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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy Results
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ANARCHY - 4/18/19
Author Message
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Offline
The Guy
*********
Administrators



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
04-18-2019, 12:24 PM







LIVE!!!




FROM THE MOHEGAN SUN ARENA IN UNCASVILLE, CONNECTICUT!




John Rogan
- vs -
Kuda







"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
Maxine
Internet Division Match!






EDWARD
- vs -
John Black







Noah Jackson
- vs -
Ruby






Bobbi London
- vs -
Kid Kool
Internet Division Match!







Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
R. L. Edgar




The camera zooms past shots of wild, rabid fans as ANARCHY hits the airwaves for the first time.

Finally settling on the one and only "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane as he sits at a ringside announce table all on his own, with a wide grin on his face.

Vinnie Lane: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all to the first of many episodes of the newwest attraction in the XWF, Thursday Night ANARCHY!!!! We have a full schedule set to go tonight and not a lot of time on the air, so let's go straight to our opener for the evening as John... wait, what? What's going on down there???
The lights in the Mohegan Sun Arena go dark and the crowd mills in silence, wondering what is about to befall them in this very first edition of Anarchy. Then a small spotlight appears on the stage where two men in marching band uniforms walk out, each carrying a herald trumpet. The men lift the horns to their mouths and play a bright fanfare, notes loud and high, filled with pride.




After the fanfare, the two men step aside as “God Save the Queen” plays across the P.A. The crowd remains confused as the curtain on the stage is opened wide and four large men come out, each holding up a large palanquin. But the confusion makes way for cheers as the mystery is solved, for the person on the palanquin, sitting upon a bed of pillows, is Sarah Lacklan.


[Image: 2thCeA4.gif]


And the crowd LOSES THEIR SHIT

Crowd: YOU ARE OUR GOD *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*

YOU ARE OUR GOD *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*


Sarah smiles and waves as the four men bring her down to ringside. Dressed in a red robe and cape, the XWF King of the Ring crown upon her head and long black and red scepter in her free hand, the albino is a glittering diamond slowly being carried down the aisle. As they get to the ring, she rises to her feet, her robe falling to the floor of her pedestal, and climbs into the ring as one of the men hands her a microphone and she addresses the audience.

Sarah: Hello, everybody! My name is Sarah Lacklan-

She pauses to show off her Billion $$$ smile and the crowd plays their part:

Crowd: MAR-KET-ING GEEEEENIUUUUUUUS!

Sarah: And I am YOUR-

She points to the crown on her head.

Sarah: QUEEN of the Ring! And! AND! YOUR-

She opens her robe and her waist glitters with gold.

Sarah: Federweight Champion! But even MORE important than that, I am YOUR Queen of Anarchy! After I went onto Savage Saturday in Texas to declare that I would be using my prize to become YOUR first champion, I have had to fend off an ENDLESS ONSLAUGHT of douchenozzles and their dipshittery! Hell, I made John Blaq pussy out of a match so many times…

Sarah pauses with an expectant look on her face but then her face scrunches up in irritation.

Sarah: I said...I made John Blaq pussy out of a match SO MANY TIMES!!!!!!

Crowd: HOW MANY TIMES WAS IT?!

Sarah: SO many times that he changed his name to get away from me! Because THAT is what I do. THAT is who I am. I turn bullshitters into beggers. I make keyboard warriors cry in their safe spaces. I make main eventers leap for the curtain-jerk in order to avoid me. And I get people all KINDS of triggered just by existing. But do you know what I REALLY want to do tonight?

She pauses for a second and smirks.

Sarah: Get the flying fuck OUT of this hillbilly hellhole and away from you inbred mountaineers!

The crowd boos but Sarah turns right back on them.

Sarah: Oh, don’t EVEN! I’m from MAINE, bitches! And I have spent my entire LIFE having to smell the putrid grossness that is this backwards, backwater shitpile of Connecticut! My God! Just walking down the street earlier today I saw six...SIX...members of the Duke family chewing on straw and getting handsy with their first cousins! And I am SO ready to get out of here, I am SO ready to jump in my Uber with my Beloved wife and BAIL OUT of this country bumpkin land, that I will do ANYTHING! Hell, I’ve even given up my SPOT as the MAIN EVENT of the evening in order to go bang my wife in the backseat of the care...AWAY from this FILTH and back to where the CLEAN air and water is in the BEAUTIFUL state of Maine!

The crowd boos mightily as Sarah continues to dump on them, but the R.L. Edgar walks out from the back! Some of the boos turn to cheers, but not many, because...well...lets face it, we all know better. Still, the dough boy makes his slow way into the ring in order to stand in the Queen of Anarchy’s face.

