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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy Results
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ANARCHY - 8/29/19
Author Message
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Offline
The Guy
*********
Administrators



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
08-31-2019, 06:54 AM







LIVE!!!




FROM THE AMSOIL ARENA IN DULUTH, MINNESOTA!




John Black
- vs -
Vita Valenteen







"The Lethal Beauty" Belladonna Lovely
- vs -
Mini Morbid







Ruby & Bobbi London
- vs -
Maxine & "The Amazing" Ashley Ackles
Mix-Match Tag!







Fuzz
- vs -
Barney Green
XWF Classic XX Special Honorary Match







Noah Jackson
- vs -
Mercury
- vs -
Rebel Star
- vs -
Big D
Elimination Style Fatal Fourway!







Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Zane Norrison
Non-Title Match!




Lights and pyro pop off as Anarchy hits the airwaves! Fans in the crowd holding up cardboard signs begging for Barney Green to fill them with babies or Vita Valenteen to get filled with babies or maybe Mini Morbid to actually BE a baby... people like babies in the Midwest, okay?

The camera finds Vinnie Lane sitting at his announce desk with a big two liter bottle of Ginger Ale and some lozenges next to him... he gots a sore widdle throat!


Vinnie Lane: "Welcome to ANARCHY ladies and gentlemen and it is DEFINITELY STILL THURSDAY!!!! The fans in Minnesota are some of the best in the world and we are proud to be here, so suck it, Sarah. I thought you liked places that snowed all year long? Whatever. Let's head the the ring and let me rest my poor sore throat!"





The lights go down, and smoke starts to rise out of the entrance way. Then the drum kicks in, and the lights come back on and we see JB walking down the entrance, as he heads to the ramp he talks smack to the camera. He then rolls into the ring, and goes to the middle buckle puts his fist in the air. Then he gets towards the middle of the ring and waits.




The opening riffs of “Highly Strung” begin to play as the crowd jumps to their feet in excitement. VV runs out onto the stage and and postures for the adorning crowd. She makes her way down the ramp, slapping the outreached hands of her fans along the way. VV the heads up the steps and runs along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV hops up and celebrates with the fans for a moment, pumping them up for the upcoming match. Finally, she settles into her corner and uses the ropes to loosen up as she waits for the match to begin.

Black was off to a quick start after locking up with VV and quickly pulling her head down into a side headlock. VV fought as best she could to free herself but it just wasn’t enough before she found herself on her back after being taken off her feet with a hip toss. He positioned himself on top of her with an arm still wrapped around her head. His other hand was free, but he found a good use for it and began pounding away at VV’s head with rapid punches. Back on his feet, Black wasn’t giving VV a single inch of room to get herself situated. After two stomps to her midsection, Black jumped straight into the air, only to come down with a leg drop right across her throat, pinning her head to the mat as her feet shot straight into the air.

After pulling VV back to her feet, Black backed her across the ring with multiple right hands until eventually her back was against the ropes. Locking onto her wrist, he pushed her against the ropes and then pulled her away before whipping her to the other side. As VV hit the ropes and began her return, Black took off running straight at her before leaping into the air and connecting with a dropkick than leveled her. As soon as VV hit the mat, she popped back to her feet. Moving in as quickly as he could, Black met her with a knee to the stomach, forcing her to buckle over from the impact. Locking an arm around her head, he then picked her up and over, dropped her on her back with a snap suplex. Standing tall, Black didn’t ease up, not for a single second. He stomped on her midsection a few more times before grabbing ahold of her arm and jerking her to her feet. Pulling her head between his legs, Black wrapped her up for what was next to come. VV had other plans, and being dropped on her head with a piledriver wasn’t one of them. She kicked her feet and caused Black to fall backwards. VV quickly jumped to her feet as Black pushed himself up but before he could stand, VV whipped around and wrapped her foot around his head with an enzuigiri.

The kick to the head was all VV needed to take control of the match and do what she does best. It didn’t keep Black down for long, but long enough for VV to get a firm grip on what was happening. Rushing in, she popped her foot up from the mat, planting it into the side of Black’s head. The sound of the impact echoed throughout the building. Black lunged towards her, only to find himself wrapped up and lifted off his feet. VV flipped him over to his back with a Northern Lights suplex. She even bridged it as the official raced over with the count.



1!













KICKOUT!


Black managed to get a shoulder up before the full two count and VV quickly rolled over to her stomach before pushing herself back to her feet. Pushing himself up, Black was nearly standing upright before VV connected with a high angled dropkick, knocking Black backwards and into the corner. Popping up from the mat, she rushed the corner, closing in with a running European uppercut that sent saliva from Black’s mouth flying out into the crowd. With Black in a daze, she then put on a clinic of kicks to his head. With one final kick to Black’s stomach, VV knocked him completely down to a seated position with his back to the corner. Back stepping to the center of the ring, VV then charged forward, jumping into the air feet first and hitting Black with a dropkick to the chest. Back on her feet, she pulled Black up to his before lifting him up and backing away from the corner. Slowly turning around, she dropped him across her knee with a side slam backbreaker.

Climbing the nearest corner, VV was taking things to new heights. At least until her world came crashing down after Black was back to his feet, diving to the ropes and throwing his arms over them. She lost her balance and shortly after fell to the outside of the ring, crashing hard against the floor. The official began his ten count but as soon as he reached three, Black was also out of the ring, forcing him to restart the count. Pulling VV up from the floor, Black then whipped her back first into the barricade at ringside. Unloading on her with rights from above, Black hit her a half dozen times before pulling her back to her feet. With the official’s count now reaching eight, Black walked VV back to the side of the ring before rolling her back in. Before he knew it the official was at nine and in the process of reaching ten. Sliding into the ring at the last possible split second, Black dodged a bullet and kept the match alive. On his feet, he backed up to the corner and climbed up backwards to the middle ropes. Leaping from the corner, he came down on VV’s chest with an elbow drop! Making the cover, Black had her shoulders down to the mat as the official raced in with the count.


1!










Tw–NO! Kick out!

VV even managed to push Black entirely off of her.

Although he came up short, Black wasn’t giving up. He was back on his feet in no time and back to attacking VV with a couple more stomps onto her midsection. Pulling her to her feet, Black pulled her head between his legs once again. This time he was determined to drop her on her head with a piledriver. He lifted her completely upside down and then dropped her flat on her head. He shot to his feet and turned to the ropes behind him. Coming back on the rebound, he lept through the air and crashed down with an elbow drop across the side of her knee. He then hooked her leg and went to end things with a Boston leglock! She was down, but she was far from out. The official was on point, in position and asking VV if she wished to continue. VV refused to quit, which upset Black and caused him to rear back and apply more pressure to the hold. VV left out a scream of agony, but even still refused to quit. Black continued to work the knee, but VV set her sites on the ropes. They were inches away, but it might as well have been miles. She reached out, but came up short. Black seeing this decided to fall back onto her, bending her leg in an unnatural position. VV screamed out again, but even still refused to submit. With her right hand, she reached for the ropes again, but was still inches away from breaking the hold. Desperately, she began to push with her free leg and eventually, she managed a tight grip on the bottom rope!

Black quickly released the hold and jumped to his feet to continue to assault. After a few stomps for good measure, Black pulled VV up to her feet and threw lefts and rights, not giving VV a chance to fire back with any of her own. Going for the kill shot, Black swung with all his might for her head. It was a swing and a miss as VV ducked underneath his arm and stepped in behind him. Quick on his feet, Black turned around, but VV took it upon herself to take full control of the matchup. After a quick one-two kick combination to Black’s legs, VV turned to the ropes and as she came back on the rebound, she took Black off his feet and flipped him entirely with a running lariat. Pushing himself to his feet, he didn’t notice VV positioning herself on the apron. Black stood up and stumbled about. By the time that he realized where VV was, it was too late.

EAT DEFEAT!

Black had been leveled with the patented springboard dropkick. VV quickly moved in and grabbed one of his legs and she rolled up his body for the cover.





1!


























2!


























KICKOUT!

VV knew that she almost had him and what it would take to officially seal the deal and put him away for good. She paced the ring, watching Black as he slowly began to climb to his feet. As soon as he got to one knee, she rushed in, sliding feet first and connecting with a forearm smash to his face.

