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TheBigKahuna · (09-26-2017)

Dustin Diamondberg has finally made it into town. He is relaxing for the first time in weeks, having a moment alone away from the hectic world of busy wrestling lawyer stuff. He is in his bathing suit, a pair of trunks, nearly laying down in the indoor hotel spa. He's lit some candles, trying to really savor the mood.

The Big Kahuna's voice breaks the silence.

The Big Kahuna: DOUBLE D! You made it, make some room!

Kahuna comes barging into the spa, quickly running down the 3 steps, now waist deep in the water.

Kahuna: HOT! Hot! Whoo! Stayin loose!...So how was the flight?

Dustin Diamondberg: Jesus dude! I was...!

Diamondberg is surveying the situation and notices his candles have gone out from Kahuna's splashing. He throws his hands up, exasperated.

Kahuna: ...Oh man, I'm sorry. But my man! How was the flight? When did you get in?

Diamondberg: ...Two hours ago.

Kahuna: So you saw what Mark had to say?...Because god damn! For a while there it felt like I was talking to myself.

Diamondberg nods his head and slumps back into the spa. Kahuna makes himself comfortable, neck deep in the water himself.

Kahuna: I'm a loose motherfucker right now, you better believe it Mark. Ya see, I can get jacked up without losing my cool. I can get a nice red hot anger going without missing a beat. You on the other hand - you're illogical. Because that's what happens when you tie yourself down to a woman...Be it a wife in your case Mark, or a science experiment for our dear friend Ravenhill - whatever the hell's he's got going on there. But please... Don't worry about my focus Mark. Because we know that you're whole heart won't be in the ring tomorrow. Part of you HAS to be thinking of that poor ol' injured wife of yours. And if not you, then who? I'm sure another man would step up to the plate. I mean, it's not like her mouth is broken. Hah! Hell I bet she's a better lay inferm than half of the able-bodied women running around here...Mark, PLEASE! It's a compliment! Chill out.

But I think, even still, you've got me a little confused for someone else. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt - maybe I'm using too many big words. Let me make it even more clear to you who I am and what I'm about. You, Mark, are a thinker. I'm a do-er. You've thought about other women & threesomes? I've done them. You think you're the face of the XWF? I work 3 matches in 2 1/2 weeks. You think about holding the gold? I'm going to do it. At every turn, Kahuna here out ranks you.

And I bet you do wish Michelle could be there. Ya see...You get weaker as a married man, Mark. You don't rely on just yourself anymore. You can't leave a liability behind you. You get FEELINGS. I knew you weren't fully committed to this match, but to think your injured wife, who you couldn't even protect, will not only come to your aid -- but beat me up for you? What kind of man are you? What kind of wrestler do you think you are, not wanting to handle your own business?

But the real sad truth Mark...that you will soon have to face...is that you can be a husband or a wrestler. You won't be both. Because liabilities in life need to get left behind sometimes. She's an anchor, Mark. She's pulling you down. She can't even handle herself in the ring, how can you count on her to look out for you? She's put you in danger with how much focus you've already lost for tomorrow's match.

And that's where you're the most wrong about me, Mark...I don't underestimate or overestimate anyone else. I only know what I am capable of. I can only tell how hard that I work and prepare for my matches, not anyone else. It's a shame you haven't seen my matches. They've basically been free lessons Mark, and with all the medical bills that are sure to be piling up, I know you'd like the sound of free. Plus we all know you could use some technical know-how tune-ups in your game. I know my man has some close up footage from last week's match, right D?

Diamondberg splashes up out of the water quickly.

Diamondberg: Uhmm. WHAT? NO! I have not nor will I ever have any tapes or video device in the arena and have any sort of "bootleg" type videos of XWF matches.

Kahuna: Don't worry Mark, I'm sure we can get something for you, don't worry. But I want you to know -- because you seem worried, maybe a little whiny yourself perhaps? About this shot at the Hart Title...Look, if it's any consolation, once I've got the gold, I make it a promise to you...that you will get the first shot. You'll be my first defense! That's news breaking right here! Okay!? So listen - don't worry Mark. I'm hoping that one day you'll figure this all out someday and be a respectable wrestler. Ya know? Get your whole head in the game, out of the clouds, your other head outside of just some fluffer's mouth. Until then, I'm actually a little scared for you. I know how hard I've worked for this fight. The challenge of facing two men at once has not gone unnoticed. But I have prepared. Who knows what you've been doing. Reading old magazines in an uncomfortable hospital chair? Eating shlop from the hospital food court? Look at what she's doing to you. She's a danger, Mark. I'm not going to take responsibility for this...

Kahuna sinks below the water, his whole head now submerged. He opens his eyes, looking towards Diamondberg, under the water.

Kahuna: Jesus CHRIST DUDE! Why the fuck aren't you wearing anything?!?

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Oh, hi Mark
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