LIVE!!! FROM THE CENTURYLINK ARENA IN BOISE, IDAHO! [b] Mastermind - vs - "The Lethal Beauty" Belladonna Lovely Ruby - vs - John Black Noah Jackson - vs - "The Amazing" Ashley Ackles Internet Division Match! Mercury - vs - Raphael Blackwater Steel Cage Match! "Notorious" Ned Kaye - vs - Zane Norrison Bobbi London (w/ Maxine) - vs - Mini Morbid Internet Division Match! (Non-Title) FOLLOWING A SPECIAL CORONATION CEREMONY Sarah Lacklan - vs - Vita Valenteen Non-Title Match!

Pyro and fireworks flame through the air inside the Centurylink Arena as a sold out crowd loses their potato eatin’ minds. The cameras show rabid fans waving homemade signs and flexing in their official XWF tee shirts with screen printed faces of XWF’s biggest stars and also Big D.

As a thunderous ANARCHY chant begins to subside, the wild camera movements settle on the ringside announce desk where none other than XWF owner and Anarchy Brand Chairman “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane sits while amusing himself with a fidget spinner.


Vinnie Lane: “Folks it is time for ANARCHY! And OH BOISE, we are in Idaho tonight… I’m pretty sure that joke is gold, just like I’m CERTAIN I won’t get interrupted tonight… oh, man.”


Thursday Night Anarchy is now live, and is about to get underway when like Wednesday Night, and Saturday Night, the cameras focus on the main X-tron where outside influences seem to have taken control and then......


THE MISFITS

flashes across the screen. Then from the back walks out Antony The Jerk.

He looks out at the crowd, and then just shakes his head. He continues on down the ramp, he walks past the ring, and stops at the announcers table where he shakes Vinnie's hand. He then carries on to where there are metal chairs, grabs one, opens it up, and sits down on it to begin watching Anarchy. The X-Tron returns to normal.


Vinnie Lane: “That’s it, dude? You’re just gonna like… sit nearby? All right, whatever. Let’s just get to the ring now that all MY TIME is up!”

Mastermind - vs - "The Lethal Beauty" Belladonna Lovely

Vinnie Lane: “We’ve got a debut here tonight from a brand new face in the XWF, and she’s a self described Lethal Beauty. But tonight she’s got the Master of Minds to contend with!

The lights go out, and then when they come back on Mastermind is seen standing on the top rope waving to the crowd.


Vinnie Lane: “That entrance is always so detailed and theatric. It gives me chills!”

Strobe lights start flashing down the walkway as Belladonna Lovely, barefooted and wearing a black bikini top with silver Skulls and Crossbones on it and a short purple mini skirt, makes her way to the ring. She is carrying Dolly in the crook of 1 arm and has a white Straight Jacket is draped over her shoulders. Belladonna climbs up on the apron and sits Dolly on 1 of the corner turnbuckles before flipping over the Top Rope. She takes the Straight Jacket off her shoulders and holds it up in the air before tossing it into the corner that Dolly is in. Belladonna then bends over seductively and kisses her hand lowering it to her Butt as a load Thunder goes off and Lighting flashes at the 4 corners of the ring. She then sits in the corner with Dolly and waits for the match to begin.


Vinnie Lane: “Welp. She’s crazy. That’s kinda hot though, dude! Let’s find out if she’s got what it takes to get past a real veteran.”


DING!

DING!

DING!


Belladonna Lovely sprints across the ring at Mastermind immediately, leaping through the air for a flying knee that Mastermind is barely able to sidestep! Belladonna sails into the corner and lands harmlessly, but spins quickly with a heel kick that drills Mastermind in the midsection and doubles him over! Belladonna bounces off the ropes and knees Mastermind in the side of the head, toppling him to the canvas! Belladonna quickly rushes to the top rope and turns to look down at Mastermind as the crowd cheers loudly!


Vinnie Lane: “Belladonna Lovely with a frog splash! She hooks the leg for a cover!”





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2!!


Mastermind gets a shoulder up and shoves Balladonna off of him, climbing to his feet. Lovely throws a low kick at Mastermind, but it’s checked. She follows up with a lightning fast crescent kick but Mastermind catches her leg and hurls her across the ring and crashing into the corner! Belladonna tries to climb quickly to her feet, but Mastermind hits her with a heavy boot and drives her back into the turnbuckle! Mastermind grabs Lovely and lifts her slowly to her feet, delivering a knife edged chop across her chest!


Vinnie Lane: “Whoa! Mastermind! Let’s not get handsy dude!”


Mastermind hooks Belladonnas head and sprints out of the corner, spiking her down with a running bulldog. He sits Lovely up, and locks in his patented sleeper hold from behind her! The Mind Sleeper! Belladonna struggles furiously to escape but her face begins to change color as Mastermind squeezes tightly! Lovely stretches herself for the ropes to force a break but realizes there’s no chance she can reach, and begins slowly forcing her way up to her feet! She pins Masterminds chin to the top of her head and then drops to her knees, snapping Masterminds head back and forcing him to release the submission!


Vinnie Lane: “Mastermind staggers back into the ropes! He’s trying to gather those marbles!”


Belladonna takes a few deep breaths and then sprints at Mastermind! Leaping clothesline! Mastermind flips over the top rope but manages to catch it and land on the apron instead of the floor! He climbs quickly to his feet, but Belladonna grabs hold of his wrist and jumps up in the air… flying armbar!


Vinnie Lane: “Whoa! Mastermind is outside of the ring, but he’s locked in an armbar inside the ring! Those ropes aren’t really much of a barrier, are they?”


The referee begins to count for a rope break, and Belladonna quickly releases and drops to the mat as Mastermind pulls his arm in tight and winces on the apron. Lovely rolls back to her feet… DROPKICK! A dropkick sends Mastermind flying off the apron and to the floor! Mastermind skids into the fan barrier as Lovely points out at the crowd, then bounces off the far ropes… suicide dive! Lovely hurls herself over the top rope and smashes into Mastermind as he tries to get up to his hands and knees, and the fans love it!


