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Robert "The Omega" Main · (07-17-2019)

Here’s the biggest cup of coffee I could find.

Thanks, kid.

Ned nods not sure how the dynamic of this brotherhood runs just yet. Robert waste no time reaching for his flask in the back pocket of his jeans pouring in a hefty serving of bourbon into the coffee. Ned raises his eyebrow as Robert takes a small sip leering over the coffee mug that reads “world’s greatest mom”.

Ned where’s Drew?

Ned takes a long look at the ground before replying

Your not going to believe this…

Robert interrupts immediately

It’s Drew anything is possible. He’s had me jump out of a plane before, accidently drugged me.. Uh.. Bought numerous things without my permission most recently a freaking water bed from Amazon. Threw a brink on a plane in first class knocking a flight attendant out cold because of Mountain Dew. Nothing will shock or surprise me at this point. He’s a walking shit-show.

Last time I saw him we were down by the barn. He said he needed a seeing-eye horse and you’d pay for it.

Did you say a seeing-eye horse?

Ned nods

Okay you surprised me.

Robert takes a few steps back trying to let everything sink in eyeballing the farmhouse in front of him. The grizzled house donned the color of unfinished wood, discolored and weather-beaten for umpteen years by the overpowering elements, simmered by the sweltering summer sun. The wood itself was splintered, warped twisted by the shrinking grain. That decaying relic of a farmhouse spoke volumes about burdens and tribulations, faith, hardiness and vulnerability. A rich history determined now by the present, a hopeful future. This farmhouse engaged the world arrogantly and defiantly with a rusted metal roof and drooping porch. Although no one would ever describe this ancient house as lavish, it's unpolished, charm somehow corresponded with the awe-inspiring backdrop surrounding it. Robert takes a few steps forward taking a seat on the porch steps just watching life pass him by.

My grandparents owned a farm just like this one. I would stay at their place every single day in the summer and even though it was hotter than hell because they didn’t have any air-conditioning. I still loved it. The farm was my little piece of heaven. We would go fishing and swim in the pond, hunt squirrels with my grandpas 22. Rifle and go horseback riding. But the best part kid, was old fashioned smores by the campfire. You’ve had a smore fresh from the campfire, haven’t you?

I can’t say that I have.

An astonishing look forms on Robert's face

You will tonight.

Robert taps his snakeskin cowboy boot on the wood step for a few moments thinking back to when he was a child. The farm was every youngster's dream. In most cases, the farmhouse was inviting warmed in the winter by a woodburning stove and cooled in the brutal summer by opening the windows. The kitchen always had the aroma of grandmas baking every single day of the year. Robert then takes a deep breathtaking another sip of coffee.

Tell you what Ned, go down to the barn and see if you can find Drew. I’ll be down there shortly.

Sure thing. Uh.. if I find him is there a message you’d like me to relay?

Robert leisurely shakes his head no as Ned walks off

Page, watched your latest and greatest, but I don’t think I’m going to respond. I honestly don’t know how I can make you look anymore abysmal. Some of the things that you said though.. Wow! Are you sure weed is the only thing you’ve been smoking? I think you might be smoking bath salts, your looking dingy and cracked out. I mean thinking for one fucking second that you are going end my career? (Robert takes another sip of his coffee laced with fine Kentucky bourbon.) Damn son that's some pure comedy gold. When you start rambling those weed stained lips it sounds like a microwave is starting to melt. Because the shit you say doesn’t translate to anything. You’re drunk as piss off this egotistical power trip talking all this smack. Bitch, I’ve been serving haters like Sonic since winning the Universal Championship. How much of fucking sociopath are you? Nobody looks at you like the God that you believe you are. Huffing and puffing like you’re the Big Bad Wolf. Your yesterday’s news. Look at you short and stubby with a face that was born for punching.

You can continue to keep raising your voice, after this match I’ll keep raising the bar. Watch out folks the “Stoned” one just drank a Monster, now he thinks he's going savage. Shooting at me with a bb gun, making all these erroneous claims is like saying you run shit with two prosthetic legs. The only thing that you are hoping for is that I slingshot your career to heights it’s never seen. You seek relevance? Look no further because I’m about to make your ass famous. Robert “The Omega” Main takes broken down geriatric

like yourself to newfound heights. Bring a canaster of air to the top of the mountain where I reside, I’d hate for you to become short of breath and die before I get the opportunity to wax you. Somebody needs to get a pussy hat and send it to this dweeb. You cry so damn much your probably waterlogged. You picked the wrong hillbilly to go against. You wanted the spotlight Mr. Topic of Discussion? But instead, what happened Chris Page got bitch smacked. I mean God Damn Page what you want a round two for? Haven’t you learned I don’t take L’S? I bet you thought you had a plan to get that Wargames L back through this loophole. Let me break this down for you “Chronic” Chris Page the doubter.

