June 13, 2017
The Four Kings Coliseum
LIVE FROM SIN CITY
Twenty One Pilots plays “Heathens” live from the sold out Four Kings Coliseum in Sin City. During the song, a video package is shown highlighting the major plot points leading up to High Stakes. Jim Caedus cashing in his 24/7 briefcase to win the XWF Universal Championship from some bitch ass scrub. The AX3 takeover of Saturday Night Savage. The Kings™ shenanigans against AX3. Thaddeus Duke kicking Dolly Waters in the face and his subsequent joining of AX3. Shots of some of the hottest and brightest newcomers like Jack Cain, Maddy and Engy. The rise of Cadryn Tiberius and his raging feud with Robert Main. AX3 getting figuratively shanked by The Kings™ on Savage. Micheal Graves and his sickness toward Dolly Waters. Vinnie Lane’s public demand for a match with the Kings™. The thrilling return of the legendary James Raven. The slow burn build to the AX3 blowout between champion Caedus, contender Duke and Chris Chaos culminating in a moment on Warfare, where Jim Caedus was set to fire Chaos from AX3 only for Theo Pryce to interrupt, making the all-AX3 title match for High Stakes official.
As “Heathens” winds down, pyro explodes from every possible vantage point in the Coliseum and we’re joined at ringside by the single greatest play by play man in the entire history of the business, the Oklahoma born and raised, cowboy hat wearing, spittle in the paralyzed corner of his mouth when he talks… Good Ole JR, Jim Ross!
WELCOME EVERYONE! TO SIN CITY! WELCOME TO THE HOME OF XTREME! WELCOME… TO HIGH STAKES TWO!
WE ARE LIIIIVE!
WE ARE SOLD OUT!
WE’RE AT THE FOUR KINGS COLISEUM JUST OFF THE STRIP IN LAS VEGAS!
And I’m joined by my broadcast partner for tonight, Warfare’s own...
Jim’s voice trails off as he looks to his right. As he does so, the camera follows his lead and pans to its left, finally letting Luca Arzegotti into the picture.
...Luca Arzegotti… Luca, what the hell happened to you?
Arzegotti is wearing a flower print sun dress, lipstick and a large red hat that weird rich bitches wear.
Jim, your guess is as good as mine! I literally just woke up from a cocaine and Jack Daniels induced coma like ten minutes ago.
The duo takes their seats behind the announce table.
Well… you know what they say, Luca… What happens in Vegas...
It doesn’t necessarily stay in Vegas, Jim!
A special thank you to Twenty One Pilots for coming out here to Sin City to sing Heathens live for all the ‘F’ers!
It’s kind of false advertising and I want my money back.
...
It’s supposed to be 21 pilots, Jim, but there’s only two of them, and they ain’t heckin’ flying anything!
Ignoring Luca’s nonsense, Jim throws it to Justin RRRRRRRoberts!
Justin, take it a way!
The bell rings as Justin Roberts stands in the center of the ring. Weeks and weeks of anticipation has the Sin City crowd at a fever pitch.
The opening contest, here at High Stakes Twoo… is a SIX PACK CHALLENGE MATCH, SET FOR ONE FALL! It is for the XWF…. TELEVISIONNNN CHAMPIONNNSHIIIIIP!
Obsidian Air is waiting in the ring waiting for our first match of the night. Let's go to Justin Roberts now for the introductions.
His opponents....From Queens, New York Weighing in at 328 pounds and standing at 6'10"
Jack Caaaainnnnnnn
Cain walks down to the ring and rolls in. He calmly waits in a corner for the rest of his competitors.
Next Weighing at 242 pounds and standing 6'0" from the psyche of a broken man Pahntom Panzerrrrrr....
He slowly walks out as the lights dim. Then they light up on the ramp only, and he walks out and as he walks along the lit ramp, blood seemingly follows his every step, coating the ramp. As he reaches the ring, the ring is lit up and before he enters, and as he steps foot inside the squared circle, the effect rushes from all four corners. After a minute, he throws his arms out fast upwards, and the lights brighten as bloodied confetti shoots out and into the crowd.
