Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 03:59 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » High Stakes II RP Board
Baby-Person Wars of 2371
Author Message
Phantom Panzer Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#1
06-11-2017, 05:21 AM



"Ahhhh! After ten thousand years, I'm free! Time to conquer Earth!

Just fuckin' kiddin'.

It did feel like that, though. Couple of months in the mind of that Broken asshole.

What, you wanted a story? Seriously? You expect me to show you some shit? Well, I guess I could. Let's get us a proper camera, shall we?"

He held out his hands and as he did so, a small object began to form, as if pixelation was occurring and the object was finally complete. He held it out and it began to float above his hand, then a bubble covered it, then it disappeared. He tapped it, and it showed that the bubble is still there.

"Okay then. Now that we've got something to record all the shit I want, without destroying a humanoid via traveling through all of space and time. Wouldn't want you to end up baked like a shitcake. Seriously, you'd be baked in a bad way, and you'd smell like shit. Mostly because all of your insides would explode after a couple of seconds when exposed to air, causing you to fling shit everywhere. Not a pretty sight, I must say."

He then disappeared with the tiny camera and appeared on a planet, emitting such horrid smells, that thanks to the special nature of the camera, the viewer would smell what was coming from the planet, even though technically there is no such thing as smell-o-vision, it still allowed normal televisions in the current Earth to emit a smell that could only be described as a mix of Barney Green fucking a bear for four days straight, with Peter Gilmour shitting all over his women before they let it slide off and onto his chest and mouth.

It smelled that fucking bad and now everyone could smell that nastiness as they viewed what Panzer was showing them.

What is odd, is that the planet looked somewhat close to Earth. The grass was green, the water was blue though with green film covered some of it. The cause of the smell? There was gigantic buildings, about five miles away, burning shitty diapers.

Panzer Criss Angel'd and floated across the ground, not bothered by the smell, mostly because of the big red nose. He did taste it, though, and that was much, much worse. Every intake of air through his mouth, he'd get that weird thing where if a smell is so powerful, you can actually have the taste of what the smell was. That's what kind of phenomenon was happening. However, he didn't gag, he had shit to show people, so he moved across the ground, and moved into a nearby tiny house, about 8 feet tall, 7 feet wide, 10 feet long. He intruded into the home, and he'd get yelled at by the occupants...

"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!?"

"HEEEEY, FUCKO! IT'S DOUBLE P! How ya doin' Jemmy?!"

"Holy shit! Pee Pee is here! Noice!"

And out from around the corner, was someone that looked like a baby, but a bit bigger, he looked like a midget, about three feet tall, but wearing a large diaper around his waist and crotch. However, he wore a shirt, and it was a black and forest green plaid work shirt.

"Fuck, man! It's been so long broh!"

PP picked him up and gave him a hug before the manbaby clocked him hard and PP dropped him

"Fuck, dude! Why'd you do that shit?!"

"Because it's fucking gay to hug a man like that! Fuckin' !"

They then gave an awkward handshake like in Predator between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers. They would release after a minute before PP talked.

"So, how's the wife and kids, brother?"

"Bah, you fuckin' know them. The wife's a bitch and the kids are fucking brats as usual."

Then a voice sounded out

"YOU BETTER NOT HAVE CALLED ME A BITCH, JEMMY!"

"NO, HONEY! I DIDN'T!"

"FUCKING RIGHT YOU DIDN'T!"

He then whispered to PP

"Bitch hears like a fuckin' bat, y'know?"

"FUCKING RIGHT I DO!"

"Fuck... Well, since I have the rest of the day free because I'm in the damn doghouse now. What can I do for you, man?"

"Y'know, I just came by, wanted to see how you're doing. Shit like that. Wanted to see if you wanted to play some Monopoly, some chess or something."

"Huh. Okay, well, the kids are with their friends families. We can just hang out and kick back with some beer."

"ONLY FIVE CANS! KNOW YOUR LIMIT!"

"FUCK OFF! IT'S FUCKING PANZER! I'MMA FUCK AROUND WITH MY NIGGA, GOTDAMN!"

"OH SHIT! PEE PEE! WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!?"

"I JUST DID! GODDAMMIT, WOMAN!"

The rest of the day was spent with the two talking about the Baby-Person Wars of 2371. Instead of any flashbacks being shown. Because fuck your shit.

Nawww, there's gonna be some images. Check it.

