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JimCaedus · (03-25-2017)

When we last saw Micheal Graves, he had fallen for the April Fool’s joke on the booking sheet, and ended up in Mexico, looking for the location of JJ’s hotel party. What he found instead was a local Lucha organization that he made a deal with. He agreed to be featured in their main event of the evening if the promoter agreed to get him out to North Korea in time for the Lethal Lottery Pay Per View, and that’s where we pick up. Later that night and just before our Main Event.

03/24/2017 9:23 pm Tijuana, Mexico

I peek out the curtain, there's maybe 100 or so fans in attendance. Most of them are drunk, all of them are rowdy. This scene looks less like a professional wrestling event, and more like a scene out of that shitty Hulk Hogan movie, “No Holds Barred”. Suddenly there is a tap on my shoulder, I turn around to see the promoter, a short and fat dude who I still didn’t get the name of.

”Are you ready champ?”

”Yeah sure, but who am I fighting again?”

”Our Champion, Doble Grande, and when you lose, I’ll supply you with a ride back to the states and a plane ticket to Korea.”

”Wait, when I lose? Earlier you said that all you wanted out of me was a good show.”

”Yes a good show, and what better show than the big time American wrestler putting over our champion? Now move it, your music is playing!”

The promoter shoves me through the curtain as a foreign song plays over the lackluster PA system in this poor excuse for an area. Once through the curtain, I am met by a large group of screaming fans. I can’t understand anything that they are shouting at me, but I can tell that none of it is very favorable. I walk down to the ring. It’s not a very long walk considering there are only about 30 feet separating the “backstage” area from the ring. Once I make it to the ring two things catch my attention. First, the ropes are much tighter than the XWF rings that I am used to. Second, The ring canvas itself is just as hard as the concrete floor outside. This is definitely not a safe environment for an American wrestler who hasn’t been trained in the art of Lucha. The fans here continue to jeer and shout. I try to play up to them and throw my arms into the air, but I have to quickly duck out of the way of a flying beer bottle. One thing is for sure, this isn’t friendly territory.

Well here he comes, the so-called champion of this God forsaken promotion. Let me tell you right now when I see what walks out from behind that curtain, I can’t believe my eyes. He’s somewhere between 5’8 and 5’10, probably about 250 pounds, and the dumpiest looking luchador that I’ve ever seen. Seriously, this dude makes Nacho Libre look like the epitome of physical fitness. The fans around here love him, though. He is treated as though he is some sort of hero, a legend almost. I don’t buy into the hype, though, all that I see is a lazy out of shape joke. This is the guy that they want me to lose to? Fuck your plane ticket, I’m not taking a dive to this chode!

I wait for him to climb into the ring. He removes his long red cape and climbs to the second rope, facing out towards the crowd as he twirls his right hand in the air at their approval. He hops down and turns his attention towards me next. He walks towards me and we meet in the center of the ring. The referee for this match spouts off a bunch of gibberish in Spanish. I don’t understand any of it, but I can assume that he’s going over rules and what not. Suddenly the bell rings, and this match is underway. Doble Grande walks in close and stands on his toes, trying to stand face to face with me. I shove him back and watch as he falls off balance and tumbles to the ground. Angry he gets up and rushes in. That’s when I decide to say fuck it, and I blow a ball of fire into his face. I didn’t count on the spandex mask catching on fire, but it does and I feel like a terrible person for laughing at the overweight sack of shit running around the ring with his head on fire.

The bell rings, and the match is over. Apparently, I lose via DQ. Oh well, I was told to take a dive right? I head backstage, fighting through the hostile crowd. Once back there I am met by two of the biggest Mexicans I’ve ever seen. They grab me up before I can even react, and the little promoter walks up throwing quite the tantrum.

”What the fuck was that?”

”You said that you wanted me to lose, well I lost.”

[white]Probably not the best time to be a smart ass, but hey, that’s just my style.

”What I wanted was for you to put over my champion! How am I supposed to see tickets to this show now, huh!?”

”Not my problem, I did what you asked. Now hold up your end and help me get to Korea.”

He looks upset. I can literally see his teeth grinding together as we stare at one another. Finally, he breaks the silence.

”Fine… I said lose, you lost. Now I’ll get you to Korea.

A few hours later.

The camera pans across the desert showing the vast nothingness of it all. Finally, we focus in on a lone moving object. As we zoom in, we come to realize that it’s Micheal Graves riding on the back of a donkey. His hands are bound behind his back and tied to the saddle that he is sitting on. He is sitting backward on the donkey and has a blindfold over his eyes. It seems that our hero is in for quite the adventure. Little does he realize that even if he gets out of this mess, that promoter also stole his passport and ID. None of that really matters right now in this moment, though. What does matter is that Micheal can hear the distinct sound of the XWF camera drones, and in doing so, he knows that it’s once again promo time.

