Warfare opens up in the Plaza Bolivar in Bogota, Colombia with a high capacity crowd cheering away as the cameras pan across them!
Hello XWF Universe and WELCOME to Wednesdsay Warfare! We are in Bogota, Colombia and things are looking HOT tonight!
You're telling me, Pip! We've got newcomers making and taking names, a Colombian Parking Lot Brawl... We've got titles on the line... A CAGE MATCH!!
Calm down, Luca.. How long have you been here?
A few days. Why?
No reason. Fans, we're going to cut backstage here as XWF newcomer Vita Valenteen prepares for her second match-up here in the XWF!!
The scene cuts backstage to Vita Valenteen who is warming up for her upcoming match. As she lunges forward to stretch her quads who walks into frame? None other than Chris Chaos. Chris stands over her peering down with a creepy grin as Vita nervously looks up to him. Vita quickly stands up straight as she glances back and forth between Chaos and the ground, obviously uncomfortable.
”Good work last Savage.”
Vita has a puzzled look on her face as she glances back up to Chaos.
”Um thanks, but I lost…”
”Yeah you did, and in that loss you accomplished what will probably be the single greatest accomplishment in what I’m sure is going to be a pathetic career… You rid the XWF of that geriatric hasbeen Micheal Graves.”
Vita doesn’t think before rearing back and slapping Chris Chaos across the cheek. Chris’s head snaps to the side where he holds it for a moment as he copes with the situation. Vita immediately realizes the mistake she has made as a look of terror befalls her.
Suddenly Chaos snaps to attention and pushes forward against VV, backing her up against the brick wall behind of her. You can nearly see the smoke exiting from his nostrils as he leans in nose to nose with Vita. She on the other hand looks as though she’s about to piss her tights.
It looks as though Chris is about to rip into her, but then he just smiles.
”Good luck out there tonight champ…”
And with that, Chaos turns and walks away without incident, leaving VV to try and pull it together before her match.
Dude, Chris Chaos creeps me the F out. I mean, seriously.
He definitely made young VV feel uncomfortable there.
Right? I mean, she's got balls and all... But man...
Hopefully VV can put this encounter aside and walk out tonight the winner.
VV
- vs -
Rain
- vs -
Jeff Danger
Warfare opens up with a 3-Way Dance! |
This should be exciting.
Wake me up when the important people show up.
Introducing first from Toronto, Ottawa Canada weighing 122lbs and standing 5'3", Vittaaaa Valenteeeeeen.....
As the music echoes through the arena the up and comer VV makes her way down the ramp, slapping hands and giving hugs along the way. She climbs the ring steps, passes through the ropes and waits for her opponents.
Her opponent...From the Middle of Nowhere...Weighing 189lbs and standing 5'11". He is the Rainbow Warrior...Rain.
"Here comes the Rain again", by Skylar Grey hits and the colors of the arena begin to flash quickly and vibrantly, akin to a trance club, as the xTron displays the hashtag --[B] '#iAm'
'...#ETERNAL"'
Sparks of every color pour down upon the stage, as Rain saunters out, pumping his fist to the beat of the music. He wears a t-shirt reading-- '#BELiEVE' on the front, bedecked in dazzling diamonds. Over the shirt, he wears a black, leather vest with metal spikes protruding from its shoulders. And he wears a necklace with a shimmering, crystal Dragon pendant, referring to himself as the so-called "New Dragon" after his hero Javex "The Deity's Dragon" Valerius.
The fans offer up a split reaction, some calling for his head (familiar territory, to say the least). However, some cheer on 'The Storm' as he sprints down the ramp, slides under the bottom and hops on the middle rope. Rain lifts his hands into a heart, holding it high into the air. The cheers of the "Storm-Watchers" reverberate throughout the building, as Rain prepares for war.
Maybe we have a good showing from Rain tonight.
Yeah...Right...
There opponent from Dead to Rights, Michigan, Weighing 210lbs and standing 5'11". Jack Dannnnngeeeer.
Jeff makes his way to the ring and climbs in and stares his opponents down.
The ref calls for the bell and the smaller VV goes for Rain. Pummeling him with blow after blow. Dangers goes over to break it up and gets caught with an elbow to the bridge of the nose, VV continued the assault on Rain. Danger tries again to break it up this time succeeding and pulling VV off of Rain.
Rain goes on the offensive, but not on VV. He sets his sights on Danger. He grabs danger around the waist and lifts him up...
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX
The two men slam into the mat. Rain goes for the cover...
1...
TW...
VV breaks the cover us with a dropkick to the back of Danger's head. The two men roll around on the mat as she climbs the turnbuckles. Once on top she measures up the two men, Danger was closer. She set her sight on him and jumped...
FROG SPLASH
But Dangers moves out of the way and VV bounces off the mat. Danger looks to Rain. He stalks him like a predator watching his injured prey. Rain slowly crawled away from Danger never taking his eyes off of him. Danger moved closer Rain became more and more nervous. Danger lunges at Rain as he rolls out of the ring. Dangers' shoulder slams into the ring post. Ran while on the outside lines up and throws a kick.
SHOT IN THE DARK
Danger's head bounces off of the nearby ring post. Rain rolls back into the ring he pulls Danger to the center of the ring. Rain takes a moment and poses for his fans. Holding his hands in a heart over his head.VV had made it back to her feet and is behind him as he poses. She taps him on the shoulder, as he turns around he is met with a kick to the gut. VV pulls his head into the body and runs over to the turnbuckle. She climbs up the first two and jumps off. Rain's head soon after bounces off the mat...
TORNADO DDT
VV rolls him up for the pin...
1....
2....
.
KICKOUT
Danger is back to his feet and he moves towards VV and Rain. He rolls VV off of Rain and he grapples Rain. Wrenching Rain's wrists and putting his arms around Rains and squeezing. Danger has his Anaconda Vice locked in and Rain is screaming in pain at this point. The ref is asking if he wants to give up. Rain keeps saying no, Danger continues to tighten the submission. Rain is starting to turn colors as the ref asks again. Rain doesn't respond...The ref goes to call for the bell but is cut off by VV breaking up the hold and locking her own in. Wrapping her legs around one arm and passing the other to grab Danger by the neck. She torques her hips as hard as she can while pulling his head..
RINGS OF SATURN
WILL HE TAP?......
Rain climbs on top of VV and breaks the hold by pulling her hair! VV and Rain begin rolling around the ring scratching and clawing at each other.
”Catfight!!! Catfight!!!”