Vinnie Lane: “Belladonna did some damage to herself on that one. She’s actually crazy!”


Belladonna drags herself slowly to the fan barricade and pulls herself up to her feet! She backs away from Mastermind, looking for a running start and…


Vinnie Lane: “Spear! Mastermind spears Belladonna as she runs in! He nearly snapped her in half!”


Mastermind is fired up as he pulls Belladonna up by the hair and whips her into the steel ring steps with a large crash. He grabs another fistfull of her hair and lifts her up once more, hurling her through the ropes and into the ring. He slides in after her and sizes her up in the center of the ring as Belladonna struggles to roll up to her feet. German Suplex by Mastermind! The Kiwi makes a confident cover as the referee slides into position!








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Kickout by Belladonna! Kickout by Lovely!

Mastermind throws a few right hands at Belladonna, but she latches onto his wrist and locks in another arm bar! That looks tight! Mastermind stays composed and grips Belladonna by the tights, lifting her high in the air and bringing her smashing down to the mat! Lovely releases the arm bar, she looks like she might be out cold!


Vinnie Lane: “The back of her head bounced HARD off the mat, dudes!”


Mastermind grins and folds her up for a cover, staring directly into the camera as the referee makes the count!







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2!!






















3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Mastermind

Vinnie Lane: “MM did it! My dude still has some life in him, I knew that knee was in good shape!”

Ruby - vs - John Black

Vinnie Lane: “Next up is another veteran versus newcomer matchup… John Black has been getting into an XWF ring for years, dude, and he’s always a wild card… his opponent tonight is Ruby, who a lot of people think got screwed out of an Anarchy Championship match at Leap of Faith… let’s get to the ring!

The lights goes down, and smoke starts to rise out of the entrance way. Then the drum kicks in, and the lights come back on and we see JB walking down the entrance, as he heads to the ramp he talks smack to the camera. He then rolls into the ring, and goes to the middle buckle puts his fist in the air. Then he gets towards the middle of the ring and waits.


Vinnie Lane: “There’s JB, a man who’s seen a bit of a resurgence as of late… the Anarchy Brand has been good for the veteran’s career, but not so much for his attitude!”


The lights in the arena go down as smoke starts to rise out of the entrance way. The Spudsters (because that’s probably what people from Idaho refer to themselves as?) start clutching their pearls a bit as some drum kicks in and Craig Mack starts talking about going “real raw” into your “backdoor.” J-to-the-B is walking down the entrance ramp as the lights come back one and he’s ALL about talking smack into the camera. He’s got his mask on again, which is pretty freakin’ cool, and there are TONS of Idahoeans who are afraid of him. And a few of the girls are secretly thinking about him instead of their own pot-bellied hubbies, except for Roxy, of course, because she is TERRIFIED of CERTAIN PARTS belonging to such a dark man. After he rolls into the ring, he throws a fist into the air, because Black Power (maybe?).

Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby
Do ya do ya do ya do ya
Know what your doing, doing to me

The crowd goes fucking APE SHIT as the Kaiser Chiefs play through the PA and on the Vinniefred EVEYLYN Lane Tron. Their hero is here! Who’s that jumpin’ out the-

What the-

Ruby calmly walks out onto the apron in a simple lime and banana suit, not just sans her mask, but sans her theatrics. Still, she gives everyone a wide smile (though worth significantly less than Billion $$$) and makes her way down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans who reach out to her. Once getting into the ring, she immediately goes over to the ref and assists him in doing a THOROUGH check to make sure that she wasn’t carrying any illegal weapons!

DING! DING! DING!

Standing in the middle of the ring, Ruby bravely sticks out her hand for a handshake! The crowd goes NUTS for this particular Rubyism!

John looks at her like she’s a freakin’ idiot.

And punches her right in her face.

But Ruby ducks! She slips under the punch and swings down to JB’s legs and snakes an arm between them. Not expecting such a fast counter, Black’s momentum is all KINDS of wrong and he’s off balance and unable to block the schoolgirl coming his way! Ruby brings him down to the mat with the pin attempt and gets as much of her weight onto his rear as possible as the ref hits the mat.


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2!!








3!!!


Vinnie Lane: "Holy crap!"


DING DING DING!

Winner by Pinfall - Ruby

The crowd goes NUTS at the sudden pinfall! Ruby’s eyes are wide with shock and Black is LIVID, screaming at the ref that this is BULLSHIT and BOTH of his shoulders were off the mat! The referee (whichever one it is….) shakes his head and raises Ruby’s arm as the winner! What a flash-

Torture Rack! Black blindsides the shocked Ruby and hoists her up into a torture rack! What a pisspoor loser! He squeezes and squeezes on Ruby’s neck and hip, twisting her body in half, before swinging her around and DRIVING her head into the mat with a DDT! The vicious RaWkUs Driver leaves Ruby laying while the bell rings and the referee waves Black off. Black flips him off and heads to the outside...but then comes RIGHT BACK with a chair in his hand! The crowd boos as he slams the chair into the mat several times and screams at Ruby to get to her feet. The (currently umasked) crusader slowly gets to her feet, her eyes crossed from the T.R.D. and

BLAM!

John Black hits Ruby in the head so hard with a running chairshot that it is dented beyond repair! Ruby crumples to the mat and JB throws the ruined chair down and screams at her. Officials finally come out from the back to help Ruby, who might be the winner tonight, but has just been shown what “Anarchy” can mean to the woman driven to bring order to the chaos.


Vinnie Lane: "This is nuts! Ruby took the low road? I mean, she didn't CHEAT, but... and honestly she didn't deserve that level of retribution but can you really blame JB here?"

Noah Jackson - vs - "The Amazing" Ashley Ackles Internet Division Match!

Vinnie Lane: “Here next we’re going to have a real barn burner. Both of these competitors are coming off of high profile championship losses at Leap of Faith, trying to get things back on track. There could be a lot riding on this match here tonight!”

