(continued from "Purpose and Perseverance")


-April 1 2011-


Two and a quarter ounces of appetite stimulating, ache soothing medical grade marijuana with proof of grow in pictures, two bottles of Sativex and a stack of researched and printed info and evidence are what I deliver to my mother and her siblings by the time the third week of the harvested weed cure ends and just like that...I've beaten cancer FOR her.

For the first time in 5 months, as I climb back into Holly's white '85 Dodge Aries, I feel the ecstatic energy of one who's effectively denied the undeniable. I feel the weight of worry and doubt dissipate. I feel...confident...happy.

I sleep easier than I have in over a year. I smile. I laugh. I joke. I look forward to the day my mom thanks me for saving her. I can imagine my father forgiving me my failure to come to his aid, to preserve his life, by preserving that of his wife and mother of his child.

I'm a hero. Conqueror of cancer. HA!! Cancer ain't SHIT!!

Unbeknownst to me, the moment Holly and I drive away my Uncle Glen flushes the weed and Sativex down the toilet while my Aunt Peggy tosses a stack of truth in the trash.

Of course. Leave it to the schemes and backstabbery of others to rob a true hero and champion of all he's been working so hard to attain.



TBC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Fuck the Odds"

OR

"Pimpslapping Superhoes"







-Thursday March 30 2017 11:00 PM Local-

-Juche Tower, Pyongyang, DPRK-


The elevator chimes, signaling an end to the ride and my recollection.

I step forth and make my way to the viewing platform, taking in the stars above and the night lights of Pyongyang below. It's breathtaking.

I spy the arena in which about 48 hours or so from now I'll be entering into the final match of the Lethal Lottery tournament. It crosses my mind that like my own family, that plotting Pikeville pissant Dolly and her powerful backup may very well have less than honorable intentions for the outcome of the match. Rumors of a Triple Threat, Trax acting less and less a tag partner than opponent, Cadryn finally popping his head outta Gravy's bunghole...not only have I never competed in a match of this magnitude in the XWF with so much on the line but there are so many variables to prepare for now all I can do is my best to cover all bases and hope that everything turns out on the up and up. And if not...fuck it, I'll be beating the souls outta anyone that ain't a tag partner at the time. I'm Jim Caedus and I never back down from a challenge no matter HOW dismal or dirty it appears to be.

I prepare my phone for promo......

....................................

"Weeeeeeell, howdy Cady-cat! Just like I predicted, I KNEW you couldn't stay away and you'd slither in at the last minute. Thank you for that, we can all chalk it up under the 'Jim Caedus is a helluva lot more astute, accurate and credible than every single opponent he had/has claims to the contrary' column and of course, suck on my fat dick Dolly and Trax you both look even LESS believable now than I've already shown you both to be. Go ahead now Cady, you may proceed with what you think is gonna be enough to ensure victory for you and Dolly and not simply another tranny's tirade I'll tear apart like everything else you've ever shot my way. Big . Glad you're back.

Trax, Big T...as far as you go I'll begin with that Triple Threat rumor that obviously left you reeling. It's no secret you meant ME as that inaccurate description of a 'coke sniffin' little birdie' who clued you in so don't act like you dropped a bomb on my ass with that. Furthermore, you say it was me who told you, basically blaming me for your hasty words, right before you admit that we BOTH got the memo from Boss Lane himself. Good show, shithead. You continue by condemning my take on it all when all I've done is smack your teeth, grill still firmly attached, right outta your mouth for goin' on record that this is a Triple Threat without ANY official announcement from the boss to vindicate you. I hate to agree with Dolly but she said the same and, like me, has had the foresight to include the possibility in promo while continuing to cover bases if this does in fact remain a tag match. Now with Cadryn's bitchass finally showin' up sayin' he ain't out of it...even if he's penalized and removed from the match anyway, it seems his partner and yours were correct in their caution. Bro, did I not ask you if you'd thought to discuss with the boss further before assuming? I mean, I'm not gonna lie, like I keep proving to everyone, I'm about honesty...yes it was me who also spoke to you about it but it was YOU who said what you said. I'm sure your proclivity towards a hasty, hazardous and vexed approach will come in handy if any of the possible outcomes for this match lead to you and I knuckling up 'cause I'll knock you for a fuckin' loop with fists like I do with words.