DING! DING! DING!

Sarah stares up at Edgar, who stares down at her. But then suddenly Sarah’s face is overcome with shock: Her eyes bug out and her mouth drops open. She points over Edgar’s shoulder.

Sarah: OMG! Is that Salsa, the Wrestling Bear?!

Edgar turns around in hopes of seeing the elusive Salsa, and doesn’t realize that Sarah as bounded the other way and hit the ropes. Unable to find the bear, Edgar stupidly turns around and is caught flush in the face with a leaping punch from Sarah. Edgar’s eyes glaze over and his knees buckle, victim of the Cop Killa. Sarah picks up the crown which had fallen off her head and unbuckles the Federweight Championship. Holding both high into the air, she places one foot on Edgar’s chest.

1!





2!







3!!!!



Winner by Pinfall - Sarah Lacklan

Vinnie Lane: “Folks I don’t want to hold up the action any longer than need be, we’ve already had our first SHOCK on this episode of Anarchy with the main event happening right at the start! That was a wicked swerve! Sarah Lacklan straight up flipped the script on this program… and now we’ve got another match on the way!”





The lights dim, the excitement settles in the arena, Enter Sandman by Metallica blares, as the lights begin to pulsate. Onto the stage appears a silhouette of John Rogan, his arms out to the sides. As the drumming begins, the e-wrestling veteran walks towards the ring, the fans cheering, the lights pulsating. Once he reaches the ring, he slides in under the bottom rope, he throws his arms in the air walking around the ring.

Rogan poses in the ring as his music fades and is replaced by…




The former Federweight Champion Kuda lurches to the ring, seemingly confused by all the cell phones and flashing lights in his face. He gets to the ring eventually but definitely seems out of sorts as his music fades out.

Vinnie Lane: “I’m looking forward to this one, guys! Two HUGE men who love to brawl. John Rogan is 40 years old, but Kuda is prehistoric… one of the only men on the roster older than Rogan!”

The bell rings and the two big men quickly lock up and try to jockey for position. Kuda muscles Rogan into a corner and then drops a clubbing downward chop across his chest, which gets a loud sympathy groan from the audience members in attendance. Kuda keeps the pressure on until referee John Bihl forces a break, not being in the mood for any more bullshit on this evening. While Kuda is distracted by the official, Rogan explodes from the corner with a lariat that sends the colossal caveman to his back with thunderous impact.

Pulling Kuda up, Rogan ties him up in a cobra clutch and then lifts him off the ground in a devastating slam, quickly moving to pin the stunned neanderthal. Rogan puts his weight high on Kuda’s body and fails to hook a leg, allowing Kuda to muscle out from the pin at the count of two. Both men regain a vertical base and exchange some solid shots, both looking gassed. They go back and forth for a little while with varying levels of success, but the turning point comes when Rogan scoops Kuda up and attempts his Snake Eyes maneuver in the corner. Kuda slides off his back and shoves Rogan into the buckles, then clambers onto the second rope and waits for Rogan to get to his feet. When he does, Kuda heaves himself from the rope with a Mammoth Killer spear! Rogan is in pain, and Kuda wastes no time locking in Epoch Ending stretch muffler! Rogan is stuck, but he manages to squirm and fight through the pain long enough to throw an arm over the bottom rope, which gets referee John Bihl in Kuda’s face again.

Kuda is completely confused by the concept of a rope break. As the official shoves on his beefy shoulder to get him to break, a look of utter bewilderment comes over his face… and then he stands and grabs Bihl by the collar! Bihl is terrified, and the fans gasp as they wonder what might happen to the official.

END RESULT!!!

John Rogan sends his claymore kick into the side of Kuda’s mammoth skull, sending the paleolithic pimp daddy to the mat. Rogan leaps on top, not forgetting to hook the leg this time!

1!



2!






3!!!!



Winner by Pinfall - John Rogan



Vinnie Lane: “What a rad start to Anarchy! John Rogan is a good dude and it’s good to see him walk away with a hard fought W on the debut of our new program. Kuda almost had him there but he’s out of his element, he’s got a bright future if he can put two and two together… though now that I think about it I don’t know if he knows math? Huh. Weird. Maybe I’ll book him against Gilmour. Up next we’ve got something of a barn-burner, as a young rookie to XWF, Ned Kaye, has somehow duped his way into a Universal Championship match coming up in a few weeks… but before then, he’s going to test his mettle against someone I know really well! My fiance’s personal bodyguard, the towering “Mad” Maxine!”



“Say My Name” by Judd Hoos pumps through the arena as the stoic and silent Maxine walks slowly down the ramp. Her muscles ripple in her arms as she clenches and unclenches her fists while heading to the ring, and finally entering the squared circle.






