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With the help of Doctor Louis D'Ville, Theo has finally figured out who has been tracking him for the last few weeks and why. Unfortunately the news is not good and so Theo has called upon the one man that can truly get him out of the mess that John Madison has made. King Of The Ring is tomorrow and as such this matter needs to come to a close now so that Theo can finally focus on what matters most, defending the tag team titles with Doctor D'Ville

in

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EPISODE VI - The Quest For Peace - Dead Man's Chest

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The White House - Present Day

"Good morning Vlady baby it's your friend Donald J. Trump."


Seated behind the Resolute desk is Donald J. Trump, President of the United States. The desk is remarkably well kept as the only things currently on it are a telephone, a pen and Trump's shoes. The President leans back in his chair, his tie loosened and the top button of his shirt undone.


"Vat do you vat Donald?"

"Well Vlady baby..."

"I told you before, stop calling me zat. It is President Putin, or Vladimir. Only ven ve are together may you call me Vlady baby. Understood?"

"Yes. Anywho, we have a bit a problem. A yuge problem."

"Did your numbers tank again?"

"Yes but that's not what this is about. I understand you sent a Russian agent to kill a very dear dear friend of mine by the name of Theo Pryce."

"I know nothing of vhat you are speaking."

"Ok ok I picked up what you're putting down. Anyway the guy you sent to kill my friend, well he tried treating my friend very very unfairly and that didn't work out so well for him. My friend, he's one of the few people here that still likes me. I can't let you kill him I just can't. What if I sent you Donald Junior instead? He's been a real pain in my ass lately. Or O'Bannon. You can have them both."

"This man you speak of, the one you believe to be Russian, he is still alive yes?"

"That's what I said yes and you know me I'm like George Washington, I never tell a lie."

"I don't mean to lecture you on your history but I believe it vas Abraham Lincoln who said that."

"No silly goose. Abraham Lincoln carried the big stick. Anywho do we have an accord?"

"Da."

"Excellent. Excellent my friend. Hey did you get the fruit basket I sent you? It has the very best fruit we could find. It even included grapes from my vineyard and winery in Charlottsville. Well actually it's my son Eric's. I bought it years back and then gave it to him but I still run it because Eric's...how do I say this nicely? He's a bit...well frankly, he's . I have a son. God it feels so good to get that off my chest. I'm sure you know what that feels like though Vlad."

"No actually. Ve kill babies in vomb."

"Really? That sounds wonderful. We should do that here but my party would never allow it. I could sell it to my base for sure. Sell the purity angle but the other Republicans, they would never go for it."

"Da."

"Did you know I had secret cameras installed in my daughters office here at the White House so I could watch her change?"

"Vhy are you telling me dis Donald? Do you even know vhat it is you are saying?"

"Not usually."

"I must go now Donald. Have good day."

"Ok friend. See you soon."

"Hey Dad."


The camera pans up to reveal Jared Kushner, Donald's special adviser and son in law standing there.


"What have I told you before? You can't call me Dad in here. It's father or Fuhrer."

"I can't call you Fuhrer, Dad. I'm a Jew, that would be very bad for me."

"Shhhh don't say that too loud. I can't risk that leaking to my base. Anyway what do you want? I'm a very very busy man Jared as you know. Way busier than you."

"What was that you said about secret cameras?"

"What? What? I didn't say anything about secret cameras. Anyway gotta go Jared. See you at dinner.


President Trump picks up his favorite tweeting device, a black Samsung S8 and then hightails it out of his office like someone had just asked him about his tax returns.

Undisclosed Location

"Thanks Donald. Appreciate that. I'll throw a few dollars into your favorite charity just shot me an email with which one you want. I owe you one Donald."


Theo ends the call, places his phone in his pocket and then walks over towards Doctor D'Ville who for the last few minutes had been staring at Yuri Kozlov the FSB agent sent by President Putin to kill Theo.


"Everything ok my friend?"

"Yes they are. This minor inconvenience is now over and I can finally turn all my attention and energy towards our match at King of the Ring.

Which by the way Doc, do you ever get the feeling that you are talking to a wall when you address our upcoming opponents?"

"I get that feeling a lot honestly, but with Scully and Guppy it certainly seems like they really can't grasp even the faintest strand of reality."

