Madison Dyson I would like to introduce myself. My name is Thunder Knuckles. You see i had my name changed legally. Would you like to know what Thunder Knuckles means? Fuck it, I’ll tell you anyways.The act of two lesbians forcefully, but lovingly, inserting the knuckles and or fist into any orifice of choosing. I really like that because i see myself as a lesbian because i love women. attractive women, not so attractive women, skinny, fat, name’em I love’em. With some exceptions like you. Because I don't need any thunder down on my number, if you know what I mean. That means S.T.D.’s on my penis, incase you weren’t smart enough to pick that up. You see i'm going to forcefully but lovingly strip you of that Federweight championship when I verbally shove my fist down your gullet.

I'd like to tell you where i'm from since I have the time.

The GREAT state of Ohio. Where the best athletes in the world come from or learn how to be great, just by staying there. I’d really like to say someone good has come from “Unknown parts” but that's just a nice way of saying gypsy trash. Have some fucking pride and find out where your from ingrate.

With my introduction to you done It’s time to actually get down to it. The self proclaimed “Queen of shit talk”. Was once a bombshell champion but now just a bomb. I haven't even had my first real match yet and see what kinda hack this twat is. She should legally change her name to “Shock-value word-salad”. When she talks trash it's mostly. “If I throw enough shit on the wall, something has to stick, right?!”

It’s normally beneath me to resort to political jokes, because I witnessed Donald Trump get elected. In your case however I’ll make an exception. Like you the republican party is getting older and more and more senile. As evident by those speed bags you call tits.Your tube-top won't be able to hide that forever. Your fans memories living in a time when you were pretty. Which is no longer the case. That's okay though like most older women in this business. Plastic surgery can rejuvenate your career, but it already looks like you went there. I definitely don't sound like any of your ex’s here because those soy-boy beta cucks would never tell you how old your looking. That's not fair though you probably didn't start talking to those pathetic fucks until the ones that weren’t soy-boy beta cucks jumped ship when they realized you were as baron as the Sahara Desert.

Beyond the obvious work you've had done over the many years you've been on this planet. If you scrape off the 20 lbs of makeup you put on to hide even further age. You could probably completely paint Leonardo de Vinci’s “Mona Lisa”. This bitch without her “face on” looks like Vanessa Redgrave.

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KICK OUT LIKE A BOSS!

Madison leaps to her feet.

Hi Thunder Knuckles, let me introduce MY-self! I'm "Better Than You." HOOOOOLEEEEE CHRIST, where do I start with this soft dick date rape of a human being?

How you gonna roll up on me and call me a hack, when you're like the one billionth unimaginative dipshit to make fun of a girl for her looks and her tits? I mean, I know you've got to throw out some kind of limp wristed slap of a verbal attack to sublimate the overwhelming avalanche of lusty thoughts you're having at the sight of this slammin' body, but maybe try to rub more than a couple brain cells together before you evacuate all that shit from your mouth.

Oh, oh! But this motherfucker is crowing about being from Ohio! FUCKIN' OHIO! The East Coast's hot take on flyover country! Listen you country bumpkin, heehaw strumming, weak chinned, overdoing it on Schlitz's at the Nascar race and getting ejected with your piss laden cargo shorts around your ankles wad of aborted medical waste, no one cares where you're from, who you are, or why you named yourself after a sex act you pleasure yourself to on PornHub 12 times a day. Seriously, give it a rest, your dick must look like an angry red pencil by now. I say "pencil" because the needle like nature of your penis is why you need to resort to PornHub so much in case you HURR DURR LET'S EXPLAIN JOKES UNTIL THEY'RE NOT FUNNY weren't smart enough to pick that up.

By the way, negative one million points for being so creatively lazy you just cribbed the description for Thunder Knuckle straight from Urban Dictionary. It's like two results down on a Google Search you colossal knob you thought I wouldn't know? Christ! She holds up her phone, after having just performed the search.

So, yeah, I got a prediction for you. Let's go old school.



I predict you're gonna last here a couple months, give or take. I predict you will continue to prove yourself to be a hollow, one note, on the level of a knock-knock joke, running gag with an expiration date of YESTERDAY until you get bored with all the losing and absolutely no one taking you seriously and piss off back to Ohio to fuck your underage cousin with a chest as flat as that "bomb" joke you laid on me. I predict you are going to be so spectacularly unimpressive that you won't even make it into the XXX Joke Wrestler Hall of UnLegends that James Raven will hold next year after losing a drunken bet to Shane to see who can shove an unpeeled potato up their asshole the fastest.


Yes, that's right. People will actually remember names like Mingermind, and Bilbo, and Chasm before they remember YOU. What a sad state of affairs. What a sad person. What a sad pin attempt.

Go gargle some bleach asswipe.

Now, now there you go again with throwing shit and hoping it sticks. You think because I'm new in XWF your just gonna roll over me because you have history. Like I said before you have a lot of history and I don't want any part of that. Gross! Old baggy women, you don't even specify your birthday. Just so no one sees how old you really are...be honest with me. You're in your what? Mid to late 40’s trying to still walk around all sexy. Thinking you still got “it”. I hate to break it to ya sister. You don't!

By the way nice tattoo. I noticed you don't always sport it. Did you get that from the dollar store for that photoshoot?

I got an idea for you Shock-value Word-salad instead of trying to defend the Federweight championship, that you clearly lost here today. You become a manager where your role will suit you. You can be a loud obnoxious old lady for someone with talent. Not me of course, I'm just the guy who put you where you belong...in parts unknown.