”Eww…”
VV mounts herself on top of Rain and grabs a handful of hair before raining down Hell with a flurry of punches! VV then swings around and locks Rain into the Rings Of Saturn!
The ref slides in and ask if he submits, but Rain refuses!
VV let’s out a howl as she torques back with all her might bending Rain into a U shape. Rain quickly pounds the mat and the red calls for the bell!
Sebasstian Dyke
- vs -
Damon Tyler |
Music plays Dyke walks to the ring with his half of the XWF Tag Team Championship. A woman holds her child out for him to kiss but instead of doing the decent thing he grabs the child and heaves it into the crowd like he were Carson Wentz throwing a bomb deep down field to Nelson Agholor. Just then Bilbo erratically scooters out of the back and spits on the crying mother as he drives by.
What an asshole!
"Pittsburgh's Prodigal Son" Damon Tyler appears from behind the curtains to a warm reception from the crowd. He climbs into the ring and stares his opponent down awaiting the bell.
The bell sounds and Damon Tyler immediately rushes across the ring and levels Dyke with a forearm strike to the side of the head. Dyke collapses and starts screeching in self-defense, screaming something about Damon Tyler trying to sexually assault him and won’t somebody think of the children.
Tyler ignores this and just lays in a bunch of stomps until Dyke man ages to roll out under the bottom rope into Bilbo’s lap. Bilbo revs up his mobility scooter and hits high gear (5 mph) putting around the ring to keep away from Tyler while the referee counts. Dyke stands up in Bilbo’s chair’s footrests, leaning forward while Bilbo holds him around the waist and continues to scoot around the ring. Dyke extends his arms and shouts “I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD” while Bilbo plays Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On’ on the boombox he has duct taped to the side of the chair. After about a count of six, Tyler has had enough of the charade and he leaps from the ring, charging at the XWF Tag Team Champions who are by now both sobbing along with Dion’s lyrics with their eyes closed, and Tyler destroys Dyke with a running lariat that sends him spilling off of Bilbo and onto the concrete. As Bilbo tries to escape, Tyler rips the boombox off of the scooter and flings it down onto the hapless body of Sebasstian Dyke, sending broken bits of plastic flying around and causing the tape deck to open and the Titanic soundtrack to unspool all over the floor.
Tyler drags Dyke by his mullet into the ring once again, and snaps him over his head in a scintillating exploder suplex that sends the BX3 enforcer into the ring ropes potentially tearing his ACL like Booker T did to Rick Martell that one time. What I mean is it looks like it hurts. Dyke limps to his feet, favoring his The Model leg, and is quickly scooped back up and down again into a release German suplex that would make Goebbels proud. Dyke slowly rises again but drops into a fetal position when Tyler rushes him for another clothesline. Totally turtled up, Dyke rocks back and forth while trying to slowly crawl backwards toward where Bilbo now sits just outside the ring with his hand in his pants.
Damon Tyler looks frustrated as he stomps over to Dyke in the corner, and then when he reaches down to pick the Tag Champion up, Bilbo whistles for his attention... and then raises his Ghost Tank tee shirt to show off a superfluous nipple... that’s apparently lactating! Tyler is dumbfounded! Dyke manages to take advantage by getting behind him and slapping on a rear waist lock, but Tyler comes to his senses and grabs onto the top rope when Dyke tries to lift him in a suplex of his own.
“NOW BILBO DO IT NOW!”
Dyke screams as Bilbo continues to rub himself beneath his cargo pants. In a flurry of motion, Bilbo does his best Multiple Miggs impression and flings a wad of pearly white goo up into the face of Damon Tyler... but Tyler moves! Dyke takes a full face of web fluid, and staggers backward, trying to scoop all of the ejaculate into his mouth in order to clear his vision.
Tyler takes advantage of the distraction by climbing to the top rope and flying off, hitting a missile dropkick right to Dyke’s injured knee! Dyke falls to the mat in pain, and just as he lifts his head from the canvas he catches a massive CATACLYSM knee strike that puts his lights out!
Tyler with a cover!
1!
2!
3!!!!!
| Winner by pinfall – Damon Tyler |
BOMBSHELL CHAMPIONSHIP
Nyx Nephtis ©
- vs -
Jessalyn Hart
Bombshell Title on the line! |
This match is set for one fall and is for the XWF Bombshell Title! Introducing first, from Cincinnati, Ohio, Jessalyn Hart!
the words NEVER...BE...SILENT!!! appear on the screen as the song starts. Lights go out Stobe lights at the top of the ramp illuminate the silhouette of Jessalyn. The lights come on to her facing the facing the ring. She runs down the ramp, slides into the ring. Climbs the turnbuckle with arms stretched out.
And introducing her opponent, she is the XWF Bombshell Champion, Nyx Nephthys!
The arena darkens, momentarily before taking on a purple, radiant hue. Lavender mist, seeps and seethes along the floor, while amethyst and indigo fireworks erupt in a magnificent display and Nyx Nephthys, emerges. Greeted by hoards of screaming fans, she shows little emotion as she walks to the ring, climbs the steel steps and enters the squared circle. Where she walks to the center of the ring, whispering something softly to herself as she raises her left hand, high into the air. Suddenly, a bright blast of lilac energy is pulled down into Nyx's raised hand and then, quickly blinds the entire arena in an epic flash. Dispersing as swiftly as it was created, it is revealed that everything has returned to normal and Nyx has taken her position within the ring, where she awaits the fight to begin.
Nyx and Jessalyn stare each other down.
These two have gotten to know each other pretty well over the course of the past few weeks!
Yeah I am hoping for a hardcore makeout sesh here!
The two circle as the bell rings, before tying up in the middle of the ring. Jessalyn appears to be the aggressor, powering Nyx into the corner. The two are still locked up and Jessalyn wrestles her back into the middle. She arm tosses the champ, and puts a knee into her back, locking her into a sleeper. Nyx flails her arms, but Jessalyn, with an aggressive look on her face pulls tighter. Nyx twists and is able to spin, getting to her feet but Jessalyn keeps the hold on and knees Nyx in the gut, hitting a DDT. She quickly hooks the leg.
Jessalyn trying to make quick work of the champ.
Oh yeah, cover her, get on top....there we go...lift that leg....mmmmm
1
2
Nyx gets a shoulder up. Jessalyn is even angier and lifts the champ up by the hair. She whips her into the ropes. Jessalyn loads up and charges, but Nyx gets an elbow up. The challenger stumbles back and Nyx goes low, with a shoulder block to the back of the knee. Jessalyn goes down to one knee. Nyx comes off the ropes on the other side and goes for a running knee but Jessalyn catches her in a fall away slam in mid air.
