TITLE SHOULD BE: Gloriously Awesome vs Cunt Fucks

Don't believe title was appropriate as a summary......

Told through the words of The Miz:

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There's nothing better in the world than waking up and having a heavily pregnant horny wife who wants sex. What a great way to start the day, especially after waiting a whole first trimester where she doesn't really want to be touched.

But those days were gone and for the last few mornings I was given an early morning wake up present.

Don't get me wrong, but the thought of our manager Paul Heyman, calling us all to a special meeting here in Austin, didn't even come into my thought process, as the simple pleasure of pleasuring my beautiful sexy wife, was my immediate focus.

---

I was having a hot shower to wash away the love making smells, when Maryse sticks her head through the bathroom door.

MARYSE: "Babe!"

MIKE: "Yes honey?"

MARYSE: "You know how you have been waiting for that first round draw for that XWF Tag Team Competition thingee?"

MIKE: "Yes?"

MARYSE: "The first round draw has just come out, and come through in our email. You are facing a group called...... Ew what a name.... Sick Cunts.... A Noah Jackson and A.. Fuzz? Do you know them?"

Shit, I thought, digesting the news, not these two idiots. One was forever saying 'cunt' and the other loved saying 'Fuck', instead of the name Sick Cunts they should be called 'Cunt Fucks' but I wadn't going to say that to my wife.

MARYSE: "Mikey?"

MIKE: "Yea sorry... I've heard of them, but let's just say they're not very nice to know,"

MARYSE: "There's something else!"

I turn the shower off, and climbed out of the shower, and stood fully naked in front of my wife, who smiled at the sight.

MIKE: "You were saying, Babe?"

MARYSE: "There's something else!"

MIKE: "Okay, what is it?"

MARYSE: "According to online gossip, XWF jokingly changed the name of your tag team and Heyman took issue with it, so because of that they changed it even further!"

MIKE: "To what?"

MARYSE: "Don't get angry Babe!"

MIKE: "To what babe? Just tell me!"

MARYSE: "Gloriously Awful,"

I kept calm but on the inside I was fuming and as I got dressed in silence Maryse knew it too. She quickly left me alone and I went and collected my stuff.

Bloody Paul Heyman, I thought, always opening his big fat mouth after I warned him about not messing with XWF Management because unlike the WWE management, these lot were unforgiving. And now we were on the backfoot.

Absolutely Awful, what a sad fucking way to be known as.

My life wouldn't be worth living if I didn't kiss Maryse goodbye, so I did just that and she knew what I was struggling with, and gave me a hug. I gave my daughter Munroe Skye a kiss goodbye and left.

I ended up at the private gym that Robert and I were training at for our first round clash against Noah and Fuzz.

Low and behold as soon as I walked through the doors, Paul Heyman, was there discussing the very same subject with Robert.

He must have seen how angry I was approaching him, as he instantly put up both hands....

PAUL HEYMAN: "Now, now, Mike, hold up a second, I was only trying to sort the situation out,"

Robert quickly went to the side of the gym, to avoid my rage,

MIKE: "Did I or Did I not warn you Paul, NOT to mess with the XWF management, because they would be the ones to stick it to us, and you did your thing and low and behold see what the fuck happened... "

'whack' I grabbed a chair nearest Paul and threw it towards the ring in the middle of the gym,

MIKE: "Now we will be forever known as Absolutely Awful,"

Unbeknownst by both Paul and I, Ken Kennedy, or Mr. Kennedy in character, had arrived, and had joined Robert and was talking to him.

PAUL HEYMAN: "Mike they are just trying to get under your skins, they were only reacting to what I asked for...."

MIKE: "That's why I hate the XWF, every little misstep and they seem to judge you, and belittle you,"

Whack, another chair goes flying.

MR KENNEDY: "Hey Heyman, there's a English idiot named Ted or something like that, hanging around outside."

Paul turned around and looked at Ken.

PAUL HEYMAN: "You mean Todd?"

MR KENNEDY: "Whatever,"

PAUL HEYMAN: "Oh good he's here for you,"

I could see Ken was about to open his mouth but decided against it as Paul just walked past him and headed for the door. But, Ken, for some reason seemed to instead focused on me.

