I think it's important to set the scene for what took place in my bedroom, my safe space, just the other night. Cameras can't do it justice. Maybe I can't do it justice. I'll try.
When I heard his voice, I knew exactly who it was, even though I tried to convince myself I was wrong. It shouldn't have been possible for him to be sitting there like that, in an arm chair I had never owned much less installed in my own bedroom. Like a girl like Roxy Cotton would have some overstuffed relic like that in her fancy bedroom, right? As if. It shouldn't have been possible for him to be in that chair, smoking that cigar, or drinking that snifter of brandy... but I think by now everyone knows that what shouldn't be possible is only a slight inconvenience to Doctor Louis D'Ville.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked him, trying my damnedest not to let my voice crack. I failed.
"I came to say hello, Mister Loverboy," he replied with a voice like a whisper from behind my head, though he was sitting directly in front of me. "It's been much too long, don't you think?"
"Not at all." I was starting to feel a little more blood in my fingers, and some bass had made its way back into my voice. My heart must have started beating again around then. "I was just thinking not long ago, actually, how nice it was to not have to popping up all the time like you used to. But, all good things..."
"Yes, of course. Pity. I was hoping you'd missed me as much as I'd missed you. Has my love gone unrequited?"
"What do you want, D'Ville? This isn't the XWF offices, this is my home. I didn't invite you here."
"Oh, don't be silly. You're thinking of the wrong movies, Mister Loverboy. I go wherever I need to go."
"No one needs you here."
"I disagree."
He said it with a finality, like closing a book at the end of a bedtime story. There was no room for argument after a statement like that, and he and I instead filled the air with eye contact so fierce you could hang your clothes from it. He sipped his liquor, which swirled in his glass even when he wasn't moving it. The liquid had a redder hue than you'd expect, but who knows where the doctor gets his libations, after all?
I blinked first. Turned away. I realized then that what had started as my bedroom in Malibu was certainly no longer that anymore. The walls were different, pulsing with the rhythm of some giant heartbeat. The light was everywhere, but it was blotted like a handkerchief covering a bedside lamp. And it was uncomfortably warm. For a second I thought the wildfires that had been scarring up the California scenery like a toddler taking a crayon to his mother's new wallpaper had found their way to the Pink Palisades. Then I figured out that I was nowhere near Malibu.
"Doc, I-"
"Mister Loverboy, let me just say what needs to be said and then I will leave you to slide between the sheets with your arm candy. You don't mind, do you?"
"No."
"Excellent! Now... as you know, you and I had a deal at one point. An agreement, if you will. Some might have considered it a contract. I fulfilled my end of that bargain, Mister Loverboy, but as of today you are very, very behind I your payments."
"Listen, D'Ville... I beat you. I-"
"Not finished."
"Fine. Go on."
"Thank you, I shall. You see, it isn't common for someone like myself to allow anyone's account to go into arrears. It simply isn't good for the bottom line, you understand? I gave you what you needed, did I not?"
I thought of her, then, and absently reached behind me where her sleeping form should have been wrapped in satin on a comfortable bed. Of course, there was nothing there but more heat, but I knew what he was referring to. Roxy was alive and well because I had come to Doctor D'Ville and asked him for help. I knew the price for his services, which is why I had fought for so long to stay out of his office, but desperate times...
"Ah, good, I see you remember that I did. Wonderful. Now... think, Mister Loverboy. Think about how much she means to you. Think about what you were willing to part with to keep her safe and close by. Think about all the money in the world, and if even that would have been enough to pay for a gift such as that which I gave to you. Would it have been sufficient?"
"No, not at all. You know that."
"Indeed. Indeed I do, Mister Loverboy, which is why I must say I am quite disappointed that I had to make this inquiry tonight. As I do know how much you value the services rendered, I am left to wonder if the lack of payment thus far is in fact some form of disrespect?"
I didn't notice him getting closer to me. Hell, I hadn't even him stand up from the arm chair, but there he was, nose to nose with me. I remembered his smell, like burnt leather. I wanted to push my chest out into his. I wanted to stare him down and let him know I wasn't afraid. This was just another man after all. A man I'd pinned inside the ring to take the Universal Title when nobody else could even scratch his surface. But I was kidding myself. I shrunk like a wilting plant in dry potting soil, because I knew better. I knew he wasn't ever just a man.