Our next competitor From Silver Spring , Maryland Weighing at 285 pounds and standing 6'5" DannnnnnY SEEEEEeEEEEEXXXXXXX.....
Mr. Sex steps out onto the entrance way and he's humping the air, letting everybody know that he's going to have sex later. He air humps his way down to the ring, and everybody in the crowd goes nuts and starts having lots of sex. Male and female babymaker on babymaker friction. Mr. Sex enters the ring by kicking his right leg between the top and middle ropes, then his left, then he climbs the to the second turnbuckle in the near corner and humps the air as people continue to sex each other like crazy in the crowd over Mr. Sex.
Our next competitor hails from Saskatoon, SK weighing in at 335 pounds and standing 7'2" DREZZZZZZDDDIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN........
The arena goes completely black for a moment, then the lights start to pulsate as the music starts to blare through the PA system. As soon as the pyro goes off the lights turn on, the people in the arena turn silent, the people are at awe and shock on how massive he is. He starts walking down the ramp, he yells out...IT'S GO TIME!, then he stops at the end of the ramp to take a deep breath. He approaches the ring, then he grabs the rope ring rope gets unto the ring aparon goes over the top rope then walks towards the middle of the ring. He raises his left hand as the pyro goes off.
Now introdcing the XWF Televison Champion....From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania weiging in at 205 pound and standing 6 feet tall ......THOMASSSSSS NIXXXXXOOOONNNNNN........
"My Sacrifice" by Creed booms through the arena, and the crowd cheers in anticipation for the beloved Thomas Nixon. As Scott Stapp's voice plays over the PA, Nixon appears on the stage wearing his black trunks and cape. What stands out to the crowd most is the green lizard insignia on the back of the cape that represents what Thomas is truly fighting for. Nixon races down the ramp, as the crowd applauds him and his cause, whether he is completely insane or not. Nixon hops on the and climbs up the far turnbuckle. Taking off his cape, he then holds it like a flag and gestures at the insignia. The crowd roars in approval, before Thomas enters the ring.
What a great way to start off the show here in Las Vegas, Nevada
Yeah, don’t remind me I lost way too much money at the casinos. Well probably.
15:00
The referee signals for the bell, the 15 minute timer has begun and Luca! High Stakes II is officially under way!
I feel like we’re already like a day late getting started!
The bell rings and the six men stare each other down waiting for the first man to make their move. Jack Cain rushes the champion and throws a flurry of blows. While the other men pick their targets for the match, Drezdin goes after Obsidian Air while Danny sex starts his onslaught on Phantom Panzer. Cain has Nixon in the corner pummeling him with punches left, right, left, right, right, right. Nixon lays on the mat covering his head. Cain kicks him a few time for good measure then turns his attention to Drezdin and Obsidian Air. He sees the big man choking Obsidian in the corner with his boot the ref is counting the hold.
1...
2...
3...
Cain hits Drezdin with a big boot to the lower back. Drezdin falls to the mat and Cain drops a knee into drezdins chest. Danny Sex and Panzer are trading blows in the center of the ring. Danny Sex all of the sudden dodges one of Panzers punches and grabs him around the waist and suplexes him across the ring. The thud of Panzer's body echoes through the arena. Danny Sex waists no time and picks Panzer up and sets him in the corner and places each leg into the ropes.
It looks like Danny Sex is goin for one of his trademark moves.
Kicking some one in the balls really isnt that trademarked.
13:24
Danny steps a few feet back and runs forward......
GENITAL kICK
The injured Panzer crumples to the mat holding with his hands between his legs. Danny sex hops on the turn buckle and starts to hump the air in celebration. Nixon gets to his feet and grabs Danny from behind....hitting with an Exploder Suplex. The champ goes for the cover and hooks the leg. The ref falls in for the count...
1...
2.....
Thre..…
We nearly had a winner right there but, Drezdin kicks the champion and breaks the count!
Jack Cain now has Air in on the outside. The still dazed Air is almost help less to the vicious upper cuts Cain is dishing out to him. Back in the ring Nixon and Drezdin are facing off taking turns chopping each other in the chest. exchanging Knife hand chops back and forth.
