!

The audience erupt into laughter and cheers as the clusterfuck falls out of the ring and continues to brawl into the back.

Soldier: "Ah, love those boys."



"Vicious" Vita Valenteen & Amjetkun Socio
- vs -
"The" Tristan Slater & Jim Jimson
Exorcism Match
Standard Tag Rules
So someone released a demon! Oops!
At random a competitor will be taken control of by the demon and recieve supernatural strength and powers


“The following contest is a tag team Exorcism Match in the LETHAL LOTTERY!”






“Introducing first, about to make his way to the ring… AMIETKUN SOCIO!!”


Comes out clapping and smiling, then doing the entrance music video routine with Mason's chopped and screwed remix blaring (or his other theme whatever). He finishes that bit and goes back to pumping his fists and nuts like a champ until he slips on some grease and has a full blown roid rage fit, spinning clotheslines and uppercuts to dicks, so many fans and ring crew people get hurt.


“And his partner….”






“She is the ANARCHY CHAMPION… VITA VALENTEEN!!”


“Bad Guy” begins to play as the crowd breaks out into a chorus of boos. VV walks out onto the stage and and postures for the crowd, soaking up their jeers as if it's the ultimate sign of support. She makes her way down the ramp, ignoring the outreached hands of any fans she still has along the way. VV the heads up the steps and walks along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV flexes her biceps as the crowd continues to boo. She stands up, laughing off the crowd as she prepares for the match to start.


“And there opponents…”





“About to make his way to the ring, JIM JIMSON!

Jim calls upon the powers of the Jimson Bloodline and sends the entire crowd and opponents to the 8th diemesion. As soon as Jim Jimson's super cool and amazing entrance is finished, the crowd and opponents all return to the arena missing out on an epic entrance. Jim places a dead dolphin corpse on the ground, to show his dominance.



“And his partner….”






“About to make his way to the ring, THE TRISTAN SLATER!


THE TRISTAN SLATER emerges out to the top of the ramp with a pyro display going off above him. He merely looks at the ring with disgust written on his face. SLATER starts to make the walk towards the ring, stepping over the dead dolphin along the way. He reaches ringside before climbing up on the ring apron and stepping through the ropes. SLATER eyes JIM before looking across at the opponents. The music fades away.


DING… DING… DING…


SLATER steps out to the ring apron allowing JIM to start off opposite the Anarchy Champion V.V.


Soldier: "Here we fucking go!!!! MAN I'M HIGH!"


JIM and VITA starts things off as they look to lock up only to see JIM put on the breaks before pointing at VITA and calling her a CUNT! VITA immediately fires off a knife edge chop to the chest followed by a flurry of forearm smashes to the jaw of JIM before taking him back into the ropes where she flings him across the ring, JIM bounces off the ropes ducking under a clothesline attempt where he bounces off the far side gaining more momentum and as VITA spins around she rears his fist back causing JIM to stop in his tracks while throwing his hands up before rushing towards his corner where he tags SLATER into the match.


Soldier: ”JIM got out of dodge with a quickness.”[b]


SLATER steps into the ring to a pop from the crowd as VITA stares directly at TRISTAN which prompts SLATER to blow her a kiss before they circle each other and lock up center ring. TRISTAN has the size and strength as he easily muscles VITA back into the ropes where the referee calls for a break before laying the count to TRISTAN who backs away at the four count with a smirk on his face before calling VITA back out to the center of the ring.


[b]Soldier: TRISTAN is having a little fun at the expense of the Anarchy Champion.”


VITA comes out towards the center of the ring locking up with TRISTAN again and this time TRISTAN snatches a side headlock before taking VITA over to the mat with a side headlock takeover with her shoulders on the mat.


“ONE!”











“TWO!!!!”








VITA rolls the left shoulder up off the mat as SLATER continues to crank on her head. VITA starts to work her way up before slipping out of the headlock! SLATER pops back to his feet where he eats a Superkick from VITA that sends SLATER backwards and into the ropes where he bounces forward into a second Superkick that sends SLATER to the mat. VITA makes her way to her corner where she takes in SOCIO! The large framed SOCIO steps through the ropes as we see TRISTAN start to get to his feet only to have SOCIO bench press him up in the air where he does five reps with SLATER before slamming him down to the mat!


Soldier: SOCIO is just manhandling SLATER! LOOK AT THOSE GAINZ!


