"It looks like we're getting a new television champion on Savage. It's either going to be me or John Holliday, and I think I know who the fans think it'll be. Yeah, it's John, the fans want John to win, I'm not delusional. I know the fans don't want to cheer for a dude with a lizard as their champion. Admittedly, they'd probably cheer for me slightly before cheering for Jason Jordan, or Roman Reigns. That's not really a high light, though. Unless you're Jason Jordan, or Roman Reigns, then you're probably watching this, hoping I win so they can copy my style. I'm coming off of a loss to Scully, and an elimination at the War Games, and if Vincent put out his list of title contenders this week, I probably wouldn't be on it. I get it, but the fact is that I am right now, and I called out my shot. I don't care if they cheer or think I belong here, I'm going to fight and prove I do. I'ma get back on my grind, and get this title around my waist, Mike can use the ego boost.

Kitt, Joh, I hope you're ready for a fight, because you're getting it. I'm going to be working out hard, sleeping well, eating right, and poop a solid five times between now and then, just to make sure I'm in a good enough shape to take the title. Because that's the plan, take the title away from Kitt Kennedy. I don't want to take it because he's a bad guy, I guess he could be a nice guy, I don't really know. I have no real animosity towards him, but he doesn't need to hold the title anymore. He had a light weight fight, which is entirely unusual for Neville, and then he immediately decides to take a week off of defending it, because he thinks he's earned it. Fuck outta here with that Brock Lesnar bullshit. You're barely worthy of being called a champion, based on that alone.

Can we talk about how you're going to elevate the show when you take a fucking vacation as soon as you earn yourself a spot as a main eventer? You're elevating a wrestling show by showing us vacation videos? Not even a cool video where you're fighting giant squids or anything, just some piece of dog shit working out and talking smack about how great you are, and how bad the rest of us are. We get it, you're full of yourself, and you want us to be as well. Problem is, that you're just not measuring up, not at all. Maybe you can salvage this thing you're trying to do, and make it work, but I don't have high hopes. Hell, I don't even have high hopes that you'll watch this video and respond to it, because I don't have high hopes for you. I have less faith in you than I do in myself, which I guess is kind of sad. We'll see on Saturday if you measure up, but like I said, I don't have high hopes.

John, I have slightly higher hopes for you than I do Kitt, but not by much. Sadly, more hope for you than I do anyone else in the match, so go you? Look, you've gotta get your head in the game and quit pretending to be some sort of werewolf doctor or whatever it is you do if you wanna win. If you don't wanna win, then I guess keep doing you, boo boo. Either you're gonna get your shit together and win the belt, or I'll have to take the title, I don't mind. Just so you know, I do have a win over Joinny Moist on my record, something I know you couldn't muster. Like Chelsea Manning is fond of saying, #Wegotthis"

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It's a nice and dark night outside, no rain, or snow, just a nice warm winter night. The stars are bright and shiny, the moon is huge, I can almost see the cheese on it. Mike, Pickles, Bigsby, and I are walking along trying to get some exercise in preparation for my match on Saturday. There's a guy selling hot dogs in the park we're strolling through. Pickles gestures to the monger as if to ask if I'd like one, but I silently shake my head, no more meat for me. I've decided to go vegetarian for a while well I get in shape. Bigsby is taking a poop, and we're stuck waiting for him to finish while also trying to avoid making eye contact with the monger who noticed Pickles' gesture towards him.

The dog must be constipated or something, because his poop is coming super slow, and I'm getting rather frustrated at this. I whistle and make that tch noise that the dog whisperer makes, trying to get the dog to understand that we need to move on. I have another mile to walk before I can go to bed, and I'm getting sleepy. Damn dog finally drops a deuce and we move on. Clouds start moving into the sky, and Pickles gets nervous, so he decides to take Bigsby and Mike back home while I continue on my walk. I decide to pop headphones in and go for a jog instead of a slow walk. Dead Prez is the soundtrack for the night, which makes the jog feel nice and well paced. Luckily, aside from the hot dog monger, there's no one else around in the park, so I can jog on in peace.

I'm circling the park while listening to some solid hip hop when suddenly, a wetness begins to fall on the ground, and by extension me. It's slow falling, and light, which I guess is a positive, but it's also cold, so I have to hope that this isn't a sign that we're going to get another freak snow storm here. That would be some horrible shit, almost as horrible as I can imagine that Kitt Kennedy's parents must have felt raising him. But, I won't dwell on either of those horrible thoughts ruin my jog, because I need to be able to rise above that shit. Instead, I focus on the positives, like soon the world won't have to deal with the thought of Kitt Kennedy being a champion much longer, which is enough to make people believe in G dash D again.

That's something that makes me happy, more people believing in G dash D. The world is a sad place, and I wish it'd be better, but that requires more people to get back to the true religion of the people, Judaism. I think of this as I circle again, this time waving at the hot dog monger as I pass by. Maybe I'll come back after I get where I want to be physically, and buy a few of his hot dogs, I won't eat them because they're not Kosher, but I'll buy them and hand them to people. The world could use more people doing things of that nature, to be honest. That's my last thought before something hits me in the head, and knocks me down. Suddenly, I'm surrounded by darkness.