Wow.
Nyx is down and Jessalyn gets up to her feet. She walks over and grabs Nyx but the head, but the champ, quickly thinking, chops the leg again. Jessalyn goes down again and Nyx grabs it, locking her into an ankle lock.
Split second, the champ has a lock in! Blink of an eye!
Jessalyn is flailing, reaching for the ropes. Nyx is wrenching the knee. She is curled up like a snake around its prey, an unorthodox looking hold. She is trying to break Jessalyn's leg. Finally, just before Jessalyn is about to tap she is able to get her good leg into the chest of Nyx and push her off. Nyx breaks the hold and rolls off, popping up. Jessalyn tries to get to her feet but the champ hits her with a standing drop kick.
Cover.
1
2
3--Jessalyn gets a shoulder up. The Colombian crowd roars at this action packed match.
This has actually been entertaining....now all we need is a wardrobe malfunction and we've got ourselves a match!
You're too much.
Nyx picks up Jessalyn and locks her in for a DDT but the challenger pushes her into the corner. Still locked under Nyx's arm, she tries to flip her over her shoulder but her leg gives out. Nyx sees this and chops at it again. Jessalyn goes down, holding her knee. Nyx goes to the second rope and jumps down with a double club the the back and goes for a roll up pin but Jessalyn reverses and rolls up Nyx! She has the tights, the champs purple thong visible!
1
2
Nyx pops out!
She pops to her feet. Jessalyn is on one knee. Nyx comes off the ropes, Jessalyn goes to dive at the knees but Nyx jumps over and comes off the ropes on the other side.
SHINING WIZARD!
A big knee to the face! Wow!
Both are down, however. Nyx to catch her breath and Jessalyn because she got a knee to the forehead.
Both women get to their feet, using the ropes. Jessalyn is limping a bit. Nyx goes for a kick, Jessalyn ducks and lifts her over her head for a press slam but her leg gives out. She drops Nyx and the champ kicks Jessalyn in the side of the head.
OOOHHHHH from the crowd.
Jessalny crumbles.
Cover.
1
2
3---Jessalyn gets a shoulder up!
Nyx has a thin grin on her face. She picks Jessalyn up, signaling for her finisher. But Jessalyn gets a thumb to the eye and Nyx stumbles back grabbing her face, Jessalyn grabs her.
CODE BREAKER OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!!!!
My god! I swear I heard Nyx's spine snap! Jessalyn gonna steal the title here!
She rolls into a cover.
1
2
3----NYX GETS A SHOULDER UP!
OOOHHHHH from the crowd as Jessalyn slaps the mat in frustration!
What is she going to have to do to keep the champ down?!
Cholorform works!
The camera pans to a "fan" in a sheep like mask trying to get to the ring, but security are quick to get in their way and try to stop them, but the fan starts to hit the security team with a Kendo Stick.
”What in the hell is going on outside of the ring Luca?”
Then we see the "fan" hop over the barricades, and goes near where Tig's located, and pick up the Bombshell Championship from the table. The "fan" tries to intervene on the Apron, but gets stopped by the ref.
”The fans down here in Colombia are pretty wild Pip!”
The "fan" knocks out the ref with one solid punch to the jaw, then jumps into the ring and stands between Jessalyn, and Nyx. The "fan" gets into a tussle with Jessalyn, and she manages to snag the belt back with all her might.
”Well Jessalyn managed to get the belt away from this rouge fan. Now hopefully security can get this clown out of the ring.”
”Security has already tried and failed with this guy Pip!”
Jessalyn then hands the belt over to Tig on the outside and she turns around to a Kendo Stick shot to the skull from this “fan”. Jessalyn grabs her head and stumbles back as the invader rushes forward and kicker her in the gut to set up...
CRADLE PILEDRIVER!!!
”Oh my God! Jessalyn Hart has just been laid out by some crazed fan!”
”I don’t think that’s actually a fan Pip…”
Then the "fan" instructs Nyx to pin her, and she goes for the pin. The "fan" wakes up the ref, and leaves the ring.
Nyx looks confused by everything that just took place, but decides to go for the cover anyway. The ref takes well over a three count to finally get into position.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE…
NO, KICKOUT!!!
”Where Jessalyn found the wherewithal to kick out, who knows!”
”She didn’t become Xtreme Champion by accident Pip!”
Nyx jumps to her feet and quickly pulls Jessalyn up to hers as well, looking to finish her off once and for all. Nyx kicks her in the gut doubling her over. She follows that up by hitting the ropes and hoping on top of Jessalyn, setting up for a sunset flip powerbomb. Jessalyn manages to catch Nyx off her game and falls to her butt, causing Nyx to crash into the mat head first with a sort of piledriver!
”Oh my God, she may have just broke her neck with that counter!”
Jessalyn climbs back up to her feet and looks out to the crowd searching for the person that just attacked her. She seems to spot him and jumps out of the ring and chases after him through the crowd. The ref is left with no choice but to start counting.
”Where’s she going!?!”
”It looks like she’s chasing after the son of a bitch that attacked her!”
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Jessalyn is long gone... I wonder who was behind that attack, Luca
FOUR!
It's hard to tell, man. Hart IS the Xtreme Champion after all.... Maybe there's more to this than what it seems?
FIVE!
SIX!
It doesn't look like she really cares and is not coming back. Nyx is going to retain her Bombshell Title once again.
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEN!
| WINNER VIA COUNTOUT: NYX NEPHTHYS!!! |
The scene opens up as we see Drezdin standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone in his right hand. As his music blares through the PA system, he again does the world worst rock impression as half the fans chant his name and the other half chant be his be his ass whole birch.
Good god almighty! Holy shit that's powerful. Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls and yes you the kiddos.....I wish you guys would be me.
I mean the energy that I'm getting, the energy that you are giving me is sssooo powerful that it's literally overwhelming, you guys just have to stand here and have to feel it.
I thank you for all the support that you've given me since ive arrived here in the xwf, with out it I wouldn't be here.
The fans erupt with cheer
And for that in return just for all of you, I will kick that white fat alberts ass known as Peter blah blah Gilmore.
The fans again erupted with cheer then chantinhis name
Peter you piece of horses crap, if you really think that you are still the shit, if you say that you are goin to take me to the xtreme.....bitch prove it.
Peter, you'll be so full of the white stuff that even the worst drug dealers all over the world will be jellous.
Your just goin to be as you've always been, a shell of your former self.