SOCIO measures SLATER who starts to stir and use a neutral corner to get to his feet. SOCIO charges forward looking for an Avalanche Splash which sees SLATER side step and SOCIO crashes into the buckles. SLATER charges forward delivering a running knee to the jaw of SOCIO before driving him face first into the mat with a running bulldog! SLATER is back to his feet where he runs towards the ropes and spring boards off the middle rope delivering a leg drop across the back of SOCIO’s neck! SLATER rolls him over making the cover while hooking the near leg.


“ONE!!!!”














“TWO!!!!!!”





















“THR…………”


SOCIO kicks out before the three count as we see SLATER get back to his feet where he makes his way to his corner extending his hand out to JIM. JIM shakes his head “no” before we see SLATER tag JIM into the match anyway. JIM reluctantly starts to climb the turnbuckles and reaches the top rope while in the ring SOCIO is working his way back to his feet and as he stands JIM comes off the top rope with a Missile Dropkick to SOCIO that staggers the big backwards several feet. JIM pops back to his feet where he bounces off the ropes leaping in the air looking to deliver a Lou Thess Press only to see SOCIO catch him in midair with a Bear Hug!


Soldier: ”JIM got caught!”


SOCIO starts squeezing JIM as the referee asks him to surrender, JIM refuses as SOCIO tightens his grip causing JIM to scream out in pain. The referee asks him again to surrender and again he refuses before gouging SOCIO in the eyes with his thumbs! The crowd pops as JIM breaks the hold! JIM takes SOCIO back into the ropes where a blind tag from VITA takes place as JIM attempts and Irish Whip that is reversed by SOCIO and its JIM that bounces off the ropes where he’s driven into the mat with a Spinbuster Slam by SOCIO! VITA runs towards the ropes where she springboards off the middle rope and delivers a Springboard Moonsault to JIM! VITA makes the cover.


“ONE!!!”

















“TWO!!!!!!!!!”





































“THRE……………………”


JIM escapes the near fall as VITA is shown getting back to her feet where she stomps down on JIM several times before reaching down picking him up off the mat. She takes him back into the ropes where she flings him across the ring, JIM bounces off the near side where she delivers a boot to the midsection that doubles him over for VITA to follow up with a swinging neckbreaker.


Soldier: ”The Anarchy Champion is on firm display. Despite looking like prepubescent boy."


VITA pops back to her feet where she shifts her attention towards SLATER on the ring apron before spitting at him to boo from the crowd. SLATER doesn’t bite on the distraction tactic, he spits back at VITA! VITA flips SLATER off which only garners SLATER flipping VITA off in response with both hands, all the while JIM comes up from behind with a School Boy!


“ONE!!!”






















“TWO!!!!!!!!”

































“THRE……………………..”


VITA escapes the near fall to a gasp from the crowd before beating JIM to his feet where she shoots JIM into a neutral corner before charging in after him delivering a handspring elbow that sends JIM crumbling to the mat while VITA makes her way over tagging SOCIO back into the match. SOCIO steps through the ropes as we see JIM start to pull himself back to his feet against the buckles. SOCIO charges forward looking to cut JIM in half with a spear! JIM falls out of the way sending SOCIO through the top and middle ropes smashing right shoulder first into the ring post!


Soldier: "JIM’S got a chance to make the tag!!”


JIM staggers towards his corner where he falls forward tagging SLATER back into the match! SLATER steps through the ropes where he immediately pulls SOCIO back out towards the middle of the ring where he spins him around driving a boot to the midsection. SLATER take a front face lock before hoisting SOCIO up in the air and driving him down into the mat with a Brainbuster Suplex to a roar from the crowd. SLATER pops back up to his feet where he crotch chops VITA before stepping out to the ring apron where he spring boards off the top rope with a 450 Splash down on to SOCIO! SLATER makes the cover!


“ONE!!!!”























“TWO!!!!!!!!!”









































“THRE…………………..”


VITA breaks the cover for her team essentially saving the contest as she’s reprimanded by the referee. SLATER is back to his feet where he reaches down picking SOCIO up off the mat only to be hit with a low blow!!!


Soldier: ”That’ll have you singing soprano!”


SLATER falls backwards to the mat as the referee is oblivious to what’s happened once getting VITA back out to the ring apron. SOCIO begins working his way back to his feet where he tags VITA back into the contest. VITA scales the buckles where she measures SLATER before leaping off the top rope looking to deliver a Frog Splash! SLATER draws the knees up sending VITA crashing down into his knees! SLATER starts working his way back to his feet where he yanks VITA back to her feet where he laces VITA across the chest with knife edge chop before driving her back into his corner where JIM tags into the match. SLATER snaps VITA over with a snap mare take over as JIM steps into the ring where he bounces off the ropes delivering a shining wizard to the temple of VITA!