Wait wait wait...I'm a fat Unworthy Thor now? Fat? Trax...seriously...stop fuckin' trying. No one 'blew a gasket' over your bullshit, what I did was tell you that your 'tin foil hat' theft and usage is about as weak an insult as an insult can get when compared to the shit I've been flingin'. Do I think 'Black Superman' is original by itself? No, that's why I said 'Black Superman/Dark Kent', the latter of which you failed to mention like 'thinking do rag' because you know they're both clever as fuck. Criptonian. You got a problem with sound alike spoken words? My bad, I figured since your dumbass fails to LISTEN and LEARN you might have been using subtitles, trying to keep up by reading what you fail to hear. You know...whatever it takes to understand all the big words you say only a thesaurus could teach me.. I know, I know...Trax READING is about as ridiculous an idea as Trax COMPREHENDING, Trax DELIVERING, Trax DOMINATING. By Elohim's elephantine nutsac, ain't no one sayin' Trax has Caedus's number, they're saying Caedus makes taking Trax to the mat look like a walk in the park. You'll be a lot more difficult in the ring to take down if it comes to that but it still won't stop me from fuckin' you up.

Keep returning to the respect I show others backstage as if it's some sorta chink in my armor you can exploit. I already told you, being the third person to say what Bourbon did and got booted out anyway will serve you up the same kinda success. Talk about how excited I was to be working with you despite the fact you literally said the exact same thing to me in the same convo you're pulling from. Twist shit to mean you were lying to my face disregarding how big of a bitch that makes you for not having the balls to speak the truth to someone you say you can defeat, pussy. Coward ass coon. Too spineless to _not_ mutually kiss my ass, too yellow bellied to not be you until you NEED AMMO. Get that, ladies and gents, _I_ scare the big black superhero with all his powers to the point that he can't find the courage to be himself! Or is the truth really that Trax has been behind-the-scenes AND in promo exchanging lips on asses with me while he still thought for sure it was a tag match? Is the apt addendum to that story that Trax is still pushing that shit even though I already shot it down because he has no real way of advancing on me and needs what he thinks is the strongest sounding swing to look like he's still putting up a legitimate fight? Yes. Yes it is. Oh Traxxy...I just...I just don't know if I have it in me, the skill and the strength to...stop myself from blading not my forehead but your belly wide open, yanking out your intact intestinal tract with anus attached, squeezing all the farts you accumulate for promo ammo out and up those massive black boy nostrils of yours, blowing that balloon head up and asking you how it feels to have an asshole blasting gas in your face before your dome explodes like that gook weather villain in Big Trouble In Little China. This just in: African American XWF superstar Trax the victim of violent and vicious gangland style run-on shooting. Sources say the wrestler raised his arms and loudly exclaimed, 'My forcefield is up!' before being riddled with hollow points and dropping like the mortal man he really is. Investigators are looking to blame unprotected chair shots and hard hitting to the head maneuvers to explain the level of insanity displayed by the deceased."

'Jenga. Keep goin' though.'

"You call my girlfriend a whore and ugly and all that jigaboo jazz? Trax! Do you kiss your mother with that same mouth you use to insult her with over her bein' my piece of comatose cooze? Shame on you, I'm tellin' 'er what mammy's little who's-the-father said when she wakes up right before I stab 'er to death and continue fuckin' 'er so's to rob you of your now predictable talkin' shit on MY mom. Up yours and lotsa luck soundin' original, asshole.

You say I 'can't hang with the real big league players' because as the TV champ I've been retaining over names like Gravy and Gilly and NOW I'm set to enter battle with serious competition. First, I never retained against either Micheal or Peter, in fact, I've never even been in a match with 'em. Didn't we already have a chat about you paying attention? Secondly, if you don't think Robbie Bourbon or Scully define big names with the bragging rights of one and the undeniable skill and Hart Title of another it's no wonder you walk around squawkin' like you got so much game when you have nothing currently to show for it. If anything Trax you're on the same level as those two and that's just plain as goddamn day. Thirdly, if I can't hang with the big dogs why is it you and Dolly keep having to answer to each and every homerun I smack outta the park pinning you with the truth and trash talk that somehow leaves even a crunchy fried super black bitch like you blushing for all to see? Fuckin' kidding me, moron? Fourth...ly...I've been retaining that TV title in between Warfares, Anarchy, the Federweight Hall and fighting my way to the finals of this very tournament, carrying your ass last round even, the whole time. Fuck have you ever done around here so hectic on that level of determination and drive, dumbass? I'm positive you've NEVER known that brand of work ethic in the XWF asshole, so I guess that makes me a real big league player if YOU are, DOESN'T IT, DICK?