So with all that being said Peter blah blah Gilmore, walk your ass over to the parking lot brawl where there will be a shit load of narcotics and get your overly hyped ass kicked.
The scene cuts backstage. We see VV entering her locker room. As she opens the door, something catches her off guard and she lets out a startled howl as she jumps back in shock. Chris Chaos quickly rushes out of the locker room and grabs her. She screams and struggles against him, but he is able to easily overpower her. He throws her over his shoulder and begins marching down the hall.
”You made a big mistake laying your hands on me girl!”
Vita struggles and screams for help, but nobody is coming to her rescue.
”Don’t you know what happens to people who fuck with me?”
VV continues to kick and fight, but her efforts are futile.
”I’d tell you to go ask Jim Caedus, but you can’t now can you?”
Chaos kicks a large metal door open and walks through it to the outside parking lot. VV desperately grabs a hold of the door frame and tries to pull herself free.
”I guess that’s the point though, isn’t it? I can make you disappear and nobody would ever be able to find you!”
Chaos manages to break her grip and continues off towards a beat up light blue van that’s covered in rust. Two shady (assumably) local men are leaning beside of the open side door. One of them is smoking a cigar.
”Do you know where we are? This is Colombia, where human trafficking is very much a thing here. You could end up blowing some old guys knob, or wasting away working in a mine. Considering your looks, I’d say enjoy the mines… Unless maybe your pedophile pal Graves can get his hands on you...”
Chaos laughs at his own joke as VV continues to kick and fight, finally managing to slip free. She drops to the ground in front of Chaos, but quickly jumps back to her feet. Before she can escape, Chaos grabs her arm, holding her in place as he raises his open hand up. Chris swings down with a mighty blow.
WHACK!!!
Chaos drops to his knees and grabs his back. The camera pulls back to see Jessalyn Hart standing over Chris Chaos with a steel chair.
”Back off creep!”
Chaos puts his hands above his head as he slowly stands up and backs away. Jessalyn continues to hold the chair with her guard up and keeps a close eye on him. After putting a safe distance between them, Chaos smiles and drops his arms.
”You two bitches just made a huge mistake.”
”Yeah? Lick my feet asshole!”
Chaos’s smile seems to turn into an amused chuckle just before he turns around and reenters the arena. Jessalyn Hart drops her guard and turns to check on VV. The two begin talking among themselves as the scene cuts away.
What was THAT all about?!
I told you, Pip, that guy gives me the creeps....
Chris Chaos certainly has a darkness to him... Anyway... It's time for the ColombiaN CARTEL PARKING LOT BRAWL!!
Peter Gilmour
- vs -
Drezdin
Colombian Cartel Parking Lot Brawl - Competitors fight backstage within a circle of headlights!
Loud cars and cocaine surround the two in this match! Small bags of cocaine are thrown and left around within the ring leaving them for the competitors to get an extra homegrown burst!!! |
The Xtron lights up as the cameras switch to a parking garage. Whether it's within the arena, below it, above it? Nobody knows. A dozen cars a parked in a circle with their headlights on and shining towards the middle. A crowd of people sit and stand on and all around the cars on the outside of this fighting ground, with the two competitors, Peter Gilmour and Drezdin, already standing on their designated sides.
Alright folks.... This is not for the faint of heart...
Man, you ain't kidding..
Up next, we have Peter Gilmour facing off against Drezdin in a Colombian Parking Lot Brawl! And let's just say....
It's snowing!!!
The back doors open on a car parked outside of the circle and Bruce Buffer and Judge Mills Lane step out of each side. Bruce Buffer, dressed to kill as always, steps towards the circle of cars followed by the judge who uses the aid of a walker to do so.
We have two special guests this evening. Announcing the match we have UFC Ring Announcer Bruce Buffer and standing in as our Special Guest Referee, legendary boxing official, Judge Mills Lane!
Man, that dude is 80 years old and still doing this stuff, Pip.
Well, in reality, he'll be explaining the rules to the two men then starting the match. The officiating will then be handed off to the star of countless movies and television shows, the owner and operator of Trejo's Tacos, as well as a retired cartel leader, himself.....
Danny MF'n Trejo! I think I seen one of his trucks parked across the street, Pip!
Sweet!
Bruce Buffer takes his position in the center of the ring and holds out his hand where a microphone drops from somewhere above him right into it.
Tonight is the night where two men put it all on the line... Line after line.... To prove not just to the world, but to themselves WHO is better? After weeks after talk back and forth and months of build up... Ladies and gentlemen...... Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's..... TIME!!!
Cheers and small bags of cocain already start flying into the fighting area as the car horns are blown and lights flash off and on. Bruce Buffer looks down at his index card and reads.
I get goosebumps every time, Pip.
The following contest, is a Colombian Cartel Parking Lot Brawl and is scheduled for one fall! The winner will be crowned after the first pinfall, submission, orrrrrr knockout! The officials for this contest are Judge Mills Lane and Danny Trejo who at ANY time can call this bout!
Bruce Buffer heads over to where Drezdin is and points his index card!
Introducing first! Standing over 7' tall and weighing over 300 pounds....
FIGHTING!!!!!
From the blue car.......
Hailing from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan........
DREZDIN!!!
The fans around the circle all cheer for the big man as he has already picked up a small bag of coke and is flicking it with his finger before clearing off a space on the car hood behind him.
Drezdin's doing well to prepare for this match-up, Pip.
Well, Peter has announced several times over that he is STRAIGHT-EDGE.... So we'll see how this type of match-up effects him.
Bruce Buffer heads over to Peter and points that way....
And his opponent!!! Weighing 260 pounds.....
FIGHTING!!!!!!!
From the red car..... Hailing from the City of Angels, Los Angeles, California.......
PETEEEEEER!!!! GIIIIIIILLLLLLMMMMMMOOOOOOUUUUURRRRR!!!!
A bit of a mixed reaction from the crowd for the King of Xtreme, Luca....
Did he just tell a Colombian Cartel member to 'Suck his dick'?
Judge Mills Lane hobbles out to the center and calls the two fighters foward. Drezdin already has white powder all over his face and mouth and can't stop smacking his gums and licking his chops. Peter looks on focused and determined as he stares his opponent down.
Alright men, you've been explained the rules before your arrival. I do NOT want a clean fight here. Scratching, biting, clawing, stabbing, throwing... They're all encouraged. All weapons are legal and the fight is not limited to within the circle. The first one to tap out, quit, be knocked out, or pinned will be the loser and myself or Mr. Trejo will be stopping the match. And gentlemen, these falls, of course, count ANYwhere! Do you understand?