"No, no... not at all, Doc... I just... I mean... I don't know... the time goes by so fast, you know? I didn't realize..."
"Yes. Yes of course. Time. The fire in which we all burn, isn't that what they say? But, alas, the time has come and gone. The agreement has been broken, whether accidentally or not, and you have given me no choice but to collect."
I don't know what emboldened me then. It wasn't courage, that I know for sure. It wasn't panic either, though. No, what I felt more than anything when I looked into D'Ville's eyes at that moment was anger. Anger at him for treating my life like currency. Angry at myself for allowing him to. The rage bubbled up in my throat like water churning beneath the surface of a geyser, ready to spew out of me in some sort of verbal exorcism. But again, I found myself thinking of her. Of the reason she was still here. And I knew that I had no reason to be angry, because if the scene had repeated itself I would have made the same transaction without hesitation. Now all I could do was negotiate... but the doctor drives a hard bargain.
"Listen, I'm... I'm just not ready. I have too much to do, dude. You know? I have Roxy to look after..."
"Her health and happiness is already paid for, my friend. You need not worry about the girl."
"I have the XWF, and things here are hotter than ever. It's more than just a job, man, it's a responsibility. A marriage I vowed myself to when I stepped into that office of mine... I have my daughter..."
"Bobbi, is it?"
"Yes, Bobbi. I'm all she has left, Doc. You know the way her mother died."
"I do. The needle knows no mercy, Mister Loverboy."
"God damn right it doesn't. But things are so hard for her as it is, man... being in transition after the life she lived already. The way she grew up with nobody on her side. I wasn't there, man, I wish I had been, but it just... you know?"
"I do know. I know that you were unaware of your child's existence for much of her life, before she was a she at all. When she was your son."
"Yeah, I mean, you see how I can't just go now and leave her to deal with my debts after having already lost her mom and having to deal with society and its endless hate and judgment every single day. I need to be here for her. To give her moving forward what I couldn't be there to give her back then."
He leaned into me then. I felt a grip on my upper arm that you could have easily convinced me was a cattle brand searing into my skin, and his acrid breath, like a leaking battery, licked at the tip of my nose and made my eyes water.
"Mister Loverboy, I find your spirit commendable. Your heart... as always... is in the right place. You want to be there for your child?"
"More than anything."
"And in fact you would GIVE anything just to be there... by her side... for the rest of her life?"
"Yes. Without a doubt. I would sacrifice anything for that."
He smiled. His teeth were straight and clean but... there were too many.
"A perfect choice of words, my old friend. I will consider this a deferred payment plan. A forbearance, if you will."
I was stunned. I couldn't believe my ears. Compassion? Sympathy? From D'Ville? I must have convinced myself of it because before I knew what was happening I was smiling along with him and my hand was pumping up and down in a firm handshake, pressed against a palm like a tombtone.
"Doc... thank you... thank you so much, I swear, I'm not reneging on what we agreed on, I promise. I'll pay you in full, just... just not yet."
"I agree to your request, Mister Loverboy. But please... don't thank me yet."
And that was that. He was gone. The sweat on my skin that had been turning into jelly like an egg frying in a pan was suddenly making me shiver as the night air blew in from my open bedroom window. My hair dried in the cool breeze and I heard a contented sigh from behind me. I turned and looked, and there was Roxy, sleeping like a baby. The moonlight made her glow, and when she rolled over her arm stretched out to me, even in sleep. I went to her. I held her hand in mine, and I spent the last happy minutes of my life smiling down on the best investment I'd ever made.
I know there was a voice on the other end of the line, but I'll never be able to remember the sound of it. If it was a man or a woman. I don't remember anything other than the things the voice told me before my mind cracked down the middle like a hot coffee mug set in a freezer.
"Bobbi? Are you sure?"
More words then. Apologies. A voice laden with empathy that I know must have been heartfelt, but were lost on dead ears.
"How did she... but when... where?"
I think it was then that I put my free hand over the one holding the phone to my ear. The way it shook I could barely make out what the forgotten voice was saying to me.