It all started because of one side of the Baby-People wanted to bring back manual labor for Baby-Person diaper burning. The other was in favor of machines doing the burning. Mostly because breathing in all that shitty air directly would cause many health problems for the populace.

Then a civil war broke out because of it. East of Babymurica which was for manual labor, versus West of Babymurica which wanted machinery. One day, PP had appeared out of nowhere, while Jemmy was under siege from the East, trapped in a small apartment complex, appearing right next to Jemmy.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

He said in a more sharp tone, but not loud enough to be heard outside

"Just a passerby. Goddamn this place tastes like shit. Like, real shit. Like someone literally fucking just shit in my mouth."

"Oh... uhhh... okay... well, I'm kinda busy buddy. I'm trying to hide."

PP disappeared and then reappeared in front of a bunch of tanks large enough for the baby-people inside to operate it and a regiment of baby-people holding heavy machine guns and light machine guns, one with a bazooka and two with sniper rifles. PP disappeared and appeared before Jemmy and looked to him,

"Well buddy, let's make this shit easier for you so we can have a conversation."

He shifted into a Baby-Person, and looked like a Baby-Person equivalent of Rambo.

"Let's fuck them right up their fuckin' poop chute, mothafuckaaaaa!!!"

He still looked like a clown, just dressed to the nines with an arsenal strapped around his body. He ran through the complex with Jemmy, and they burst out from the front door as Panzer pulled out a bazooka and shot it straight at the tank, blowing it to up, killing the Baby-People inside, and the shockwave blew a couple of the guys off their feet, with the closest ones dying immediately, the others being disoriented as PP began to laugh out loud in his blood lust, pulling two heavy machine guns up and began to walk forward as he began to let loose a wave of bullets straight into the enemy, tearing them apart, shredding them like chicken or Hulk Hogan with t-shirts. Jemmy grabbing grenades from PP's belt, pulling the pins and flinging them at the enemy, causing explosion after explosion, and when he ran out, he began to fire his gun into the enemy line, as Panzer laughed maniacally and loudly, seemingly rivaling the explosions and gunfire.

After nearly an hour of combat, Panzer had no ranged weaponry, and Jemmy had been hit by a couple bullets to the legs and two in the chest of his bulletproof vest, breaking a couple ribs from the impact.. Panzer had leaped upon the last soldier, and began to cut him, not deeply, but began to go Lingchi on him, cutting the Baby-Person with a thousand cuts. Once done, he used his knees and toes to hop up onto his feet, and off the man, and let him die from his many wounds. He began to walk away, heading to Jemmy, changing his appearance to his normal look, and summoning many tools and bandages and medicines, all which floated before Jemmy. He began to operate on the baby-man, removing the bullets from his legs, summoning forth a wheelchair sized perfectly for him. He then handed Jemmy a briefcase full of drugs before talking and helping him up into the chair.

"You're going to be okay, but goddamn are you going to be in a shit ton of pain. Take all this when you're in pain, in small moderation, don't take too much, but trust me when I say you'll feel so fuckin' good it'll be like you're ]

Jemmy nodded

[color=#00BFFF]"Now, what the fuck did I kill people for?"


And Jemmy would tell him

"Huh. Air'll still taste like shit, so whatever man. But I would think with machinery would help with you fucks. You know how many people you'd need to take care of all the shit in your country? Goddamn. Anyway. I've helped ya. Now I'mma scoot. Here's a radio so you can call for help."

He manifested a radio set the right frequency so Jemmy could call for aide.

"What's your name, man?"

"Just call me Pee Pee. My name, though, or rather, what I call myself, is Phantom Panzer."

"Sounds gay."

"Yer darn tootin'."

He then flipped Jemmy off before disappearing while they both chuckled.



"So, let's start off with Shit Drizzle, aka Drezdin.

Look fuckwit. I'm not Ghost Tank. He didn't reinvent himself. He's still that Broken cunt and is still the fat bitch he'll always be. I, however, am the baby of two fucking personalities of his from the past. I'm a new fuckin' being. So, yeah, maybe you shouldn't eat all them paint chips, fucko. It's making you fucking . Why are you even alive? I'm talking serious right now. You are possibly the worst fucking wrestler of any generation. You're absolutely fuckin' terrible at cutting promos, and your bitch has c.diff with a hint of AIDS. Dump her, or keep fucking her, I don't give a fuck. I hope you fuckin' die and make the XWF great again.

Next up is novocain. I mean Jack Cain. I'm sorry, he's so fucking boring, he numbs me when I watch him.