Robert points at the camera with a Cheshire cat grin

You are afraid of what I’m doing because your career never soared to the heights mine has. I’ve never been a man that will be turned into a puppet. I’m no company clay. Every wrestler before you that has discredited me, ended up the same way you have staring at the arena lights. I’ve proved every single skeptic wrong. Chaos called me a “paper champion” as well. Now, where is he? The man won’t even show his god damn face. His puss is filled with so much sand he QUIT! This business is my element, and the pile of skeletons I’ve left in my wake are evidence of everything that I did while defending what was delicate. Do you believe that your group of dickless wonders was the first to try and storm the gates of the XWF? This invasion was dead on arrival. It’s been done before and those who did it then, I stepped up with my brothers and made their careers disappear. I’m just a person who isn’t afraid of the scrutiny. I’ve never backed away from the truth and through that lies immunity. All this wasted energy and your singular goal is stopping me. Chris Page, you had better get some better dreams. While I have been on the grind for years in this business finally reaching the brass ring you have been elsewhere trying to run a company while on your knees. The problem with his entire situation is you are envious. I cannot change the fact that you despise who you’ll never be.

The camera pans around Robert as he begins making his way towards the old barn off in the distance. The smell of fresh-cut hay fills the air opening the senses. Hay bales lie haphazardly over the closely cropped stubble of what was once a field. The brilliant golden hues seem immeasurable under the glaring sun, each strand its own extraordinary variation. To touch they have a coarseness, a delicateness. Robert watches his boots move across the land noticing inside many dried flowers and pollen that when he moves his feet no matter how gently a plume of dust surrounds him keeping the sophisticated scent of the summer close. He reaches out, running his hand over the brittle hay bales thinking to himself that they won't be out here much longer. They must be moved quickly before the summer rains come leaving dampness that hangs in the air every farmer dread’s after a fresh crop. Robert looks over his left shoulder speaking once more

Anything coming from a guy that is one brain synapse away from being in a coma, I don’t put too much merit into anything that rambles off that liar’s tongue. When I came into this business a few years ago and looked at the road that people like you Page paved for the rest of us. I have seen nothing but potholes. Guys like you came into this business and stripped mined it, took what you could get out of it like a cheap date and left what was left for the rest of us. You left the up and coming talent with the broken pieces to pick up and try and put back together. You’ve raped every company you have ever been a part of. When you were in the XWF this place was a shit show. When you left to run your own company, the same damn thing happened. It collapsed underneath the smugness of that you flaunt. Everything that you have ever touched has turned to utter shit. I refuse to let that happen to this company. For years guys like Raven, Drew, Cent and myself have tried to dig this business out of the funk you and your boys left it in.

You are the one that ran your motor mouth until your luck ran out at Savage. You can sugar coat it to the boys however you’d like. You can tell them you’d wanted to give us a bit of hope to keep moral up. Page, the circumstances of what happened to you is just the beginning. This is all a result of your selfishness. I hope that you understand I had to spill your blood all over the ring because apparently, my words are not getting through to you. You are fucking with a stick of dynamite. I don’t blame you for the sins that you’ve committed through a clouded mind. In this Death Match though, you’ll pay for every single one of them, a drop of blood at a time. That sick twisted mind can try and weave all the magic in the world, in the end, though there is just no other way out of this besides in a body bag. This predicament is far more serious than you are leading on. You know it, your boys know it. Speaking of those boys. As much as you kiss MDK’s ass, one would think you came out his booty hole.

As Robert approached the barn he noticed it had seen better days. Years of rain, sleet and snow had taken its toll. The construction that once kept the weather off the summers hay and the sheltering animals was now falling to pieces. The roof that had been cedar shingles the same as the old farmhouse Robert just walked from was worse than redneck with one tooth. Tiles were misplaced, decomposing or sticking up at awkward angles. In certain places an unyielding patch of sun-bleached the red paint that barley clung to the wooden sides, but otherwise it was as brown as the mud surrounding it. Robert gives the old barn door a slight tug ripping the door completely off its hinges. He checks to see if he spilt any of his coffee before ducking underneath the door frame entering another world. It's the smell that hit him first.

The musty odor of last summer's straw presses your senses first, slowly pushing its way your nose. Robert shakes his head noticing a ladder to the hayloft, but only a moron would climb it. Either the rungs would break, or the loft would fail to bear an ounce of weight. A barn usually has an ammonia odor as the air swirls with dust, but all that was long gone. Washed out and diluted. Then Robert detects the slightest undertones of stuffy animal musk and maybe the razor-sharp essence of old, oily metal and machinery. Soon after the smell, his eyes try to compensate for the dim light, Robert begins to make out the shapes of dusty frames of wooden stalls and poles. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches a silhouette drop down from the rafters next to him. It’s Ned

I assume you didn’t find Drew?