Noah Jackson runs onto the ramp with a burst of energy, taunting to the crowds. He walks towards the ring going to high five fans before faking out and giving them a dab like a dick. He rolls into the ring and rests in his corner.


Vinnie Lane: “God, he’s such a turd… but he’s a talented turd! He took Sarah Lacklan to the limit and he’s not done making waves on Anarchy, I can guarantee that.”

Ashley Ackles pops out from behind the curtain and then races to the ring in mocking fashion to the way Noah did. She makes a face at him outside the ring and then climbs in, taking her spot in her corner.


Vinnie Lane: “Ackles has been getting some exposure in the Asian market recently branding herself… let me check here… the English Queen of Hong Kong? Oh, dude, that’s way insensitive… imperialism was so lame!”


The bell sounds and the two competitors meet in the middle of the ring exchanging vicious forearm shots. Noah takes one to his receding hairline (he keeps it hidden well) and gets sent tumbling backward to the mat and then quickly escapes the ring under the bottom rope.

Ashley Ackles lines him up nicely for a baseball slide but Noah sees it coming and yanks the apron skirting away from the ring and causes Ackles to fall in, trapped between the skirt and the ring itself. Jackson takes advantage by hitting a big clothesline and holding on, driving Ackles backward into the lower ropes and crushing her lumbar vertebrae into the apron with a modified series of standing STOs.

Noah grabs Ackles by the hair and flips her out of the skirting and onto the floor, then soccer kicks her in the spine. Ackles doesn’t stay down long, though, as she grabs Noah by the waistband of his somehow even skinnier than usual jeans and leaps upward, catching him under the chine with the crow of her head.

Noah’s teeth click together with a sickening sound of crackling enamel, and Ackles keeps the pressure on with repeated knee lifts to the midsection.


Vinnie Lane: “I sure hope Noah didn’t have any questionable food before this match, Ash may very well make him squeeze out a shart… and with jeans that skinny that could spell disaster!”


Ackles tosses Noah over the guard rail and leaps over, clobbering Jackson and causing both of them to fall to the floor. Neither of them seems aware of the referee’s count as they continue fighting in the crowd.


6!






7!






Neither Noah or Ashley make any motion towards the ring, quite the opposite as they wind up heading all the way out to the concession area where Noah catches a charging Ackles with a surprise back drop that sends her crashing into a hot dog stand. Ackles is covered in mustard and ketchup! Oh no!



9!





10!!!!!!

Double Count Out

Referee John Bihl quickly calls for the bell, but Noah and Ashley are so far away they don’t even notice it… ACKLES BREAKS A CHURRO OVER NOAH’S HEAD!!!



Vinnie Lane: “That’s so wasteful and also delicious! This match has been called off as a double count out, but I think I know EXACTLY what to book this pair in next time around!”

Mercury - vs - Raphael Blackwater Steel Cage Match!

Vinnie Lane: “This should be a good one, dudes! Mercury made quite an impression in his Anarchy debut and he’s looking to get to the top sooner than later… but he’s got a big challenge coming from the Brothers Blackwater.”

The deliberate, emotional strums of “Romanza” start, the crowd going silent for the arrival of the elegant Julian Mercury who is now standing with an amused smile at the top of the ramp.

He saunters down the ramp, lightly bounds up onto the apron, and then steps between the top and middle ropes. Upon reaching the middle of the ring, he gives a polite bow to the audience, smug smile stitched to his face as he retreats to a corner of the ring.


Vinnie Lane: “Zzzzz.. Huh? Oh! He’s in the ring! Man that theme music puts me a coma, everyone, my bad.”

All three brothers emerge, with Raphael in the lead. Pausing briefly, the brothers look around at the exuberant crowd, with immense entertainment. Sharing an amused glance to one another as the fans scream. From there they walk in unison to the ring, occasionally separating to approach a random fan that's losing their mind. Clearly, enjoying the effect they have on the crowd, the Brothers Blackwater continue onward. Once they reach the ring, two of the brothers hold up the bottom rope, as Raphael slides into the ring. He then takes his place in the squared circle and awaits his opponent, while basking in the cheers from the audience.


Vinnie Lane: “I just can’t trust a man with red hair, dude. Can’t do it.”


Both competitors start in their respective corners. Raphael adjusts his boots as Mercury inspects the cage.


Vinnie Lane: "Apparently this Raph dude can control metal. If that's true Mercury is kinda screwed, my bad I guess heh."


DING! DING! DING!


The two takes a few steps into the middle and begin to circle one another; sizing one another up. Raphael raises a hand for a tie-up but Mercury refuses planting a boot on Raphael's extended knee. Raph falls to one knee and Mercury follows up with a light shin kick to Blackwater's shoulder followed by a roundhouse aimed towards the head which is barely ducked!


Raph goes low and grabs Mercury's heel and pulls the rug from under him. Mercury falls to his back and Raph drags his prone opponent towards him lamping him with an almighty forearm to the brow! Mercury is shocked but breathes out a laugh to Raphael's anger. Blackwater raises a fist high but Mercury plants his feet against his chest and pushes Raph away; Mercury rolls to his feet and the pair meet once more in the center.


Raphael leans in with a headbutt but it's dodged and Mercury goes low looking for a judo low sweep but Raph hops over the advance and swings a boot in Mercury's direction which just grazes past his chin! Raphael grabs Mercury's collar and throws a punch into Mercury's gut before wrapping both his hands around Merc's throat and lifting him high into the air!


Mercury struggles briefly but manages to have the wherewithal to lift his legs high and wrap them around Blackwater's right bicep. Mercury twists his body and throws Raph's weight to the mat transitioning into an armbreaker!


Raph cries out in the hold as Mercury pushes the limb in a way it should not bend.


Blackwater's eyes bulge from his sockets, he plants a fist down on the canvas and begins to lift himself from the mat!


