Here we are in a shed? Yes, that's right in Scully's little man cave. He has made the big shed at the back of the garden his own little Skulldom. Inside he has a leather sofa, a 42" Black Smart TV on a stand, an Xbox One on a shelf with games tidely stacked at the side. He has a punchbag and Body Power Rubber Hex Dumbbells & Rack 3,4,6,8 & 10Kg weights. Skull is sat on a black office chair, a wooden table is placed in front of him. He was looking at an envelope before looking in to the camera which Alfie was holding.

" Welcome to Scullycam, home of the Scullycam, can I take your order? What was that? The Imperial on a stick? It can be arranged. I'm offended I gave Fanny boy a B for effort and clearly thinks I deserve an F. The student is trying to be cocky and teach the teacher? He is telling the man who knows what it takes to win the biggest title in the XWF how to do my shit? Wow... Just wow. He is basically calling me a has-been? And clearly believes my career is tumbling down a hill. It appears he thinks he is superior to me and is telling me how to be me?! No one tells Scully what to do, I am No One's Property.
That new York Yankee doodle has been sending me some mail, I guess he did know where I live cuz he posted this, obviously. Anyway I'll get to that crap momentarily, right now I need to address some more turd that I had to watch a short time ago. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't flattering but hey I had to watch it, I would call that effort wouldn't you, Danny? I sat and I dosed, I tried to keep my eyes open but I did it. Watching your promo's is an achievement in itself. It's painful, over bearing but I gotta do what I gotta do. You say I have no creativity? Are you expecting me to take a leaf out of your book and go through your things in your home? The home where you apparently have a Butler? Jeffrey, Jeeves whatever his name was? Is this meant to impress me? You say I lack effort? Well I can't say the same for you, you're paying your cousin Marvin to pretend to be your be Butler now? Damn, you're desperate. I don't need a Butler cuz I got a woman hahaha. Seriously, I'm a grown man, I can wipe my own ass and cook my own Lasagne, I don't need no snobby Wanker to do it for me. I'm a independent man, I suppose if your sperm ever learns to swim, you might have to learn yourself because how could you teach your kid if you don't know yourself? Maybe you don't want children? I guess mummy always did everything for you?! She not around anymore? She dead? I'm asking all these questions because.. I don't actually know why, because as your little brain has figured out, I don't really care about you!

I know that hurts your little feelings but sometimes the truth has that effect on crybaby, bitches. So you can stop asking me to care about you and stop begging me to go out with you. You're embarrassing yourself, I've told you numpteen times. No equals No and still means NO. You are complaining that you want more from me, that I should be giving you all the attention in the world. I think I'm giving you alot more than you deserve, you ungrateful bastard. First of all, I am giving you an opportunity to start your career here in style by somehow beating me. We all know that ain't going to happen but you are still be given a chance. Secondly, I have acknowledged you more than enough. You've whinged, you've whined, you've cried, all over the fact that I spoke about the likes of Dolly Waters, Vinnie Lane etcetera but I hate to break it to you, they're all way more important than you. Plus I can speak about whatever the fuck I like, the world doesn't revolve around some newbie, rookie who hasn't even lost his first tooth yet. No. I have been more than generous, you should be thanking me for that. This is most times the name 'Danny Imperial' has been mentioned, EVER!

I didn't know you played the organ? I mean it was pretty awful, shocking and the song.. Well that was total cow pat. But you tried and you showed us what we knew all along, you are a talentless, worthless, piece of... Arrr forget it, I don't want to insult shit any more! So you like dancing do you? Dirty Dancing? Grease? Bring It In on? That's dancing right, sorta, cheerleaders. Billy Elliott? Erm.. Step Up? Think we get it now."

Danny Imperial: Said:"But I desire your part in this dance we’re about to dance."

"Okay it kind of sounds but hey I won't judge. Oh wait.. Ive changed my mind, just like that. Are we going to the XWF ball or something? I told you no already. Have you ever wrestled before? We're not having dance off, we're having a fight. Maybe we could have a dance off during the match? But for the most part of it, you're going to be getting your head smashed around the ring, in the ring and wherever else possible. From the get go I said loud and proud that your promo's suck and were crap right? You couldn't think of anything else to say other than the same about mine?
Original Pirate Material, ya listening to da Skull, lock down your aerial.