Instead of going for the pin, VV was back on her feet. She paced back and forth by Black, uncharacteristically yelling at him. She then went straight for him, hitting him across the head with a running knee. Pulling Black to his feet, VV hit him with back to back rights before locking onto his wrist and whipping him to the corner close by. He stumbled his way to the corner, but managed to remain on his feet. Crashing back first into the corner, Black bounced off stumbled right into VV’s waiting arms. She moved in to set up for the Canadian Destroyer, but as she did, Black wrapped his right arm around the back of her neck and surprised her with a small package!




1!































2!











































KICKOUT!!!!!



VV sat up and glared at John Black with a deep scowl. She jumped to her feet and immediately began laying into him with a flurry of stomps.

”It seems like that near fall as woken something inside of VV!”

She then grabbed his arm and locked in the Rings of Saturn! John Black tried to fight it off, but there was no way out and nowhere to go. As the official leaned in to ask, John Black refused to submit. Upon hearing this, VV reared back even harder, applying more pressure to the move and bending Black back into an unnatural position. Not able to fight the pain any longer, John Black had no choice but to submit!

*TAP*
*TAP*
*TAP*
*TAP*
*TAP*

The official quickly jumped to his feet and called for the bell!

*DING! DING! DING!*

VV held onto the hold even as the bell sounded. The official quickly moved in and warned her to release the hold. VV seemed to ignore him though as she was lost in her own anger over the near fall from the roll up. The official warned her again, this time threatening to reverse his decision. This seemed to catch her attention, and VV quickly released the hold.


Winner by Submission - Vita Valenteen!




Vinnie Lane: “Vita gets it done but…. Hey, what the crap?”


After the bell had rung, we see arena lights goes out. The fans are going crazy with what's going on, and the lights come back on with a man with a ski mask on and a hoodie in the ring holding a bat. The man goes towards John, and he backs away from the man. Then the man, turns to Vita and smashes the bat over her back.

The man kept hitting her back until she was kneeling on her knees. John then tries to confront the man, but gets pushed off. As Vita was reaching to the ropes, the man pulls her hair, and drags her to the middle of the ring. The man grabs a mic from the outside, as Vita is struggling to break this man's hold on her hair.

???: I am back from jail in London, and it's forever since i've stepped into a ring on the state side. I had been couped away from females, it wasn’t pleasant thing to experience. I missed having those moments with a female, and not being able to have my way with female’s feet!

The fans are almost getting restless on figuring who the man is, so the resorted into BOOs to pass the time. The man then points the bat to JB, and enforces him to get on his feet.

???: This man managed to bring me back home, this man invited me to join him on a huge announcement here tonight. Before we can settle this once and for all…

The man takes the Ski Mask off to reveal it’s Tommy with a devilish grin on his face. He then eyes on Vita, and smooches her face, and kisses her forehead and hits a Swinging reverse STO.

Tommy hands JB the mic to speak, as the BOO’s kept piling on.

JB: Oh chea’, me and Tommy have decided to become partners. We are tired of being regarded as nobodies among the flock of shiteaters. We feel like we are underappreciated, we feel like we aren’t as good as the APEX down to the freaking Sugay Sisters. After tonight, there’s gonna be some shit happening in the land of Xtreme.

Tommy lifts Vita, and pushes her into JB who ends up getting her a Torcher Rack into a DDT. Both men shake their hands, and JB hands Tommy back the mic, as JB pulls out a flag with “T/H/U/G/S” embroiled on it with the XWF logo X’ed out.

Tommy: Tonight we are hear to announce that The Hated Underappreciated Goons are going to war to out all the opps. Me and JB aren’t afraid of war and competition. So XWF, you guys have been on alert, it’s time for a change!

Then both men leave the ring, as the EMT check up on Vita as the next segment occurs.


Vinnie Lane: “Not cool JB! You’re lucky this is the LFL offseason or I’d be real upset! Maybe as upset as Vita seems right now… huh… she’s been a little different lately… oh well! As an American it is my duty to ignore any signs of deteriorating mental health and move on like it’s business as usual!”


“I can’t believe this, this is so damn unfair, I mean, this is a fudging conspiracy against us!” Ashley Ackles complained as the blue and white masked powerhouse looked over to her smaller best friend and partner.

The two were set to be opponents in a tag team match and it went without saying that neither person was happy about it. “I mean, what are we going to do? I mean, I don’t want to wrestle you and you don’t want to wrestle me...maybe we can say that I got food poisoning?” Ashley scrambled to think of ways to weasel out of having to fight her best friend.

Ruby put her hands on her hips and sighed.

“I know what you mean, Ash old buddy. It’s like Vinnie is trying to flip with us, tell you what! Luckily, Bobbi’s given us an easy way out by boasting that she can actually beat you and Maxine in a handicap match. I swear, that big ball o’ pent up anger and frustration is quite the character. For weeks and weeks, she’s done nothing but berate people, blindside people, spout incessant vulgarity on social media, and then she thinks I should just accept her with open arms like nothing happened? Flip that! You’re my partner up in here! And if she gets so mad online that she works her way into a handicap match, well then I have better things to do than stop her from digging her own grave. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, Yeah, you’re right! You deserve better than this, I’ve faced Bobbi before and I’ve got no problem ending her again, also, her arrogance is going to be the downfall of her and then she’ll have nobody to cry and complain to on Twitter.” Ashley mocked as she pretended to cry before letting out a malicious snicker.

“But don’t worry, I’ll make sure that she doesn’t roll out of the ring and try to take a shot at you, Rubs’...you are going to be at ringside, yes?” Ashley asked with a raised eyebrow as the taller young woman warmed up in preparation for her handicap match against her arch-enemy in XWF.

Ruby, still clad in her more casual wrestling outfit as opposed to the banana-lime superhero suit, put a hand on Ash’s shoulder.

“Not to worry, bud. Of course I’ll be there, to cheer you on. And Max too, I guess. After all, we don’t want to risk Maxine turning on you, leaving you in a two-on-one situation. Because despite Bobbi saying she’d gladly even take the three of us on, I’ve no doubt she’ll try and turn this situation to her favor. Besides… if the Anarchy brass thinks that we’ll just stand here and let them tear our team apart, they’ve got another thing coming. And if Vinnie has something to say about me not tagging with Bobbi, then I have three words for him: This Is Anarchy!”

“Darn right this is Anarchy!” Ashley added on, getting fired up a bit as she continued to stretch in their locker-room. “We’re trying our hardest to make this a family friendly environment and all that’s happening is we’re getting out efforts thrown back into our faces. We’re trying to rid this promotion of vulgarity and scumbags...well, you know what? Rubes?”

Ashley rolled her neck a bit “I’m gonna make an example out of Bobbi and I don’t even need Maxine there!” as Ashley suddenly screamed in frustration at the situation and punched a locker in frustration, leaving an indentation in the metal locker as she wrung her fist a bit and said to the camera with a fire in her eyes.

“See that locker?! That’s what I’m gonna do to Bobbi London’s face!”

“Welll, okay. Go for it, bud.”

As a fuming Ashley walked out of the locker, Ruby looked at the indentation and wrote a quick note with her name and address, offering to pay for damages. She then quickly followed her partner towards the ring, only to bump into the self-proclaimed Kaiju in the doorway. Wondering what had taken her partner, she’d quickly retraced her steps.

Ashley walked back and tore the note off the locker before saying to her smaller friend. “No...I did the damage, I’m paying for it.” as she, instead, scribbled her phone number and name and address on the note. She wasn’t about to let Ruby pay for something that she did before she walked out to the ring with Ruby, for real this time. And Ruby had a small skip in her step, glad that Ash was learning when it came to doing the right thing.



"The Lethal Beauty" Belladonna Lovely
- vs -
Mini Morbid





Strobe lights start flashing down the walkway as Belladonna Lovely, barefooted and wearing a black bikini top with silver Skulls and Crossbones on it and a short purple mini skirt, makes her way to the ring. She is carrying Dolly in the crook of 1 arm and has a white Straight Jacket is draped over her shoulders. Belladonna climbs up on the apron and sits Dolly on 1 of the corner turnbuckles before flipping over the Top Rope. She takes the Straight Jacket off her shoulders and holds it up in the air before tossing it into the corner that Dolly is in. Belladonna then bends over seductively and kisses her hand lowering it to her Butt as a load Thunder goes off and Lighting flashes at the 4 corners of the ring. She then sits in the corner with Dolly and waits for the match to begin.