Mercury tries to keep the hold locked in tight but Raph powers through the pain! He lifts Mercury up high with a single arm before forcing him back down and breaking himself free from the torturous grip! Mercury lands straight on his spine and his limbs drop; Raphael rolls his shoulder and takes a few steps back. Mercury scrambles to his feet and charges Blackwater, catching his jaw with a running European Uppercut! Raphael stumbles back into the ropes, his back resting against the steel cage. Mercury moves towards Raph's front and sends a chop across Blackwater's chest! Raph doubles over and Mercury throws a kick towards Blackwater's temple!


But it's dodged!


Raph stands up straight as Mercury's foot goes in-between the ropes, trapped very briefly Raphael takes advantage, throwing a fist down on Mercury's knee which causes him to howl in pain but Blackwater doesn't stop, quickly throwing a stiff chop against Mercury's throat which drops the monster.


Raphael grabs Mercury's collar and pushes him against the steel cage wall, shoving his head against the mesh and grating Mercury's face along the wall; Merc cries out in pain as his face fills with small red cuts. Blackwater grabs a handful of hair and pulls back before smashing Mercury's face against the cage wall! Mercury drops back onto the mat. Blackwater doesn't waste any time and begins to scale the wall!


Mercury is still dazed, blood blinding his vision.


Raphael gets up past the ropes and shows no sign of slowing.


Mercury stirs!


The crowd rallies behind both competitors!


Raphael gets a hand to the top of the cage!


Mercury stands! He sprints forward and jumps onto the ropes!


He wraps his arms around Blackwater's waist and plants both feet onto the wall! The two are sent sailing through the air in a dangerous German suplex!


The pair crash hard and explode away from each other. The fans in an uproar!


Vinnie Lane: "What a risky move! Mercury could have broken his neck, or maybe Raphael's! The other brothers are starting to scale the cage from the outside but it looks like Merc has Blackwater in his sights in the middle of the ring... DREAM KILLER!!!"


Raphael falls over unconscious from the tornado kick, and Mercury quickly makes a cover while keeping his eyes on Ezra and Donovan who've made it to the top of the cage.




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2!!









































3!!!




Vinnie Lane: "Mercury got it! And he heads for the door and escapes just as the other brothers get to Raphael! Merc is out of here like quicksilver!"

Winner by Pinfall - Mercury

"Falling Apart" by Trust Company hits over the PA system as the fans begin to cheer. Big D walks out onto the ramp with the XWF Federweight Championship over one shoulder and the Heavymetalweight Championship over the other. He takes the two belts in his hands and proudly hoists them above his head.

Vinnie: "Well, Anarchy is gettin' the D tonight! Big D walks in as a Double Champion, despite not having an official match since Leap of Faith."

Big D sets his Titles over his shoulders again and makes his way down the aisle. As he walks towards the ring, Big D has a cocky smirk on his face.

Vinnie: "He certainly doesn't look like a man who burned $25,000 and a pound of weed."

Big D walks up the steel steps and into the apron, where he shows off his gold, now again. After doing so, he climbs into the ring, walks over, and grabs a mic.

Big D: "Do I have your attention now???"

The fans roar with excitement for the Double Champion, who seems pleased with their reaction.

Big D: "I may have YOUR guys' attention, but I can't help but feel management and the other competitors backstage still don't see me. They're too busy focusing on Robert Main, Lux, and Chris Page. To them, the run of Big D is over and I'm supposed to slide to the back and let the people THEY view as Main Eventers take up all the airtime........"

Big D holds his two Titles in the air again, before continuing.

Big D: "Well if they think I'm just gonna sit in the back and watch as my inferiors get the spotlight, they've got another thing coming!!!!"

The crowd bursts into cheers at Big D's proclamation.

Big D: "If they think I'm gonna stop winning their Championships, they're in for a rude awakening! You see, I've played this game before. History is repeating itself. I was held back in WWF, and I still made the most of my opportunities! I went on to become a Double, TRIPLE Champion, and eventually people started to take note. And if that's what I have to do here, then so be it. I am capable of so much more than anyone wants to give me credit for, and I'm gonna make them all pay for it! Just wait and see......"

Big D drops the mic, as his theme song begins playing. He climbs out of the ring and starts walking up the aisle.

Vinnie: "Strong words from Big D. I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm shocked he didn't 'Cold Big D Truth' us."

Big D makes it to the ramp, where he raises his belts one last time over his head before turning and heading through the curtain to the back.

"Notorious" Ned Kaye - vs - Zane Norrison

Vinnie Lane: Our next match is sure to be an interesting one folk. The XWF's Resident Brain Eater Zane Norrison against the most recent Mr. 24/7 Ned Kaye!





Vinnie Lane: And just like that Zane Norrison is in the ring. It's almost like he appeared in there out of thin air. Or maybe he was teleported into the ring. God knows we have more than a few people on this roster with super powers.





The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye with his shiny new 24/7 briefcase. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.

The bell sounds and Ned Kaye pump fakes his head towards Norrison who then quickly takes a retreating step back. Kaye is completely unphased by it and this time charges right at Norrison bumping Norrison into the ropes and then hip tosses him into the center of the ring. Kaye quickly follows up with a double stump to Norrison's chest and then reaches down with his left arm and drags Norrison a little closer to the ropes.


Vinnie Lane: Ned Kaye is fired up. His recent winning streak seems to have him more focused than I've ever seen him.


Kaye climbs through the ropes and quickly looks out at the crowd before turning around and with both hands on the top rope stares down at his opponent.

Antony The Jerk gets up as the match looks like drawing to a close. He gives Vinny a quick wave good by on the way past, foesn't even bother looking inside the ring on the way past. He goes up the ramp, goes to the back and straight out of the arena without waiting for the last two matches.....

Vinnie Lane: Well that was...something. Back to what actually matters it looks like Ned Kaye is fixing to end this match before it ever really gets started.

Ned pulls on the top rope while on the apron and uses the momentum of the rope to cartwheel over the top rope, wrapping his legs around the neck of his opponent to get them into a headscissors.

It only takes a few seconds before Zane Norrison taps out to Kaye's trademark Disciplinary Action.


