"Well, it looks like they had to change the teams at War Games, for some reason. Instead of Chasm the Unknown Soldiers somehow how have Scully, the former Universal Champion that couldn't even handle his dick properly when we were facing each other. He pissed and moaned about me using my dream match against Finn at that point, but now he wants to be interjected late to the party in another one of my matches. I guess he just can't get enough of me. Who can blame the guy? His big claim to fame is losing his universal championship in less time than it takes Robbie Bourbon to break a diet, or Peter Gilmour to hit on the every girl who walks by him. And yet, he thinks he's worthy of being mentioned in the same breath as me, or Erik Black? Fuck that guy. Watch his dumbass forget he's got a match this week and stumble into the arena in a rush 3 minutes before showtime, only to get knocked on his ass and sent back to England crying like his kid. Fuck out of here with that shit, and fuck you Scully.

Then they brought in James Raven to replace Unknown Soldier. Which, I guess is cool, because he lost his title to Robbie Bourbon, and is still obsessed with the idea of Robbie. So much so that instead of focusing on who's facing him at War Games, he's focusing on the Apex vs the Mother Fuckers. Yeah, I get that he's apparently trying to be their guest ref, because you're so in love with Robbie Bourbon that you can't do anything in life without thinking of that time Robbie blew his diabetic load right into the back of your throat, and denied you the chance to taste it. I get it, being denied is hard, but you've got to figure out how you can move on. You need to do this, to stop obsessing over them and focus up. Because if you don't? Well, when you don't, I'll be standing there to sock you right in the jaw, and then Erik will take over as I move onto someone else. Someone who's actually worth a goddamn, so clearly not you. You're washed up, you're passed your prime, you're a chump. A worthless over the hill crybaby who can't forgive his dad, and likes to cry about shit and stomp around like a child. Let's face it, the highlight of your career lately is losing to Robbie.

Losing to Robbie was the exact thing you needed to let you know it's time to move on. Which, clearly you haven't figured out how to do. I guess losing to me and my team will help you. Either that or you're going to have to start going to therapy, cause baby, you need it. Fuck you, and fuck your bullshit obsession. You need Jesus, mother fucker. More than Unknown Soldier, and that dude eats babies. Seriously, fuck off. I'm fucking tired of you.

And you McBride. Be original, for once in your life. Stop playing your bullshit games, and get a real life, stop ripping off of movies and shit. I'm tired of watching your stuff."

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Something's been bugging me for the last few weeks, this feeling of emptiness. It's like I wasn't complete, or whole. I think it has to do with me not remembering who I am under all of this crap. Well, I've been working hard on this, and I know who I am. I'm sitting in a room, thinking about this, and it feels good to have an idea who I am. The room is dark, and poorly lit, but at least it feels like home. Or, as close to home as I've been able to make it. Pickles isn't returning my calls, but he will when I announce this. So, I decide now is the time to announce it, Steve Sayors is in here with me, he's been looking at me, with the lights low, trying to figure out what I'm about. The couch I'm on is incredibly uncomfortable, but it helps hide the fact that I'm nervous. He pauses, and takes a drink from the glass in his hand, before setting it down calmly.

"What do you want, Ricardo."

"That's just it, Steve. I'm not Ricardo. I called you here to tell you who I am. Now, turn on the light."

He does as he's told, and walks over to turn on the light. I blink a few times, and wait for him to take a seat. He slowly lowers himself, before taking his drink back in his hand.

"Wait to take another drink until I take off my mask."

He sets his drink down on the table beside him, allowing me to take my helmet off.

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His jaw drops to the floor.

"Frodo?"

"You're goddamn right it's me. Frodo mother fucking Smackins, the Big Dick Playa. Run and tell everyone, the biggest Dick in the game is back, and he's ready to fuck."