Soldier: That sounded like a gunshot! And now I'm ROCK HARD!"


JIM makes the cover on VITA!


“ONE!!!”



















“TWO!!!!!!!!!!!”









































“THRE……………………..”


VITA kicks out to a loud gasp from the crowd with the near fall! JIM starts to get back to his feet as suddenly VITA starts convulsing in the ring!! JIM looks on as VITA flops around like a fish out of water before abruptly sitting straight up and shifting her head towards JIM! VITA pops back up to her feet where she snatches JIM by the throat and hoisting him up in the air with one hand!


Soldier: VITA’s been possessed! HAIL SATAN!"


VITA slams JIM down violently into the mat with a one handed chokeslam!! SLATER starts to pace the ring apron in an attempt to rally JIM as VITA drops down to the mat choking away at JIM! Suddenly coming over the railing from the crowd is…


Soldier: "IT'S PETER FUCKING GILMOUR! FUCK YEAH! FUCKING KILL EM!!!"

GILMOUR yanks SLATER off the ring apron and down to the floor where he drives him face first into the steel ring steps! GILMOUR pulls out HANDCUFFS where he handcuffs SLATER’s hands behind his back! GILMOUR goes under the ring pulling out a Kendo Stick! In the ring VITA delivers the RINGS OF SATURN! VITA starts convulsing again for several seconds before coming back to normal as she makes the cover on JIM!


“ONE!!!!!”











































“TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”



























































“THREE!!!!”



WINNERS VIA PINFALL - VITA VALENTEEN & AMJETKUN SOCIO!



VITA and SOCIO leave the victors while out on the floor GILMOUR has the kendo stick in hand as we see TRISTAN with his hands cuffed behind his back work his way to his feet for GILMOUR to unload with vicious shots to the unprotected skull of SLATER!


Soldier: GILMOUR is wearing SLATER’s skull out with a Kendo Stick!


The fourth shot shatters the kendo stick over the head of SLATER that busts TRISTAN wide open! GILMOUR snatches a bloody SLATER and drops him with a GILMOUR CUTTER on the floor!


Soldier: "Go PETER! SKULLFUCK THEM WITH YOUR SUPER DICK BEST BUDDY!!!"


GILMOUR pops back up to his feet where he picks a bloody SLATER up off the floor delivering a second GILMOUR CUTTER to SLATER! The crowd roars with boos as GILMOUR stands over SLATER looking down at him intently as the scene fades out.



Cameras open up backstage on none other than Shane with Steve Sayors. Shane is looking sharp in a grey and sapphire blue suit.

Sayors: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm standing here with Shane , who just this past Thursday on Anarchy issued a bold "call out" of sorts to his rival "Chronic" Chris Page. It was a call out that some say Shane knew wouldn't be answered based on recent events, and as one would have expected, there was indeed no response from the man who previously suffered a heinous attack on the October 23rd edition of Warfare from Unknown Soldier and this man standing beside me.

Shane smirks, holding up a large clump of the hair that he cut off of CCP's head last Warfare.

Sayors: Well Shane I see you're still carrying around Chris Page's hair with you like some kind of trophy. Are you here to call him out again? And what do you have to say about the people who are finding it rather convenient that you call him out at times it's almost guaranteed he won't be able to answer?

Shane laughs off that last question.

: Haha, right, so what we have going on right now is VERY simple. We have yet another opportunity for that piece of trash CCP to see me face to face! This is Wrestling 101 here everybody – I orchestrated a well deserved beat down of that worthless punk and cut his ugly ass ponytail off FOR THE SECOND TIME in the last eight years! At this point he should be dying to get a hold of me, right? At this point he should be consumed by the thought of me violating him in such a demeaning way for the second time since I've known him! ...Yet here we are.

Over the course of the last decade, the entire landscape of the XWF has changed. Hell, the entire industry has changed... yet one thing remains the same – That ever potent law of space and time which states: No matter what else is happening in the universe, you know that somewhere, Shane is making Chris Page his bitch.

And you know something? I didn't even make that law myself. I just came to realize it the same way CCP did so long ago, way back when he was running WGWF and I was running the XWF, and my company and stars were making his company and stars look like total horseshit at every turn! That wasn't enough for me though! I wanted to take a part of him with me!


Shane jams CCP's ponytail into Steve Sayors' face and makes him sniff it, smearing the hair all over his face and shoving it in his mouth.