The lights go out…the crowd screams with anticipation for who is to enter! The rhythmic drumming sounding like a battle march gets louder. The lights slowly come on turning the arena red.

Double bass starts drilling as Aeon’s - God Gives Head in Heaven roars over the loud speakers!

Mini Morbid Angel storms from the backstage area and flexes his massive arms for the crowd who screams with excitement!

Mini Morbid stomps down to the ring and steps over to the top rope and walks to the center of the ring and flexes again!

Mini Morbid came out of his corner on fire, attacking Belladonna quickly and effectively with rapid punches and kicks to the groin and legs that left her no time to react to. After connecting with a solid right straight to the box, Mini Morbid then stepped in beside her before leaping up and lifting her into the air and slamming her to the mat with a choke slam. Climbing on top of Belladonna, Mini Morbid unloaded with a series of lefts and rights, keeping her grounded as he went crazy with a ground and pound. Pulling her to her feet, Mini Morbid then lifted her up once more before dropping her across his knee with a backbreaker that somehow didn’t break his tiny knee in the process. Not letting her fall to the mat, Mini Morbid lifted her up as he rose to his feet. Turning her around, he then stuffed her head in between his crotch and dropped her on her head with a Pedigree. Feeling confident that he had this one in the bag, Mini Morbid laid on top of her for the pin.






1!








































Tw-KICKOUT!

A few minutes went by as Mini Morbid remained in control of the match, at least until Belladonna turned things around. Pulling Belladonna’s head down with a side headlock, Mini Morbid almost took her down to the mat with a running bulldog, that is until Belladonna countered and lifted him into the air, dropping him to his back with a suplex. Crawling over Mini Morbid, Belladonna went on the attack, hitting him with multiple forearm strikes across the face. Pushing herself up, she hopped over him and ran to the ropes. As she came back on the rebound, she jumped up and as she came down, she laid her leg across Mini Morbid’s throat, pinning his head to the mat as his feet shot straight into the air from the leg drop. She didn’t stop there, not by a long shot. Back on her feet, it was as if we were watching a reply as she hit Mini Morbid with a second leg drop. Still not finished, she was on her feet once more and began to guide Mini Morbid to his feet only to level him with a stiff knee straight to the face! Morbid dropped like a sandbag and Belladonna decided to take a break from the action to excite the crowd.

Pulling Mini Morbid up from the mat, Belladonna locked an arm around his head before running forward and dragging Mini Morbid along for the ride. Leaping forward, Belladonna slammed Mini Morbid’s face into the canvas with a running bulldog, the same move that he had tried for earlier. For the next few minutes in the match, Belladonna would find herself in full control, slowly working away at Mini Morbid with various moves that combined really did a number on him. After a few clubs to Mini Morbid’s head, she then whipped him to the ropes behind her. As he came back, he fell into her arms where she then lifted him off his feet. Spinning Mini Morbid in mid air and going for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, Beladonna was taken completely off guard as Mini Morbid countered with a tilt-a-whirl DDT! It wasn’t enough to keep her down, but it was more than enough to allow Mini Morbid to get back on his feet to catch a second wind without worry of Belladonna interrupting. Once semi-charged, Mini Morbid lifted her up from the mat and drove her backwards, slamming her into the corner. Climbing the corner over her, Mini Morbid then rained down with repeated punches to her head, one by one the crowd counting along until finally reaching ten. Stepping down, Mini Morbid then pulled her away from the corner before ducking down and wrapping her up. Lifting Belladonna off her feet, Mini Morbid lifted her up above his head in an amazing show of strength and as the crowd let out an “ohhhhhh” and “awwwwww”, he planted her into the canvas with a press style Ace Crusher near the corner! He then reached deep into his tights and pulled out the severed cock of Peter Gilmour! Belladonna was aware enough to realize what was next, and she begged him off, but Mini Morbid shoved the well preserved cock in her mouth anyway. Belladonna soon began to lose consciousness and with her shoulders on the mat, the official moved in to count the fall!



1!














































2!





































3!!!


Winner by Pinfall - Mini Morbid!



Vinnie Lane: “The little bastard did it! Holy crap! I’ve never seen anyone as happy as Mini Morbid is right now, jumping up and down and… oh no, dude, don’t teabag her that’s… awwwwww mannnnn! Someone cut to some puppies or something!”




Ruby & Bobbi London
- vs -
Maxine & "The Amazing" Ashley Ackles
Mix-Match Tag!


Tag match time! But not just ANY tag match! This is “Vinnie MAY have been a LITTLE BIT high when he booked it!” tag match time. CUSTOM INTROS………...GO!

Some pretty cool guitars play throughout the Amsoil Arena which, lets face it, is pretty surprising, considering.

“Melody I think you've met your maker
Play another let me be the one”

The curtain opens up Ashley Ackles walks out! She doesn’t really do anything...just kinda smiles at everyone...but then the curtain opens behind her and Ruby walks about! Such solidarity! And Ruby

Just kinda walks down the ramp, too. Pretty boring entrances here, honestly. Maskless Ruby’s shine is severely dulled, but the Ruby Section...which is nearly the entire audience, to be honest, cheers for her mightily in hopes of helping her get back into her masked groove!

Some song from some chick who sings about pretty bland things considering her outward gimmick, though has been doing some KILLER things in the world of lounge singing in the last few years, begins to play and out walks THE MONSTER MAXINE. With massive arms and a face that could both cut glass AND stop a bull in its tracks, THE MONSTER MAXINE walks down the aisle with a slow and powerful grace. She’s not tall enough to step over the top rope like a true giant, or anything, but we’ll pretend for her sake. She appreciates it!

And then FINALLY! We get REAL entrance (seriously, lets update some freakin’ bios already, m’kay?) as the lights turned down in the arena and a single spotlight shows on the entranceway. There are a LOT of “cunts” said in this particular song as the XWF Internet Champion, Bobbi London, appears. There are SO many “cunts”

HOW MANY ARE THERE?

SO many that Noah is currently writing a STRONGLY worded letter to Vinnie over his bit being stolen. Strongly worded letter, INDEED! Anyway, the XWF INTERNET Championship (yes, I caught that, Ron) is snuggly around her waist and her 30 Second Promo Title was slung over her shoulder, and her “Welp, at least you tried!” ribbon for the UGWC Chickenwing Eating Championship is pinned to her thigh . The crowd cheers wildly as she produces a microphone once getting into the ring and she goes about her business, first pointing towards her own mismatched partner for the match.

“Oi, it’s yous girl Bobbi London in the place to be;
Theys booked a taggie team match, but its just gonna be me!
Ruby’s too much of a crybaby to wrestle as yous all can see;
So after I’s win by meself XWF can just pay me Ruby’s fee!”


Half the crowd does that “OHHHHHH!” thing from that gif of the black kid holding his cheeks and falling in front of the camera as Bobbi motions towards THE MONSTER MAXINE.

“Yeah, Maxie is me mate, but I’s still gonna smash;
Won’t see me cryin’ like some fake ‘ero trash!
She’ll still be me best mate after I’s drop ‘er and mash;
After the three count, we’ll ‘ave a laugh while counting our cash!”


She then turns to her fat-then thin-then fat-then fatter-then thin-did I miss any? opponent and rival.

“So let Ackles come at me again and I’s will put ‘er on her ass;
Obviously didn’t learn ‘er lesson, so it’s right back to butt kickin’ class!
She came at me proper for me title, she was a ‘ard fightin’ lass;
But all the fuckin’ crying about Ruby made me put ‘er on blast!”


Bobbi walks into the center of the ring.

“To ‘ell with Ruby and Ackles, Bobbi London is still on the ‘unt;
Vinnie booked me against me best mate, but I’s still didn’t front;
300 pounds of dead-ass sexy, the Internet Champ will always stunt;
Bout to fight two bitches all alone, without that cereal pushin’ cunt!”


She drops the mic.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

The crowd explodes into such an array of applause, cheers, and declarations of love and lust that the entire building implodes to the point where it actually comes BACK to itself in a way that the lovechild of Einstein and Hawking spontaneously came into being.

DING DING DING!

Bobbi London and Ashley Ackles start things off as their partners go out onto the apron. The two behemoth beauties circle one another for a few seconds, each looking to find an advantage over their Internet Championship rival. Ashley shoots in and Bobbi

Tags out!