Oh, you're gonna go the route now calling attention to that Scully/Buronan buttfuckery at the conclusion of our match conveniently leaving out the part where I took both Bob and Scull' on by myself while you stayed fresh and STILL got knocked on your ass into a-no-help-whatsoever position? You and Rob decided you'd stop putting in the effort and let someone else carry your weight did you? Must be why his fat ass is outta the tourney and your ashy ass is gearin' up for the same defeat. Oh...uh...buddy...did you not notice in the exact same promo you said to Dolly a win is a win without asterisk in context then try using the flipside of what happened, contradicting your words, against me? Do you prepare for a fuck-up like that or do I assume correctly that it just all comes naturally to an idiot of your caliber? You can't have your watermelon and eat it too, tough guy, pick a lane and stick with it, idiot. You're showing so many fuckin' flaws Trax I'm praying I don't hafta rely on your useless ass one more 'gain and hoping I just get to offload you as a partner and knock those braids off your big ass baboon noggin' with a Purgatory Punch but I'll tell you what...if we DO remain partners, let's go ahead and take our aggression out on the boy-girl and the girl-boy before we drag all of Pyongyang and the 1st of May arena into our nuclear warfare.

Wait, what was that?

'the Trax you're going to be stepping into the ring with at Lethal Lottery is unlike a Trax anyone has ever came across'.

Boys and girls, Trax's spot-on impersonation of Micheal Graves. Give 'im a big hand folks...right across his big fat lips and tell 'im to can it.

Onto Dolly with her new premise of fire and how it pertains to the loss of my wife and daughter. S'good one there, so very relevant to my past. You put all that together yourself there, genius, or did it take your whole buttfucker brigade to brainstorm after, what, seven promos? Woulda helped if you'd exploited the extensive and expensive resources of your lil' kike klan and dug a little deeper up my musky manhole to discover fire has more or less been my bitch since I was fuckin' 7 years old; so much so, in fact, that I've never been convicted of criminal combustion no matter what role I may or may not have had in any situation pertaining to. True, those closest to me were torn from my life in its fury however, I myself remain untouched and unbeaten by it. Furthermore, it was fire that gave birth to Caedus, you cowboy-cum-coated-country-cunt, an element so firmly under my ownership that whatever embers burning within you pale in comparison to the 5 alarm flames fuelin' this fuckin' devilish d-bag. In the ring, amidst the presence of my incandescence, you'll find yourself smothered, slut. Scratch your furry nutsac and come at me with another premise that has 'nothing to do' with my style or background you spice-stealin'-southern-sandbaggin'-sumbitch."

'She keeps challenging that, so slap 'er with some solid facts.'

"I believe it's late enough in the game those that know both my style and your past work have seen for themselves how you took your already existent talent for trash talk and sampled my specialities but for those unaware, let's expose, shall we?"

I quote.

"'This isn't a fucking "game" like you said. This is real life. I am Dolly Waters'.

Golly gee, Dolly-dumbfuck, why that's...that's MY drink order, isn't it? You know how many times I've said those exact words with the name switch-up? How obscure is it to anyone at this point that you're trying to steal my thunder? Just for RECENT precedent I literally took that stance with YOU as my partner against Hero, NOC and Crowe. That's what I'm talkin' about not only with the sissy samplin' mind games but the idea that you think if you claim it and say it first in current warfare it's suddenly the truth. Shall we continue, cocksucker?

'Wasting your time while whining like a hand-out craving mope-hung-from-a-rope trans-man stating that I was making "baseless assertions" while at the same time going back through, doubling that dick of dumbassry down your second shit hole'.

That sound like Caedus to anyone else or are we all asinine assholes aligning with the pathetic-preteen-pussy-propaganda? Jack Nicholson/Christian Slater like a motherfucker or, more aptly suited to you, Doll', like BH 90210 Luke Perry adopting the whole James Dean 'cool', ain't that right _DYLAN_? Fuckin' dickhead. Let's just take a listen to an example of Dolly's pre-Jimbo skill.

'the manner of which is something similar of a young Down syndrome child chasing after a kite as it slips through his slobber greased fingers.'

I'd say there's a definitive difference there what with the lack of lacerating linguistic layout and pseudo-alliteration pertaining to past and present promo style. Even worse, oh my word, it's like you completely rip off your own archived ass-hattery with that gem in your latest promo...