"I guess that's to be expected from a guy who dresses up in a Batman costume and a mental midget but Jesus H. Christ this is painful.

I just said only a few days ago that no one wanted a history lesson this week and what does Scully do first chance he gets?

A history lesson.

It's a good thing this guy self identifies as a because if he didn't I'd be extremely tempted to call him one myself. And as much as I would like to say that that was the low point of Scully's most recent edition of "How to suck at 50% of my job" it wasn't.

Not.Even.Close.

You see after Scully finally decided that enough was enough and it was time for a change he launched into what can only be described as the rantings of a man losing grip with reality when he then thought it would be a good idea to start singing songs. So many songs. And if you were paying attention you could actually pinpoint the exact moment where Scully's pal Alfie had officially given up on life and was hoping that his best friend and probably his only friend would drive straight into oncoming traffic but alas Scully couldn't even manage to do that right for he is Scully, Champion of the and a failure at damn near everything he does.

Case in point Scully's idea of having a good time with his son is playing with barbie dolls. Now hear me out, I am not some conservative cuck that believes that boys need to play with trucks and GI Joes and girls have to play with Barbies. It's not like that at all. What I mean is, if your time is limited with your kid because the woman you somehow talked into accepting your seed finally woke up and realized what she was married to and bolted then you should be out doing something that makes your ex jealous. Things that make her look like the lesser of the two parents. Not sitting inside playing with dolls.

Take your kid out to the park or the mall, go buy him his favorite toy, even if it's a barbie doll. Especially if it's a Barbie doll and then teach your son all about the birds and the bees with said Barbie doll. Actually, don't do that. Scratch that. Despite the fact that Scully does have offspring, as far as we know, his son is infinitely better off learning about the Birds and the Bees from someone who doesn't need to take a pill to not be .

If there was any chance, any chance at all that Scully's kid wasn't going to grow up and be a world class screw up like his father it went out the window the moment Scully decided it would be a good idea to put on his own little production of "Guys and Dolls" with his kid there.

I actually feel bad for Scully's kid. I really do. He didn't choose his parents. None of this is his fault but needless to say this poor kid is destined for a life of misery. If Scully had any compassion at all he would drop that kid off at the nearest hospital and never look back.


"Indeed my friend. However I do have a question unrelated to that. What do we do with our friend here?"

Ending A - The "Boring" Ending

"We release him. President Trump is going to have a jet waiting at the Reno-Tahoe International Airport to take him home. In return the bounty on my head is removed."

"I suppose there is nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"Well Doc I enjoy being alive and I'd like to keep doing that for the foreseeable future so unless whatever you have to say can guarantee me whatever powers it is that allows you to be ageless then I think I'll just stick with the sure thing."

"Nothing in life is a sure thing Mr. Pryce."

"You're right Doc, you are absolutely right. But for now, this is the best I got."


Theo walks over to a metal table situated a few feet from the bound Russian. Theo grabs a glass of water and tosses it into the face of the Russian, startling him enough to wake him up. The man slowly lifts his head and looks right at Theo.


"So here's the deal Yuri. Your President and mine have made an arrangement. I am going to release you now. A car will take you to the airport where a Private Jet will be waiting to take you back to Moscow. Essentially your freedom for mine. Nod if you understand."


The man slowly nods his head at which point Theo reaches onto the table and grabs a box cutter which he then uses to cut the zip ties that were keeping the man bound to the chair. With the box cutter still in his hand Theo takes a few steps back and allows the man to slowly stand for the first time in several days.


"There are a change of clothes over there on the table and there is a shower down the hall. I will take you to it. When you are dressed and ready to go I will take you to the car. Understood?"

"Da."

"Good. Now go and take a shower. You smell rancid."


The Russian walks over towards the table, grabs the change of clothes off of it and then walks out of the room and down the hall towards the shower as the scene fades to black.


Fin.

"Indeed my friend. However I do have a question unrelated to that. What do we do with our friend here?"

Ending B - The "America First" Ending

"Well technically we are supposed to release him per the agreement that our President and his came up with but I seriously doubt Putin gives half a shit about this guy. At the end of the day he now knows that I am untouchable so long as Trump is the President. So if you have some suggestions I am happy to hear them."

"As a matter of fact I do."

"Well I'm all ears. Let's hear it."

"Well my friend. Mental manipulation is sort of my thing. What if we were to flip the script so to speak?"

"You have my attention."

"Well this man was sent to kill you by Vladimir Putin, so what if we send him back to Russia with the sole purpose of killing the President of Russia, or die trying?


Theo takes a step back somewhat stunned at the Doc's suggestion.


"Wait a second...you can do that sort of thing? Like hypnotism?"

"I prefer to think of it as mental manipulation but yes they are essentially one in the same. I can implant a suggestion into this man's mind so that when he wakes up he will be consumed with the desire to kill President Putin or die in the act. He will think about nothing else except fulfilling his mission."

"Fuck it. Do it. Let me know when it's done. In the meantime I'm going to step out and arrange for a change of clothes and a car to take him to the airport."

"Very good."


Theo walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him as the scene fades to black.


Fin.


"Indeed my friend. However I do have a question unrelated to that. What do we do with our friend here?"

Ending C - The "This Is Probably What Really Happened" Ending

"Well President Trump and President Putin essentially worked out a prisoner exchange if you will. His life for mine."

"So that's it then? We just untie him and send him on his way back to the Red State."

"Essentially yes."

"If you don't mind me asking, what stops Putin from sending someone else?"

"Well I think he now knows that as long as Trump is running the show over here he can't touch me."

"And when that eventually comes to an end as all good things do? What then?"

"Hopefully by that point Putin will have set his sights on something else."

"Very well then."

"Doc you've been a huge help. Truly, without you I would probably still be trying to figure out who this guy is and what he's after. Thank you."

"You are welcome my friend."


Theo walks over to a small metal table a few feet from the bound Russian man. He grabs a small box cutter off the table and with it cuts the zip ties affixed to the mans ankles and arms. Theo then reaches back on the table with his left hand, the box cutter still in his right and with his left hand he grabs a glass of water and tosses it at the Russian man, waking him up from his pain induced slumber.


"I've untied you. You are free to go. Walk out that door, go left and walk straight until you reach another door. Walk through it and you will be outside. A black sedan will arrive to take you to the airport. From there a plane will take you home. Your business with me is done. You can talk to your President about it when you get back to Moscow."


The Russian man shakes his head a few times trying to remove as much water from his face as possible. He then stands up and looks directly at Theo Pryce but says nothing.


BANG!!!


The unmistakable sound of a gun shot rings out as a massive red hole appears in the Russian man's chest. Blood and pulverized organs shoot out in several directions including but not limited to Theo's face as the Russian man flies backwards into the wall, dead.

Startled by what just transpired Theo just stands there and looks down at the dead man.


"Good riddance. Fucking commie cocksucker." John Madison says from the doorway of the room, smoke still emanating from the end of the shotgun he is holding in his right hand.

"What did you just do?" D'Ville yells as he reaches out and yanks the gun from Madison's hand.

"What kind of question is that? Pretty sure I just killed that Stalin loving mother fucker but hey you're the Doctor. Why don't you go over there and see if he still has a pulse." Madison laughs, the only person in the room amused at his comments.

"You fucking idiot. Do you have any idea what you've done?" Theo says as he tries to clean some of the blood off of his face.

"Am I speaking in Russian or something? I'm pretty sure I just said..."

"Fuck what you said. You just killed a guy whose life was being exchanged for my own. Which by the way, was only in jeopardy because of you in the first fucking place."

"Well why didn't you say something then Theo?"

"Because I didn't think I needed to. Because last time I checked you were upstairs in a bed recovering from a gunshot wound. Because Luca is supposed to be upstairs watching you."

"Well that's what you get for putting a coke head in charge of anything. Lesson learned. So what do we do about the body? Wanna bury him in the desert? Or put him in a container of acid? Maybe we can chop him up into a bunch of pieces and spread them out all over the state?"

"FUCK!!!" Theo screams as he just walks out of the room and completely out of the camera's view.

"What's up his ass?"

"Unbelievable." D'Viille responds as he too walks out of the room leaving Madison with the dead Russian.


Fin.

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-End Credits- John Madison Doctor Louis D'Ville Special Appearances by: Donald Trump Jared Kushner Vladimir Putin And Theo Pryce