Ruby’s eyes are wide as Bobbi suddenly slaps her on her shoulder and makes her the legal woman in the match! Bobbi laughs, her tummy giving Santa pause in competition for bowls of jelly, as Ruby is forced to enter the ring and face her own partner/cohort/assistant/occasional THOT. But Ruby, proud and courageous Ruby… turns and explains to Bobbi that she’s just here for emotional support! Bobbi’s jowls jiggle in stupor as Ruby tags her back in and drops to the floor, clapping and banging the apron for EVERYONE to do well!

Bobbi is confused, but she tries to take the high road and extends her hand towards Ashley for a handshake. Now, this SHOULDN’T be an issue, right? Ashley is a good guy? Superhero, or whatever? But lets be honest here: She is CONSTANTLY calling people names, doing underhanded things, and being a bully online. “Hero,” ya know? And Bobbi is probably too dumb to understand how Ruby’s partner isn’t exactly the person she thinks she is and this will likely end up with Bobbi being the real rube and getting sucker punched.

Ready for it?

Here we go:

Bob extends her hand.

There is a twinkle in the eyes of Ashley behind her mask.

She extends her own hand.

And shakes it! DANG! The match-writer got SWERVED!

They lock up and Bobbi slides underneath Ashley’s tie-up and immediately slips down and takes her over and onto her back with a schoolboy rollup! She’s going for the one-move finish like Ruby did to John Black last week! Did Ruby teach her that????

1!





Ashley’s arms are flailing!







2!!











She can’t get up! Her shoulders are pinned! Bobbi’s angle of the move is FLAWLESS!










THRE-

Broken up by THE MONSTER MAXINE! A clubbing forearm from THE MONSTER MAXINE drives down into Ruby’s head and breaks up the pin. The referee...whichever one it is...goes to get into the face of THE MONSTER MAXINE and quickly changes his/her mind. THE MONSTER MAXINE politely steps back over the top rope and to her corner with the grace of a gazelle as Ashley gets to her feet. She looks down at Ruby with a stern look on her face, clearly not happy with having almost lost the match in such decisive fashion. She then slowly, ever so slowly grabs Ruby by her hair and-

“GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUUUUU-UUUUUN”

Hold on, getting a text from Vinnie…

Vinnie LAME LOL: “FFS J$ THE WHOLE SHOW IS WAITING FOR YOU AND YOUR STUPID ENTRANCES THAT EVERYONE SKIPS ANYWAY!”

Jeez, boss. FINE.

Fast forward to the most INSANE match you have EVER seen!

HIGHLIGHTS!

- Ashley blasts Bobbi with six rolling suplexes ending with a super brainbustah! Don’t ask how they ended up on the top rope

- THE MONSTER MAXINE flawlessly transitions through each of Malenko’s 1000 moves with a fluidity that makes Usher blush

- Bobbi performs nine...count ‘em NINE...dives to the outside in a row, with the crowd counting every Tope con HERO SANDWICH as she flips over the top rope

- Bobbi drops the SICKEST lines you have EVER heard and gets a record deal from (insert name of rapper that I have never heard of but is completely legit)!

- Noah shows up before winning his match later (maybe?) and says “CUNT!” a few times

- BigD shows up with FOUR belts this time in order to keep up the hope that Noah won’t win said match and declares himself the FACE of Anarchy even though he compLETELY blew the opportunity to call himself “Big DAnarchy”

- The Hooded Man loses his shit ANOTHER 12 times on the boards while everyone laughs at him

- Belladonna came out to say that she is now with Mini Morbid’s child by the God and Leader of Mini Morbidatoniaville is demanding a paternity test because he ain’t about dat gold digger shit

- Noah was there to give him Maury’s number

FINALLY the ring is cleared of the CHAOS that is ANARCHY. Ruby and Ashley are both on the outside of the ring, bleeding and unconscious. Ruby MIGHT even be missing an eye! The Mad Rhymes Protection Agency is celebrating in the ring! The Internet Champion raises her hand up high to THE MONSTER MAXINE and they have an EPIC high five! Bobbi gives her partner and best mate a big thumbs up! THE MONSTER MAXINE returns it!

And then turns the thumb upside down.

Uh oh.

Bobbi’s face falls into confusion as THE MONSTER MAXINE picks her up in one swoop, holds her in the air, and then drops to the mat with the Maxed Out! Maxine then places a single fingernail of her left pinkie finger on Bobbi’s chest and the ref hits the mat!

One!

Two!

Three!

A stunned and confused Bobbi looks at her buddy and THE MONSTER MAXINE makes a slow and deliberate gesture around her waist.

THE MONSTER MAXINE wants a title shot!

Winners by Pinfall - Ashley Ackles and THE MONSTER MAXINE



Vinnie Lane: “Folks, I have a huge surprise for you here tonight! In honor of the 20 year reunion show for XWF coming up, please give your attention to my good buddy Steve Sayors as he welcomes a special guest!”

After a brief interlude the scene opens up back at ringside. The ring is empty save for Steve Sayors who stands in the middle of the ring on his own. He holds a microphone in his hand, while the crowd talk among themselves, waving signs as they wait for the next match.

Steve Sayors: Ladies and gentlemen, if I could get your attention please.

The crowd fall quiet - mostly.

Steve Sayors: As you all know, we're just three short days away from the XX reunion show. We've seen some people at the show already make themselves known, but there is one face who's been quiet until recently. I've been asked by the XWF to arrange for an in-ring interview with him, and we're going ahead with that right now.

Those in the know with the XWF rumormill suddenly cheer in excitement, while others are a little more confused.

Steve Sayors: The man I'm talking about is none other than XWF Legend, former Universal Champion, Lord of the Ring and X-Mas X-Treme Winner Steve Jason.

The cheers from the crowd get louder now. Sayors, apparently aware he won't have much longer to talk over the cheers, cuts right to the chase.

Steve Sayors: Steve, if you would come out to the ring, please.


As if on cue, "Midlife Crisis" by Faith No More plays over the speakers and the crowd bursts into a thunderous round of applause as Steve Jason emerges onto the stage of Thursday Anarchy for the first time in almost a decade, dressed in a short-sleeved black velvet shirt, tan chino shorts and skate shoes. The former Universal Champion looks a bit more touched by age than he was before, with strands of gray at his temples and a grizzled short beard over his historically clean-shaven face, but he moves with the same confident stride of years past. As the crowd cheer, his lips quirk up in the odd smirk, but he wastes little time entering the ring. He shakes Sayors' hand, then stands to one side as his music fades, replaced by the excited buzz of the crowd, along with the odd 'SJ-SJ-SJ!' chant from some of the more savvy fans. Sayors waits for an opening, then takes one and speaks.

Steve Sayors: Steve, thank you for taking the time out to join us today. I know you're busy preparing for your showdown with THE BRAND so you spending your time here is appreciated. As you requested, we're hosting you here at Anarchy, right here in this ring before the entire crowd. If you'd like to share a few words?[/b]

SJ nods slightly as an attendant ringside passes him a microphone. When he speaks it's a measured yet powerful baritone, his light Australian accent punctuating his words.

Steve Jason: It's been too long, Anarchy.

The crowd burst into cheers at that.

Steve Jason: When the XWF approached my people to get one final interview on the record, originally they wanted a sit-down interview. Better for the acoustics, they said. Less chance of some psycho trying to jump me in the ring, they said. But if this is to be my last address to the XWF- and there's going to be little if any time for that during XX, I suspect - then I wanted it to be here before the crowd that's supported me through most of my years here. And I also wanted to pick a sentimental place of value for it. After all, it was here on Anarchy some 17 years ago today that a 25-year-old XWF rookie named Steve Jason signed a deal with the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. It's fitting that it's also here on Anarchy that a 41-year-old XWF Legend named Steve Jason makes his farewell statements.

The crowd cheers again at that. Sayors intervenes now, standing opposite Steve so as to address him while the crowd falls into a quiet buzz.

Steve Sayors: Let's get it started, then. Alright, Steve. I suppose the first question we all want to know is what have you been up to for the past two years? We last saw you at the semi-official XWF Reunion show, where you and Heather Halliwell-Lasiewicz fought against John Gambino and Wilod Orchid in a barn-burner. You dropped off the radar pretty fast after that so the fans are curious. What's been happening?