Turns out you were an Xtreme Champ too! For someone obviously so “gifted” you go after the 24/7 championships a lot. Less effort, less reward right. Me personally, i'm here to make xbux. If I gotta run my mouth to do it, so be it. I'm going for a maximum reward this time. Xbux and I took down Shock-value Word-Salad “The Queen of shit talk”.

Someday Shock-value Word-salad will understand that when the men who leave money on the nightstand aren't ex’s, but rather, John’s who just got a scratch at no amount of topical cream or penicillin will cure.

I’ll probably vacate the Federweight championship to the next person who comes along because I don't have use for them really. They just collect dust on my mantel. I normally just pay someone to come to my house to dust the many trophies that I've collected throughout the years, but ever since Alejandra was deported. I have no one to do it. Maybe if you don't take my advice about managing. You could come work for me dusting my trophies. It’ll give me the drive to keep a hold of the Federweight championship so you could still be close to it every day, I know how much it means to you. I’ll put it next to my 5 Northwestern Ohio hide and go seek championship trophies. Since I'm such a nice guy. I'll even pay ya X10 a week. How does that sound?



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Actually, I think I'm gonna roll over you because you suck harder than a Saigon whore offered a free meal.

Hey, thanks for noticing my new tat though! Although, considering that's coming from a guy you just KNOW has a Monster Energy tattoo somewhere on his body maybe I shouldn't be all that impressed.

So I got some news for you, dipshit. I WAS a manager. In fact, not only was I a manager, but I was the greatest XWF manager of all fucking time, carrying The Engineer to the longest X-Treme Championship reign of all time AND the longest Universal Champion reign of all time. Meanwhile Mr. Ain't Done Shit is gonna sit there and play like he knows me while proving he can't be bothered to get the most basic of facts straight. You....fucking.....remedial.

You want to hear some more facts about me? How about the fact that I have held 11 different championships across four different promotions when I wasn't being the world's most incredible manager. And that's not even counting my 24/7 runs here. And while I'm doing all your work for you, how about this: in the 10 plus years I've been in this business I've FORGOTTEN more successes than you will EVER HAVE. So if we're measuring dicks and counting trophies, let's just say I'm packing 12 inches and your micropeen is barely visible amongst your uncultivated forest of natty pubes.

Last but certainly not least, let's talk about just how stupid you really are. Let's talk about how your stated reason for doing any of this is X-BUX. Earth to backwoods mongoloid, but you DO realize that's just a company incentive to buy XWF merch right? I mean, who am I to judge if you want to be rolling in Gilly's used dildo collection or whatever the fuck else Vinnie threw up in the XWF shop while tripping balls and oiling up his lungs with black market Captain Crunch flavored vape juice. I figured I would just try to warn you you shouldn't try paying for next jerk off booth session at Chuck's Fuck and Suck with company Monopoly money.

Oh! Hey, lo and behold! I just got a notification that we get to do this all over again at Centurion's Shove It! How about that, you'll be the first person in XWF history to have the dishonor of losing to me twice in a row! So save your X-bux and pay someone else to dust your numerous runner up in the Special Olympics trophies, because lord knows it's gonna need it. That shelf sure as hell isn't seeing any new additions anytime soon.

3? See you on shove-it?

Kick out.

You so dumb you don't even know when to keep your mouth shut.

I'm learning as I go sweetheart. Whats your excuse?

Sorry boo, I got so overpowered by the stench of Axe body spray that you used to try to cover up the fact that somehow your entire body smells like unwashed genitalia that I plum forgot to kick out. That's okay though, I'm quite confident that the verbal castration I just inflicted on your tired, barren, unused balls will more than make up for it.

I shut you down every which possible way. You came into this not having a fucking clue what you were talking about, to the point you didn't even know I was a manager for TWO GODDAMN YEARS to a guy who was consistently in the main event. Here's an X-Buck for your troubles though. Save up enough and maybe you too can own Scully's gene. It's just got to be a step up from where you're at now.

Thanks for the Xbuc! it's all starting to stack up now. However, you really need to get your act together. You almost looked foolish by a one-note country bumpkin. I mean that woulda been mortifying with all your accolades and all.

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Don't make the same mistake twice.

Okay, we've officially passed right on through from mildly annoying to outright SAD! You're not even trying anymore, yet here you are still vainly attempting to suckle at the teat of some semblance of fucking validation.

THIS. IS. NOT. YOURS.

YOU. HAVE. LOST.

You wanna keep propping up the rotting corpse of this challenge? Heh. Be my guest! But at some point you have just GOTTA know it's diminishing returns and that this is just gonna start making you look really, really bad. Oh wait? Did you see that?

Yeah, we JUST passed that point. YOU LOOK AWFUL. And I'm not just talking your usual, look in the mirror and bear witness to the middle aged ruination of your already ugly bumpkin face "look awful", I'm talking on the level of how people view you as a human being and as a competitor. You're slowing your roll before you even threw it off park. What an absolute farce of a debut.

Now, I feel like I'm forgetting something. Hmmmmm......


The oven? No...no....

The electric bill? Please, I have staff for that shit.

Oh yeah!

KICK OUT!

Figured I'd give ya a smidge of false hope there. Bugger off, Joe Dirt.

Joe Dirt is a real good friend of mine actually! I wasn't even trying the last few times. just wanted to make sure you remembered how to kickout, without someone basically telling you too. I'll see you on Shove-it!...Shine my belt up for me.