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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Anarchy Special" RP Board
I'm So Good I Can Make a John Austin Promo Watchable (RP 5)
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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick Offline
Waves don't die.



XWF FanBase:
Women and gay men

(physically attractive male on every level; can seduce you; that disarming smile; those bedroom eyes)


#1
06-07-2013, 06:56 PM

Act 5: Rambling, Witty Title

Nothing from the video production department today. They must've all watched Luca's promos and become the highest quality workers that they're all capable of being. Good for them, no seriously.

If they're all watching Luca, then none of them are subjecting themselves to the torture of CM Punk, or even worse, the flavorless flavor of the month known as John Austin.

Anyway, the scene opens up to Luca and Katrina sitting in the middle of what looks like a forest. There's something noticeably off about Luca though, he's dressed up as if he was imitating John Austin, even going so far as to wear a plain white T Shirt with the words "John Austin" written on it.

Could this be the new John Austin T shirt that's selling at $19.99 on XWFshopzone.net.com.gov.dot.org.?

It definitely could pass for such. A bland, vanilla shirt for a bland, vanilla guy.

"Oh hello, as you can tell by my shirt, I'm John Austin. I have to write it there like a name tag because I even forget who I am sometimes. Wow, I'm facing Luca and Punk and their a poison rotting the world to a core. I'm saying it like it's a bad thing despite both of them saying similar things in their own promos! How smart am I?

Oh yeah, have I mentioned that I'm going to be King yet? Like seriously, the European title is below me, even though the champ could kick my ass in a breeze. I'm going to go after John Madison because he's the King and he stole my first name hurr dee durr!

And when I am the King, I'm going to make Luca and Punk my bitches, because that's what a good, non poisonous in his own right King does! I live the good life without realizing I'm more diseased than 75% of the women in this country! Brazil for life!

Did I mention that I'm going to be King, because that's my ultimate goal. King Austin, yeah it'll be so good when I'm King! I can see it now, bitches at my feet, getting more hos on my dick than Lil B. The good life...

...

...

...

..."


It appears Luca has fallen asleep while trying to recreate the fire that only John Austin can bring to his promos. Katrina starts to giggle as she nudges Luca awake, but the bastard's in pretty deep. No sleeping pills were necessary as "God's Cure for Insomnia" has helped yet another person get some much needed shut eye.

Finally, Kat succeeds in waking up Luca, who groggily looks around their surroundings for a bit.

"Woah, what happened? And why am I dressed up like a waste of space?"

"You fell asleep imitating John Austin."

"You mean I was imitating John Austin, I'm pretty sure he puts himself to sleep too. He just cares enough about his own image to edit it out."

"You're probably right."

"Damn right I am!"

He smacks Kat on the ass before hopping back to his feet to continue on with his rant.

"Johnny boy, when will you learn that there is no intrigue behind any of the mindless babble you put forth for people to trudge through? That no one wants to see you as King. When John fucking Madison has a higher approval rating than you, you're doing something way wrong. Like seriously. Why the hell am I still wearing this shirt?!"

Luca rips off the shirt and tosses it on the ground. The man came prepared however, with a Lil B shirt on under it. Wait a minute, he has a Little B T shirt? How much of a douche is this guy anyway?

"I'd like to remind you of one thing, John. A bit of a heads up, if you will. What happens in Rio, will likely give you herpes. Seriously, wrap that shit. I would just like that to go on record as something nice I did for a rook before I fucking curb stomp him.

King Madison will never be dethroned. Not by you, not by Gilly, not by any other fucking imbecile who tries. Because you can't read the writing on the wall, none of you can. Your tunnel vision only allows you to look ahead, so let me read it for you.

You're all a bunch of shitheads, don't waste your time.

There.

Right there is all you need to know about the crown.

It's a trap, a lure to bring you closer to the guillotine. But you're not going to listen to me, you're too dead set.

Your good life?

Here's the reality, because if you're going to sing, so am I!

You can check out any time you'd like...

...But you can never leave!"


One more smirk in the direction of the camera.

"Shut the fuck up until you're interesting."

Fade to whatever color you want.


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[-] The following 3 users Like #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick's post:
(06-07-2013), CM Punk (06-07-2013), John Austin (06-08-2013)




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