"Yes... yes, I'll... I'll be right there. Thank you."
And the phone fell from my hand, hitting the carpeted floor with a muted thud. Why did I thank them? I wanted to scream at them. I wanted to tell them they were wrong, that it was somebody else's daughter. That it couldn't be mine. I wanted to rip the voice from inside the phone and stomp it into the ground. I wanted to burn everything down. But I thanked them instead. I thanked them, and I thanked D'Ville.
Why?
Why didn't I know any better?
I didn't make another sound, nor did I retrieve my cell phone from the shag carpeting under the bed where it had come to rest. I stood and walked from the room and didn't think twice about leaving Roxy there to sleep alone.
I left my house never expecting to come home.
In a dark room sits a small square folding table. A card table. From off screen, "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane walks in with a folding chair I his hand. He stops behind the table, unfolds the chair, and sets it down. Then he sits and places his hands palms down on the table top.
"I've got a little time to spare, James, so I thought I might take a quick opportunity to say hello."
He waves and curls his mouth into a friendly smirk, as if introducing a kids' show.
"I've been thinking a lot lately, dude. It's not often that I find the time to do that, what with running a multi-million dollar enterprise and all... but sometimes you have to take a little time for yourself, you know? I made a little Zen time and dedicated it to you. You and me, we might have more in common than I thought. I know! I know, trust me I get it... 'how in the fuck do I have anything in common with some fruitcake with gay hair and a wardrobe like a pride parade' right? That was my first thought when the idea occurred to me... but I think I'm onto something. See, I'm familiar with your little god complex. I know a thing or two about megalomania. There was a time a few years back when I probably would have run around calling myself the GOAT to anyone who hadn't already muted my tweets as a direct result of it. I'm pretty sure if I could have found an artist who met my demanding specs back then, I'd have a twenty-foot tall golden statue of myself somewhere in my own home right now. I'm sure as I'm recording this that you and Aidan are off somewhere interviewing portrait artists in tandem fashion like two daddies looking for a dog walker for their rescue poodle. Don't do it, dude. It isn't worth it! Someday, when you mature a little, you'll see that there's more to life than screaming I'M THE BEST into the sky, because no one is actually listening anymore. They might not ever have been."
Vinnie smiles again in pause, listening as I'M THE BEST reverberates and echoes through the room.
"Oh, I know, there are plenty of people still willing to promote you as the second coming. You've got a nice little run going over there in WWH. Undefeated, right? Good. The better you do out there the better it is for me, since as you know the XWF is still your contracted home company. What, you didn't know? Dude... it's all right there in the bylaws you signed onto back when I brought you back into this business last year. Any place you wrestle, regardless of what they pay you, owes an agent's fee right into the coffers of the XWF on a sliding success scale. So, truly, keep main eventing anywhere you choose, it's a win-win situation. And tell Miss Rikar to please stop requesting W-9 forms... I already sent her one! I don't mean to stomp all over Peter's gimmick and digress all over the place, but I do think it's relevant to my larger point... James, there was a time when this company that I now own and operate, the X-Treme Wrestling Federation, defined itself by you. XWF WAS James Raven. They plastered your face on ever billboard, carved your name in stone, and defined how great they were by how great you made them. The problem there though, dude, is there was no reciprocity. You never gave back what they gave to you. I touched on it a little bit before, but it bears repeating, for those in the audience who might be slow on the uptake (Hi Drezdin, love you, dude). So, one more time for the Puzzle Piece kids – James Raven abandoned the XWF when it needed him the most. And sure... maybe you could say they helped him out the door. I don't know, I wasn't here then. None of you were. But the records I have access to never had James blacklisted. In fact, as far as I could see, there was plenty of opportunity for Raven to keep his spot here rather than turn his nose up and bolt. There were even opportunities for his old buddies like Joe Page and Bigg Rigg. Aidan Collins was here in 2014 and was handed every opportunity to succeed. You can't tell me, dude, that you weren't gone by your own volition. It's okay, though. You folded. We kept dealing. In fact..."