One promo you repeatedly told me how much you cared and wanted anal sex with yours truly as you took us down memory lane. That's the thing, you need to realise what is important here. Not me losing to Peter Gilmour, not my trip as a kid to WCW. You see what is important is whats going to happen to you at Lethal Lottery and I promise it won't be victory for you. Now you just repeat yourself over and over again about how my promo's are dull? But you couldn't just say it for a little while, you had to say it for the whole thing! Think someone is running out of options. Looked like you had fun at the carnival though and you call me childish? Please don't tell me to grow up again, don't be a hypocrite who tells me I have no mates when you sat on the ride by yourself. Don't call me friend because you need a friend. I like being a loner in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation, no one can be trusted, everyone turns on you at some stage or vice versa. I won the XWF Universal Championship as part of The Union. The Union abandoned me to pursue other things. It happened to me before The Union too, I am the Union now and I can only rely on myself. You may rely on your Butler to butter your bread but I rely on... Me! Anyway let's open the mail you so kindly sent.

Warning: Contains Homosexuality most probably..."

Scully opens the first letter as a familiar song begins to play......

---

---

Scully smiles at the camera as the popular chorus is sung by Dildo, I meant Dido. Scully then starts to drop his lyrics, he raps the letter out loud.

Verse 1
Dear Skull, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn
You must not've got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I write addresses too when I jot 'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man?
How's your son?
I would like a kid too but it's hard when you take it up the bum.
Yes, I'm gay and I suck dick all day,
I wish you liked men like me, I would even pay?
Look man, it's okay I think I understand,
I now gotta role by myself, put my todger in my hand.
Is that how it is? You don't like dat jizzy?
I sucked someone's penis so hard,
It made my head all dizzy!
I'm right here, if you want me to taste your cum? I know I come across a little dumb.
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, ya biggest fan, this is Dan.

The chorus plays again as Scully nods his head and opens the second letter.

Verse 2
Dear Skull, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't want to romance.
Do you wanna talk to me outside of the ring? And see my ding-a-ling?
Come on man you have to, you gotta see my tiny tackle too.
I can show you my barbies man, I have my little Pony,
Aswell as frozen figures yeah, I'm so lonely.
I keep asking you, you just say, "No." Why though?
That's pretty shitty man - you're like my fucking idol
I want to be just like you man, no one likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just want you to care too.
Put some effort in, don't let us be through.
Do my Crack?- See I'm just trying to be gay, yay.
I never knew my father was neither;
He used to always cheat on my mom and bumrape her
I can relate to what you're saying in your promo's,
So when I have a shitty day, I imagine we're are Homos.
Together, forever' that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest
Sometimes I even Wank myself to see how much I jizz,
It's like adrenaline, you should see, the cum tastes so good to me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My boyfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But he don't know you like I know you Skull, no one does
Everytime I see you get some sort of emotional Buzz.
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever
Sincerely yours, Dan
P.S.
We should be together, too

A video from Imperial is then put on during the chorus.
Chorus

Verse 3
Dear Mister I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
I won't let you see my package, I won't let you bum my ass
It's been six hours and still no word. I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my video I'm sending you, I hope you see it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 20 on the freeway
Hey Skull, I drank a fifth of Cola, you dare me to drive?
I love you Skull, more than anyone alive.
I love you more than Natalie, she got me frowning
I'm so jealous, I bet she doesn't lick your rim?
I promise I'll finish with my lover called Tim.
Don't let it be too late. My chin is weaker than Rhonda Rousy
My in ring ability is awful, im so lousy. I need your call,
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I love you, Skull we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me.
See, Skull,—Nat is a bitch! I really want you to taste my spunk?
Hey, Skull, if you don't agree, I'll just get you drunk.
I'd slit her throat, I just want to tie you up. See, I like you
'Cause if I keep trying more, and then you'll give in too?
Well, gotta go, Natalie is still a cow
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?"

Scully ends the song abruptly without giving his own response like Eminem does. He looks into the camera and then just ends the promo without a CARE in the world.