: You smell that? You taste that? That's CCP in your mouth!

Shane dangles the ponytail in front of the camera as Steve coughs and wipes his face off with a rag.

: Damn, CCP! You must have some nasty shit on you because this poor bastard is dying behind me after one sniff of your dirty ass hair! Hair I shouldn't even have! Which brings me back to my original point last Thursday on Anarchy..........................................

…..........................


….......................


COME AND GET IT!

When you look at this gold dangling from my hand, I don't want you to just see your own hair... I want you to see your very soul, and I want you to see that XWF Universal Championship you chased so very hard but lost your chance to hold the very same night your lost this hair! I want you to see all the loss you've experienced and all the turmoil you've been through as a result of my mere existence over the years. This hair represents it ALL!

Chris, if all that I've cost you over the years could be reclaimed and realized in true form by you today, you'd be the most powerful man in the history of the wrestling business.

Heh... What an absolutely nuts alternate reality THAT would be, eh?


Suddenly we hear a voice calling out angrily from down the hall...

???: "It's done!"

The camera turns to see Peter Gilmour making his way down the hall.

Gilmour: It's done, Shane. Just like we talked about. Did you see it?

Shane can't help but let a devious smile creep its way over his face.

: Ah, fantastic! I didn't see it but you can be sure I'll be watching the replay. Did you use the cuffs?

Gilmour: You better believe it. I cuffed his ass and buried him with not one but TWO Gilly Cutters!

: Did you make him suck your dick?

Gilmour: I uh, no I'll wait for next time for that. I want to make him sweat it out and worry about what's coming next.

: That's sick as fuck. I like it.

Shane pats Peter on the back as Steve Sayors looks confused.

Sayors: What exactly was done? What am I hearing here?

: Well if I'm not mistaken, Sayors... I believe SOMEBODY just received a very special gift from CCP... and that SOMEBODY is none other than one of my good friends, The Tristan Slater!

Sayors: Slater received a gift from CCP?

: That's what I said, Steve. Remember those handcuffs CCP used to fuck me over at Relentless when I was trying to cheer on Unknown Soldier in his match?

Sayors: That's not wh-

: ¡Silencio!

Shane slaps Steve across the face!

: As I was saying... Those very same handcuffs that were used on me over a month ago have just made it full circle ALL the way back to one of CCP's good buddies, Tristan Slater. Isn't that right, Gilly?

Gilmour: Damn right and I bet he's still stuck in them too because I flushed the key right down the shitter.

Sayors: Guys I'm being told we're short on time and need to wrap this up. Any last words for our viewers?

: They saw me run CCP's name through the piss and shit... they saw he was once again too much of a coward to do anything about it... and they saw Slater get a present from Gilly that he got from me and I got from CCPwow, what a mouthful. I think enough's been said!

Camera cuts away just as Gilmour started screaming for his dick to be sucked!



Mastermind & Tony Santos
- vs -
Thunder Knuckles & Sebastian Duke
Graveyard Smash Lumberjack Match
Tornado Tag Match
The dead have risen and luckily can't figure out how to get into the ring
Zombies surround the ring, anyone thrown to the outside must survive the horde of undead
Inside the ring, someone must win by pinfall or submission so the bell will toll and calm the zombies
Don't ask why that gets rid of them, it just works.


Soldier: "Ugh, fucking Duke is in this match!? Fuck this I'm going for a wicked piss."

Unkown Soldier leaves the booth but not before slitting his wrist and calling upon the powers of SATAN! to evoke the spirits of Pip and Heather!

HHL: "Oh God! Please no more torture!"

PC: "I'm sorry Lord SATAN! Please make it stop!"

Soldier: "Silence you filthy maggot-infested pissbabies! I need to take a fiery leak on some unmarked grave, call this match and do it with some quality or I swear to SATAN! himself I will drag you through miles of broken glass whilst raping you like you were cum powered segways!"

The two just nod as Soldier leaves.

TIG: “The following Lethal Lottery tag team match is set for one fall!”



“Blue on Black” by Five Finger Death Punch plays.



TIG: “Introducing first! Now residing in Arlington, Virginia! Weghing 2 hundred 95 pounds… SEBASTIAAAAAAANNN DUUUUUKE!”


As Blue On Black begins, red and white lighting flashes around the arena. Sebastian Duke emerges from backstage with his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. He wears a black and white bandanna on his head and wears jet black shades. His black leather trench coat stops around the knees. He stands on the stage looking out over the crowd with his PrimeTime fight glove clad hands resting above his hips. A lot of the 20-30 something men and women cheer wildly for the man they've grown to respect over the years. Kids hate him. Always have, probably always will.