Vinnie Lane: “And just like that it's over. It's almost like Norrison couldn't be bothered to compete tonight.”

Winner by Submission: Ned Kaye

Bobbi London (w/ Maxine) - vs - Mini Morbid Internet Division Match! (Non-Title)

Mini Morbid is lowered from the rafters by a pair of “cherubs” that are very obviously just backstage extras dressed in hastily created cardboard costumes. Because the harness doesn’t quite go low enough, they have to drop him the last few feet. He bounces and then takes his place in the corner.


Vinnie Lane: “He’s so cute!”

“The Sickest C*nt” by Enkay1er begins to play as the lights turn up all through the arena. Bobbi emerges through the crowd with her Internet Title, microphone in hand as she sings along with the words to her rather obnoxious and crude theme song. She prompts the fans to sing along with her, to the delight of the young fans and shock and embarrassment of the older people and parents, who attempt to cover their children’s ears. Bobbi slowly rolls over the barricade as she finally climbs into the ring, continuing to rap and dance terribly as the fans go wild.


“Listen up tiny, I’s ‘bout to beat your hiney.
Don’t get an attitude or there’ll be some schadenfreude
I’mma drop you’s on your dome and send you back home
To that pretend kingdom you tell us all you run!”


Vinnie Lane: “That was a pretty solid set of four bars, but she didn’t have to be so rude to Mini, dude!”


Mini Morbid paces in his corner like a rabid Pomeranian.


Vinne Lane: "Morbid looking heated tonight!"


Bobbi simply chills, her arms resting on the ropes as she looks stoically at the crowd. Shades covering her eyes.

Vinnie Lane: "While Bobbi looks stooooone coooooold, bay-bee."



DING! DING! DING!


The miniature menace bounds forth with a sprint towards the beautiful Bobbi London who lowers her gaze and places an open palm to pause Mini Morbid in his place; Morbid is stopped in place by the sheer aura of sickness emitting from Bobbi London. She slowly, slowly, lowers her head and removes the sunglasses, folding them and placing them on the top turnbuckle. London breathes in deeply, her hand still in front of a bewildered Morbid, hypnotised almost. Then Bobbi pulls her arm back before knocking Mini down with a powerful palm thrust to the mask of Morbid!

Mini rolls over with the blow and gets back to his feet. He screams ancient and cryptid profanities towards London who brushes that shit off despite the fact that she may be cursed now. London cracks her neck and rushes Morbid and raises her leg for a bog boot!


Vinnie Lane: "Bobbi hit nothing but air!"


Morbid look up as the tree trunk-like leg sails over his head. Morbid moves to London's back and attacks with a Backstabber! Which may have been a mistake!


Vinnie Lane: "... Mini Morbid c'mon dude."


Morbid accidentally just crushed himself under Bobbi's mass! The ref rushes over for the count!

1!










2!!



















KICKOUT!

Kinda?

As Morbid pops out from under London oiling himself up with a squeeze bottle filled with the tears of women he has made widows. Morbid continues to lather himself with orgasmic groans as Bobbi raises an eyebrow, some OG fans join in with the groans while the more sane member chant for Bobbi London to 'fuck him up!'

London happily obliges.

She runs and angles herself low catching Morbid under the chin with a low clothesline, Morbid stumbles in place like a falling ice skater. Bobbi gets back to her feet and grabs Morbid from the back and squeezes him tightly in a bear hug! Morbid's groans turn from oddly sexual to ones of pain as London crushes his tiny ribs!

Morbid flails, getting limbs loose with the aid of his 'lube' but London refuses to let go! Keeping the hold locked in as tightly as possible.

Morbid begins to fade, his movements slow.

Until...


Vinnie Lane: "Morbid just got launched from London's grasp like a bar of prison soap!"


Morbid takes to the air as London is dumbfounded looking up. Instincts take over as Morbid snaps back to reality as there goes gravity! Doing its work sending a pint-sized nuke down on London! Hitting velocity, Morbid lays Bobbi down with a flying spear!


MORBID COVERS LONDON!


1!














2!!



















KICKOUT!

With authority! London throws Mini Morbid halfway across the ring with a mighty shove. Morbid crashes to the mat and the two get to their feet around the same time.

London rushes forward and fakes a clothesline into a discus clothesline hitting Morbid with raw power as he runs into the hit after a failed dodge. Mini glides across the mat but keeps his footing and returns with a sharp elbow to Bobbi's thigh, Morbid then tries to lift London into a powerbomb but no luck and Bobbi counters with a big back body drop!

Morbid falls to the canvas and London jumps back looking for an elbow but Morbid rolls out of the way! London slams down landing on her funny bone, that's smarts. Mini runs against the ropes and comes back nailing a rising London with a shining wizard!!!

Bobbi falls back down to her back as her eyes roll in her skull; Mini looks to the sky and asks whatever gods he believes in to give him powers as he grabs Bobbi's waist and collar before beginning to lift! Morbid raises almost 300 pounds above his head in a Gorilla Press!


Vinnie Lane: "Dude!"


Morbid then drops London with a variation of an Ace Crusher!


Vinnie Lane: "DUDE!"


Morbid hooks the leg!

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2!!















































THR-NO!!!



London gets a shoulder up!

Morbid is furious!

He slams the mat with his fists as London uses the tantrum to get onto the apron for a breather. Mini stops in a huff and roars a mighty roar, grabbing London and pulling her under the bottom rope and dragging her back into the center of the ring. Morbid raises a fist but London counters the strike with a headbutt!

Morbid is stunned!

But London doesn't relent!

Another headbutt!!

Morbid releases his grasp and stumbles back, falling into the corner. He leans against the turnbuckles trying to regain his bearings as The Internet Champion gets to her feet!

Bobbi runs!

STINGER SPLASH!!!!

Morbid is crushed between a big beautiful woman and a hard place!

He timbers down to the mat. Bobbi throws a boot down on Mini Morbid's spine before grabbing him by the scruff of the neck like a bad cat and tossing him into the ropes!

Mini Morbid hits and rebounds towards a waiting London but he slides between her legs!