Steve Jason: Fair question. I wish I could wow you with some exciting adventure, Sayors, but the honest to god truth is I've been fairly low-key. I've been doing some philanthropic work mainly. The world's been pretty good to me, so it's time to return the favor. Other than that, I've got a family to look after now, so I'm taking advantage of the time to really get into the parenting thing.

Steve Sayors: Forgive me for saying it, but I don't really see you as the soccer mom type.

The crowd burst into laughter at that. Steve himself seems slightly amused, cocking his head.

Steve Jason: I probably deserved that after eighteen years of being a bit of a dick to you.

Steve Sayors: Don't worry about it. It was all in fun.

Sayors shuffles his papers, moving to another question.

Steve Sayors: So I guess the question on most people's minds is- why come back now? We saw you on Reunion, but that wasn't officially under the XWF umbrella, and we all know that you've been very estranged from the federation during the era. To put it quite simply, nobody was really sure you were ever going to even enter friendly relations with the XWF again.

Steve draws a breath in, measuring his response carefully.

Steve Jason: Look I'm not going to mince words. There was a lot of bad blood in the early part of this decade. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still think the day Shane finally faceplants into a speeding truck would be a net gain for humanity...

There are a chorus of shocked hisses and 'oooh's from the crowd - and a few cheers. Sayors grimaces at that.

Steve Jason: ...but outside of that, I have no real ill will for the current day XWF. Atticus Black, Vinnie Lane- hey, speak of the devil.

Steve smirks and inclines his head at Vinnie Lane himself at the announce table before continuing.

Steve Jason: Bob Williams, Theo Pryce, I've got time for those guys and I don't have any real problem with their handling of the place. Hell, I approve of a lot of it. I've spent some of the time between preparing for this match watching promos and matches for the XWF and I've liked what I've seen. What I'm about to say might get me into trouble with some of the internet wrestling community, but there are a lot of current day stars who could go head to head with the best we had back in the day and give them a run for their money. I'm talking about people like Notorious Ned Kaye...

The crowd cheers for the mention of NNK.

Steve Jason: Big D...

There's a mixture of responses at that.

Steve Jason: Steve Justice. Cool set of initials, that guy.

The cheers are punctuated with a few dry laughs.

Steve Jason: Lux...

The cheers only intensify at that.

Steve Jason: Your very own Queen of Anarchy Sarah Lacklan...

There are more than a few cheers for the Queen.

Steve Jason: Jenny Myst...

The boos come flooding in now. Steve just shrugs slightly, as if to go 'what do you want me to say?', then continues.

Steve Jason: And of course, the current Universal Champion Robert Main.

The boos swing back into cheers again for the Universal Champion.

Steve Jason: Noah Jackson, Kenzi Grey-Lacklan, Vita Valenteen, hell even Barney Green is looking in better nick than I've seen him in years. And there are a ton of others I could add to that list. I probably owe apologies to people for not mentioning them. So ultimately, Sayors, I'm happy to be under this umbrella for one last match. There's nowhere I'd be happier going out, and there's no doubt the place is in safe hands. That's one thing, win or lose, that I'm at peace with.

Steve Sayors: The mention of you being at peace brings us to another question. Why come back for one more match if you say you're at peace and simply ready to rejoin the fans? I mean you being here and doing a final address makes sense, but you've signed on to one more match. Why?

Steve Jason: Probably because Home Office sent you to the far ends of the Earth to ask me to, Sayors.

Sayors coughs awkwardly, obviously not expecting that response.

Steve Sayors: Well yes, but you could have said no. God knows you have every other time the XWF comes knocking. What's different?

Steve Jason: You know what's different. You told me.

Sayors seems a bit flustered now, shaking his head.

Steve Sayors: Come on, don't make me spell it out...

Steve grins and shakes his head.

Steve Jason: Alright, Sayors. I was winding you up. The truth of the matter is until a few weeks ago there *was* nothing that would get me back in the ring. I was happy to leave it where it was, and I'm man enough to know when to call it a day and not cling desperately to a spotlight that's no longer mine. There is only one thing - one thing - that could change that opinion. Brandon Real.

The crowd cheer at the mention of the full name of The Brand.

Steve Sayors: And there it is. You've hunted your share of XWF glory and accolades, you've brought down your share of legends back in the day. You brought Cooper down when he sensed his crown slipping away and came for you, when Bigg Rigg tried to block you out of the XWF Universal title scene, you tore him to pieces. What's one more name matter? Your run in the XWF was far longer than The Brand's, your title count is higher, your accolades are greater. Why is he so important to you?

Steve Jason: You answered your own question there, Sayors. I've had a pretty fulfilling career. I've ticked off just about all the boxes a person could want for an XWF run. Universal title, Lord of the Ring, X-Mas X-Treme tournament, Tag Team runs with my best friends in the world. There is one last thing that I have never done - that NOBODY in the XWF has EVER done. Take down The Brand. It's that simple, but I'll make it simpler for you. How many times has The Brand lost, Sayors - in his entire career?

Steve Sayors: He hasn't. Everybody knows that.

Steve Jason: Exactly. Zero. There were comers of the highest caliber, but none of them ever succeeded, and that alone is enough for most people to cement him as the best in the world. And of course you hear the continual debates whenever anyone's asked to list the greatest of all time. Could I do it? Could I beat him? Nobody knows because we've never gone one on one, and it's a question that has plagued the XWF for at least a decade, probably longer. There are people who are adamant I could. There are others - probably close to as many - who think I couldn't.

Steve Sayors: Do *you* think you can beat him?

Steve looks at Sayors steadily for a few moments, the crowd falling quiet. Steve takes a breath, as if worried about what he's about to say, then lets it out.

Steve Jason: I don't know.

There are audible gasps from the crowd at that - and even Sayors looks rattled by the blunt honesty.

Steve Sayors: You don't know? Steve, I've heard you go up against opponents for eighteen years, and you've NEVER said you don't know if you can beat them. Even the ones you lost against.

Steve Jason: That's right, and I stand by that, because every one I lost against, I went back and beat. Ninety nine percent of the wrestlers on the planet, I COULD have beaten at one point or another in my career. That's not arrogance, it's simple statistics. So it should give you and everyone else some serious pause when I say that I do not know. Hell, it gives ME pause. It is the one last question I need to answer. It's kept me awake at night, wondering 'if I had the chance, could I have done it'? And for years I assumed I would never get the answer. Until now. And I will do absolutely everything in my power down to the last molecule to ensure that answer is 'YES'.

Steve Sayors: Honest, but confident answers. It's refreshing to see that from you, Steve. I know you've admitted you *could* lose before but you've never said you don't know if you could *win*. But let's touch on you trying to ensure the answer is yes. What do you think will get you over the edge?

Steve Jason: Simple. While The Brand is talented, while he is legendary, his flame ultimately was a short wick. Brand dominated - for two years. That's a fraction of my career. Ultimately, he's good, but he doesn't breathe and bleed the industry the way I do. I retired in my late 30s. The Brand didn't even make it to 27. I came back several times because the lure of the business was in my blood. Brand's NEVER come back after his one great run was done. Ultimately, while Brandon lived it up in his superstardom, I was out here damn near killing myself every week. When he relaxed on the couch sipping champagne, I was in hospital beds trying not to bleed out. When he signed someone's autograph or showed up in the social pages, I was in a gym fighting myself to death.

Steve takes a moment to breathe, seemingly not used to having talked with such heat for so long.

Steve Jason: The fact of the matter is, The Brand is like nothing I've ever faced before. But I'm like nothing he's ever faced either. There's nobody he's taken down that I haven't. And yes, some people would say I'd go soft on the guy because I used to be a Wildcard. And that's right to an extent. September 2, I will happily buy that man a beer and reminisce about the good old days. But until then, he is my enemy, he is my priority, and he is the single remaining obstacle between me and immortality. Like the legendary film goes, Sayors - there can be only one. It's Brandon or it's me, and if there's one thing a lot of people have learned the hard way, it's that I thrive in them-or-me situations. All of my greatest victories have come from that sense of urgency. And that sense of urgency unlocks a warrior spirit that Brandon has NEVER prepared himself for - that he CAN'T prepare himself for.

Steve's visibly amped up now, moving somewhat energetically and his voice breaking with emotion and determination, his eyes wide and steely.

Steve Sayors: So what's it going to take?