Vinnie reaches behind his chair and retrieves a small paper box about the size of the palm of his hand. He opens a flap with his thumb and pulls out the contents: a deck of standard playing cards adorned with pink and purple hearts on the backs.
"I love a good prop gag, I don't know about you guys."
Vinnie dumps the cards into his opposite palm, then discards the box and starts to split and shuffle the cards. After a quick bridge, Vinnie pulls out two cards, lying them face down on his little table, and then sifts through the pile until he finds one specific card.
"There we go. Fits him."
Setting the rest of the deck off to one side, Vinnie holds up a third card with its face to the camera. The ace of spades.
"We're gonna play a quick game, James, and I'm sure you're familiar with the way it works. Considering your low-country Canadian roots, I assume your daddy hustled marks for booze at every truck stop across the Great White North while your mother brought in grocery money as a lot lizard. Three card monte. A little 'find the lady,' if you will, but I'm gonna ask you to look for this ace instead, dude. To me, nothing represents what you were to the XWF ten years ago than the highest-ranking card in the deck. So. Keep your eyes on the prize, James, and let's see where you go, shall we? All you kids at home can play along too, just don't try any dangerous stunts. Are you ready?"
The camera tilts up and down a little in a nod.
"Not you, Chad. Jesus. Just hold the camera."
"Sorry."
"Shut UP, dude! Ugh. Anyway. Remember, this ace of spades is the one you want to find."
Vinnie slide the ace between his fingers, creasing it vertically down its center so that it's tented. He sets the card facing down on the center of the table, two thirds of a triangle with the value side ensconced from view.
"Keep your eyes on him, dude."
Vinnie repeats the process of creasing the other two cards, then setting one on either side of the ace so they are in a neat row of three, all looking identical. Slowly, Vinnie starts to change the positions of the cards, moving the center out, then back in. Switching the ends. Changing the sequence. The center card is fairly easy to track as he moves his hands at a casual pace, measuring his every movement. Finally, he stops and flips the third card over, showing the ace.
"See? Not hard, right? James made his way from gold to silver, no big deal. That might have been what started his little temper tantrum back then, who knows? Maybe the spotlight got a little crowded and James had to play a little second chair for once. Still, we've all been there. Hell, dude, I was nowhere near that spotlight for years! I'm sure someone as important and confident as James Raven wouldn't have seen it as a slight or an insult. Business is business, after all, and no one nowadays knows that better than James Raven. Hell, all I had to do to get him to suddenly give a damn about wrestling and the XWF again was to pony up enough cash to cover up his wounded pride. I'm not saying James Raven can be bought, though, dude. There's no need to say it. I did it. In fact, I proved it just a few weeks ago once again when James Raven decided to get too big for his britches and start swinging punches outside of his weight class. Me? You want ME in the ring? Kid, that was a mistake. But I get it. You want the fame and the money that goes along with it. You're willing to do whatever it takes, even if it means making a mockery of yourself to cash that check. Why do you think I put us in that aviary, James? Because it's scary? Because wrestling fans like heavy handed allegories like 'hey that guy's name is Raven, let's put him in there with some birds?' They do, but that's not why. I did it to show you I can. I did it to show the world that if I tell James Raven to put on a little pink dress and tap dance for his daddy, he'll do it if the price is right. I built you a dollhouse, James, and now I want to play with my toys. Now... back to the game."
Vinnie goes back to the cards, this time moving quicker. His hands cross over one another I rapid rhythm, swapping cards from one place to the next. The ace moves from right to center to left to center to right again before landing on the left. Probably.
"The left?"
Vinnie flips the left card over, revealing the ace once more.