And keeps sliding!

Out of the ring!

And continues sliding on the outside!


Vinnie Lane: "Oh shit! He's in the crowd!"


The sea of fans has a line cut through as Mini Morbid bowls over unsuspecting fans like a steroid-induced penguin belly sliding towards an ocean full of fish.

Fans continue to fall as the lubed-up little one slides towards the exit.

Bobbi looks on along with the referee completely dumbfounded by what the fuck just happened. The ref looks to Bobbi, grabs her wrist and raises it high into the air.

Winner by Count-out(?) - Bobbi London!

Bobbi's astonishment turns to a proud smile as her theme hits.


Vinnie Lane: "Well, not the ending people expected but ANOTHER win for Bobbi London! Congratulations! ... But, where will Mini Morbid end up?"

The ring in the center of the Centurylink Arena has been converted to a stage befitting a queen. A red carpet covers the canvas, the ropes are lined with sparkling silver garland, and a large red and black throne sits in the center. What is this? Could this be? Are we-

The lights in the arena go out and the spud-loving wrestling fans fall into an expectant hush. Please oh please oh please

Two men walk out onto the stage under a spotlight carrying trumpets.

YES! YES! IT’S HAPPENING!

A ROARING fanfare ERUPTS from the trumpets, a fanfare of so many trills and unnecessary screeching high notes that half the crowd begins jumping up and down in glee. As they kiss of the ending inSANEly high notes-

- “God Saves the Queen” begins to play. A spotlight shines down as the curtain moves and-

HOLY SHIT! THERE SHE IS! SHE’S HERE! BY GAWD, SHE’S HERE!

Walking out onto the entrance ramp is Sarah Grey-Lacklan, the pale-skinned beauty wearing a long robe of red. Her golden King of the Ring crown is expertly woven into her bright white braid and her scepter (the replacement that Nedwards’ recent winnings paid for, obvs) is in her hand. She pauses at the top of the ramp and flashes her Billion $$$ Smile at the adoring crowd before slowly making her way down the ramp. She takes a LONG time getting there since she stops to allow every fan that can reach her the opportunity to kiss the head of her pigeon-shaped scepter, which is all of them, of course, with every OTHER person in the audience just about DYING with anger and jealousy that THEY couldn’t afford the aisle seats!

Upon getting to the ring, several nameless and faceless XWF workers run over to her and leap to the ground, making a set of human stairs. Sarah climbs them, her heels digging into their necks and backs, with each of them saying “THANK YOU!” with every painful step. When she gets to the apron, another worthless XWF worker (probs one of the APK crew) joins her on the apron and lowers the ropes for her. Sarah enters the ring and is handled a microphone by Freakin’ Kyle (remember him? Still worthless!) as her music dies down. She brings the microphone to speak, but she lowers it as the crowd breaks out into a chant.

Crowd: THANK YOU SAR-AH! THANK YOU SAR-AH! THANK YOU SAR-AH! THANK YOU SAR-AH!

She smiles at them, every last $$$ of the Billions taking them in, and brings the mic to her face. But AGAIN she is interrupted by the crowd.

Crowd: YOU ARE OUR GOD! YOU ARE OUR GOD! YOU ARE OUR GOD! YOU ARE OUR GOD!

She shakes her head at them and is unable to keep the smile off her face. And still, a THIRD INTERRUPTION! THIS CROWD CAN’T STOP JERKING OFF OVER HER!

Crowd: WE’RE NOT WORTHY! WE’RE NOT WORTHY! WE’RE NOT WORTHY! WE’RE NOT WORTHY!

She is finally able to speak as the entire building shakes from the excitement of the crowd.

Sarah: My name is Sarah Grey-Lacklan…

Crowd: MARKETING GENIUS!

Sarah: ...and I am YOUR Queen of the Ring! And! AND! I am YOUR…

She opens her robe to reveal that her waist is covered with a golden title belt.

Sarah: ...ANARCHY CHAMPION!

So...you thought the crowd went nuts before?

Well, they don’t now.

Silence.

Just silence.

Pure.

A pin drops in the distance.

Noah’s salty tears can be heard falling to the floor.

We can hear the Hooded Man boring everyone to tears by recording the literal exact same selfie video in a dark corner he has done 50 times already.

A child sobs in pure overwhelmed delight.

And then the roof of the building comes off from a burst of cheers! Sitting at his desk, Vinnie is openly weeping in a mixture of happiness over his company FINALLY having validation AND the inSANE cost of having to replace this stupid roof. After many...many...MANY moments, Sarah quiets the crowd by raising her hands into the air.

Sarah: I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I won the Queen of the Ring. I picked my reward. And I pinned every person placed in front of me. And now...now...NOW! I will allow you ALL to BASK in my GLORY before I beat up Vita AGAIN and remind EVERYONE, whether they have the balls to show up and face me in person or not, that Big Match Sar, the TRUE main event attraction and prize fighter, is NOT to be trifled with! Now get out those cameras, baby birds, and make a memory that will stand the REST of your LIVES!

Sarah tosses the microphone back to freakin’ KYLE, pushes back her robe so that it curves around her #SquatBooty JUST RIGHT, and sits down on her throne in the middle of the ring.

The opening riffs of “Highly Strung” begin to play as the crowd jumps to their feet in excitement. VV runs out onto the stage and and postures for the adorning crowd. She makes her way down the ramp, slapping the outreaches hands of her fans along the way. VV the heads up the steps and runs along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV hops up and celebrates with the fans for a moment, pumping them up for the upcoming match. Finally, she settles into her corner and uses the ropes to loosen up as she waits for the match to begin.


Vinnie Lane: “Vita’s one of my favorite competitors in XWF right now… a great X-Treme Champion, Tag Team Champion… a heck of a wide receiver on my LFL team… this chick has got it all!”



The bell sounds, signifying the start of this match. Lacklan and Valenteen slowly move towards one another while keeping their eyes locked. Just before the two can lock up, VV calls for a time out!