Now, Michael Cain. I like you a little bit. You're not the dumbest fuck around. However, you can stop sucking my dick. I mean, I know it's huge, but fuck, man, you're trying to boost my ego by saying all this "they doubt Panzer, doubt his identity, doubt his balls, doubt his ability to take fifty dicks in his ass while fucking a donkey pussy" and I'm like "Nigga. I know I'm fuckin' amazing, but tone that shit down, seriously." Then you say you know me? Dude, I'm like, what? Barely a month fuckin' old in real time. You don't know fuckin' shit about me.


Jack Cainesugar Said:I see beneath the paint. I see beneath your grin. I know what you are. You're frightened, you're scared, and you want to win because you wanna prove your the best, but that then leads down another path, another gamble, and that applies to someone else here.

Bitch, this ain't paint. This is just how I came to be. I chose this form. Hell, just like them Killer Clowns from Outer Space, my nose is not detachable and it's fuckin' real.

Anyway back on track. No, I'm not frightened, no I'm not scared. You are right about one thing: I do want to win. Not to prove I'm the best, but it's to show that I'm that good good. I'm not that shit. I'm not like Pepsi fuckin' Fire. God that shit sucks. It's like someone took a big fat fuck, packed his mouth full of Big Red and a drop of Pepsi, then let him drool out into cans. That shits disgusting. I want to show that I'm like Hot Cheetos. Spicy, but still fucking great.

So, Jackie, can I call you Jackie? Nah, I don't care if you mind if I do or not. Look here, Jacqueline, you're not winning, I am, shut the fuck up and suck my dick without talkin'. I don't give a fuck what you think about me, what you think you know about me, I don't give a fuck. This belt is mine. Got it? Good. Fuck off.

Danny Sex is just a animal, so I don't really need to say shit about him. He didn't say shit about us, so why should I give a fuck? He's worthless and useless. He's barely above Drezdin and that's because Drezdin is a fucking loser and Sex just started not long ago, right? He's got time to spare in order for him to be just as fucking dumb and pathetic as Drezdin.

Lastly, Tommy Nix.

Buddy, amigo, how ya doin'? I want to talk to you a bit about respect.

Y'see, you respect your opponents, so you say. However, I think, barely deep down, you don't give a fuck about us. You don't give a fuck about any of your opponents. Respect is earned, not given. To say you "respect" people, without ever knowing them, wrestling them, shit like that, it shows just how fake you truly are.

I don't respect a goddamn person, because no one has yet to step up to the plate and made me want to show respect to them. Maybe it's the old GT logic of "Beat me, get respect" or some shit, Id'know. So, you might be holding a belt, but that doesn't mean you deserve my respect, yet. You haven't earned it for me. Whether you care not, that's up to you. Just know, I see through ya, fucko. You can talk the good guy shit, but I know skin deep, that you don't respect anyone, let alone me, since I haven't even shown what I can do.

Then, you talk about the match. Good call, buddy. Not a lot have. Let's talk about it, for the semi-first time. I won't talk about how I'll win. Nah. This is about the match.

15 minutes, 6 men. Sounds like my Thursday night. Can you guess what happened?

There was a lot of meat being pounded. And I was the meat. Ba dum tss...

Anyways. You don't even have to be pinned for us to win. So, out of all of us, you need to be on your toes. But what does that mean for us? Well, it means that we all get to kick the shit out of one another, but just like Jinder Mahal, one of us needs to be lucky enough or cheap enough to have help, and pin someone. Then we'll end up being the new maharaja. Nah, we won't, but we'll still be pretty up there and our names will be etched into the replaceable gold plates, and be crowned the NEW T.V. Champion.

So, if we all put in some work, you're going to be absolutely rammed in the ass. Like, just absolutely gaping wide. No lube.

So, Champ, might want to walk around that ring with your head on a swivel, because we're all coming for that ass, and the straps that rest over it. We're hungry, we're thirsty, and we're out to tear one another apart in order to become a champion.

Someone will be pinned before the 15 minutes run out. And you'll be the FORMER T.V. Champ.

Anyway, I'll talk to ya soon, bitch nuggets!

BEEP BEEP, NIGGAS! WOOOOOO!!!!"

[Image: hvu6R0Z.png?2]
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 5 users Like Phantom Panzer's post:
"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler (06-11-2017), Dolly Waters (06-12-2017), JackCain (06-11-2017), JimCaedus (06-12-2017), Mezian (06-11-2017)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)