It seems these men are not willing to give up that easy
Nixon, you idiot he is bigger than you, hit him in the knees.
Nixon as if he heard Luca drop kicks Drezdin in the let knee putting the big man down. He turns his attention to Danny Sex.
10:00
Nixon grabs Danny and throws him into the ropes and on the return Nixon takes a step back. Danny Sex grabs the top rope, halting his momentum. Nixon, not one to be a fool, charges toward Danny and Danny Sex is clotheslined over the top rope by Thomas Nixon! As Danny hits the floor, a man in balaclava and fatigues hops the barrier, and grabs Danny Sex, and hoists him over his shoulder! Danny Sex is out of it!
What the hell! Someone get security involved, that fan is taking Danny Sex out of the match!
The man removes his balaclava, and reveals himself to be Bearded War Pig!
I guess he wants sex?
Bearded War Pig, what the hell is he doing to one of the TV Title contenders? This doesn't make any sense!
Bearded War Pig runs backstage with Danny Sex over his shoulder. Danny is still groggy from the clothesline, and as he comes to, he realized what is going on and grasps helplessly towards the ring as he and BWP disappear through the stage gateway.
Nixon-nator
Back to the action, Jack Cain is standing over an unconscious Obsidian Air. Nixon runs at Cain full force and hits him with a clothesline, taking the bigger man down. With the momentum he turns the corner and slides back in to the ring and tries to cover the still prone Panzer.
1...
2…
Thr...…
Jack Cain! Still with the wherewithal to break up that count!
This match has so many moving parts, I can barely concentrate!
You’ve been going through the Doge files on your phone for the last five minutes!
That’s BECAUSE I can’t concentrate on all these bodies, JR! Try to keep up, old timer!
Drezdin soon starts to go after Nixon. The bigger man starts to chop Nixon in the chest with each one you can see the air leave Nixon's lungs. The now nearly breathless Nix is leaned against the ropes. This is the time that drezdin had been waiting for. With Cain, Panzer and Obsidiot Air all trying to recuperate, he could win it right here.
Oh no! The big man has Panzer all to himself!
Oh, Great that the first thing we need is him being T.V. Champ.
Actually is it too late to add Brian Harris?
Drezdin grabs Panzer and hoists him up into the air. Holding it there for a few seconds to show off how strong he is.....then he swings him down.
Reality Destroyer
Drezdin hooks the leg!
1...
2…
Jack Cain slides Drezdin out of the ring right before the count of three. The two big men start to go at on the outside.
7:00
Someone has to have the upper hand here we are running out of time.
There’s literally almost half the time left!
Nixon is in the ring throwin punches back and forth with Panzer. Niether one giving up and or slowing down. Nixon finally blocks one of the incoming punches and kicks Panzer in the gut and hitting him with a DDT. Nixon goes for the cover, hoping to end this while the bigger guys are outside of the ring. When all of the sudden Mezian walks out holding a chair. He strolls down to ring side and sits down.
What in the hell is Mezian doing out here? He isnt in this match.
Lets hope that he is here to make it interesting and to give me my red bull he owes me.
5:00
Nixon distracted by Mezian being there gets hit in the back of the head by Phantom Panzer. He continues the beat down by stomping Nixon on the back of the head not realizing Drezdin is behind him. PanzerTank slowly turns around and is met with a hand in his throat. Drezdin grabs the smaller man and chokeslams him outside of the ring. Drezdin stands victorious with his hands in the air. He turns around and catches a big boot from Jack Cain. Drezdin hits the mat with a thunderous thud and Jack follows up with a knee drop to the big man. Cain Then turns his attention to Nixon once again. Cain grabs Nixon as he tries to get back up and drives back into a corner and begins to throw punches into the gut of Nixon. With each one you can see Nixon crumple a little more.
Mezian clapping here!
Who has The Clap?
I said… never mind Luca!
Lets go Nixon *clap clap clap clap clap clap* Let's go Nixon*clap clap clap clap clap clap*
These fans, firmly behind Thomas Nixon!
Cain angered by this stops his attack on Nixon to start yelling at Mezian. As Mezian sits down he flips off Cain and gestures behind him. Cain looks behind him to see a waiting Panzer. Panzer kicks Cain in the gut spins him around and grabs him. Panzer Executes a German suplex. He Bridges and goes for the pin.
1...
2...
Thre.....
Nixon! With the save in literally the nick of time!
The ring is absolute chaos with all the men spent and with little time left.
3:15
These men have put it all out there, but will we have a winner here with such little time?
I say Mezian gets in there and gets quick win.
Four of the five remaining men all begin to get to their feet…
NIXONATOR FROM NIXON!
Drezdin is out, here!
Just as Nixon is turning around, he QUICKLY ducks a lariat in the nick of time, avoiding danger from PanzerTank. Tank bounces off the ropes and runs into a big boot from Jack Cain! With Cain slightly distracted, Nixon charges toward him, nailing Cain with a leaping forearm to the head that rocks the big man backward. Cain drops to a knee but gets upright again quickly as he stands near the ropes. Nixon charges forward and Cain dives to the mat, pulling the top rope with him.
About sixty seconds remain here and we still have no winner!
Nixon spills to the outside. Back in the ring, Obsidiot Air finally gets to his feet after basically napping for the last fourteen and a half minutes. Jack Cain zeroes in…
Oh shit!
TKO FROM CAIN! TKO FROM CAIN! TKO FROM CAIN! BY GOD ALMIGHTY, WHAT AN EARTH SHATTERING KNOCKOUT BLOW!
Cain hooks the leg as Thomas Nixon gets to his feet on the outside.
1…
Nixon is to his feet and headed to the ring quickly.
2…
Nixon slides into the ring and dives to break up the pin…
THREE-CRASHHH!!!!!
:01
:00
As time expires, the bell sounds without an initial signal from the referee.
The match is over, but who’s the winner?
I’m not sure who won, but I know Obsidiot Air definitely did not win this match!
The referee leans through the ropes giving Justin Roberts his decision.
Ladies and gentlemen… the referee has informed me, that the result of this match…
YOUR WINNER… AND NEEWWWWWWW XWF TELEVISION CHAMPIOOONNN…. JACKKK CAIIIIINNNNNNN!
Thomas Nixon, is clearly disappointed.
Disappointment is just anger for pussies.
Jack Cain, no doubt deserving of this victory!
Its a sad fact of this business in matches like this, JR! Only one man can win while all the others go home empty handed!
The cameras fade to the front of the building outside the Coliseum. Tommy Gunn holds his AR15 in his left hand and with his right, presses his ear piece in a little deeper to hear whatever is being said to him. Soon after, a lime green limousine pulls to a stop in front of the Coliseum.
By gawd is that gaudy!
Oh shit its ma nigga Paulie!
Gunn approaches the limo and opens the rear door while shaking his head. Paul Heyman steps from the limousine and greets Tommy with a bear hug.
What’d I miss?
You interrupted me while I was reviewing tapes. I take my job seriously, Paul! I have to review all these tapes for any threats against the management of the company.
Yeah, but what’d I miss?
TV title match. Jack Cain is the new champ.
Cain!? Good for him!
Tommy and Paulie start to head into the Coliseum.
A lime colored limousine Paul?
Heyman stops, looks back at the limo, and smiles wide.
Tacky as hell right?
Fits you to a T.
Damn right! Let’s get to my luxury box.
Tommy stops Heyman at the door.
Paul… you have a little uhhh...
Tommy doesn’t complete his thought verbally. Instead, he brushes his finger under his nose. Paul follows his lead and brushes a feint white streak from his lip then looks at his finger. He then rubs the white residue onto his gums and heads through the door.
What the fuck Paul?
What? I was out partying with Arzegotti last night. Don’t remember much else, but I know we were together.
Back at ringside, JR stares over at Luca.
I do vaguely remember Paul Heyman.
I have a feeling we’re gonna find out why you’re dressed this way.
Luca adjusts his giant red hat as the bell rings to signal the next match.
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