He takes a moment to smooth out his goatee, then the chorus hits: BLUE ON BLACK, TEARS ON A RIVER and the Legend heads toward the ring at a much faster pace than XWF fans would remember. Some fans try to reach out and grab his hands as he walks as Duke characteristically yanks his hands out of their reach. As he reaches the ring, he may find a super fan worthy enough of trading a fist bump with, otherwise he just hops onto the apron and enters the ring where he proceeds to remove his glasses and trench coat.

As Blue on Black fades out, Duke goes to the outside and reaches beneath it.


PC: “Sebastian Duke, a late fill in for his son Thaddeus who was terminated not long after last Savage!”

HHL: “Duke is a true legend, but even legends have a tough time in a handicapped match!”

PC: “You really think Thunder Knuckles is going to take a dive!?”

HHL: “He’s bound by honor. He’ll try like hell.”


Duke pulls out a contraption that he places on his back.


PC: “Is that a...”

HHL: “That’s a flamethrower!”


Duke goes over to the large cage that contains the zombies and ignites the flame, throwing it inside the cage and catching many of the zombies on fire.


TIG: “And his partner.”



Thunder Knuckles Custom Theme plays.



TIG: “From Lima, Ohio, weighing 2 hundred 60 pounds… THUNDERRRRRRR KNNNNUCKLLLLLES!!!”


A giant wall of flaming pyro burst through the ceiling as Thunderstruck RuMbLeS through what remains of the arena! Thunder Knuckles marches down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He isn't wasting any time getting into this fight!


As soon as he enters the ring….




PC: “….THE ELIMINATOR!”

HHL: “Knuckles is out cold!”


Sebastian Duke nails the broque kick to the face of the unsuspecting Thunder Knuckles and he’s out cold on the mat. Duke grabs Knuckles by his hair, shoves x20 in his pocket, then tosses him out of the ring.


TIG: “And their opponents...”



“The Monster” by Eminem featuring Rhianna plays.



The lights go out, and then when they come back on Mastermind is seen standing on the top rope waving to the crowd.


TIG: “Introducing first, from New Zealand weighing 200 pounds… MASTERRRMIIIIIND!”


PC: “Mastermind has been a staple of the XWF for several years! Is this the year he finally wins Lethal Lottery?”


TIG: “And his partner!”



“A Lesson Never Learned” by Asking Alexandria plays.



TIG: From Boston, Massachusetts weight 2 hundred 25 pounds… TONYYYYY SAAAANTOOOOS!”


PC: “...glares at you!”


"A Lesson Never Learned" hits, roaring guitars filling the arena. Tony Santos descends down the entrance ramp, hoodie with the hood over his head, quickly walking to the ring, scowl on his face. The disdain from the crowd pours in as Tony simply grunts at the crowd.

The chorus (Could be the end of the world, I'd still be laid here on my own, wasting my life away!!!) hits, Santos ascends the stairs and climbs the turnbuckle, one hand raised in the air. Boos rain in from the crowd as Tony simply soaks it in like a fine IPA.

Santos jumps off of the turnbuckle and hits the mat with his two feet, giving one more raised arm to the crowd.


The music fades as Sebastian Duke stands in his corner, his hands on his knees and staring across the ring to the other corner where Mastermind and Tony Santos converse quickly. Santos steps out of the ring and Mastermind will start the proceedings.


PC: “It’s like looking into a mirror for these two men!”

HHL: “A funhouse mirror.

“Mastermind is like the midget version Sebastian Duke!”



The bell rings and Sebastian Duke nears the center of the ring, looking down at Mastermind. Duke reaches his right hand high into the air, challenging Mastermind to a test of strength.


HHL: “I’m not sure he can reach!”

PC: “Of course he can’t! That’s the whole point of Duke doing this.”


Mastermind looks up at Duke’s hand and shakes his head. Duke shrugs his shoulders and lowers his hand, then hold his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart and starts laughing to himself. Still though, Mastermind obliges and grasps Duke’s hand, willing to test strength.

Duke though, uses his left hand to grab himself a handful of Mastermind’s face and shove him down to the mat while laughing again.


PC: “Always the bully.”

HHL: “Always has been.”


Mastermind gets back to his feet and Duke can be seen saying “I’m sorry” a couple times. Again though, Duke reaches his hand in the air for a test of strength, then seemingly remembers that Mastermind is a foot shorter than he is and Duke drops to his knee. Mastermind looks increasingly irritated with Duke’s bully shenanigans.