The crowd pops for the newcomer, “Notorious” Ned Kaye, as he emerges from the backstage area and poses at the top of the ramp. He heads to the ring at a near sprint while the fans cheer him on, and slides into the ring to find himself nearly face to face with the hulking woman known only as Maxine.

Vinnie Lane: “Max is a new signee to my awesome LFL team, the Tenochtitlan Quetzalcoatl, along with her buddy and tag partner Bobbi London who we’ll get to see in action later tonight… Ned Kaye is actually the smaller of the two here, two inches shorter than the six-foot-two Maxine. Not sure why he thinks he could be the Universal Champion if he can’t even look my girl’s security guard in the eye, but hey! What do I know right?”

The bell sounds and Kaye keeps his distance from the large hunk of woman stalking him around the ring. He ducks under a couple wild haymakers, then somersaults to avoid a clothesline. When Max turns back to him and throws a swinging lariat in his direction, he ducks under again and leaps up, catching Maxine’s arm and swinging his legs around her back to snare the other, pulling her back into a crucifix. Maxine steadies herself, though, and regains her balance long enough to crash backwards down onto Ned in a massive Samoan drop. Ned’s eyes roll back and Max sticks a forearm across his jaw for a pinning combination. Luckily Ned kicks out just at the two count, showing he’s still got plenty left in the tank.

Max drags Ned up to his feet and hoists him onto her shoulder, looking for a running powerslam. Ned swing his body around as Maxine turns downward, rotating with his momentum to land next to Maxine who ends up face down. Ned slaps on a crossface, wrenching backward on Max’s neck, but she’s too close to the ropes and Kaye has no choice but to release the hold. As soon as Max gets to her feet Ned starts peppering her thick thigh with kicks, slowing the already-lumbering woman into a doddering limp. When Max staggers near the ropes Ned sees his opportunity and exits onto the ring apron, then slingshots himself over the top rope to snag Max with his legs, twisting her over in a high-velocity headscissor, otherwise known as the Disciplinary Action. Ned doesn’t want to jump the gun and go for a pin just yet, and so he waits for her to once again stand on her own. He races across the ring and gets caught when Max dips her shoulder down and flips Ned up and over the ropes in a high body drop that sees him catch his upper back on the apron on the way down.

Vinnie Lane: “Now, most of the time someone will tell you that’s the hardest part of the ring. Not here in the XWF, buddy! We make the WHOLE ring out of apron!”

Maxine stalks her prey out of the ring, and Ned is game as he fights through the pain and finds his feet. Maxine peppers him with a few hard shots, but Ned ducks away in time to make her miss with a big forearm that cracks right into the ring post. When Maxine stumbles back, Ned is right there to meet her with another headscissor from the ring apron, sending her crashing into the ring steps with a clamor. Maxine isn’t one to stay down for long, though, and she’s up before Ned can take advantage. She gets her hands on Kaye and tries to whip him into the guardrail but gets reversed, sending the big woman crashing into the railing herself. When she steps away from the rail, Ned is flying at her with his old standby, the crossbody! Caught! Maxine carries Ned across her chest and walks up another set of ring steps, and then flings Ned back over her head with a fallaway slam… right at Vinnie Lane’s desk!

Vinnie Lane: “WHOA! Watch it you two! Good thing this is fine craftsmanship! Didn’t even budge when Ned’s body got tossed onto it like a bag of trash. How you doing, buddy?”

Ned: “Hnnnggg…”

Vinnie Lane: “Yeah. Looked like it hurt. OH CRAP!”

Vinnie is forced to abandon ship as the large frame of Maxine crashes through the announce table after leaping off the apron with a splash! The table splinters under her impact, but Ned escaped nanoseconds before the impact! Ned sees his chance and starts attempting to drag the unconscious Maxine back toward the ring, but she’s just too much dead weight. Seeing the official get to a nine count, Ned rolls into the ring just in the nick of time to win by count out!


Winner by Count Out - “Notorious” Ned Kaye



Anarchy fades to commercial.
Vinnie Lane: “Wow everyone welcome back to Anarchy we are having a crazy time here… I had to commandeer the Australian Language Announce Table and move those guys over to the British Language Table, it’s been truly nuts! And it’s only gonna get wilder as we have our SECOND protohuman performing here tonight… the loquacious and eloquent EDWARD!


Edward’s awful music plays for about two seconds before the sound crew cuts it off because of how terrible it is.

EDWARD then is prodded out from the back by a handful of trainers with pointy sticks who manage to get him to go to the ring and sit in his corner.