Peter says nothing. Drezdin bends down and flexes his huge chest where his heart can almost be seen beating out of his chest.
Alright! Let's get it on!
Peter heads back to the red car, Drezdin to the blue, before the bell rings and the brawl begins!
Drezdin immediately turns around to the hood of the car and blasts another line of cocain. He turns around, howls like a wolf, and charges Peter. Peter evades by rolling out of the way and, like a bull, Drezdin runs and shoulders the front of a car! The car bounces a foot into the air and springs off the ground a few times. Drezdin shakes it off and bounces back to his feet. Peter runs up behind him and kicks the big man in the back of the knee. Drezdin takes one, then another one, but then immediately turns around and clotheslines Gilly down to the pavement!
Drezdin doesn't seem to be feeling any pain right now, Luca.
Silence.
Luca?
Luca can now be seen among the crowd of Colombians, gambling, etc....
Oh, boy.
Drezdin picks Peter up off the ground and whips him into a car! Peter bounces off the hood and slides up onto the windshield. Drezdin charges and leaps into the air!!
STINGER SPLASH!
Peter moves out of the way just in time and Drezdin smashes into the hood and dents it all to hell!!!!
Drezdin's lucky that windshield didn't smash, too, fans! Well, maybe, nothing has quite phased him yet.......!
Drezdin is a little bit slower getting up this time. His chest and arms are bleeding a bit after smashing into the old, metal hood of the car. Peter runs towards him and donkey kicks Drezdin in the chest sending him back into the car he already smashed. Gilly then leaps up onto a car besid it, up onto the roof, and dives off hitting a short frog splash onto Drezdin!! Peter hooks the leg and Special Guest Official Danny Trejo checks the shoulders!!
Uno!!!
Dos!!!!
Drezdin kicks out from the hood of the car!
In fact, he powers out so hard that he lifts Peter off of him and sends him rolling from the car onto the pavement! Drezdin reaches over and grabs another small bag of coke and just holds his face up to the bag! Peter is on his feet and super kicks Drezdin through the little baggy as he was taking a hoof! The bag flies out of Drez's hand and he sits dazed on the hood of the car for a moment! Peter moves into grab him when Drezdin sneezes and blows a huge cloud of coke dust into Peter's face!
Peter staggers back, HIS face now covered with the white powder, and blinks several times trying to fight off the blast!
Well, I suppose this would even the odds a little bit?
Peter screams like a banshee, runs, and leaps onto Drezdin! Drezdin, with new found life, as well, battles back and the two go fist for fist in the middle of the fighting ring!
This Colombian cartel crowd is going absolute BONKERS for these two lunatics right now! What a back and forth match-up! Weeks of aggression coming down to THIS very moment!
Drezdin grabs Peter by the throat and with super strength picks him up into the air with one hand! He throws Gilly across the ring and onto another car! Peter quickly reaches over and with great strength of his own, rips the metal side mirror from the car's driver's side door! Drezdin tries for another big splash.... He leaps and Peter smacks the big man across the face, smashing the mirror and bending the bracket from which it was bolted to the car! Drezdin's eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls to his back on the ground! Peter holds his now bleeding hand tightly and winces in pain!
Peter is lucky if he didn't break his hand from that! What a desparation move...
Peter slides off the car, falls to his knees, and covers Drezdin again. Special Guest Official, Danny Trejo, again falls into position!
Uno!!!
Dos!!!!
Another big kickout from Drezdin!
Peter climbs up on the roof of a car and waits for Drezdin to pick himself back up. The fighting area is completely caked with white powder and polluted with little bags at this point. Drezdin basiclly slams his face against the hood of a car to vacuum up some remnance. Peter leaps off the roof of the car, but is caught with another cloud of powder that Drezdin manages to throw into his face! Peter inhales as the pure powdery substance burns his eyes! Drezdin grabs Peter off the ground and sets him up for a jacknife powerbomb! He lifts Gilly up..... But Peter fights back with several fists to Drez's head! Drez shakes off every blow and throws Peter down hard and THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD OF A CAR!!!! The glass doesn't break completely, but bends in half! Peter's blood trickles down through it into the car and down the front of it!
Oh my God... D.T.D. through the windshield!! I don't think Drezdin OR Peter are going to be quite the same after this match....
Scarred, bloodied, and hooked on cocain!!
Oh! Everyone welcome back Luca Arzegotti to the commentators booth.
Have you been watching this, Pipp-Ipp-Pip-P-P-Pbbtt-Pip? Drezdin, Peter, Drezdin, Peter... It's so back and forth and can hardly keep up! Can you keep up? Can anyone keep up?
Luca speaks a mile a minute... Pip tries to keep up and pay attention to the fight as Drezdin climbs atop the car that Peter has been smashed through, he reaches down and peels Peter off the windshield like a piece of velcro...
He throws Peter up on his shoulder and leaps from the hood of the car onto the pavement!!!
Peter is flattened!!! What a powerslam by Drezdin! This has to be it!
Uno!!!
Dos!!!!
Kickout by Peter! How did he? How could he?!
Cocain is a powerful drug, Pip!
An red outline of Peter's body from the blood has stained the pavement as Drezdin pulls him up by his hair. Drezdin grabs Peter by the arm and attempts to pull him into a clothesline from Hell,l but Peter ducks..... And catches Drezdin in a Gilly Cutter!!!!!
NO!!! DREZDIN SHOVES PETER OFF!
Drezdin with a big boot!!!
Peter ducks!!!! SUPER KICK!!!!!
Drezdin catches Peter's foot..... Enziguri from GILLY!!! HE CAUGHT DREZ IN THE SIDE OF THE FACE!!!
Drezdin staggers back and falls into the car that he Stinger Splashed earlier in the match. One of the cartel members hold out a foot-long dagger with a large bump of coke along it..... Drez takes it in one sniff!!! He screams and goes Super Saiyan!!! A bright gold aura surrounds Drezdin like he was dipped in radiation!
He grabs ahold of the dented hood of the car and rips it off!!! He turns to face Peter and throws the hood like a frisby across the fighting ring! Lucky for Gilly, he manages to duck under the flying metal hood and it crashes into the same car he took the windhshield out of! Super Saiyan Drezdin follows behind the hood frisby and spears Gilly!!!
Ouuch!!!
What the fuck?! How come I didn't get that effect?
What?
What?