Mastermind goes to grasp Duke’s hand but then quickly delivers a hard forearm to Duke’s face with his free arm. The shot rocks Duke as he stumbles to his feet. Mastermind starts wailing away on the much larger Sebastian Duke, eventually backing him into the corner. Duke shoves him away, but Mastermind is furious and charges back into the corner to deliver more damage. Again, Duke shoves him off, but once more Mastermind pops to his feet and leaps onto Duke.

On the floor, Thunder Knuckles is starting to come to.

Back in the ring, Mastermind pulls Duke out of the corner and goes for an Irish Whip. Duke reverses though and sends Mastermind to the ropes. On the rebound, Duke tilt a whirls Mastermind only for Mastermind to bring Duke to the mat with an arm drag.

Duke pops to his feet but is a bit disorganized mentally and Mastermind whips him off the ropes. On that reboumd, Mastermind goes for a clothesline but Duke ducks under it. He bounces off the far side and ducks under a back elbow attempt from Mastermind. Duke then leaps over the top rope with his big suicide dive, drilling the recovering Thunder Knuckles and keeping him grounded and out of the match.

Back in the ring, Mastermind tags out to Tony Santos.

Duke gets back to his feet and shakes off a bit of pain in his left knee as he looks down at his fallen partner. As he turns around to head back into the ring, Tony Santos is flying over the top rope and he delivers a flying cross body to Sebastian Duke.

Duke is big though, and freakishly strong, he catches Santos out of mid air then drives him back first into the ring post. He does it a second time. Then a third before dropping Santos across his knee with a backbreaker. Duke then goes to get in the ring.


PC: “Some of the zombies are still alive!”

HHL: “One of them has a hold of Sebastian Duke’s waist!”

PC: “And it looks like there’s more coming!”


Duke delivers a back elbow to the zombies gace, caving it in. That zombie crumbles to the floor. Another one runs at Duke, but Duke sees him. Yes, we are being politically correct. This zombies pronouns are he/him/his. Duke runs toward the zombie and delivers his Soul Shot clothesline, literally removing the head from the zombie body.

The undead threat neutralized for the time being, Sebastian Duke returns his attention to Tony Santos who has managed to make it back to his hands and knees as he nurses his ailing back. Duke grabs him by the hair and lifts him to his feet before rolling him into the ring. Duke looks around at the zombies that are now slowly making their way out of the cage they were delivered in then looks at Thunder Knuckles. Duke then lifts Thunder Knuckles to his feet and places him on the apron, not wanting to see him get devoured by the zombies.

Duke climbs to the apron and through the ropes. Santos though delivers a swift kick to the middle rope causing it to smash Duke’s balls and Duke crashes to the mat as Santos tags out to Mastermind. With Duke focusing on his ailing nuts, Mastermind quickly runs into the ring to make a cover.

1…









2…







Duke kicks out!


Mastermind gets back to his feet and grabs Duke by the hair and helps him to his feet. Mastermind tries to whip Duke to the corner but Duke reverses, sending Mastermind crashing into his own corner instead. Santos tags Mastermind and he’s now the legal man against Duke.

Duke charges into the corner and delivers a huge avalanche, engulfing Mastermind in the corner. Duke comes out of the corner though, not realizing Santos is legal. Duke turns and is dropped immediately with a leg lariat. Santos goes for the cover.


1…









2…









Duke kicks out!


Santos gets back to his feet as Duke starts to get to his. Santos rushes toward him, then plants him with a side Russian legsweep. Santos begins to go for the cover but thinks better of it and climbs to the top rope instead. Duke starts to recover and get to his feet. As he does, Santos leaps off the top and plants himself on Sebastian Duke’s shoulders, flipping him around and planting him with a hurricanrana, followed up with a hook of the leg.


1…









2…











Duke kicks out just in the nick of time!

Santos gets to his feet and tags out to Mastermind. The Master of Minds feels like victory could be close and immediately scales the turnbuckles and perches himself on top, waiting for Sebastian Duke to get to his feet under his own power. As he does so, Mastermind leaps off the top and crashes into Sebastian Duke with his trademark flying clothesline!


PC: “Mind Changer!”

HHL: “This has gotta be it for Duke!”


Mastermind quickly goes for the cover.


1…









2…









3!