The lights goes down, and smoke starts to rise out of the entrance way. Then the drum kicks in, and the lights come back on and we see JB walking down the entrance, as he heads to the ramp he talks smack to the camera. He then rolls into the ring, and goes to the middle buckle puts his fist in the air. Then he gets towards the middle of the ring and waits.

Vinnie Lane: “John Black looks awesome! He totally dropped a couple extra pounds here and he looks ready to- OH JESUS!”

In the ring, EDWARD has already flattened John Black with a punch to the brain stem. ED stays on top of his prone opponent, sending blow after blow into the back of JB’s skull with open handed swats and hammer fists. John Black turtles up quick and referee Richie Wang pulls EDWARD away as the bell has yet to sound. EDWARD looks angry and, oddly, hungry, but moves to his corner as the ref checks JB, who of course says he’s good to go because he’s OG like that.

The bell rings and EDWARD once again rushes att JB but Black sidesteps and grabs the charging juggernaut, grabbing him in a waistlock and executing a pinpoint german suplex to precision. EDWARD isn’t even slowed as he is right back to his feet. The same happens again when JB gets him up and over with a hip toss, and again after a sitout pumphandle powerbomb. EDWARD simply smashes his hand into the mat and stands up after each maneuver, seemingly unfazed.

JB is running out of gas after throwing some heavy artillery at EDWARD, but his determination is high (also he himself may be high). Changing tactics, JB starts going for the legs of EDWARD and drops him repeatedly with toe holds and chop blocks. These seem to start having an effect, making EDWARD limp and stumble, though EDWARD himself seems to not understand fully that he’s hurt. JB moves away from another clumsy charge and shoots in with a single leg takedown which gets EDWARD on his back. JB locks in a lion tamer-style crab, the Real Raw! He’s got all the torque he can muster on the targeted knee of his opponent, but EDWARD simply lies on his chest screaming in pain. Does he know what tapping is? Has anyone taught EDWARD to tap out? It does not seem like it.

Eventually JB simply releases the hold due to an inability to keep it locked in any longer. His arms must be completely dead. EDWARD gets back to a standing position and starts pummeling his own knee in an effort to get the pins and needles out, and JB goes for the home run by scooping EDWARD onto his shoulders and prepping him for the big finish with Blacklisted!

Vinnie Lane: “Oh crap! EDWARD is biting JB right on the forehead!”

John Black flails as EDWARD’s teeth rip into the skin of his head, sending a river of blood down his face. EDWARD then starts clawing away at JB’s hair and face, tossing a handful of finger twists from JB’s scalp into the crowd. JB’s knees buckle and he falls backward on top of EDWARD, who just pummels JB with huge clubbing shots to the throat and clavicle. JB is choking on his own blood and might me moments away from a collapsed esophagus when he finally decides to tap out!


Winner by Submission - EDWARD



Vinnie Lane: “That one was BRUTAL! I know my dude JB is gonna dust himself off and be just fine, bit it’s awful to see a member of my generation get manhandled like that unless it’s in the middle of a strip club stage during a bachelor party. Someone needs to get that unevolved menace EDWARD on a leash!”

At ringside, one of EDWARD’s handlers puts him on a leash.

Vinnie Lane: “Oh. Rad. Guess that’s that that then. Right now we’ve got some pre-recorded footage from earlier today from a pair of awesome newcomers to the XWF! Let’s have a look!”

*Pre-recorded segment from Ruby’s Go-Pro*

“Seriously, did you not know to protect the planet? What, did you think that throwing your damn Snickers wrapper on the grass would protect the earth?” the Northern English accent of ‘The Amazing Ashley’ was heard as a young, tall and muscled woman in a blue and white mask with a blue and white bodysuit was busy acting like the teenage boy who threw his Snickers wrapper onto the ground was a serial killer as she read him the riot act.

“Look, it’s just a….” the kid tried to rebuke, but he was immediately cut off by Ashley’s companion, the five foot Super Dear’o, dressed in her banana-lime colored outfit.

“TUT TUT TUT!” she shushed him, turning his cap backwards. She crossed her arm and shook her head, hazel eyes peering at him through her green mask. “Just? ‘Just’, eh? Bud, let me paint you a picture here. You know how many wrappers like those end up in the ocean? A small gust of wind, and poof! It ends up in the river. That river leads to the sea. A turtle eats it and chokes to death, just because you are too flippin’ lazy to walks five paces towards the public bin! Do you want the turtles to die, buddy? Think of the flippin’ turtles!”

“Whatever, you idi…” the kid started, but Ashley grabbed his arm and twisted it, pushing him face first against the wall in one smooth motion.

“Don’t break his arm, Ash. At least, not yet. Everybody deserves a chance to repent.”