Vinnie Lane: “What? There’s no time outs in wrestling!”

Vita Valenteen reaches out to offer her hand as a confused Sarah Lacklan looks on. After a moment, Sarah slowly reaches out and takes Vita’s hand and the two shake.

Vinnie Lane “WOW, an unexpected show of sportsmanship here toni...”

Suddenly Sarah yanks Valenteen towards her and connects with a stiff knee to the mid section!

Vinnie Lane “Oh… Well never mind then!”

Vita doubles over from the impact as Sarah quickly sweeps the legs out from under her causing Valenteen to drop to the mat. The crowd jumps to their feet to show their disapproval of Sarah’s dirty tactics, but the Queen of Anarchy is unphased. In fact, she smiles and raises her arms as she struts around the ring soaking in the reaction. This gives VV time to recover, and next thing you know she pushes up to her feet and immediately rushes Sarah Lacklan to overwhelm her with a series of elbows to the side of the head. Lacklan does her best to cover up and guard. She blocks a few blows then grabs Valenteen in the clinch and hits some knees to her midsection. Valenteen hits some knees herself then they separate and take turns kicking each other in the midsection to see which one crumbles first. They are both starting to feel the damage until Valenteen hits a low kick and then an Enziguri to take Lacklan down. Valenteen then stomps Lacklan into the mat with wild abandon.

[color=#ff1493Vinnie Lane: “Forget about the sweet and innocent routine, Vita Valenteen is here to fight!”

Valenteen bounces off the ropes to hit a Dropkick on a rising Lacklan. Valenteen taunts Lacklan by mocking her strut from earlier as Lacklan begins to pull herself up to her feet. Valenteen bounces off the ropes once more. Lacklan trips her up as she gets close and sprints up herself to hit a Running Leg Drop. Lacklan hits a Jumping Elbow Drop and kips up to slap her butt in Valenteen’s general direction. The fans start chanting for Valenteen to Kiss their Asses and she gets up and charges at Lacklan to hit some elbows then a Snap Suplex. Lacklan rolls up after that one and Valenteen hits a Jumping DDT. Valenteen rolls over to cover Lacklan










1!



































2!!































Lacklan kicks out!

Valenteen tries to end Lacklan with a Package Piledriver but Lacklan manages to get out of her grasp. Vita desperately tries to regain control, but Lacklan hits a Pele Kick from out of nowhere to stun Valenteen. Then she picks Valenteen up to put her on her shoulders. Valenteen squirms which causes Lacklan to move around the ring trying to hold her up. Valenteen manages to grab the top ropes and then she hits Lacklan with a few elbows. When Lacklan has enough of it she dumps Valenteen over the top ropes to the outside. Valenteen falls hard. Lacklan runs across the ring to bounce off the ropes looking to dive with a Suicide dive but Valenteen stops her by springboarding off of the top rope and connecting with Eat The Feet!

Vinnie Lane: “Whoa! We’ve seen this before, it could be lights out for Sarah Lacklan!”

Valenteen is quick to make the pin, but the official quickly points out that Sarah’s foot is under the ropes. VV jumps to her feet and grabs a hold of Lacklan as she begins guiding her up as well, but fires off with a shot to the midsection that sends VV reeling and allows Sarah to stand up on her own. The two women then move in on each other and begin to exchange violent right hands, but that quickly breaks down to a flurry of wild lefts and rights from both women. Eventually Sarah backs off, but Vita refuses to let up and moves in to continue the fight! Sarah dips through the ropes to the outside to catch a breather as Vita begins taunting her from inside of the ring.

Sarah just smiles at the spunky competitor as the referee begins the ten count. At the five mark, VV jumps through the ropes to break the count, but Sarah uses this as an opportunity to slide back into the ring. VV turns and slides in as soon as she realizes what just happened, but it proves to be a poor move on her part as Sarah waits and hits a Shining Wizard as Valenteen tries to get to her feet.

Vinnie Lane: “Oh WOW, Vita was just struck so hard by Sarah that I think my ears are ringing dude!”

Sarah rolls Vita up and grabs a fist full of tights without the official noticing!







1!



































2!!




























3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Sarah Lacklan

Vinnie Lane: “Sarah Lacklan using some questionable tactics to get a win here tonight, I don’t think Vita is too happy about it… she’s raising a stink in the ring about having her tights pulled… security now getting both women out of the ring… wait hold on, what the heck?”

There’s a MASSIVELY loud reception from the crowd as all heads in the ring shift towards the top of the ramp where we see THE TRISTAN SLATER, JOHN CABLE, MDK, BILL BLAKK, RAGE, FAMINE of the VILE and “BIGG RIGG” JOHN GAMBINO emerge out to the top of the ramp forming a line across the top of the entrance ramp as they stare towards the ring. A very uneasy feeling come across the area as we see THE TRISTAN SLATER and CABLE step to the side as ADAM BARKER is shown walking out to the top of the ramp in a fine suit and he’s holding up the XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP where he’s followed by none other than the man that left all your jaws on the fucking ground with his performance at Leap of Faith… the REAL XWF Universal Champion, “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!


The crowd’s pop dwindles out to loud boo’s as a smug CHRIS PAGE follows ADAM down the ramp and he’s followed by all of his brothers down to ringside. The occupants of the ring think better of the situation and exit as we see MDK, FAMINE and RIGG climb up on the ring apron and enter the ring while CABLE. SLATER, BLAKK and RAGE slide into the ring on the camera sides. ADAM BARKER, still with the Universal Championship high in the air as he walks up the ring steps and to the ring apron before we see CHRIS climb up on the ring apron where he steps into the ring followed by ADAM BARKER. RAGE has already picked up a microphone where he hands it over to ADAM BARKER who finally lowers the Universal Championship in order to use a free hand to take the stick, the music fades away leaving boos from the crowd as ADAM BARKER is shown stating.


ADAM BARKER- “Ladies and Gentleman… my name is ADAM BARKER, and tonight we come before you tonight to present you with a REAL Championship ceremony with the REAL reigning, defending, undisputed XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION… and the man that ROBERT MAIN fears every time he closes his eyes… I give to you “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!”