The referee counts 3 and Mastermind is ecstatic! There’s only one problem though, as Sebastian Duke had his foot on the bottom rope. The referee is trying to point that out and Mastermind isn’t believing it at first.

Mastermind loses patience a little and starts laying in boots to Sebastian Duke who rolls around the ring mat trying to get away. Mastermind regains his composure and notices Duke on all fours and quickly he jumps on Duke’s back, grapevines himself and locks in the Mind Sleeper!

Duke struggles initially, but his inability to breath combined with the added weight of Mastermind on his back causes him to crumble to the mat, locked in the sleeper hold tight. The referee could call for the bell at any moment he feels Sebastian Duke can’t continue so he’s right in there with them, watching the life drain from Duke. With one arm trapped between Duke and the mat, it only leaves one arm free for the referee to lift, which he does and drops it… Duke stirs though, stopping the referee from calling for the bell.

Duke struggles to all fours with Mastermind still draped on his back. Duke then gets to one knee as he tries to pry Masterminds arms off his face. Duke then stands up with Mastermind still draped on his back. Duke then charges backward, driving Mastermind into the corner with great force but STILL, Mastermind refuses to let go of the sleeper hold. Duke staggers out of the corner, Mastermind still with the sleeper locked in and finally, Duke plants Mastermind back forst into the mat and he at long last releases the sleeper hold!

Duke and Mastermind are both down and out on the mat as Santos is letting his anxiety get the best of him as he tries to urge Mastermind to tag him. Duke remains down and out on the mat as Mastermind inches his way towards his own corner.

8 feet away.

Then 6 feet.

Then 4.

Then a leap and a tag from Mastermind to Tony Santos! Santos quickly scales the turnbuckles. He knows Duke isn’t lined up the way he ought to be, Duke’s legs are pointed almost directly at him. Santos measures the distance, then leaps…


PC: “Tony Award!”


Santos lands the Shooting Star Press…. Or does he?


















HHL: “PANDORA’S BOX!”


On the landing, Sebastian Duke traps Tony Santos in his hell’s gate triangle submission and is choking the life out of Tony Santos! Tony’s face turns a shade of beet rade before it starts to turn purple. It looks like he’s passed out and the referee moves in to check but he quickly retreats…














CRASH!




















PC: “THUNDER KNUCKLES!”

HHL: “From somewhere out in left field!”


Thunder Knuckles crashes into Sebastian Duke by way of Tony Santos, breaking the killer submission hold. Knuckles gets to his feet and retreats to his corner. Duke is down and ailing. Santos is nearly out cold as he lies on the mat.

Still though, Duke has the awareness to try and make a cover. Duke rolls over and lays an arm across Tony Santos.


1…









2…









Thunder Knuckles breaks up the count again!

Duke is incensed with anger as he gets to his feet and confronts Thunder Knuckles. Knuckles tries to explain: “IT’S ALL ABOUT THE XBUX!” but Duke continues to back him into the corner. From behind, Mastermind enters the ring and charges across the ring. Knuckles ducks between the ropes as Mastermind drop kicks Duke between the shoulder blades. Knuckles then tags Duke, effectively tagging himself in!

Knuckles enters the ring and Sebastian Duke is beside himself with anger, refusing to exit the ring. Knuckles baseball slides across the ring right beside Tony Santos and places Santos’s arm across his chest.

1…











2…












Duke with the save!

Mastermind though, knows with Knuckles the legal man and being paid to take a dive, his team is assured of victory. He grabs and lifts Duke dropping him with an inverted atomic drop, causing Duke to stagger backward against the ropes. Mastermind delivers a drop kick to Duke’s chest and he tumbles over the top rope to the floor. He lands on his feet though and attempts to come right back in, only to be hit with a baseball slide from Mastermind, staggering him backward into the clutches of a few zombies with awareness deficiencies.

Knuckles again pulls Santos’s arm over his chest.


1…



















2…


















Duke lunges forward out of the small sea of zombies and grabs the referee by the ankle, ripping him out of the ring. The zombies go after the referee, devouring him. Duke, free momentarily, goes to re-enter the ring. Just as he’s about to climb up on the apron, a pair of zombies grab him by the ankle, stopping him from entering.

Santos is still covering Thunder Knuckles as Mastermind waves around franticly trying to get the powers that be to send out another referee.

Duke struggles as more and more zombies swarm him.

A zombie wearing a referee shirt seemingly falls from the sky crashing to the mat and shatters.


1…



















Duke has now had his fingers pryed from the ropes.



















A second “Zomberee” is dropped from the ceiling and shatters on impact.

2!



