Steve Jason: I'm not going to lie, Sayors. As far as I'm concerned, the only way Brandon's putting me down is if he physically removes my ability to kick out. He'll need to knock every last breath out of me. He'll need to cripple my legs. In the end, he might have to beat me into a coma. I'm aware of the dangers this is going to involve. I have to take the man I was at 25, at my physical peak, and somehow surpass him at 42 years old. I don't just need to be the legend I've been known as - I need to be BETTER. That's why I know this is my last match- because what's left of my fighting spirit and my abilities is going to be supercharged, and then burn out in a blaze of glory. But it's going to be the greatest blaze of glory this world has ever seen, it's going to blind everyone in Toronto, and it's going to burn Brandon Real to cinders. And that...

The crowd, already energized by Steve's passion, roar it along with Steve as, eyes blazing, he bellows out his legendary catchphrase for what could very well be the last time...

Steve Jason: ...IS UNDENIABLE!

The microphone comes crashing out of Steve's hands to shriek and squeal as it crashes down onto the ground, and "Midlife Crisis" thunders over the PA system again. Steve seems to be brimming with energy now, and glimpses of the fierce competitor he was once known to be seem to show through as he surges out of the ring to the crowd's applause. Sayors tries to keep up, but is left in the dust as a determined Unkillable strides confidently up the ramp, disappearing through the curtain to the back.


Fuzz
- vs -
Barney Green
XWF Classic XX Special Honorary Match





"Like A Prayer" by Madonna starts to play through out the arena as fans start to cheer slightly. A black Jeep, driven by John Lauriniaits, appears at the top of the ramp slowly driving forward as we see Barney Green standing in the back waving the Irish Flag. The jeep stops and Green leaps out of it. He waves the flag one last time and places it back into the Jeep. He walks down the ramp and high fives a couple fans. He enters the ring and waits in the corner as the music fades.


Vinnie Lane: “So here comes Barney, all four hundred… hold up. Wait, this can’t be right. My card says he’s 264? Did they just weigh half of him?


Vinnie looks up into the ring to see Barney much trimmer than he was in the past. His wrists and ankles have those little bracelets with weights in them and he’s wearing his headband declaring himself a Hugger as well as his brand new Anarchy branded eye patch.


Vinnie Lane: “Whoa… Barn’s done some work! He looks like the old Barney Green but with AIDS!”




Fuzz finds his way from the back and seems like he’d rather be anywhere else. He wanders slowly to the ring while sending a few texts and ignoring everyone in the crowd. When he gets in the ring he flips a pair of birds to everyone, especially Vinnie which is weird because I heard Vinnie’s a really nice dude. I mean guy. I don’t say dude because I’m not Vinnie WTF LOL anyway.


Vinnie Lane: “Man… Fuzz is a JERK. Did you guys see all the crap he said about me? That stuff hurt, dude! I’m team Barno for sure.”


The bell sounds and Green is FIRED UP! He charges Fuzz who ducks away, but Green keeps the heat on him by swinging a back elbow that Fuzz narrowly avoids. Fuzz isn’t so lucky when Barney completes the rotation and catches the Afterthought with a wicked spinning back fist, however. Fuzz is rocked, but when Barney leans on him and whips him to the ropes, Fuzz has the wherewithal to reverse. Green hooks his arms on the top rope to prevent a rebound, though, and Fuzz is left clotheslining empty air.

The two circle one another then, and Fuzz starts chopping away at the legs of Green with some nasty leg kicks. He hooks one to the outside that nearly tumbles the Green One, but it looks like he was playing a little possum as when Fuzz foolishly rushes in he gets grabbed up in a big ol’ Belly to Barney suplex! Barney hooks the far leg on impact!


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Fuzz kicks out!!!





Vinnie Lane: “The old Barney would have scored the pin right there for sure! No one is kicking out of getting squashed by a Volkwagen!”


Fuzz doesn’t get much respite as Green quickly is on top of him, and Barney lifts his Red Sox tee shirt up and tucks it under his chin, then forces Fuzz’s face in between his man titties! The drooping dude boobs are even more scrotal in nature after the drastic weight cut, and Fuzz is fuming! He fights his way to his feet and then socks Green right in the tobacco chewer with a straight right that nearly sends Barney into his own Green Dream.

Barney is staggered and has to backpedal, but Fuzz stays on him. Fuzz even goes as far as to flip the eye patch up and jam a finger into Barney’s eye socket. Fuzz turns his own kind of green when his finger sinks all the way in to the third knuckle, and Barney squints down hard, trapping him!


Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! Fuzz’s finger is stuck in Barney’s eye hole! I didn’t even know that was a thing you could do!”


Fuzz tries to yank his finger out of Barney, but Green must have been doing some serious facial kegels because that thing is stuck like it’s in a bear trap. Fuzz swings a few front kicks to try and force the issue but Barney swats them away, then hooks Fuzz’s free arm over his head… Eye Socket Suplex??? Fuzz bounces across the ring, his finger finally free but gleaming with whatever kind of fluid one might find inside the human eye canal. Aqueous humor? Vitreous? Who even knows.

Green tries to follow up with a big elbow but Fuzz scoots out of the way and nearly has Barney snatched up in his Dreamweaver before Green manages to scramble to the bottom rope and gets the hold broken. Barney puts some space between himself and Fuzz and adjusts his eye patch with a grin… then he pulls a wad of dip out of the socket!


Vinnie Lane: “HE KEEPS HIS DIP IN THERE!!?? He’s gonna get eye socket cancer!”


Barney stuffs the whole wad in his maw and then chews it up while Fuzz fights back the urge to puke. Barney walks up face to face with Fuzz and spits! But Fuzz ducks because he isn’t an idiot and saw this coming a mile away. The dip spittle splashes into the eyes of referee Chaz Bobo like he was Nedry in Jurassic Park, and he flops to the mat clawing at his eyes. Green takes advantage of a distracted Fuzz to lock in the Green Dream! Fuzz is caught! Barney screams for the referee to get his shit together and cranks that chickenwing like it was Soulja Boy, eventually having no choice but to let go due to lactic build up in his arm meat.

Barney tries to revive the referee and spits on his hands to wash off the tobacco juice while Fuzz recuperates on the mat, repeatedly checking to see if his shoulder is still in the socket. Finally, after what seems like forever, all three men are back on their feet and ready to due grievous bodily harm to one another for probably another twenty or thirty minLIGHTNING ATTACK!!! LIGHTNING ATTACK!!!! Barney hits the stunner and leaps on top of Fuzz as Bobo cartwheels into position like Charles Robinson in his prime!











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FUZZ HAS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!!


Vinnie Lane: “What does Barney have to do to put Fuzz away? He’s waited years for this match and he’s giving it his all, but he just can’t seem to make an afterthought of the Afterthought!


Barney slams his palms on the mat and then scales the ropes in the near corner. He crosses his chest and says a quick prayer to Bobby Orr who I’m pretty sure is dead but I’m not gonna check, tbh. If he’s alive, how about we pretend I said Gordy Howe? He played for the Whalers at some point, that’s gotta be close enough.

Anyway, Barn goes up, and by “up” we’re talking all the way up. This isn’t a Vader bomb, people, he’s gonna go for the whole kit n’ kaboodle here with a Greensault! Barney spits some more chaw for good luck, which actually dings off of the ring bell and causes a little confusion at ringside. He then leaps! He tucks it perfect! He’s up and over in a backwards rainbow like an elegant porpoise, carving an arc through the arena air!

Fuzz gets his knees up.

Barney’s rib cage sounds like bubble wrap as it pops on Fuzz’s bony ass knees, and he stumbles around gasping for air. Fuzz gets behind him…. THE AFTERTHOUGHT!!!! Barney is face down and isn’t moving as Fuzz rolls him to his back.


Vinnie Lane: “Oh no! Barney’s lighter body coast him there! No way Fuzz would have lifted him up like that a year ago!”


Fuzz makes the cover…




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3!!!



Winner by Pinfall - Fuzz





Noah Jackson
- vs -
Mercury
- vs -
Rebel Star
- vs -
Big D
Elimination Style Fatal Fourway!





Noah Jackson runs onto the ramp with a burst of energy, taunting to the crowds. He walks towards the ring going to high five fans before faking out and giving them a dab like a dick. He rolls into the ring and rests in his corner.