'...something to REALLY hang your down-syndrome helmets on', 'sweaty handed boy struggling to hold on to his fleeting kite string'.

Christ...of kites and cranial critiques it seems you recycle the fuck outta your own specific semantic slobberknockers AND borrow heavily from the harangue of this hated hick-killin' king. The truth is, Dolly, for the umpteenth time, twats like you sack, steal and sample from those you find greater than yourselves, those you knows shine brighter than even a beacon of brilliance like you, and you do it while deluding your dipshit dome into thinking the master of mouth mayhem won't notice, smack ya, snap your bra strap, spank ya and send you home to absorb the abilities, stylings and stories of someone you stand a chance at successfully plagiarizing. It still won't gain you anything against me, mind you, you're one of the greatest among the gladiators in the XWF but nothing can change the unfortunate fact that you REMAIN in MY shadow like Cady and Gravy, forever frantically lookin' to fuck me, bite me and wriggle your ways outta the chains I've locked 'round your little necks. You don't own SHIT here but the title 'Second Best', bitch. Own THAT and stop tryin' to talk like you haven't been playing catch-up since Dollygagging, girl. You're so goddamn good at what you do but to raise to MY level you've been grasping at every straw you can find, fuck-o, from identity schemes, to setups, to theft, to edits, to lies, to gang mentalities stacking the deck with star support. Why? Because you, Dolly Waters, simply are not GOOD ENOUGH on your own steam, skill and merit to take ME on. You're fucking pathetic. Period.

You come at me cutting me down for 'copying' what you said about driving this debate? Did I do that OR did I tell the truth AND show you how it feels to hear your words rehashed by another AS WELL AS give the fans an excellent example with side by side comparison provided by you, thank you for saving me the work by the way, of how you flavorlessly fight and flounder while I spit spectacular smashmouth salvos in similar situations? Suck my dick, Dollywog, I netted, nailed and knocked you on your flat ass again. You're good at not staying down but so am I, especially when you slapfight like a and I haymaker your hooker ass over and over again. I think that when physicality is involved, you know...when we meet in the squared-circle, you'll find it'll take a bit more to stand back up after the devastating dustup I'll deliver.

Somewhat like how I'll now be piefacing your latest lame attempt to divert attention from lying about your non-existent support by deflecting with Boss Lane and his role against you, simultaneously slamming me for Jong-un's personally insisted involvement in my shit like a fan flappin' through Fantasyland has any relation whatsoever to wrestlers and brass of the XWF and their support of Dolly Waters. You slimy slag, the fuck you think would happen if _I_ ran out during the round 3 semifinals physically involving myself in a match appearing to cost two dollar-drawing-dildos their advancement leading into an all important cash-cow pay per view dealing with something as powerful pertaining to championship straps like the 24/7 briefcase? You think maybe Lane would've had a pink slip pounded up my pooper since I swerved the talent, the card and HE HIMSELF or would I find myself not only NOT reamed but REWARDED with my continued inclusion in the tourney AND rumor of an 'evened odds' scenario saving my trouble makin' ass with the elimination of my useless tag partner? Yeah it sure looks like you're bein' victimized when the people trying so hard to keep you in prison and off the active roster allow you to waltz on by after actions falling under indefensible legal reasons for textbook talent termination. You're so right you little snot-nosed numbskull, ain't nothin' around here smellin' of spoiled fish, you're comin' up roses! And now you've secured the most difficult 24/7 title to snatch in the XTreme strap, a belt most recently defended for days on end by an ever vigilant Ghost Tank, sought after by one of your bffs in Thad and with extremely little resistance from all involved excusing valiant attempts by Cadryn and the unrelated Witch Doctor. Not only that, you offer that title up on a platter so assured of victory in our Lethal Lottery 4 future fisticuffs while I maintain draining the blood from your swollen ego with each passing promo I upload. I smell somethin' stinking of a setup and guess what? I don't care. I'll be smashing my way through walls, blockades and barriers as I've been doing for months now anyway, I'm not afraid of ANY level or power of obstruction. And if I fail...well...ain't no shame in a shafting by an army of Dolly and her admirers...just makes me look too motherfuckin' much to handle fairly by even The Faux Phenom herself.

The Faux Phenom Dolly Waters continuing to cast aspersions my way in context with the content of my conversation while gettin' caught cookin' with my recipes and recycling her own words.