Sebastian Duke has been entirely swarmed and covered up with the remaining zombies.



















A third “Zomberee” is dropped and shatters.


3!


The bell rings and the remaining zombies shatter into dust.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL - TONY SANTOS & MASTERMIND!


As the audience of ghouls and ghosts applaud Unknown Soldier returns.

Soldier: "Wait. Was that the end of the fucking show!? FUCK THIS! FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING SHIT! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING HELL!"

"HAIL SATAN!!!!!!"



And with that Soldier claps his hands together and nukes the entire lodge with his SATANIC energy. The lodge blowing to pieces like from The Shining (The book anyway) and everyone fucking dies.

Except not because it's Halloween and everything will be back to normal tomorrow like in any other Halloween special.



As always a huge thank you to all that helped write matches and sent in segments. Special thanks to.

Azrael Erebus and all his friends!
Big D
"Chronic" Chris Page
Lux
James Raven
Sebastian Duke
Vita Valenteen

And
Unkown Soldier for being Guest Commentary

And everyone that RPed this week. I hope you all had a great Halloween and enjoyed the show.
Thanks again and stay spooked.
[Image: tenor.gif]


(A huge thank you to "Baker Street's favorite son" Tony Santos for making the draw. Everyone show him some love.)

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#2
11-03-2019, 09:18 AM

OOC: Yay! Thanks Tony's handler!

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#3
11-03-2019, 09:57 AM

Valen-TEEN... Ugh!

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2x Tag Team Champion
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#4
11-03-2019, 12:02 PM

I'm kinda pissed off that Santos is a handsome normal guy.

Fuck outta here!

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#5
11-03-2019, 01:18 PM

(11-03-2019, 12:02 PM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: I'm kinda pissed off that Santos is a handsome normal guy.

Fuck outta here!

Just tell me you want me to take you to Jazz Fest Vin, gawd.

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#6
11-03-2019, 01:27 PM

(11-03-2019, 12:02 PM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: I'm kinda pissed off that Santos is a handsome normal guy.

Fuck outta here!

OOC: I know right? I bet he doesn't even have to hit up cam whores on Twitter to get some attention!

PS: Because he is MARRIED!

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#7
11-03-2019, 04:10 PM

"WHAT THE FUCK BROH!"

"Wow ok so this is whack bro. I have to team with Fuzz the same week I have to punk his ass out for the X-rated title on Anarchy? Plus ol' boy already pissed me the fuck off yesterday bro! FUCK! SHIT! This is gonna be awkward as fuuuuuck!"

"Fuzz listen to me brah, we can beat those two fuckin' dorks we're up against with ease but we need to keep from killing each other over whatever may or may not happen on Anarchy when we go 1 on 1 for that title you got. Bro we need to beat the ever living piss outta these chumps and kidnap their loved ones to make sure the match stays clean. You down brohammer or do I need to do all the fuckin' work myself????????????"

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#8
11-03-2019, 04:33 PM

wow that was an EPIC show.. to be honest i didnt think me and Ruby were gonna win but i was shocked that we won.. now on to round 2 and again I have to carry my partner.. Kris Von Hammer. well it better be HAMMER TIME and I'm not talking about MC HAMMER. VV and Shank gonna be tough but we got this ;)

and to tristan slater... hope you found that key ;)

HAIL SATAN!

great show guys!!

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SUCK... MY... DICK!

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#9
11-03-2019, 09:44 PM

Yey again this stupid shit hole of a place screwed me out win. Shoulda know that. May be the the xwf and wrestling are not the greatest of choice after all. Hhhuuummm?

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NOW BE MY BITCH ASS HOLE!!!!!!!!!!
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#10
11-03-2019, 09:51 PM

"Look at that. Who fucking called that shit? I did. I said being strong isn't everything. And look at who was right, me."


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"I know. Humble, aren't I?"


"Guess someone needs to train more..."



OOC - Great show! I loved it! And about the match summary. To whom ever was supposed to write it and Atticus, I ain't mad at cha. (Cue Tupac, lol) Shit happens, life happens, it's all gravy baby. On my end anyway. I can't speak for Rebel Star, she's a cunt. Wait. What?

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#11
11-03-2019, 11:11 PM

Drezdin, I told you The Crimson Dong was coming for you... and look what happened! HA!

You never were any match for him... not now and not years ago! He has donginated you at every turn.

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#12
11-03-2019, 11:19 PM

"Shane. Can you please stop sending Ezra, explicit texts? You're making my brother uncomfortable."

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