MR KENNEDY: "Hey Mikey stop being a whino and turn it around to your advantage like we know you can do,"

I turned around and looked at Ken with fire in my eyes. I didn't know why I felt so angry, but a part of me felt Ken was only trying to get me to focus, but the other half felt like it was an attack on me instead.

ROBERT: "Bad choice of words. If I were you, I'd make like a tree and leave,"

Puns not withstanding, Ken decided to take Robert up on his offer and he turned and hightailed it to the door as Robert intercepted me and tried to calm me down.

ROBERT: "He was only joking Mike, let him go,"

MIKE: "He's just copying what we are going to get from team Cunt Fucks...."

I smiled, that felt so good to say. Robert smiled back. He got the joke.

ROBERT: "Can we focus now and get back to training?"

MIKE: "Sure,"

We started our training.

To be continued

---

The camera fades into the gym that The Miz had hired out and he was standing alone in the middle of the ring looking into the camera itself.


"I'm sure you all missed me... anyway too bad if you don't because welcome to the must see sports entertainment in all of wrestling, then, now and forever.... welcome to........ MIZ TV."

"And what a show I have for you all tonight. I have 3 very special guests, so let's get started. Introducing first and foremost..."

'Destroy the Evidence' by Clowns hit the sound system of the gym and the Miz walked to the ropes.

"No fucking way.... I thought he wasn't coming?"

The music kept playing, but still no Noah Jackson showed up. Instead the word 'cunt' filled the screen.

CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT

"There we have it folks, the very substance that is Noah fucking Jackson. The dude doesn't have much substance anyway. He lost to Sarah Lacklan at the Pay Per View just gone."

"Before the PPV they went hammer for tongs against one another, verbally and mentally. At the event either one could have won but in the end Sarah won and she unfortunately met a stinky end."

"One has to wonder what part, Noah had to play in that, as he did see the unfortunate event coming, and reacted faster than poor old Sarah did. Coincidence?"

"Now Noah is going to go on the defensive about my tag team partner, Robert and myself being from the WWE and how much we suck because we use catch phrases which suck but let me just say that's the pot calling the kettle black, like hello!!!!!

"Noah's catchphrase is simply 'cunt', so Noah, pull the fucking other one and try again, your claim won't be rewarded here.
Try again buddy.....

"Now for my second guest of the night.... ladies and gentlemen please make welcome....."

'The Reason' by Steve Stone hits the gyms sound system, and once again the Miz went to the ropes.

"Oh my god, I didn't know Fuzz was coming? No way,"

Once again the music kept on playing and like before there was no sign of Fuzz. The music died away and also like before words came up on the screen.

I WAS a champion in the past. I WAS good I WAS the best I WAS at the very top of my game I WAS better than everyone

"The key word there is WAS. Fuzz WAS the best, WAS a former champion, WAS on top of the XWF mountain, but now look at him. He is a has been. He's tried so hard at coming back that he can't even win any titles, and he will say, I guarantee you all, that I am irrevelant. He's is more irrevelant now as ever. He can't recapture his former glory, so he's using Noah to help him."

"I can also virtually guarantee you all that he's going to attack MIZ TV as crap as I am, well I say thay his After Thought programme us more of a reflection on him as he is in everyone's after thought. Good job Fuzz coming up with something thathat couldbe turned against you, idiot."

"But that's all I'm prepared to spare on Fuzz and Noah. Those two are two idits looking to get their careers jump started again by using each other, and sucking up to them. Well done guys on that front."

"But now it's time to introduce the main guest for tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls please welcome..."

The Miz walked to the ropes to anticipate the new arrival. Instead....

'I came to play' hit the gym's sound system, and he gave a huge smile to the camera.

"That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's me and all this time, I have been the special guest and come next week on Saturday night Savage....."


"Because together with Bobby Roode we are going to put Noah Cunt Jackson and Fuzz Fucker in their place and win our first round match and book ourselves in the second round because I am the Miz and I am..........."