I can’t find him anywhere. A horse is missing though. How can a guy who has mind splitting headaches due to light ride a horse?

Robert scratches his head unsure how to answer handing Ned his coffee mug.

It’s Drew anything is possible. Take a swig it will perk you up.

Ned places the mug to his lips taking a rather large gulp. Instantaneously he shakes his head handing the mug back to Robert coughing.

That’s the worst tasting coffee I’ve ever tasted.

Robert slaps Ned on the back grinning

It’s not coffee I drank that shit. That right there is pure unadulterated bourbon kid.

How do you drink it straight up like that?

It’s an acquired taste. Hey. Uh.. While we got a second Leap Of Faith. You’ve got an opportunity to shock the world. Last year I was up in those very rafters fighting a bunch of bastards for a shot a glory. Now fast forward to today, I’m the second longest-reigning Universal Champion in XWF history and a sure-fire first-round Hall of Famer.

A gleam shines in Ned’s eyes

Is there any advice you can give me going in since you have been there before?

Robert shrugs

Kid honestly just go into the thing with an open mind. Don’t expect anything other than the confrontation of a lifetime. I went in and did expect to win. It’s all about the luck of the draw. My suggestion is thing kick as much ass as you can and open cases as quickly as possible. If anyone deserves this match it’s you. Your time is coming Ned. I told you that when we faced one another. You are a diamond in the rough. That’s why you are riding with us brother.

Robert slaps Ned on the back one more time with a smile

What about Chris Page?

Robert points to the cameraman behind them

Kid here’s how it’s done.

Robert and Ned begin walking towards the door when Robert begins ripping Chris Page to shreds once more

I heard one of your butt buddies or boyfriend, Tristan Slater, out there slobbing your knob harder than a crack hoe looking for her next hit. It’s 2019 just admit that your all queers. Hell, he even stated that if you Chris Page cannot lift the Championship from my shoulder which you will not. He, MDK, or some other jackass from yesteryear will try next. “Chronic” even your supposed brother doubt you have in in the tank to take me down. They want you to fail Chris. Why? Isn’t that part of the equation clear? They are using you just like you are using every one of them. The question is whose well will dry up first? These guys want their shots also and after I destroy you, it’ll be a blast watching you eat one another. I will single handily put each of you down with surgical precision. Each one of you is going to all fall into the very same trap. Because I have the golden carrot you all seek. You need it to revive your shit careers. All of you! You boys want it so badly. By all means, after I am done with your fearless leader come and fucking get it. I’ll stomp each of you out as well. But lest make a line huh. I can only beat so many asses at one time.

The problem Page is they too know the truth, the tables have turned and at Leap Of Faith, I’m going to flip the entire table over on top of you. I’m not the type of man that you are used to. I get it though you are as tough as they come and hard as nails. Your entire career you’ve learned how to duck, run and tuck tail. Raven ran you off last time, this time when I step into the middle of the ring I dare you to call me a paper champion to my face. I’ll make sure after you speak those words you’ll be talking without teeth. Shit is about to get ugly and you have placed it all on the line betting with your career against a man who has lost a total of four matches. I’ve been steadily winning for years now. I am not surprised one bit that I had what it took from the beginning. This business is engrained in my DNA. From day one I was full speed running over anyone who stepped in my fucking lane. Now I’m helping train rookies Like Ned right here for the big league. I'm offensively dangerous, bases are loaded and it’s a full count. Problem is now you’ve got to pitch to me. And when all the pressure in the world is in my face. I do what a select few can. I knocking that shit out of the park.

Outside the barn, Robert and Ned both watched as a horse broke out from the tree line. The stallions chestnut coat flowed as fluid as water, his stocky appendages moving faster than anyone would have thought possible. The hard summer soil was no match for the hooves and in their wake, sod went flying in the air in an arcing motion. His head was extended forward but his ear was flat back, puffs of moisture escaping from his nostrils. A magnificent sight, as Robert and Ned moved off toward the trees, curious to see what in the hell was going on. Sleek, muscles that roll underneath the supple coat that hangs heroically on the horse’s frame. A flowing mane that unfurls and whips as the wind rushes over the horse’s head. The thundering of hooves split the silence as a lone stallion galloped through the field closer and closer to Robert and Ned. The wind wisped his mane into the air like flames. His muscles rippled from under his freshly groomed pelt and his powerful legs. They propelled him forward and kept him going as he bulldozed over the land. Ned suddenly notices there’s someone on the horse’s back

…Uh. Who’s on the back of that horse with all the cowboy gear on?