A blast of hot pink fireworks erupt throughout the arena as Rebel Star, emerges on the scene. With a sarcastic sneer on her lips and that glimmer in her eyes that makes the boys swoon, she descends the ramp. Paying no mind to the hoards of screaming fans. The women who want to be her and the men who want to be with her, if only for a moment of flesh on flesh contact. She sees through them like glass. Rebel climbs the steel steps and glides through the ropes. Taking position on the top turnbuckle, she awaits her adversary.




The deliberate, emotional strums of “Romanza” start, the crowd going silent for the arrival of the elegant Julian Mercury who is now standing with an amused smile at the top of the ramp.

He saunters down the ramp, lightly bounds up onto the apron, and then steps between the top and middle ropes. Upon reaching the middle of the ring, he gives a polite bow to the audience, smug smile stitched to his face as he retreats to a corner of the ring.




Big D does pretty generic poses when entering, doesn't really give fives or shake hands, mostly just focuses on the ring and the match ahead.

As the bell sounded all four competitors took a few steps out of their corner and surveyed the ring. Noah would end up making the first move as he shot over towards Rebel Star and caught her off guard with a running knee to the gut! Big D and Mercury then turned their attention to each other and slowly began testing the waters for a collar and elbow lock up. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Noah was seemingly having his way with Star. He grabbed her by the head and snapmared her over his shoulder and followed it up with a swift kick to her lower back! Noah then drops to a knee and locks Star in a headlock. Elsewhere, Mercury and Big D had finally tied up, but neither had managed to gain an advantage. Mercury cured that by stomping on Big D’s big toe which caused him to break the tie up. Once he did, Mercury rushed forward with a series of knee strikes that had Big D up against the ropes. Mercury then grabbed Big D and whipped him across the ring. As he rebounded, we could see Noah pulling up Rebel Star and spiking her head to the mat with his version of the Omega Driver, DOWN THUNDER!

Mercury was waiting on Big D with a running superkick, but Big D managed to duck it and countered it into THE DAN SLAM! Noah covered Rebel Star at the same time as Big D pinned Mercury. The official slid in and counted both pins at the same time!


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3!

The official helped Star and Mercury out of the ring as Big D came charging across the ring for Noah, but Noah said “Nah cunt” and rolled under the bottom rope. Once outside, Noah was quick to taunt Big D. With the eliminated competitors now out of the ring, the official turned his attention to Noah and warned him to get back in this match. He then started his ten count, but Noah continued to pace around the ring and taunt Big D to come do something. By the time the official was at a 7 count, Big D had enough, and slid under the bottom rope, breaking the count. Noah took off running around the ring as Big D gave chase. Noah quickly slid into the ring to avoid Big D, but Big D followed just behind him. Unfortunately, Big D being a bigger guy, wasn’t as quick to his feet, and this gave Noah an opening to rebound off the ropes and catch Big D with a spinning heel kick that took Big D right back off his feet.

Standing over Big D, Noah grabbed ahold of him, pulling him up to his feet but before he even knew it, Big D wrapped both arms around his waist, keeping his weight down and forcing Noah to fight with him in a struggle to pull him up. The two were locked onto each other, but eventually Noah managed to position his back in the direct line of sight of the official. Noah then dug a thumb into Big D’s eye, drawing a howling negative reaction from the fans as they booed, but it served its purpose as Big D released his grip and backed away nursing his eye. Not seeing the initial thumb to the eye, the official didn’t know what happened, or even evidence to warn Noah based on an assumption. This was the opening that Noah needed though, and he took advantage by charging at Big D from behind, hitting him over the back of the neck with a lariat that sent Big D crashing forward to the mat. Limping over to Big D, Noah stood over him with a foot planted to the canvas on each side of his body. Squatting down, he dug his nails into the flesh of Big D’s back and quickly raked down, leaving behind slightly bloody tracks down Big D’s back. The official did catch a full view of this and quickly jumped into Noah's face to warn him to stop the shenanigans.

Walking back over to Big D, Noah began to stomp down onto the back of his shoulder over and over. Pulling Big D to his feet, Noah kept his head down, holding him in place as he began to slam multiple knees upward into Big D’s chest. Hooking an arm around his head, Noah then lifted Big D into the air upside down before dropping him back to the mat with a snap suplex. Big D rolled forward to an upright seated position as Noah climbed to his feet. Rushing in behind Big D, Noah hit him directly in the center of the back with a running kick. The slap echoed throughout the building as Big D looked directly up, moaning from the pains shooting up and down his spine. Running to the ropes in front of Big D, Noah bounced off before sliding feet first, completely wiping Big D out with a sliding clothesline!

On his side, Big D laid on the mat barely moving at all, giving Noah all the time in the world to climb back to his feet at a slow pace. Once up, Noah began to mock Big D with various hand gestures and even making faces at him while mouthing off the word “CUNT” over and over. Pulling Big D to his feet by an arm, Noah then whipped Big D into the ropes and caught him on the rebound with an Enziguri! Big D hit the mat back first and Noah quickly ran to the nearest turnbuckle. Noah quickly climbed to the top rope, but wasted time call his shot as he declared to the fans that “You cunts are about to see the best moonsault ever!”. Noah then finally turned his attention back to Big D, seeing that he was still down and out, Noah leaped into the air. Flashes filled the arena as fans tried to immortalize this beautiful moonsault forever with their cameras. Unfortunately for Noah, there was nobody home when his body made impact to the stiff canvas below!

Noah clinched his stomach and flopped about like a fish out of water as Big D quickly moved in to take advantage of the opening he had created. Big D wrapped his big arms around Noah's waist and effortlessly deadlifted him into a German suplex! He didn’t release either, and quickly, Big D was back on his feet with Noah still in his grasp. Up and over, Big D slammed him to the mat again with another German suplex, but that wasn’t it either, and soon enough, Big D was bringing Noah back to the mat with a third and final German suplex! Big D used the opening that he had made for himself to check his eye again. It wasn’t 100%, but he was satisfied that he could continue the match without getting it checked. Noah began to stir, but Big D was right there to put an end to that quick. Big D pulled Noah to his feet and whipped him into the corner. Noah hit with such an impact that he actually rocketed out of the corner and right into a BIG clothesline from Big D! Big D then quickly cut left, hit the ropes and came crashing down with a BIG leg drop across the throat of Noah! He then went for a quick cover on Noah.






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2!


























KICKOUT!


Big D didn’t get frustrated, he just knew there was more work to do and he got up to his feet and went about doing it. He pulled Noah to his feet and delivered a couple of stiff knees to the midsection to keep him nice and cooperative. Big D then whipped Noah into the ropes and sprang forward with a lariat on the rebound, but Noah ducked under it and hit the ropes behind Big D. Noah rebounded as Big D turned to react, but Noah managed to hook his head and use the momentum to spike Big D with a DDT. The two men would lay there for the next minute or so. Thankfully the official was being generous and not starting a 10 count. When they finally did begin to stir, both men actually managed to make it to their feet at the about the same time. The two exhausted men stared at each other for a few seconds before they both rushed in. They began trading blows back and forth at this point. Neither of them willing to back off. That is of course, until Noah quickly backed off. It didn’t do him much good though, as Big D wasn’t going to play anymore games with him tonight. Big D charged in and hammered down with some big hammerfist to the back of Noah’s head. Noah dropped to a knee, and Big D decided to introduce him to his! The stiff knee shot sent Noah to the mat, and seemed to cause a slight trickle of blood from his nose. Big D move in again. He grabbed Noah up and quickly tossed him up to his shoulders.






























THE DAN SLAM!!!!


























Except Noah somehow managed to swing around and counter with a DDT!

Noah pushed up to his feet as Big D struggled to get back to his. Noah hit the ropes and rushed in just as Big D regained his vertical base. A sprinting one legged dropkick by the name of Crack The Shits was enough to put Big D back down, but not for long, and Noah knew this as he set up and waited for Big D to rise once more. When he did, Noah was there to put him back down with King Hit, a superman punch that he landed on the back of Big D’s head. Noah then dropped to his knees and rolled Big D over to his back before finally hooking the leg and making the cover.







1!











































2!
























3!!!


Winner by Pinfall - Noah Jackson!




Vinnie Lane: "Wow, did Noah just win a match CLEAN? Someone go pat him down, I'm pretty sure he must have brass knuckles or something, dude, he isn't all that talented."



Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Zane Norrison
Non-Title Match!




Vinnie Lane: “Folks it’s main event time… everyone is real excited for this one, except Zane Norrison, I guess. He seems to have already meandered his way to the ring without any fanfare and everyone in the front row is taunting him by daring him to come eat their brains. But, like, he’s just standing there…”




The lights go out in the arena and a spotlight shines on the entrance. Two men in marching band uniforms brandishing herald trumpets stand tall. After a few moments, they bring their horns to their lips and play a rousing fanfare.

As they end, God Save the Queen plays across the P.A. as the lights come on and four large men walk out from behind the curtain, a massive palanquin on their shoulders. Sarah Lacklan sits on the dais of red pillows and drapes, waving to the crowd and brandishing her Billion $$$ smile as they make their way down the ramp.

Upon reaching the ring, she takes a microphone from freakin' Kyle, the WORST XWF employee ever, and graces the audience with "Oh! And ANOTHER thing!" before her match begins.


Vinnie Lane: “Looks like Sarah is READY for this… I figure we’re going to see a real classic match here, as both of these competitors are at their peak and OH CRAP THE ABYSS!!!”


Sarah drops Zane on the back of his head almost immediately and slides over him with a cover.




1!


















2!!















3!!!





Winner by Pinfall - Sarah Lacklan



Vinnie Lane: "Well that was something… at least Sarah’s fans got to see her set an Anarchy record for fastest win! We’ll have to check the record books and see if there been a faster match in XWF history! Hey… what’s going on now?”[/amatch]


After the bell, Sarah Lacklan stands in the ring celebrating her victory. The official hands her the coveted Anarchy Championship before raising her hand. Suddenly, the crowd seems to take notice of something that both Sarah and the official are oblivious to.

Suddenly VV slides into the ring behind Lacklan , her 24/7 briefcase in hand.

[color=#FF1493]Vinnie Lane: "Hey wait, IS VV ABOUT TO CASH IN ON SARAH LACKLAN!?!"


”HEY SARAH!”

Sarah turns around to face VV, but is left with no time to react before VV smashes her in the face with the 24/7 case! Sarah drops to the mat hard as VV smiles devilishly and holds the case up for everyone to see Sarah's face imprinted in the metal!

Vinnie Lane: "Holy shit! Vita Valenteen just attacked "The Queen of Anarchy" with her briefcase! This just proves that ANYTHING can happen on Anarchy!"

VV doesn't let up as Sarah tries to pull herself up from the mat, she lifts the case high over head and cashes it down across the back of her head! Sarah yelps out in pain as VV tosses the case to the side and crouches down over Sarah.

"COME ON SARAH, GET UP! BE THE QUEEN! OUT WRESTLE ME!!!"

The crowd, just now getting over the shock of what they just witnessed, begins to boo VV as a Sarah Lacklan chant slowly breaks through all of the booing.

VV stands up and acknowledges the crowd with a sly smile as she motions for them to get louder.

Vinnie Lane: "This is a complete 180 from the sweet and innocent Vita Valenteen that we're used too. I think that her recent string of losses may have driven her over the edge!

VV struts over to where she threw her 24/7 case and quickly grabs it before turning to the referee.

Vinnie Lane: "Wait a minute, is she cashing in her case for the Anarchy Championship!?!"

NOPE!

VV yanks the case away from the official and walks back over to the downed Sarah Lacklan, slapping her across the back of the head in an effort to wake her up.

Sarah begins to stir and VV takes that as her que to dart out to the apron and wait for her spot.

Vinnie Lane: "She’s NOT cashing in, she’s just looking to cause more damage!”

VV waits on the apron, taunting Sarah as she struggles to get to her feet. Soon enough, she does, and she stumbles around until she's facing VV, but there's no time for her to react as VV springboards off of the top rope and flies through the air, connecting with a springboard dropkick that levels the already worn down Lacklan.

"EAT DEFEAT! VITA VALENTEEN JUST LANDED HER SIGNATURE DROPKICK!

VV doesn't waste any time making the cover and counting the pinfall herself.







1!


























2!

























3!

Vinnie Lane: "Just in case anyone is confused, that’s NOT how this works!”

VV jumps to her feet to celebrate as the live crowd dumps all over her. VV gets in the officials face and DEMANDS that the Anarchy championship be awarded to her. The official argues that she didn’t actually win it though. VV ends up shoving the official back as she snatches it out of his hands.

Vinnie Lane: "I don’t even know what to say here. This is a new Vita Valenteen, and that’s NOT a good thing!"

VV talks some trash about this being her ring as she kicks at Sarah trying to push her unconscious body to the floor. Eventually VV pushes Sarah to the edge of the apron, and with a final, rope assisted kick, Sarah is dumpled put to the floor below.

VV then marches over to the other side of the ring and calls for a microphone as the crowd continues to jeer her.

"I told you this wasn't over Sarah!"

The mere sound of her voice nearly sends the crowd into a riot!

"Oh give it a rest! What? You think that I turned my back on you or something?"

A "YOU SOLD OUT" chant erupts from the crowd as VV just smirks and seems to brush it off.

"You know, it's funny that you people think that I sold out, yet I've watched for months as you chanted and cheered for that disgrace of a human being lying in a heap at ringside!"

Calling out the XWF Universe for their alleged hypocrisy does nothing but bring more hate down onto VV, but oddly, she seems to revel in it.

"Oh please… Don't act like this isn't what you wanted! You people cheer for vile acts like her every night, and for the longest time, I didn't understand it, but now I do. Now I see the truth, and the truth is, to make it in this business, you can't afford to play by the rules, you can't afford to be a kind human being,and you damn sure can't afford to give a good Goddamn what you inbred imbeciles think! You want to cheer for that skank and boo me? Fine, but at the end of the day I’ve gotten EVERYONE’S ATTENTION!!!

The crowd boo’s louder, causing VV to pause for the reaction to die down.

"Now that I have your attention, allow me to make myself perfectly clear. Sarah Lacklan DOES NOT deserve this championship! She’s nothing but a spoiled rich girl who spends her days crying about the most trivial bullshit imaginable! She can do all of the research that she wants, because at the end of the day, she’s still a SHIT WRESTLER!"

The crowd reaction erupts again, forcing VV to once again wait for it to die down.

”THERE’S A REASON WHY SHE HAD TO CHEAT TO BEAT ME!”

*YOU SUCK*

*YOU SUCK*

*YOU SUCK*

”I am the BEST pound for pound WRESTLER in the XWF TODAY! If ANYONE SUCKS, it’s that pile of human TRASH outside of the ring!”

VV walks over to the ropes and steps up onto the bottom rope to lean over the top and look out to Sarah.

”Sarah, you’ve been crying that you don’t have a challenge on Anarchy. Well, considering that I just totally beat you in the center of the ring, I guess that makes me the number one contender to this huh?”

VV holds the Anarchy championship over the ropes.

”So how about at Relentless, you put this belt on the line so I can prove once and for all that you aren’t fit to be queen!?!”

VV throws the belt at the floored Sarah Lacklan as VV’s apparently new music begins to blast over the PA system.


Vinnie Lane: "Vita Valenteen with a statement! You heard her… At RELENTLESS Vita is cashing in her title shot against Sarah Lacklan for the Anarchy Championship! WOW!!!”


Vinnie stares slack jawed at the ring as Vita makes her way to the back and officials help a confused and barely conscious Sarah Lacklan to her feet.

Anarchy fades to blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!





Special Thanks:
Vita Valenteen
Sarah Lacklan
Steve Jason
Ruby
John Black

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Very Serious Wrestler



XWF FanBase:
Hardly anyone to be honest

(booed by most fans; hurts people even when not supposed to; often angry and shitty)


#2
08-31-2019, 07:14 AM

After seeing VV becoming gnarly I find it hard to speak as I may now be in love. C'mon Noah! Say something Noah-ish to not be awkward. You and Fuzz won! Mention it or something.

"... Sick cunts being sick as per."

[Image: iwofq6s.png]
FORMER:
[Image: OZdvB4F.png]
[Image: l6KRzu8.png]

W | L | D
226 | 11 | 81

Star of the Month (August 2019)
1/3 Star of the Month (January 2020) with Fuzz and our Subaru
RP of the Month (November 2019) with Big Disappointment
Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)
Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)
Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020
Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022
Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)
Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason
Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)
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