"Ah, nice. Good job. Raven's dropped another step on the medal podium to bronze, huh? Why do you think this keeps happening? He's a handsome guy, right? Talented? Sure, he might have the physique of a legal sized envelope and a personality like a school shooting, but he WAS the man back in 2007. Can't take that away from him, and I wouldn't even try. What I CAN take away, though, is any sort of silly ass notion that James Raven was the man in 2017. He was SUPPOSED to be, sure, that's what I bought and paid for after all... but what did he deliver, really? A loss to the Kings? I could have done that on my own. Getting his ass handed to him by Chris Chaos? That has to sting. I wouldn't have any idea what that feels like, that's for sure. And sure, every dog has his day and the sun shines on his ass from time to time... he won the big gold. Kudos, I guess. He may have won it from the first openly transgendered Universal Champion in XWF history... I assume that's the case, anyway... Aidan never won it, did he? Keep it in the closet, Blizz. He won it, though, and he walked around with it not like the honor that it truly is, having been the same title that greats before him and after him have worn... no, James Raven wore that Universal Title belt like it was just another shitty pair of khakis from his depressing wardrobe. Like it was OWED to him. I have to admit, dude, that rubbed me the wrong way a little bit. I broke my back for that belt, literally. I spent time in a coma just to get my spot. I worked my ass off from the bottom rung until I was standing on top of the crowd, dude. I didn't take a single, solitary second of my record-setting title reign for granted. I even did what James Raven apparently could not do... I defended that title successfully against Robbie Bourbon. Oh, I know, I know, James... you just weren't feeling it, right? You had already mentally moved on to bigger and better things, blah blah blah. No. You and me both know that's a pile of shit. You spent a decade crying over the spilled milk that your XWF legacy had become, and you expect me or anyone with more than two brain cells (hi again Drez, stay with me buddy) to think that you just suddenly stopped caring the day you needed to step up and cement that legacy? Please, dude. I was born at night, but it wasn't last night. You flopped. You went limp like your name was Shane and no one was willing to shit on your chest. And then? Tail feathers. Not a chirp from the raven on his way back out the door, pretending he left on his own terms again. What a crock. Oh, shit, the game. I forgot. This time, pay really close attention. This is the one that matters."
Vinnie laces his fingers together and flexes them outward, cracking his knuckles with a sound like a break in billiards. He wiggles his fingers over the three cards like a puppeteer making his marionettes dance, then grabs the ends cards in a flurry of motion. His hands become a blur. Cards switch and return so quickly they look like a stop motion film. Soon the cards themselves are indistinguishable from one another, and after a few seconds more of speedy fury Vinnie brings his hands to a rest, placing them on either side of the three cards once more.
"So which one is it James? Are you back in third place?"
Vinnie lifts his hand and motions toward the leftmost card.
"Are you top two?"
He repeats the gesture towards the right.
"Or are you second to none? Are you back in the saddle once more, James? Are you going for the gold?"
He points to the card in the center.
"Well? We're all waiting. What's it going to be? Aren't you the GOAT like you say? The PEOPLE'S goat, in fact? Like you won the popular vote in your own mind? Sounds familiar, right? Well, let's just put that little conspiracy theory to bed once and for all, how about that? No. You aren't the GOAT. The greatest of all time, James? ALL time? Really? I'll give you credit where credit is due, dude... you were the greatest of A time, but not THIS time. I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt, my friend, because of one simple, verifiable fact."
Vinnie then grabs the cards, slapping them face side up onto the table with authority one by one until all three sit there in a row on their backs. The ace is gone. Each card shows the same image – Vinnie Lane smiling with a heart floating next to his blonde-coiffed head. King, King, King.
"If this were Vegas, that would be a jackpot, but here today it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy. James Raven, you aren't the greatest of all time because of one reason and one reason only. Because Vinnie Lane exists. So do the world a favor, James, and let's put this on the record. Show up in Cairo. Come to Turning Point for the match you demanded. Put your knee pads on. Kiss the fucking ring. Then fly the coop again – the one thing you've been truly better at than anyone else. Then and only then can we finally answer the question... James Raven?"
Vinnie smiles and winks.
"Nevermore."
Vinnie swipes his hand across the table, and the cards fly away. He stands up and walks of screen as the scene fades to black... feathers.
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
The following 7 users Like Vincent Lane's post:
"Loverboy" - Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road -->
![[Image: AXrj9VV.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/AXrj9VV.gif)
and no one was willing to shit on your chest. And then? Tail feathers. Not a chirp from the raven on his way back out the door, pretending he left on his own terms again. What a crock. Oh, shit, the game. I forgot. This time, pay really close attention. This is the one that matters." ![[Image: Gz87KnQ.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/Gz87KnQ.jpg)