Robert laughs

One guess kid.

Drew?

Bingo!

Drew the cowboy leered down at Robert and Ned from under his wide-brimmed hat and dark sunglasses his moment in the glory. Robert’s eyes narrowed as he watched Drew place his hand on the holstered rifle at the horse’s side. Drew spat on the dirt at Ned and Robert’s feet. Robert is the first to speak.

Drew what the hell are you doing on a horse when you can barely even see?

This right here is my new seeing-eye horse.

Robert places his hand over his face

Drew you have a dog.

Drew reaches around to the back of the horse hitting play on a 1980’s boombox playing white noise. Ned looks around unsure of what’s going on.

What’s that for?

Neddy it helps me focus. I’m like Daredevil now. WAIT! What was that?

Everyone pauses as Drew pulls the rifle from its holster aiming it around wildly. Both Robert and Drew take as many steps backwards as they can. Then it happens Drew gently squeezing on the trigger, playing with the point at which a bullet may or may not be released. The gunshot took all three men by surprise. As the bullet flies out of the chamber and into the air with great elegance, the bullet aims for the target. As it pushes through the air with great speed, it gains less distance than it was before. Until that moment when it strikes the coffee mug in Robert’s hand and all prevails. In a split-second, Robert drops what’s left of the shattered coffee mug screaming while Ned hits the dirt looking for safety.

Drew what in the hell are you doing? Drop the weapon now. You almost shot me. Jesus Christ man.

For a moment there is a power struggle over the rifle when Drew finally gives in releasing the weapon to Robert.

I thought I saw a deer.

Drew points at a tree stump

That’s a tree stump you ass hole. You could have killed someone.

Could have but didn’t. Speaking of that. It reminds me of high school. I dated this bigger chick. We used to call her PT cruiser because she was hot for like three years. Anyway, this chick had huge forearms like she had a shake weight or something. So, she wants me to go down on her right. After seeing those forearms, I though heck maybe at the very least I’ll get a great tuggy out of this. Take a penny leave a penny sort of deal.

Ned’s now up of the ground dusting himself off as Robert cuts Drew off

What’s damn near blowing my brains out have to do with high school and Mary Jane rotten crotch?

Drew slides off the horse revealing his pasty white ass cheeks because he’s wearing ass-less chaps.

Drew? Wow.

Your being dramatic Bob.

Says a blind man with a loaded rifle.

Robert begins to walk away as Drew tries following tripping over the stump he thought was a deer laying brow-eye up.

What a shit show. You know it's ironic how you conceive you have a shot in the dark at taking what is my God-given right. Page, I earned the Championship I defend. I didn’t just walk into a company whining and crying until I got my way. I’ve never stomped my feet and threw tantrums. You cannot and will not stop my reign as Universal Champion.! To overthrow, overwhelm, overpower me would put a substantial hell even respectable feather in your cap, catch-22 for you though Chris, I seldomly misplace any of my feathers. Nothing and I mean nothing that you have ever done in this lifetime will have equipped you with enough tools to conquer me in the ring. Your nothing more than a mental midget. We knew when going into Wargames you would break down collapsing underneath the pressure at Wargames. Raven was correct. 100%. Leap Of Faith that track record will continue. The world isn’t listening to your fake news. I am superior in every way. One on one you can’t pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. We all know you're on the comeback trail and all old man, but that come-back is going to have to wait just a while longer. Indefinitely as long as I am around. I’ve got more talent in my right nut then you do your whole brokeback mountain body. I am one passionate bloodthirsty mother fucker willing to do a lot of frightening things when my brothers, my family is attacked.

Like I said before Page this is not about the Universal Championship It's about something greater. It's not enough ruling a ring with you in it. It's about dominating you with an iron fist. Leap Of Faith I become the raging bull in a China shop, my horns razor sharp as I charge ahead full speed! No remorse, no looking back. Now for the first time in your career, you are going to feel what it is like to be in a real rodeo as I beat you within inches of your life. No rules. Pounding your guts in with a chair is as legal as an arm lock. I'm going to walk right out into the center of the ring stick out my chest and dare you to do something. You want to put me to the test? Go ahead squirt.

The scene begins to cut to static when Robert’s voice is heard one more time.

I hope you hear exactly what I say, so clean some of MDK and Tristan’s semen out of those old ears. I’m coming “Chronic” Chris Page, you want to act like you don’t even know my name so here I’ll say it so you don’t forget!

These a brief pause

IT’S ROBERT MAIN BITCH!!!

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