The crowd roars with boos while the ring of talent applauds as we see ADAM BARKER hand over the microphone to the REAL XWF Universal Champion. There’s a smirk from CHRIS as a massive “FUCK YOU PAGE! FUCK YOU PAGE! FUCK YOU PAGE!” chant starts to echo throughout the area. CHRIS laughs as he glances towards ADAM who proudly shows him the XWF Universal Championship. CHRIS shifts back towards the camera as he raises the microphone and starts to speak.


CHRIS PAGE- “The first thing I’d like to say to all of you on the ANARCHY roster is… You’re Welcome.”


There’s a slight pause from CHRIS before he immediately follows up.


CHRIS PAGE- “You’re welcome for actually providing you all with some goddamn star power for once while you all play with yourselves here on Thursday Night’s.”


The chant from the crowd picks right back up as CHRIS nods his head before taking a look around the ring at his brothers before he shifts back towards the “hard camera”.


CHRIS PAGE- “When I heard there was a Championship Ceremony tonight I was a little butt-hurt that my phone didn’t ring because not only did you crown a new Anarchy Champion but I left Leap of Faith with the XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP in my camp!”


The chant breaks out into massive boos from the crowd as CHRIS continues.


CHRIS PAGE- “You can boo me all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I am NINE/TENTHS the Universal Champion while the man you all worship and the same guy that leaves daily deposits on the corner of GILMOUR’s mouth is walking around staking his ONE/TENTH to MY Championship. That’s cool, that’s okay and that’s exactly what the fuck I’d expect which is why we’re going to settle ALL of this at RENLENTLESS when we are locked inside Hell in a Cell!”


There’s a pop from the crowd at the mention of Hell in a Cell as we see CHRIS continue.


CHRIS PAGE- “Nothing was settled at Leap of Faith and if DICK or anyone else thinks our business was finished you’re all sadly mistaken as the RELENTLESS Main Event is set and once again it will feature CHRIS FUCKING PAGE! “


CHRIS’s tone shifts to a more serious and malicious one as he continues.


CHRIS PAGE- “Each and every person on the XWF roster, all nine hundred members of XWF Management and more importantly each and every fan that watches this product on a daily basis should be worshipping the ground that WE walk on, you should be THANKING us for single handedly saving your product and presenting you with the most successful and profitable quarter this company has had in several years!”


There’s a slight pause from CHRIS before he continues.


CHRIS PAGE- “Come Relentless we’re going screw this company just like this company screwed us! I’m going to leave STILL the XWF Universal Champion and either MDK and BLAKK or SLATER and CABLE will leave as the XWF Tag Team Champions! The next and final step will be to take the rest of you gold! You can try to stop us but ultimately you’re just going to get run the fuck over!”


There’s another brief pause from CHRIS before he closes this thing out.


CHRIS PAGE- “Tonight this isn’t the Ceremony for your newly crowned Champion on Thursday Nights… Tonight is the celebration, tonight is the ceremony for you REAL XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!”


PAGE drops the microphone as confetti that’s been cut in the form of middle fingers starts to drop from the rafters all over the entire building while pyro starts to shoot off from the ring posts in various colors as ADAM BARKER holds up the Universal Championship to the right of CHRIS PAGE which brings the telecast to a close.





The crowd EXPLODES as we see everyone in the ring looking in all directions for the REAL XWF Universal Champion! No one walks out at the top of the ramp, suddenly the crowd ROARS louder as ROBERT MAIN is shown walking into the lower bowl of the arena from the concourse level with a large sign which reads “JOB SQUAD’S NUMBER ONE FAN” displayed high above his head! MDK, RAGE, BLAKK, SLATER, FAMINE surround PAGE and BARKER while RIGG and CABLE walk towards the ropes looking up into the crowd as now ROBERT is surrounded by the XWF faithful! ROBERT lowers the sign before ripping it in half to a thunderous ovation! In the ring we see CHRIS PAGE snatch the XWF Universal Championship before walking towards the set of buckles facing MAIN where he climbs up on the middle ropes holding the belt up towards MAIN! Disgust is written all over RICHARD’s face as his tosses the pieces of the sign as he and CHRIS PAGE lock eyes; Page talking shit as he taunts ROBERT with the Universal Championship.















WHAT THE FUCK!




CHRIS points towards MAIN winking at him as the telecast comes to a close.

Vinnie Lane: “I don’t know what to make of any of this, dudes… “Chronic” Chris Page is totally out of control! And Robert Main appears to be playing some head games with Page. Sarah Lacklan and Vita Valenteen are probably going to kill each other when these cameras shut off… which is… NOW!”


Anarchy fades out.

Special Thanks To: Theo Pryce James Raven Noah Jackson Vita Valenteen Sarah Lacklan The Truth

We catch up to Vita Valenteen after the show with an XWF online exclusive!

"Ya know, I said that tonight was going to be different. Tonight I was going to get my career back on track and become one of the marquee names in the XWF, but it seems as if that wasn't in the cards for me after all."

VV looks away from the camera as a slight giggle escapes lips. She brushes her hair out of her eyes as she stares at the floor and its then that you realize that her hands are trembling.

"Fair play and sportsmanship aren't commodities that you see often around here…"

A nervous smile forms as VV struggles with what to say next.

"I guess it isn't cheating unless you get caught huh? Sarah didn't get caught… Nope, 1...2...3… As far as the record books go, she won and I lost. There won't even be so much as an asterisk to say otherwise."

She draws in a deep breath and releases it in a vent of frustration.

"So what's next for VV?"

Another deep sigh.

"Tonight sucked, but it's not going to deter me, not in the slightest, and next Anarchy, I'm going to take all of my frustration out on whoever is unlucky enough to be placed across from me in that ring. After that…"

VV looks directly into the camera with a fierce look of determination.

"I'm coming for you Sarah, because this thing between us, it isn't over... Not by a long shot!"