“REPENT? FOR A FUCKING SNICKERS WRAPPER!?” the kid screamed in fear, but Ruby slapped the back of his head as Ashley kept him in an iron grip.

“And you will watch that flippin’ mouth on you, my guy! That’s strike two!”

“Watch your language, you flipping butthole!” Ashley responded as she roughly grabbed the kid by the collar and shoved him up against the wall, being careful to censor herself with her tag team partner next to her.

“Now, Ruby” Ashley turned to her smaller associate “What should we do with this piece of garbage? Actually, you know what, I think we should do our civic duty and get him in his new home, as he is trash, after all.”

Ashley then scooped up the kid on her shoulders in a fireman’s carry and casually walked over to the nearest bin, where the kid should’ve put the wrapper in in the first place.

“Excellent idea, bud. The symbolic meaning of this punishment will not be lost on him! ...I hope.”

“YOU’RE INSANE!” the kid screamed, kicking and squirming as he tried to worm his way out of Ashley’s fireman’s carry, but she wasn’t fazed in the slightest. Ruby opened the dumpster’s lid (had to stand on her tippy toes, because small) and Ashley threw him inside with a death valley driver. He landed with a splat in what looked like some rotten tomato sauce and yesterday’s newspaper and Ruby slammed the lid shut.

“Boom! That’ll teach you, my guy! Keep the planet clean!”

Ruby leapt up and high-fived Ash, her masked partner-in-justice. Ashley crossed her arms as she proudly looked at their handiwork.

“Next stop… bringing order to Anarchy!”
Vinnie Lane: “WHOA! Those two are definitely gonna keep law and order alive and well her eon Anarchy! We might have to change the name of the show! But for right now, let’s get back to the action as we’ve got another match starting RIGHT NOW!”




"Dance Hall Days" by Wang Chung hits and the fans pop big time as hot pink and lime green laser lights shine all over the stage! " #koolioz " appears on the X-Tron in lime green over a hot pink background, as Kid Kool bounds from the backstage area and through the curtains, sending his fans [the so-called 'Kool Kidz'] into a frenzy. KK wears a shiny, silver pair of short spandex, silver wrestling boots with hot pink laces... his long, blonde hair is slicked back, he wears a pair of hot pink-framed sunglasses, and to top off his look, he wears a hot pink t-shirt with the hashtag "#bKool..." on the front in lime green, and on the back; "...or #bJealous".

Kool rushes down the rampway, tagging hands along the way. He slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, before hopping to his feet. He removes the hot pink-framed shades from his eyes, clipping them to the collar of his shirt... KK bounces off the far set of ropes, then the other, before hopping up to the top turnbuckle, procuring his cell phone and tapping the red button to take a quick vid of the jubilant XWF Galaxy for his YouTube video blog, " #TheKoolKidz " with Kid Kool!! He then pockets his phone, before rolling out, and walking up to a young fan holding up a "#1 Kool Kid!" sign... Kid Kool places the sunglasses over the kid's eyes, as they beam with joy! Kid Kool smiles, before rolling back into the ring, preparing for the match ahead.


Vinnie Lane: “Love him or hate him, and most people definitely choose the latter, dude, but Kid Kool definitely gets a reaction from the XWF fans! He’s going to be a real test for one of the XWF’s newest signees, the always verbose and charismatic Wonder from Down Under, Big Beaut Bobbi London!”




“The Sickest C*nt” by Enkay1er begins to play as the lights turn up all through the arena. Bobbi emerges through the crowd, microphone in hand as she sings along with the words to her rather obnoxious and crude theme song. She prompts the fans to sing along with her, to the delight of the young fans and shock and embarrassment of the older people and parents, who attempt to cover their children’s ears. Bobbi slowly rolls over the barricade as she finally climbs into the ring, continuing to rap and dance terribly as the fans go wild.


Vinnie Lane: “Whoa what’s this… Bobbi is asking for a live mic?”


In the ring, Bobbi London gets a microphone handed to her from a ring tech and starts slapping the head of it to make sure it’s working, causing hollow thuds to echo through the arena.


Bobbi: “This thing on, mate?

Yeah, what’s up Kid Kool, you ready for school? Principal London’s here to make you look like a fool!”


Vinnie Lane: “Oh dang! Bobbi’s got bars!”


Bobbi: “At the the end of the day they’re gonna call you Kid Ghoul cuz Bobbi’s a hot tub hottie and you’re just piss in the pool! Wipe your chin free of drool, mate, pull up a stool, sit with the fans and chant BOBBI LONDON RULES!