The aftermath is like if Peter was smashed by a mac truck and sandwiched between another car. The front of the car is smashed in and Peter Gilmour is in proverbial pieces all over the ground.... Super Saiyan Drezdin grabs Peter and tosses him onto the demolished car and climbs up with him to the roof....
Oh nooo.....
Are we about to see some Russian Roulette?!
Drezdin sets Peter up for his own patented front pump-handle slam on the roof of the car... He lifts Peter up........
But Peter slides off Drez's back......!!!!
Look out!!
Drez turns to face him and is caught in a GILLY CUTTER!!!!
All four of the car's tires burst and the car implodes on itself and sits on it's frame on the ground! In a cloud of white powder, rivers of blood, and sounds of agony..... Peter crawls over top of Drezdin for the cover.........
Uno!!
Dos!!!!!
TRES!!!!!!!
It's over!!!
Peter Gilmour has done it!
What a match, what a fight, what a night, Pip!
The winner........ by pinfall........!!!!! PETEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GILLLLLLLLLLMMMMMOOOOUUUUURRRRR!!!
Drezdin manages to actually kick out, but it was a few seconds after the three count! He still glows with his golden aura, and doesn't look to be done fighting at all! Gilly and Drezdin continue their brawl.... Bouncing and back forth off of each other and the other cars. Danny Trejo and Mills Lane, look at one another, shrug their shoulders and watch the brutalality continue on.
It doesn't look like the officials of this match-up are too concerned about putting a stop to this, Luca.
I could watch this ALL night, Pip!
Well, unfortunately, WE cannot. We still have two more matches left on the show! Including a steel cage match for the Hart Title!
The return of Barney Green!!
That's our Main Event! Up next, we have Chris Chaos facing off against Joachim Bright!!!
Peter and Drezdin continue their fight as they move from the parking garage to IN the building....
We promise to keep up with this brawl as our night continues folks... But we have another match to announce!
What a drag!
Chris Chaos
- vs -
Joachim Bright |
The following singles contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first being accompanied to the ring by Jenny Myst, From Tampa, Florida, Chris Chaos!
The words
"FOLLOW ME" show up on the X-Tron screen as smoke billows at the entrance. Blue and white lights flicker. At the 10 second mark, he steps through the smoke wearing his jacket (Rated R Edge trench coat). Looking to both sides of the crowd. He walks slowly to the ring until he gets about 3/4 of the way down, then jogs and slides into the ring (edge style)...When he gets into the ring he gets up on the far turnbuckle and gets up on it, throwing both arms up.
And his opponent...Joachim Bright!
As the opening instrumental to "Words as Weapons" by Seether kicks in, Joachim appears at the top of the ramp. His entrance has little in the way of frills, but he'll clap hands with people who reach out to him. He'll climb up the ring steps and vault over the top rope, rolling to his feet and backing into a corner where he sits on the top turnbuckle while waiting for the match to start.
Now this is a match I'm excited to see.
Joachim Bright of course being the son of Dexter Bright, who is the current XWF Universal Champion, The Engineer going up against Chris Chaos who of course is accompanied by his girlfriend, the current acting General Manager of Savage, Jenny Myst. This will be an interesting match, definitely!
The bell rings and immediately both men circle each other, trying to be the first one to see and take advantage of an opening but at least from the beginning it's the quickness of Joachim that seems to be giving him the slight upper hand in this exchange, perhaps being just half a second faster on the offensive spectrum than Chris is for the time being. Both guys try to dart an opening back and forth before a chop from Bright signals the beginning of the offense in this match. However, Chaos is quick to follow up with this, striking back with a well executed forearm smash of his own, staggering Bright momentarily. Chaos will follow up on this by charging forth and squaring Bright down onto the canvas with a solid big boot, knocking him down.
Almost a picture-perfect big boot!
Almost decapitated him with that one Pip!
The big boot is a destructive one, immediately flooring Bright onto the canvas as the chaotic nature that Chaos is known to possess instantly coming into play here as he instantly dives down on Joachim, reigning a series of mounted punches, driving fists directly into the head of Joachim as Chris is trying to inflict as much damage as possible, looking to end the match early as possible as Jenny is supporting him on. Strike after str-NO! JOACHIM STOPS IT! Joachim blocks one of the right-hands that Chris is aiming for as Joachim counters with a HARD KNEE to the chest of Chris Chaos!
Joachim escaping the mounted punches of Chris Chaos with that hard knee to the chest!
Well he is the son of the Universal Champion, it's hard to think that he wouldn't know how to counter situations like that.
The mounted punches stop, and with the connection of the hard knee, Joachim is able to roll out of the situation just as Chris Chaos pulls himself up to his feet in the process. Chris Chaos – fuming now – just CHARGES at Joachim only for Joachim to SLIDE UNDER CHRIS CHAOS, PERFECT BASEBALL SLIDE! With Joachim now behind Chaos, Chris turns around only for him to dropkick Chaos sending him into the corner. With Chris slumped in their, Joachim helms himself at the opposite corner only for him to RACE at Chaos and connecting with a running facewash! The knee connects as Joachim pulls Chaos out of the corner and attempts a pinfall.
Here coems the pin attempt!
One!
Two!
NO! SHOULDER UP!
And Chris gets the shoulder up, making sure that match doesn't end there. Both men rise to their feet as Chaos pulls Joachim directly in out of nowhere and plants him SQUARE WITH A DDT!
A vicious DDT from Chris Chaos! Drilling Bright's skull directly into the canvas!
The DDT from Chaos is a successful one, but one can't help but notice that Chris's hands are still firmly clutched on Bright's head as he transitions almost seemingly into a crossface, flipping his body over in the process, grabbing hold of Joachim's arm and locking in the submission hold!
From the DDT, transitioning almost effortlessly into a Crossface! There is a reason why this man is considered one of the greatest wrestler's in the history of the XWF.
The crossface is locked incredibly tightly here, Chris Chaos pulling out as hard as he can on Joachims' head, whilst Bright starts crying out in pain. There is a look in Chris's eyes at the moment with the hold locked in. Something that just screams chaos, unpredictability and a wild temper. The submission is locked on tightly here as Bright is crawling and trying to do everything he possibly can to get out of it. Bright's pulling...pulling...AND HANG ON A SECOND!
Joachim Bright! Doing everything he can to escape the submissio-WAIT! Joachim is reaching out...reaching...AND HE GETS TO THE ROPES!
The referee runs in, immediately calling the rope break here forcing Chaos to let go of the submission which he does...at 4. As Chaos goes up to his feet whilst Joachim slowly pulls himself up to his...and at the exact second Joachim does, Chaos PLANTS HIM!
