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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » WAR GAMES 2017 RP BOARD
A Public Service Announcement
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R.L. Edgar Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
12-16-2017, 10:26 AM



-Da mutherfuckin WarGames intro-

PROMO

Hello XWF Universe.

It's been a while, hasn't it?

So for those of you who've never known me, or never cared to remember- won't you allow me to reintroduce myself...

I'm R.L. Edgar: a prolific failure in most things relevant to anything. Failed son, student, athlete, husband and worst of all father.

My story discloses in the most general of ways what not to do with the limited time we're all granted to the keys of the universe- like abusing mind and mood altering substance in early adolescence, or getting wrapped up into an unorganized-organized crime ring of meth junkies, or having unprotected sexual encounters with twenty plus women or things resembling women by the age of twenty.

All in all- I'm just a colossal fuck up. A man who has staggered from the intoxicants of earthly virtue and goodness, only to find myself slurping shit filled sewer water so steadily it'd make Steve Bannon look at me sideways.

So now that my attempt of honesty- a.k.a polishing my own turd- is out of the way lets move on to some substance shall we? Because next Saturday, XWF WarGames- all of that aforementioned bullshit changes- once and for all.

Don't believe me to be capable?

Chuckling a bit at that claim?

Dust off your XWF history books bitches and what you'll find in the limited notations on the man known as R.L. Edgar is that I'm every bit as capable of pulling off the unexpected as a phony business man/reality T.V. star is at becoming President of the United States.

And sure- while my current ceiling was capped in my debut against Bearded War Pig where I became number one contender to the Television Title- where I then turned around and lost to something named Chasm twice and then blew my title shot; believe you me- I have as good a shot of making you coo-awe as anyone in what will undoubtedly be the greatest WarGames PPV ever broadcasted.

It's easy to say things like what I'm telling you and then turn around and flop like some two-bit chump, but that ain't gunna happen. Frankly, I'm so sick and fucking tired of living in mediocrity, I feel, if I have to live another second in this shit, I'm going to just do myself in once and for all.

But I've got too much on the line for that shit, my daughter Lydia, my son Lewyn... I refuse to let them see their father in this condition any longer. My back pinned against the wall, overweight and in the worst shape of my life while coming off a drinking bender that would leave Bill Wilson rolling over in his grave- I'm here to declare to the elite team of combatants assembled by our team captain, Grande Ricardo- and to the entire XWF- R.L. Edgar is here to do more than fuck up his own life any further. Nah, nah, bitches...

I'm here to fucking win!

This spells baaaaaaaaad news for those of you who will be lining up opposite of the Dragon Pals at WarGames- and honestly I think it's all too fitting. Because here we'll have one team comprised of championship pedigree in Soldier, Chaos and McBride- oh- and the Courtney Love band who- as I mentioned before- has beaten me twice, while the Dragon Pals will feature a team of relatively unknown soldiers who are ready to prove to the world that we have what it takes to step up to the plate.

I have faith in my team. When Grande called me to let me know I had been drafted for this war, I stood up, put down my stale Pabst, and proceeded to put on my Dragon badge with pride, son. It all became crystal clear as I slapped my flabby belly just to watch it roll- this is my destiny. I'm going to roll into WarGames higher than a fucking kite from the sound of a hundred thousand roaring fans and proceed to fight every single one of you until there's nothing left of R.L. Edgar.

This is real life, this isn't some chest beating game where I attempt to look and sound all pretty. Pretend like I'm some technical master in the ring or on this mic. Hitting those ropes hurts like a motherfucker- and my hands are shaking cutting this promo. What you see is what you've got. I'm a fighter- I've been fighting my entire life and no matter the size or the skill of the opposition I stay the same, shoulders squared, head tucked, fists up- ready to beat someone's face until my knuckles rip and tare.

Just think of the odds...

I know not a single one of you believe for a second that our team has a snow balls chance in hell of taking on Unknown Soldier, or Chris Chaos- fuck even if it was only those two against the Dragon Pals we'd still be the underdogs and ya know what? I like it that way.

Because maybe, just maybe, there's some behind the scenes shit y'all didn't know about. Fuck we all heard Chaos saying this morning that he was a one man team- so maybe that isn't as cohesive as a unit as everyone thinks. If they're not- it's going to spell trouble because the Dragon Pals are tightly nitted with big ol' dragon balls swinging below. We're not scared of the Devil. We're not scared of Chris Chaos. We're not scared of McBride. And I know I'm DAMN SURE not scared of Howie Mandell even though he's beaten me twice- he just got lucky that I wasn't REALLY here up in my mind at the time.

Not a single one of us, not Erik, not Danny, Grande or myself have anything to lose in this- we're comfortable. Fuck I think we're all going to meet up for beers and broads here shortly. But what's it going to mean for Unknown Soldier or Chris Chaos that their team- which should be the odds on favorite to win the entire WarGames- might just lose in the opening round? I've got respect for those guys- they're legit bad ass nasty competitors who have bounced back from worse- but the implications would be devastating for the entire PPV.

No more fucking around, ladies. Mr. Edgar is smelling a fat ass pay day right around the corner- and I'm ready to grab that stack of hundreds and make it rain on a one legged meth whore- I'm done being tangled up and blue. R.L. Edgar is going to mangle up YOU! You Soldier, you Chaos, you McBride, you Chasm...

You ALL better wake the fuck up and smell the coffee. This is only the beginning- we're ready for war.

Time to feel the REAL.

Edgar out.

-end-

[Image: nSPgiDy.png]
-Thank you for the banner Atara Themis-


Former:
1x Hart Champion
1x Federweight Champion
April 2021 RP Of The Month Still Waters Run Deep
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(12-16-2017), "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler (12-16-2017), Drew Archyle (12-16-2017), Imperial (12-16-2017), JimCaedus (12-17-2017), Vincent Lane (12-23-2017)




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