Bobbi then tosses the mic right into Kid’s chest as the crowd OOOOHs at the savage battle rap skills from London. The bell sounds and Bobbi is ALL OVER Kid, not giving him a chance to even get set. She pounds him with clubbering forearms and knee lifts to his midsection that raise him up in the air at least six inches with each impact. Finally, Bobbi finishes off with a huge hair mare that tosses Kool across the mat and sends him skidding to a stop in the corner. Bobbi holds her hands up to the crowd and they cheer while she shows off the strands of hair that were yanked out of Kid’s head by the move before she wipes her palms together to get rid of them.

Bobbi showboats a few more seconds and then reaches down to scoop Kid up, but gets tangled in a small package pinning combination! Bobbi frees herself at the last second, but Kool is already sprinting to the corner and leaping off with a corkscrew that staggers the sexy sheila. Kid nails her with a high angle dropkick to follow up, and that sends London falling backward into the ropes. When she steps back to the center of the ring, Kool is there with an attempt at a body slam… but he wrenches his back and can’t get the big gal up. Bobbi chuckles and grabs Kid by the face, then buries him in her cleavage and motorboats him violently!


Vinnie Lane: “Kid Kool did NOT consent to that!”


Stumbling back, Kool is grabbed by the scruff of the neck and sent flying into the corner turnbuckles with authority. Bobbi doesn’t hesitate to take a running start and leap onto Kool’s chest in a massive Stinger Splash! Kool collapses in the corner, but London’s not done. She pulls Kool up and into the middle of the ring, then sends him to the ropes with a whip. Kid Kool ducks under the big boot! He ducks a clothesline as well and then flies at London with a huge cross body… and gets caught. London shakes her head, mocking KK, then tosses him in the air and catches him on her shoulders before dropping back in a booming samoan drop - the Bye Bye Barbie! She stays on him and hooks a leg!


1!!






2!!!


















3!!!!


Winner by Pinfall - Bobbi London




Vinnie Lane: “Wow that was an awesome start to Bobbi’s XWF career! What a dominating performance in the ring tonight against a veteran like Kid Kool… he looks like he might be the worse for wear too, dude, I don’t know if we’ll be seeing him anytime soon… let’s take one more quick break while the medics tend to Kid and we’ll be right back for our main event!”
Vinnie Lane: “I think I need to get me one of those… anyway! The ring is cleared out and folks we are ready for our main event! Two of the XWF’s newest and brightest are facing off here to put an exclamation point on the inaugural Anarchy. I’m a big fan of both of them, but man they really could not be much more different!”





Noah Jackson runs onto the ramp with a burst of energy, taunting to the crowds. He walks towards the ring going to high five fans before faking out and giving them a dab like a dick. He rolls into the ring and rests in his corner.


Vinnie Lane: “See what I mean? Noah here is a real punk, unlike his fake punk-pop intro theme. Big fan of his talent, not such a big fan of his attitude… but that’s just how these kids today are I guess! That’s why they call him the vegemite of wrestling, because he’s hard to swallow and leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Or maybe he’s made of yeast. I don’t really remember.”




Ruby emerges from the back and quickly runs up to a small child in the front row, giving them a big hug. She slaps palms and signs posters and merch as she makes her way down the ramp, the fans cheering her on the whole way.


Vinnie Lane: “Now THIS young lady has the right idea! Look at her giving high fives and signing autographs for all the kids here in the crowd! She’s a real role model for the young fans of the XWF. Her music sucks too, though.”


Ruby enters the ring and she and Noah are announced. The bell rings and Ruby right way plants herself in the middle of the ring and extends her hand for a good shake in a show of sportsmanship. Noah spots on his hand before slapping Ruby’s away, and the Super Dear’O is left looking at the sticky strands of ooze between her fingers as Jackson laughs.

Ruby wipes her hand on her costume and Noah takes advantage right away, locking up on the smaller girl. He pushes her back into the ropes with a snort, but Ruby thinks quick, diving backward through the ropes and landing on her feet at the outside, causing Noah to bounce his head and neck off the top rope. Ruby immediately follows up by leapfrogging back onto the apron and then somersaulting over the top rope, catching Jackson between her ankles in a headscissor that swings him out to the floor. Ruby hits the ropes in a flash and dives straight over the top, colliding with Noah with her trademark Tope Con Hero! She looks to finish early, rolling Jackson back into the ring and clambering up to the top in the near corner, then holding her balance just for a moment in preparation for the double stomp… but Noah rolls away to the far side of the ring and gives Ruby no choice but to hop down and follow him across.

Noah props himself into a seated position on the mat in the corner as Ruby approaches, and when she leans in for him he thrusts his head upward, catching her right in the face with the crown of his skull. She snaps backward grabbing her nose and Noah gets hold of her utility belt and then drags her into the corner, tripper her with a seated toe hold that sends her face first into the middle buckle. He gives her a back rake for good measure as he stands up, then clutches Ruby in a full nelson to bring her to her feet, pulling her up and over for a snapdragon suplex and bridging for a pin, but Ruby kicks out at two. Noah keeps the pressure on with a series of arm drags, gripping a chinlock after each one to wear the young flipper down. Ruby gathers her strength to fight her way to her feet, and when she nearly has the tides turned on Noah, he suddenly breaks away grabbing at his eye, complaining to referee Chaz Bobo.


Vinnie Lane: “What the heck? She didn’t even touch him, what’s going on?”


Noah whines about getting an eye poke and the ref gets in Ruby’s face. Ruby desperately pleads her case, waving her arms and shaking her head, shouting that she’d NEVER do any such thing, but while the ref isn’t looking Noah’s hit the ropes and come flying at Ruby’s back with a one-legged dropkick! The Crack the Shits! Ruby slams into the official who drops in a heap, and Noah takes advantage right away by yanking on Ruby’s hair and sinking in a deep choke. Noah is just battering Ruby with crossface forearms while using every tactic in the ne’er-do-well handbook to keep hold of his quick opponent. The referee slowly gets back to his senses, but Noah sees him coming to and sneakily adjusts his illegal choke into a Kimura, what he calls the Deadset!

Ruby is in bad shape but she’s got no quit in her. She struggles against the pain and eventually wiggles her way close enough to the ropes to get her ankles locked around the bottom strand. Noah holds onto the kimura for almost an entire five count before breaking and gets a healthy admonishment from the ref, but he doesn’t seem too concerned. He stomps away at Ruby and then drags her by the arm to the middle of the ring before scaling the ropes and turning around… he leaps from the top in a moonsault.

Ruby Cutter! Ruby got up just in time to catch Noah, and she has him laid out on the canvas!


1!








2!











Noah kicks out!!!


Noah got his shoulder up with only a fraction of a second to spare, but Ruby doesn’t look put off. In fact, she seems to almost admire the fight in Jackson. She heads to the top for the Ruby in the Rough once more, but she gets caught climbing as Noah dives and hits her ankles, causing her to fall and roll backwards into a tree of woe. Jackson sees a chance and heads across the ring, crashing into Ruby with a big baseball slide to the mush! Ruby collapses from the corner and Noah drags her to her feet, draping her front first across the buckles and heading across the ring with his fist raised. He’s looking for the King Hit, the running superman punch to the medulla oblongata!

Noah rushes to the corner and leaps, but Ruby sensed him coming and sprung up onto the top of the corner, jumping back in a huge flip and landing on her feet behind the puzzled Noah. She gathers him in a rear waist lock and shoves him chest first into the corner, knocking his wind out and then somersaulting backward with him an O’Connor roll! She gets his shoulders down!



1!







2!










3!!!


Noah kicks out just after three, but it’s all over, Ruby pulled victory out of the hands of defeat!



Winner by Pinfall - Ruby




Vinnie Lane: “What a match! What hart that girl showed, and Noah almost had it too! Sometimes all it takes is three lucky seconds to… wait a minute! Noah NO!!!”


In the ring, as Chaz Bobo holds Ruby’s hand aloft for the fans and rotates her in a circle in the middle of the ring, Noah Jackson has acquired a folding chair from ringside and slid in behind her. He winds up and slams the steel into the back of her head and neck, dropping the banana-lime girl in a pile and then slamming the chair into her over and over. The referee is shoved aside and Noah continues his assault, taking his frustrations out on the OG of PG.


Vinnie Lane: “Someone help the poor girl! This isn’t right! Where’s security at, don’t I pay people to keep this kind of thing from happening? Folks I’m getting told in my earpiece I do not. Fair enough, I’ll have to look into that… WAITAMINNIT WHO’S THIS!?!?!”


Running down the ramp is Ashley Ackles, the masked newcomer we saw earlier with Ruby. She sprints and slides into the ring, shoving Noah away and crouching down to protect her friend. Noah exits the ring and looks to make a hasty exist, but now the ramp is blocked by the big frames of Maxine and Bobbi London, two other fan favorites who’ve come to ringside to make the dastardly Noah Jackson atone for his sins.

Jackson rolls back into the ring just as Bobbi and Max get to the ringside area, and he sees Ashley distracted by checking on her friend. As Max climbs over the ropes Noah drives the steel chair into the back of Ashley… and then tosses it to Maxine! Max catches the chair and tries to catch Jackson, but he’s too quick to dive out the middle of the ropes and hop over the guard rail, escaping through the crowd.

