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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » March Madness Roleplays
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Shoot Yourself
Author Message
Game Girl Offline
(ง︡'-'︠)ง



XWF FanBase:
Kids, disabled people, casual fans

(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by most adult male fans)


#1
03-30-2019, 06:47 PM Star  Shoot Yourself -->

"Power of Trash Talk to 50%"

". . ."

"Sorry that's lame, isn't it? I shouldn't announce that I'm actually trying harder as that means I'm giving effort which is a bad thing to show. Apparently. Now, at the risk of making Lacklan open that soul-sucking sphincter she calls a mouth this is mostly going to address the hot dog in a microwave that is her. Because hot dogs in a microwave make a ton of noise and end in a disappointing bang, splayed against the walls just leaving you with more work instead of something to actually enjoy. Feel like I needed to explain that since this feels more like I'm hosting a special needs class rather than a wrestling competition. Gotta say Sarah, for someone who supposedly travels the world and is soo busy being a trendsetter, it sure as heck seems like you have nothing better to do than sit in front of the computer eagerly waiting for someone to post a promo so you can run your mouth, put up your sh[Image: eaI7alo.gif?2] comics with whatever cruddy website you use to make them, like dude, how the heck do you find something less visually appealing than bitstrips? At least go the extra mile and use GoAnimate, why not use that 'hard earned money' and hire a team in Korea to make them for you? Do you actually make them yourself? Or do you just sit down and pop a squat on the toilet and you find them floating there in the bowl next to your promos?"

"Speaking of promos, literally no one cared or knew you were going to open with a 'shoot' promo. Nobody knows what you're going to do because you have ADHD worse than Kid Kool with a set of lego. Still complaining about quotes when you do the exact same thing with tweets and texts but you're so dense you can't even see the irony. It makes you look so f[Image: eaI7alo.gif?2] dumb. I'm being genuine here, this isn't a Dolly Waters throwaway line here, like legit dude you look like an idiot. When you say, a world that doesn't exist, when you've actually seen me zip in and out of reality into another video game. . . That world does exist, moron, I can go there, basically, we're already there but it isn't wrapped in some dumb s[Image: eaI7alo.gif?2] hyperbole or metaphor you dreamed up to seem more charismatic than the dull, doll-eyed lump of grey clay that you are. Do you want to see a world where I can beat you? You've been living in it your whole miserable existence, no wonder your dad died, if you were my daughter I'd find a way to make my heart stop through sheer concentration too. Is that how your dad died? I didn't pay attention to you talking honestly, did he shoot himself? Because that would fit better. Oh, not insulting your dad here again, sorry for your loss, I'm insulting you for being such a disgrace and waste of life."

"Weakling gamers get destroyed by fighters. . . You do realise I'm a video game character, not a gamer. Like, there's a very big obvious difference there but I guess it didn't fit into your lame one-liner. I am a fighter, I've been fighting a long time. I didn't just stroll up into the final round like lol where the Tekken tourney at? No, I worked as hard as you to get here, maybe even harder. Also, love how I poke fun at Lux and Dolly for generic video game references and you use them too, proving you're not unique and special in any way, great job bee tee dub but you also overstretch sooo hard to make sure you use other non-video game related generic references. I haven't even watched Sailor Moon. This is professional wrestling, where there is an alien in the pre-show, a dude with superpowers is the Television champion and Sarah Lacklan thinks she's clever. I'm sorry, how many professional wrestlers own a fashion line, make GIFs in their spare time, get the worst comics made and spend every waking moment when not cutting a promo s[Image: eaI7alo.gif?2]posting on twitter? Well, maybe the last part is true but what I'm saying is that zero percent of you is professional, just because you call yourself a super junior and a second generation wrestler does not make you any better than me or anyone else in this place. What? You think you're actually worth a darn because you think you're something special? Because you're real? You're the shining light of the company? The bratty little b[Image: eaI7alo.gif?2] who everyone got tired off the third time you made an all about me video? Don't get me wrong, you were a breath of fresh air but now you are nothing more than a stale stench lingering in the air, clogging the noses of everyone here with your sour being. You're not a shining light, you're not an important beacon of hope, you're a faulty wire that's sparking above the ceiling tiles, ready to burn this place down if you don't get your own way. What kind of shining light, throws a tantrum and threatens to quit if she doesn't get her own way?"

"What kind of idiot says I scurry away from threats when you haven't been able to have a single comeback for anything I've said? When I'm here working my butt off to prove just how wrong you are all the freaking time whilst you go on this rant and overwritten story of how YOU are in fact, A New Hope. Yeah, your whole spiel seems pretty damn redundant when it's boiled down to a movie line, very funny how you've become something you just mocked."

"You want to say I live through an avatar? How about you? The kind of low self-esteem loser who has to prove and prove again that you live a happy and exotic life, with your constant reminders of your fake friends and your fake lover, the woman you post nudes off on Twitter as a harmless joke. The person you obsess over despite the fact that you can never truly be close to her because you are nothing but an empty husk being puppeted by some illusion of grandeur. The deluded fool who spends every waking moment tapping away at her keyboard to make herself seem as important as she thinks she is, because you are nothing without your followers and the people watching your promos think you're actually worth something. You are the fat loser stuck in some porcelain playsuit, acting like a princess because you have never felt pretty or accepted. The scared little girl who slit her wrists for attention, working so darn hard on her poetry and romantic short stories featuring that boy or girl in school who asked to borrow a pencil now finally you get to live your creative dream by weaving this delusion that you, Sarah Lacklan, are something greater. Part of something good, something pure when the sad, hard truth is you are nothing but another c[Image: eaI7alo.gif?2] with an ego. Jumping from fed to fed because there's always someone better than Sarah Lacklan and you have to run away and cry before people realise just how bad you actually are. That's why you have the safety net of threatening to quit yeah? Because when Lux beats you, you can say I quit first, take your ball and go home. Without having your ego deflated for actually getting your butt handed to you. Nah, you can walk out with your head held high, because you didn't lose, no, you walked out of another bull [Image: eaI7alo.gif?2] company that allows such creative individuals which offend your very sensitive morals and ideals, so."

"Every single thing, you have said to me has been nothing but empty words. Not once did you reply to anything I said, no you just rushed through it so you can get to your arts and crafts, eating your glue and getting another drawing for mumsie to put on the fridge. You kept going for video game references despite the fact that the only person that finds them witty is yourself, trust me it's only met with 'epic' eye rolls from everyone watching. You said I'll be out of the company despite the fact I've been here the longest, took the longest break too lol. You have no idea who I am or what I'm capable of and that's your downfall, you can only see what's in front of you, that's why your first two promos were so focused on Lux despite the fact you should have known you had a small chance of getting into the finals, in only actually clicked so late on like you were experiencing from some heavy lag. Oh, yeah I can do video game jokes too, you guys impressed?"

"Lacklan, it's mind-blowing how great you think you are, how you talk like a 40-year-old man trying to be hip with the kids, how unbelievably thick-headed you are that you're missing golden opportunities to actually cause some damage with your words. No, instead you focus on these speeches so long and corny the Oscars are playing the 'hurry the heck up' music. The fact that you poked fun at my promo being a third trash talk while you think you're special now for finally sitting down for a promo which is nothing but trash talk. Oh no, it's a shoot blog, yeah? Call a stick a stick, hun. Get your head out of your fan fiction and face the real world, people like you are dime a dozen threatened by the unique talent such as myself. So, why don't you turn this 'shoot' on to yourself and blow your tiny brains out and end your embarrassing existence. Then go tweet about how a blue-haired, anime-eyed smurf made you cry."

[Image: mAmAfiJ.png]


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