SPIKE PILEDRIVER FROM CHRIS CHAOS! Once again putting so much destruction and pain on Joachim's neck!
And Chris Chaos goes for the cover! Will he get it!?
One...
Two...
Thr-
NO! KICKOUT!
We're about to hit the wire in this match Pip and it's still anyone's contest.
Both Chaos and Bright are back to their feet. Bright locks up with Chaos and quickly grabs the upper hand, tossing Chaos into the corner and following it up with a splash that sends Chaos stumbling forward. Bright wastes no time as he grabs Chaos by the back of the head and smashes it into the top turnbuckle not once, not twice but three times. Chaos erratically stumbles out of the corner and falls to the mat his eyes glazed over as they look upward towards the ceiling.
Looks like Joachim Bright has the opening he needed to put this one away.
I guess we're about to find out, he's climbing the turnbuckles.
Bright climbs to the top turnbuckle and then spins around to face the crowd. He points to the fans before leaping off connecting with a perfect double moonsault that he calls Lightbringer!!!
As Bright attempts a pin Jenny Myst climbs the ring apron and starts berating the ref. The ref walks over towards her and starts yelling back at her while Bright looks on furious at what is obviously The Empire using dirty tactics.
Suddenly the crowd erupts in a chorus of boos as Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus better known as N.A.Z.I. comes sprinting out of the back. He slides into the ring, grabs an unaware Joachim Bright and hits him with The Final Solution, a violent gorilla press slam!!
This is some bullshit right here! Bright clearly had Chaos beat for the 3 count until Myst and Idenhaus got involved!!
That's the name of the game pal.
What is cheating?
If you ain't cheating you ain't trying.
Idenhaus pulls Chaos atop Bright and then rolls out of the ring and ducks down out of the refs view just as Myst conveniently ends her rant. The ref turns around to see the pin and immediately starts the three count.
1
2
3!!!
The feed switches to the backstage area again where Peter Gilmour and Drezdin are still beating the hell out of each other...
Look! Peter and Drez are STILL at it! Someone?! Anyone?! Put as stop to this thing!
What are you talking about Pip? This is TV GOLD, right here! Gilly equals ratings! Gilly! Gilly!
The two make their way to the catering area backstage where several tables are set up loaded with trays of food. Some backstage staff are gathered around and scatter when Drezdin and Peter come crashing their way. Drezdin picks up a large garbage can, holds it over his head and throws it right at Peter. It bounces off of him and sends Peter flailing backwards. He frantically crawls over to it, pulls the nearly full garbage back out of it, and starts whipping the bag at Drezdin like a pair of numchuks! Drezdin dodges each attack like Muhummed Ali until Peter lands a quick kick to Drezdin's gut. Gilly drops the bag and zips behind Drezdin and lifts the big man up!!! Gilly throws Drezdin behid him through a catering table with a German suplex! Drezdin crashes through and rolls to his stomach! Both men are covered with food now! Peter reaches down and grabs a deli sandwich off the ground, takes a bite out of it, then throws it at Drezdin! Suddenly, Warfare GM Jefferson Jackson appears out of the wood work!
Uh oh, there's the boss.
Peter! Peter! Enough is enough, here! You know we have to pay for all of this food, right?!
Gilly says nothing, but motions for the Warfare General Manager to .... you know what. Gilly goes back after Drezdin who was playing possum and hit Peter across the face with a hot pan of ziti! Peter cries out in pain as the steaming Italian dish buns his face and arms!
Folks, again, we'll keep you updated on this situation backstage! We have our main event up next and it's a doozie!
But! But!!
MAIN EVENT
HART CHAMPIONSHIP
Robert Main ©
- vs -
Barney Green
XWF Hart Championship on the line in a CAGE MATCH! The challenge was made and accepted by the returning XWF hardcore legend, himself, Barney Green! |
We're back folks and from we've been told the incident going on backstage has yet to be resolved. Jefferson Jackson has called the authorities to assist in the matter and hopefully no one gets hurt.
He called the cops?! What kind of fucking GM calls the cops on his own players, man?! What a joke!
They're out of control, Luca!
Ugh... Let's just get on with the main event, yeah?
Thank-you. Take it away Tigs!
”The following contest is for the Hart Championship and will take place inside of a steel cage! To win, you must gain a pinfall, submission, or escape the cage! Introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts, the challenger, BARNEY GREEN!”
"Like A Prayer" by Madonna starts to play through out the arena as fans start to cheer slightly. A black Jeep, driven by John Lauriniaits, appears at the top of the ramp slowly driving forward as we see Barney Green standing in the back waving the Irish Flag. The jeep stops and Green leaps out of it. He waves the flag one last time and places it back into the Jeep. He walks down the ramp and high fives a couple fans. He enters the ring and waits in the corner as the music fades.
”And the Champion, from Las Vegas Nevada, ROOOBERT MAAAAAAIN!!!”
As "Broken Dreams" by Shaman's Harvest begins we watch as Robert "The Omega" Main slowly rises up from the depths of the stage, his back turned to the ring as he rolls his shoulders.
Following Tig's introduction, he turns as the music begins to rise, and after the lyrics "I make them for you" hit the speakers, just as the sting hits, he raises his arms to the sky, turning around slowly to face the ring! He then hops off the small platform, and begins to walk to the ring, avoiding the outstretched hands of the fans in disgust along the way. Once Robert reaches the apron, he eyes those in the ring, smirks, then ascends the stairs to his corner and steps between the ropes exuding confidence.
DING DING DING!!!
The two men circle the ring and then come together in the middle, tying each other up. As they struggle against one another for leverage, Main eventually manages to work a wrist lock, twisting it around behind Greens back before shoving him forward into the ropes. Green spins and bounces off of them, returning toward Main at full speed, leaping into the air only to have Main swat away the attempted crossbody. Green crashes to the mat awkwardly but rolls out of the way of a follow up elbow drop from Main, leaving him to slam to the mat in an uncomfortable position as well. Both men quickly get back up to their feet, readying themselves for a fight and drawing a pleased reaction from the crowd for the quick pace early on.
Not stopping there both men take off towards the ropes in opposite direction and then charge back at each other on the rebound, connecting with simultaneous clotheslines, bringing each other down violently, crashing against the canvas as the crowd winces at the sight. Immediately the crowd begins to clap, slowly at first and picking up pace, encouraging the two competitors to get back to their feet. Green is first but only by half a second and even though he’s first to his feet he eats a solid left hand from Main before responding with a boot to Main’s stomach and a neck breaker right after. Quickly, he flips his body over and hooks Main’s leg in a pinning attempt.