The False Front labeling my lambasting and illuminating of her limp lies as 'whining', 'stupidity' and 'paranoia' because her punkass can't handle the hot seat and can only flip the bird in response trying desperately to drown out the truth with dumbass denial, excuses, accusations and curse words.

The Fake Fuck flacidly flailing and firin' at me, in a long lecture of a promo pretty much EXCLUSIVELY a love letter for MOI no less, about her being my majority target while being the _only vocal_ one of two tag partners booked as my tag team's opponents like her redundant remarks hold any water at all in the sieve of her strategy. Lyin'-ass leaky loser.

The Fugazi Female Fuck-up with such awe-inspiring insults of the early complimentary cordiality between Trax and I like people can't simply review her Buronan promos suckin' the sac of Trax, Caedus and Cadryn in succession or even easier, pour over her peppering of pole-ridin' this dick in this final round itself. We've all had words of mutual respect for one another. Keep on lookin' for somethin' 'stinging' that'll stick you fuckin' imbecile.

The weirdly masculine lil' miss talkin' shit on sob stories with all her hillbilly hootnanny goo-goo-ga-ga garbage crying about her parents, past, being spat on, being underestimated, criticized on her age and gender and being 'incarcerated', motherfuckin' mile-a-minute double-standard-dealin' dyke.

The FRAUDULANT femme fatale STILL stating she's been moderating after so much effort explaining and excusing all the blatant dishonesty and foul ups since I first finger-fucked her hypocritical hole. The very same whore rolling the dice on the intelligence level of the XWF NOW in challenging the existence of the all-too-obvious amount of not-secret-enough-to-fool-Caedus support and unjustified leeway. Keep it going, Dolly, you're in too deep to turn back from your bullshit now.

The egomaniacal same slippery simpleton who thought my threats of fingerbreaking levied at Trax were aimed at her then pops off from the puss thinking threats from HER breaking my NECK have me pissin' in my Red Wings...once again adopting an assault type I'm fuckin' FAMOUS FOR around here with the violent verbosity. Dolly, you've allowed the façade of who you are to propel into pathos you honestly don't want anything to do with where I'm concerned. Fuck your threats of what you'll do in the ring, I guarantee you won't be breaking anything but a sweat tryin' to take the opposition down. You've surrounded yourself with big names, tall tales and rhino-sized rip-offs for protection against me just like you enjoy the safety that refs, regs and rules provide you in the ring against men who could all kill you backstage if they felt like succumbing to the siren song of slaughter. You'll break my neck? Bitch, all I hafta do is toss inhibitions of forfeited freedom out the window, catch you in public, twist your top around with the torque needed to snap the neck of a child and that ain't a tall order by any means. Howboudat? Of course, I'd much rather treat you to the torturous trauma of say, tying you down, spreading your legs, carving out your pussy with an ice cream scoop and making you munch your own muff while you bleed out but that'd take studious planning and plotting and I'd rather just do something like accidentally stiff you in the ring with Katabasis and hand you over to the EMTs for exterior heart massage before they decide to call you a corpse. You better take a step back and watch yourself, you don't want none of this all-too-legitimate psychopath showin' you just how many ways he can skin a skank. Strike that, keep 'em comin'. With every failed attempt of yours you make it more and more apparent just who the fuck the true terminal threat here is, idiot, and I'll be exploiting every trip and stumble you make in the ring as well, you can guarantee it. You better hope for your sake your crew shows up or the 'odds are evened' bitch because you obviously can't handle me on your own. You snub the airplay restrictions on Savage and say the real proving ground is elsewhere? I say even though I've uploaded less promos than you I've been killing you, just like NOC, every time and if you had to cut it down to 3 on Savage I'd ABSOLUTELY royally whip your ass. Regardless of any more fibs I'm sure you have, you lost the TV title in less than a month under the stress of Savage, pussy. I've been holding onto that same title for THREE months while kicking ass on every fucking card in the meantime so who the FUCK do you think you're foolin'?

Asses thoroughly waxed with words, three superhos now stand at the threshold of Lethal Lottery 4 worried that my skill in smack talk might translate all too well to my in-ring capabilities and crush their expectations of victory. They're right...and I have the last three months under my belt here to back it up. Fuck the coward in Cadryn, the trash in Trax and the fire inside YOU Dolly. I'm Jim Caedus and I'll be spreadin' your jaws, crammin' this cock down your craw and pissin' that fire out from the inside."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX