Robbie Bourbon and Jack Cain along with James Raven, the Motherfuckers, have recently been robbed of their tag team championship opportunity after Scully clearly tapped out to a hold applied by Robbie Bourbon.

Robbie Bourbon faces Chris Chaos in a sixty minute Iron Man Match at King Of The Ring 2017.

THE IRON MOTHERFUCKER

A bright park in DC, families walking by, people sitting in benches and sipping cups of what-have-you and looking at tablets or their smart phones. The occasional person is seen with printed text on actual paper. The camera spins slowly, giving a view of the streets behind the park, and eventually another street nearby which is completely barricaded, and beyond it, the White House. Lafayette Square is beautiful and bustling, with a hoard of several different types of protesters and a steady patrol of armed secret service agents patrolling between the White House and Blair House, currently flying the Russian flag.

The camera spins back and we see Robbie Bourbon walking through the park. He's alone, holding a gallon jug of water, half empty, in his left hand, wearing a backpack atop his number 19 Flash Gordon New York Jets jersey and a pair of plaid cargo shorts. His shoe game is on point too, shiny black sneakers. Robbie stops and opens his gallon jug of water. He licks his lips as he puts the open mouth of the bottle to his, allowing the water to pour down his throat. He quaffs a quart in no time flat, pulls the bottle away from his dripping maw, and exhales. His face looks relieved, for a moment, then he looks around and looks a little worried. The sounds of the universe fade out for a moment as Robbie's internal dialogue takes over.

"Shit, I forgot there's no place to pee anywhere around here at all. Starbucks makes you wait in line to order a drink before going to the pisser. Too many overdoses. Fucking junkies, ruining everything for everybody." Robbie caps his quart of water in a gallon jug. "Better keep walking and sweating, I'll have to pee less. Plus, it's a great day out. Take my mind of shit. Me and Cain getting robbed was a kick in the pills. I had Scully screaming like a dying goat, tapping out in the middle of that ring. Welp, I guess the Kings get a pass at the Pay Per View, but they've got a line-up of heads ready to challenge them for their titles. It's just a matter of time before the Motherfuckers get their shot. However, in the mean time, I do get a shot at being the new number one contender. Let's not let that get out of reach. Isn't like it's going to be a walk in the park. Chaos is a legit hitter in this business, I can't forget that, I can bypass it though. Kind of a shame about him and Myst. I never disliked her, I just had to cut promos like she did, let her know I wasn't really bothered by that jibbajab she was saying, and also hopefully help her by showing her what real brutal smack talk sounded like." Robbie walks past the protestors and armed agents, circling the park. A flock of pigeons starts to follow him. "Wonder what Chris is going to have to say for himself. He's in a weird mood again. Probably won't call me charming, or sweet, or nice. At best, I'm pleasant. I prefer that, really. Robbie Bourbon, pleasant guy. That way, whenever I'm not being pleasant, I'm just unpleasant. Nah, my unpleasant doesn't exist. I'm a low down prick when it comes to it when I'm in a negative mood."

A family, recognizing Robbie, approach him. "Oh, hiya people. Nice to meet you." Robbie mouths something we can't hear to them, they chuckle and the three children go stand next to Robbie as their mom pulls out a phone. "Oh, okay, I guess I'm going on someone's Instagram today. Shit, is this what drove Chaos over the edge? Too much exposure? Couldn't handle the celebrity aspect of this?" The kid spins and slugs Robbie in the groin. The camera flashes as he's beginning to double over. "What the fuck!" Robbie forces a grin as the family, mother and three sons, laugh. "Yeah, yeah, really fucking funny." Robbie opens his gallon of water and pours it all over the children as the camera flashes again. "Shit, is that assault? I hope she doesn't press charges, she has a fucking picture." The kids scream and scatter as the mom laughs again. "Thank god she had a sense of humor." The kids all giggle as their mom laughs too, and she says something to Robbie. "Nope. I'm not these kids' hero. I'm not a hero. Not by a longshot. I'm a survivor, true. I like to keep a nice yard at times, but a hero, not at all. Don't paint that picture about me to your kids, you want them to be doctors, or lawyers, not me." Robbie crouches and another picture is taken.

*CRACK*

With a loud bang, we exit Robbie's thoughts. Screams permeate the air as we see some hapless walker go to the ground with a pink mist where their head was. Another gunshot shatters the air, then another, until a cacaphony of fire is tearing through the mid-afternoon setting. People fall all around the park, panicked secret service agents draw their weapons and return fire at unseen assailants. The mother's phone drops to the ground as she falls the opposite way, screaming and heaving in pain as she clutches her abdomen. The three boys are in hysterics over this for a moment, until they fall, silent, following the loudest and last sounds they'd ever heard as more bullets scream through the air and take three more lives. Bourbon watches all of this happen, mere feet away, as bullets simply collide into him and fall to the ground, used and mute. He quickly turns his gaze around, trying to spot who was shooting, but it was still only a few seconds in. He gets an eyeful of a man holding an AK-47, his eyes barely open as he fires into the park. The man is definitely not a secret service agent, judging by his bright pink tuxedo.

Robbie immediately charges towards him, but is swiftly tacked to the ground by a secret service agent.

Stay down, sir! We have this under control!

Robbie shoves the agent off of him, pinning him to the ground. As he does, the agent points his gun at Robbie while Robbie reaches into his pocket.

DO NOT REACH FOR YOUR POCKET SIR!

Robbie reaches for his pocket as the agent pointlessly puts a bullet into Robbie's skull. Robbie pulls his wallet out and flips it open, showing the agent his ID. The agent quickly pulls his pistol away and looks in shock.

I am sorry sir! I heard about you, but I didn't know.

Robbie rolls his eyes. "What other asshole is walking around in my fucking mask in DC?"

There's a guy in a pink tuxedo! Let's go!

Robbie hops to his feet, and looks, but the gunman is gone. The agent gets up and walks after Robbie.

A what? Sir, let's get to clear ground, we believe the gunman has left.

Robbie looks at the ground, strewn with corpses, the weeping, and the terrified. He looks at the family of four that approached him, two boys with holes in their heads large enough to sink a tennis ball into, a boy with no throat, and a mother holding her own guts in while looking in horror at her dead sons. The agent puts his hand on Bourbon's shoulder. Bourbon shrugs him off.

Look, we're trained for this, we have a response plan, just follow us, sir, we could use your...

I'm not a fucking hero.

What?

I said I'm not a fucking hero.

Sir, I understand if you're in shock, you did just get shot in the head and this situation is very alarming. Please, come with...

I'm not in shock. What's your name?

Miles.

Hi, Miles. I'm Robbie. I'm not in shock.

Sir, we need to regroup.

No. You regroup. You know how to call me, yeah?

Yes, we have your number in our phones. Again, I didn't know...

Look, Miles, do you see these people that are dead? The people that are suffering? Did I prevent any of that?

Sir, you couldn't have.

Exactly. I'm not a fucking hero. Not at all.

I'm a Motherfucker.

Now if'n it's all the same to you, kid, step off, go play with the rest of the boy scouts. While you rub two sticks together, I got a piece of shit in a pink tux that wants some of my attention.

What makes you think that, sir?

Why else would he wear the pink tux?

Okay, sir. If we find anything, we'll call you.

Awesome. Why don't you call and ambulance or twelve, seriously, some of these people aren't dead.

Robbie bends over and picks up the woman who just watched her babies die in his arms and starts to run her towards an ambulance that's pulling up, pushing a secret service agent with a wounded foot out of the way. He then turns and dashes down the street where the man in the pink tuxedo was standing. The camera follows, and up the block there's no sight of the man in pink. Robbie bolts up the block a ways to the next intersection and sees nothing in either direction. Robbie continues to sprint up the street, stopping at the next intersection, and looking both ways. No sight of the man in a pink tuxedo. The world goes mute.

"Jesus fuck. What the fuck. Where the fuck did you go?"