ONE
TWO
Main kicks out before the two count can hit the mat. Dragging Main back up to his feet, Green stands up him straight with a knife edge chop and then whips him into the corner, following closely behind and delivering a perfect european uppercut to Main. As Green backs off, Main stumbles out of the corner, catching another boot to the abdomen as Green wraps his arm around Main’s neck, looking for a DDT. Robert, thinking quickly, counters by stopping his opponents momentum and then placing his hand against Barney’s abdomen, pushing him up into the air and over with a back body drop. Separation is the first thing on Main’s mind as Green hits the mat, stumbling forward across to the opposite corner where he slouches against the turnbuckle pads to get some rest in the early going.
Green pushes himself back up to his feet, holding his back gingerly as he does so. Racing out of the corner, Main nears his opponent and then finds himself flying downward, face first toward the mat as Green side stepped him and snuck in a perfect drop toe hold. Green transitions into a front face lock, holding the maneuver to regain some of his own footing and catch his breath. Slowly, Main works his way up to his hands and knees, but Green keeps the hold locked in. As Main continues to work further up to a standing position, Green drives knees into Main’s chest before snapping off a quick snap suplex. Clutching his back, Main is left vulnerable as Green pops back up and walks back over to him, pulling him up back up and sending him into the ropes. As Main rebounds Green goes for a hip toss but Robert stops it, swings around the front of his opponent, and then takes Green down to the mat with a hip toss of his own.
Green is back to his feet quickly, swinging a hard right hand at Main’s temple but Main steps inside the strike and catches Green around the waist, lifting him up and driving him down to the mat with a belly to belly suplex. Quickly, Main hooks the leg and presses down with his forearm against Green’s collarbone as the referee slides in.
ONE
TWO
KICKOUT!!!
Firing out of the pinning attempt, Green climbs back to his feet and turns into a waiting Robert Main, who quickly scoops him up and plants him back down to the mat with a power slam. As Green is once again left in a position of trying to recover and defend, Main transitions up and latches on to Greens right arm, sweeping his legs across Green’s chest and locking in an armbar. Crying out in pain, Green fights against the submission hold as Main continues to yank on his opponents arm, trying to inflict as much pain as humanly possible. Collecting himself in the situation, in spite of the sharp pain in his right arm, Green manages to work his body around on the canvas and eventually get his leg hooked over the bottom rope where the referee quickly steps in and forces Main to let the hold go.
”BULLSHIT REF THERE’S NO ROPE BREAK IN A CAGE MATCH!”
”The official tonight is John Bihl, he’s a loose cannon who plays by his own rules.”
Green pulls himself back up to his feet and steadies himself against the incoming onslaught from Main. Quickly, Green avoids two hard strikes and swings around behind Main, locking in a sleeper hold. Main is caught in the middle of the ring with nowhere to go. Moments pass and he slowly begins to fade, dropping down to one knee as his arms slowly stop fighting against the hold. In a last ditch effort, Main pushes himself back up to a standing position and pushes himself, and Green, backwards into the corner. The impact against the turnbuckle pads give him the separation that he needs for a moment but Green is quick to lock it back in again.
”Those are big arms to have wrapped around your windpipe. Main is definitely in trouble here.”
”Maybe he should just grab the ropes Pip. It’s not like cage matches are no holds barred or anything.”
Trying to work his way out of it again, Main steps forward to the center of the ring and then once more drives Green back into the turnbuckle pads. This time it doesn’t cause Green to let go, though, and Main once more finds himself in dire straits as the lack of oxygen causes him to begin to fade once more. Just as it looks like all hope is lost for him, though, he manages to lean forward and use Green’s weight against him, causing him to slide up Main’s back and over the top of his head, flipping down to the mat. Gasping for air, Main drops to a knee himself and breathes heavily, his face regaining its natural color rather than the purplish blue it had taken on.
While Green pushes himself back up, Main backs up and waits for him to stand. As he does, Main runs at him and connects with a running lariat that sends him flipping through the air and crashing down to the mat. While he does, Main swoops around him and then slams his fist down against the canvas, letting loose a primal roar as the fans cheer him on loudly. Meanwhile, Green pushes himself back up to a knee but as he does so he never sees what’s coming next. Super Kick! The super kick connects flush and flattens Green.
Main quickly covers.
One!
Two!
Three!
Robert Main has once again defended his Hart Championship, ladies and gentlemen, in a stellar match against a hardcore legend.
I wonder how long Barney Green is going to stay retired THIS time...
Who knows... I--- Wait a minute. I'm getting something from backstage here, let's cut back before we're out of time!
JJ continues to follow Gilly and Drezdin as they continue destroying everything they walk past. Drezdin is on the chase as Gilly tries getting some space to recover... He makes his way into a public bathroom and disappears around the corner. Drezdin is not far behind him and JJ and the cameraman follow. As they go around the corner, we see Peter and Drezdin both standing side-by-side, mouths agape, staring across the room. When JJ spots what they're looking at, he turns around and sticks his head in the garbage can behind him and starts projectile vomiting.
Good GAWD!!!
The cameraman squeezes by and looks over Gilly's shoulder......
WHAT IS THAT?!
The XWF Tag Team Champions, BX3 (Sebasstian Dyke and Bilbo Brommer) are each in their own bathroom stall..... Glory hole 69ing each other....
WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW IS HE EVEN DOING THAT?!
What Luca means is, Sebasstian is suspended from the ceiling upside down like Spiderman... Which makes this whole thing possible. Both of them stop, nearly choking on each other, and stare Gilly and Drezdin down in the entrance way...
You 
know how to knock?
In a storm of rage, the Tag Team Champions attack Drezdin and Peter and the battle grows! Bilbo grabs Peter and throws him into the bathroom stall and starts beating him over the head with over hand slaps, his pointy dick still exposed and threatning Peter's face with every blow! Peter takes each shot like a champ, more concerned of not making contact with Biblo's homewrecker than anything. Drezdin is tossed into the next stall and gets a plunger to the face from Dyke while taking kicks to the stomach!
JJ finishes emptying his stomach as a squad of Colombian officers roll by! JJ motions for them and points into the bathroom and they rush in as the copyright flashes at the bottom of the screen...
It looks like we're out of time, fans! What a night! What will become of the Tag Team Champions and Gilly and Drezdin?!
I don't know, Pip... But I can't wait until next week!!! We're going to Peru, baby!
Good night fans!
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