I don't know what Vinnie Lane has been smokin', but he needs to lay off it. Dude's got the former Xtreme Champion(future TV Title holder) in the OPENING MATCH of Anarchy?!?!?! What the fuck?! I do Vinnie the favor of appearing on HIS show, putting MY body on the line, and THIS is how he repays me?!?!? What a piece of shit. I allowed him onto MY War Games team at the last minute, gave him another moment in the spotlight, and he gives me Barney fucking Green!?!?! If anything, I SHOULD be in the Main Event competing for an Internet Title shot, but I'm gonna assume I'm not because he knows I'm gonna win the TV AND Tag Team Championships. That is the ONLY excuse for excluding me from that match! Too bad there's no excuses for the rest of this injustice!
I get it, my win/loss record on Anarchy hasn't been great, all loss no win, but that doesn't mean everything else I've done just gets tossed out the window! I may have lost the Xtreme Championship, but that was to a member of the XWF Hall of Legends! Just like my match with Robert Main, that loss was basically a win. Everyone knows Thad Duke is only TV Champion because of Mastermind, and don't even get me started on my win against Zane Norrison getting overturned. If you smell anything funny, don't worry, it's just all the bullshit in my life as of late.
People think I'm making excuses for my misfortunes, but I'm only speaking the truth. If they don't believe me, they can go through the XWF's video library and see the facts anytime they wish! Whether it was EDWARD screwing me over in my debut or Mastermind against Duke, there's always been someone trying to drag me down. I shouldn't HAVE to prove myself, but yet I do.
I'm not gonna prove myself against Barney Green, not to anyone else, anyway. To them Barney and I are one in the same, two losers in desperate need of a victory. The whole point of us facing off was to save one of our careers, while finishing off the other's. They were wrong about us, though, except for one thing: we ARE one in the same.
Both of us were underdogs our whole careers, guys who nobody believed in except for ourselves. And despite all of the doubt, all the hate the wrestlers who believed they were above us tossed our way, we managed to become World Heavyweight Champion. Nobody could take that away from us. At one point, in our respective promotions, we were the pinnacle of the sport. Robert Main, The Engineer, Unknown Soldier, Big D, Barney Green. Sing that to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire," call it "We're All Main Eventers," and watch it go to #1 on iTunes in a week!
Barney, I know no-one gives you the credit you're due, I'm in the same exact boat. From being World Champion to opening XWF's version of Sunday Night Heat, the two of us have certainly fallen from grace. We've both had our taste of the big time, but only one of us has a chance to make it back up there. And as great of a story as it would be('The Miraculous Comeback of Barney Green'), I just can't allow that to happen at my expense.
I'm not worried about you pulling one over on me, Barn. Though I respect you and the things you've done in the past, it doesn't amount to much nowadays. You haven't won a Championship since you've been back, not even the Heavymetalweight Title. Even that pinecone fucker, Jim Jimson, managed to pull that shit off! But you, Barney Green, you couldn't even win a belt called the I.D.I.O.T. Championship, which is ironic because it sounds right up your alley! The whole reason you like chicks with dicks is because you want your girls to have some balls, since you don't have any!
Whatever legacy Barney Green may have had will be put to rest come Anarchy. When people ten years from now think of Barney Green, they will remember two things: that he became World Champion in a match he didn't even WIN; and that Big D put him down like the kid who shot Old Yeller. Well, it's time to take Ole Barney out back and put some silver between his eyes. It's not that we don't love him, it's that we can't bear to see him limp through life like a wounded animal anymore. That scene from XWF's 20th Anniversary Show always sticks out in my mind when I think of Barney's career. He's backstage after a loss(of course) and enjoying the catering to take his mind off of how much of a failure he is. All of a sudden Shave
kicks his ass and after HE'S through, Michael Graves finished the job and left Barney passed out in his dinner. Probably not the first time THAT'S happened, though.
Barney, I don't wanna sound clichè, but your time is up, my time is now! Even though you CAN see me, that doesn't mean you can beat me. I may not be the fastest wrestler around but, compared to you, I'm The Flash. Every step you take will be two steps behind my own, you'll be blocking after I've already struck you. And before you know it, you'll be waking up only to find that, once again, Barney Green has ended up on the losing side of a wrestling match. Shocking. And after I destroy you, maybe Vinnie will realize he shouldn't book the biggest name on his show as a curtain jerker. Because I am above Barney Green, and I'm certainly above the entire Anarchy roster, including Loverboy himself. And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!
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