Ashley, gripping her head, stands after a moment and turns to find Maxine and bobbi standing there, Max with a dented chair in her hands. Ackles is FUMING and she shoves the giantess with all her might. Ruby gets the cobwebs out then too, and sees her buddy in a struggle with the two women, then leaps in to defend her.

Vinnie Lane: “Ruby no! You’ve got it all wrong! Those ladies came to help you!”

Maxine just stands there stoically while Ashley keeps shoving her, but Bobbi is a bit of a hot head and can only take so much of Ruby yapping at her before she shoves her away with a palm to her forehead. Ashley jumps onto Bobbi then, clobbering her with rights and lefts until Max lifts her from behind with a big slam! All hell has broken loose between the four women as officials flood the ring to break them apart!


Vinnie Lane: “This is mayhem! This is a riot! This… is ANARCHY!!!!”


Vinnie winks into the camera and a glint of light blinks off of his eye with a ding that’s certainly been edited in by the sound guys in post production.


Vinnie Lane: “That’s all the time we’ve got here today ladies and gentlemen! Don’t miss us in two weeks time when we roll into Tampa, Florida!”


The melee in the ring continues as the show fades out to black.

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#2
04-18-2019, 03:15 PM

”What the FUCK is a rope break? Doesn’t add up...”

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#3
04-18-2019, 05:31 PM

Kid Kool is once again backstage, once again being checked upon by an EMT. "THAT FAT BITCH CHEATED!!! >:^( ....I had that match WON, then she had to use her belly that weighs a TON, and her big fat ass, lucky that cunt didn't have gas!!! And all of these bastards cheer her on because of her 'sick flow'? The only sick flow coming from that tub of lard is the food dribbling down her fat fuckin' face as she eats her weight in burgers and pizza and pretty much every goddamn thing in sight!!! Bobbi... I hope you're fuckin' happy. I REALLY do, because now, I've been told I'll be out of the XWF ring for at LEAST two to three months, and it's all because you can't handle someone else taking your spotlight, the spotlight that RIGHTFULLY belongs to ME!!! >:^O ....You fat Aussie wench, I HOPE you choke on a pretzel and end up in a fat-induced coma!!! I tried to be nice in my career, I TRIED to be understanding, and say 'congrats' to those I lost to.... I kept saying Sarah Lacklan deserved that crown... but FUCK YOU SARAH, I DESERVE THE FUCKIN' CROWN YOU ROYAL PUSSY-LICKER!!!! I'm DONE trying to play the hero, the good guy.

"I'm DONE sucking up to dicks and bitches that aren't worthy of my FUCKING time, I'm TIRED of plastering a silly frickin' smile across my face and playing to the kids, and always doing things 'by the book'. You can ALL suck my anus and kill yourselves with a rope around your FUCKING THROATS. The old me would say 'Ruby, congratulations on winning your first match here in the XWF, looking forward to seeing your next match'...but the reality is? While this chick is off 'fighting crime' (psshhh.. yeah), and racking up wins over has-beens and never-will-be's, I'm gonna be out of action for nearly three months thanks to some chunky chick who goes too hard and ends up breaking bones thanks to her fat gut filled with lard (I can do this rap shit too, Bobbi Blunder) ....I could say she earned the win, I could take another loss in stride, but instead? FUCK YOU BOBBI, and Ruby? I hope you die. The Kid Kool that's worked his way through the biz for over a decade is DEAD. XWF...when I return? I will kill you. Promise. Goodnight....and good luck." The EMT looks bewildered, as KK is breathing heavily, showing a side of himself never seen before on XWF airwaves. He shoves the EMT aside and stands, walking on wobbly legs after his match with London... He shoves the camera away, as the scene fades to black....


#5WEEKS

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#4
04-19-2019, 10:25 PM

(04-18-2019, 05:31 PM)Kid Kool Said: dumbshit jibberish

We are going to miss you
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#5
04-19-2019, 11:58 PM

@kool_beanz "No One Ever"?? 4Realioz?? Dude, brah, broski?? You realize how many people, fans, wrestlers, management, the internet, the magazines, tv, radio, the goddamn president of this country himself... do you realize how EVERYONE has been talking about The Kid? Rather it be negative or positive, 'Darren Gardella' is now a household name, and if you truly were 'Some One', I'd love to choke you out, or ANYONE willing to step up and get knocked RIGHT the fuck back down by Double K... In fact? I'm about to issue an open challenge for my return match at War Games..... watch your fuckin' backs, bitchezz, the KID is KOMIN' 4 u!!! >:^(

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#6
04-20-2019, 12:23 AM

(04-19-2019, 11:58 PM)Kid Kool Said: @kool_beanz I'm about to issue an open challenge for my return match at War Games.....

The line to accept will be massive




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