”Yeah, you’re right, Cadryn and I didn’t want to fight. Neither of us was too keen on the idea from the moment that Taco chose the teams and the booking sheet went up, but do you want to know what it was that really just made me say FUCK Lethal Lottery? It wasn’t the fact that Cadryn and myself were going to stand on opposite sides of the ring, no, no, no. It was the fact that I was going to be saddled with your

ass for the second show in a row. It was the fact that, despite what you say, you couldn’t be bothered to pull your lips from Mia’s huge cock long enough to strategize and work WITH me to ensure that we moved on to the next round. Oh, but you met me at a bar though right? You even suggested that we met up face to face before we headed into our 3rd round match. That’s true, but the problem is, you showed up to make sure that you could smooth things over from where you attacked me after our match in the previous round. You didn’t show up to talk strategy, you couldn’t even be bothered to participate in the promo that _I_ cut in that bar after the brawl. You just sat back and put away drink after drink while I did all of the work. Now that I’ve hurt the babies butt by calling him out on his shit work rate and lack of motivation, you’re going to find Peter Gilmour’s mythical 5th gear and come at me like an Xtreme God. I’d like to see that Peter, but the fact of the matter is this. Even at your best, I doubt you have the balls to stand toe to toe with me and win.

No instead you are going to do what you always seem to do. That’s come out and talk a lot of shit about how you lost because you were screwed. You know what Pete? I’m tempted to thank you. No, As a matter of fact, I will thank you. Thank you for showing me just how lame and full of shit I’ve been in recent months. Listening to you carry on about how every time that you get a shot a title, and lose it, it’s because of some controversy, some interference or whatever, it just went to show me how pathetic that I sound every time I use that excuse. JJ opened the cage door and screwed me out of the Hart Title a couple of months ago. Colten Kato dropped me at the end of my Universal Title match and cost me that victory. I’ve been so hung up on the fact that I was getting screwed left and right, that I lost sight of the fact that this is how things work, not only in wrestling but in the world in general. Every time that you are given an opportunity to move up, to better yourself, to get yours, there will always be someone who is there trying to work against you. For whatever reasons that they have, be it jealousy or whatever. The fact remains that winners overcome that adversity. Champions overcome it. Legends overcome it. Bitches, however, bitches use it as an excuse. Bitches cry far and wide for all to hear how all of their shortcomings are not the fault of their own, but because of some adversity that they are incapable of dealing with. So I’ll thank you for being the insufferable little twat that you are, because at the end of the day, you’ve taught me not to be such a fucking chode, unless I want to be the next Peter Gilmour, and let’s face facts Petey, nobody around here would ever aspire to be you.

As far as screwing you out of this tournament goes, you’re damn right I’m proud of it! I’m proud of the fact that this year will not mark yet another year that Peter Gilmour makes it to the finals of LL based off luck and good partner draws. Don’t even try to deny it either bitch, everyone around here knows that it’s true! It’s the very same reason why you can make it to the finals so often, but you’ve never actually won the damn thing. Your partner can’t carry your dead weight ass to a victory over themselves! You say that you should have known that I wasn’t going to be your partner. Well NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK! It wasn’t about Cadryn though, it was about the fact that you are a snake in the fucking grass. You blindsided me at the conclusion of our last match. You set the tone that we are not friends. Then when we were paired up together a second time, suddenly it was “I hope we can work together” and “We need to put our differences aside and win this match”. Nah, fuck that! You said that you had to coax me into this match with you by taking Cadryn hostage, that’s fucking bullshit and you know it! This match was booked the second we lost LL! Nobody had to coax me into any fucking thing! A week before Warfare, I already had it in my mind that Graves vs Gilmour was happening at Lethal Lottery. I wanted this match, and I made sure that this match happened by my actions! I even told you before we went into our LL match at Warfare that if we lost, I wanted to face you one on one at the PPV, that I wanted vengeance for your attack on me at the previous show. Does that sound like a guy that has to be coaxed into anything!? Fuck no dude, but it does make the fable of Peter Gilmour sound more favorable if it’s him looking to right some wrong doesn’t it? You’re so Goddamned deluded that it’s pathetic! Between the fact that you barely pay attention to what is going on around you, and your weird revisionist history lessons whenever you get on the mic, it’s no wonder that some people buy into you being a megastar. You’re not a megastar though Gilmour. Nobody here thinks that. None of the fans think that. Instead, what they see is an average worker who was born with luck +11. You’re a fucking joke, Pete, ask anyone. When I first returned to the XWF, I watched you win the Universal Title from Scully and I bought into the hype. I thought Gilmour was THE MAN. Over the next four months, I’ve learned that Gilmour isn’t shit, just some scrub that hangs around the mid card and runs his mouth A LOT. Anywhere else, you would probably be THE MAN, but this is the XWF and this place is full of talent right now. Talent that you have to work your ass off to even have a chance against. With all this talent running around, do you know where you are? You’re sitting here in the mid card with me, and it’s here in the mid card that you are going to suffer a loss that proves just how lame and overrated you really are.

And no Petey, you ARE NOT a dominating force! To be a dominating force, you have to DOMINATE! When is the last time that you dominated anything!? If it’s ever happened, it’s damn sure not been during my stint around here. Fuck, you’re so dominating that I’ve heard tell of a time that Doc D’Ville challenged you to a match and you backed down, wanting no part of it. The worse part of that scenario is the fact that Doc was the Universal Champion, and he was challenging you to a defense. What kind of dominating force backs away from an opportunity to win the Universal Title just because he is outclassed? Spoiler, there is no such thing! Now let me speak honestly for a moment. I’m going to set all of the bravado and bullshit aside for a moment and speak from the heart. Gilmour, I’m a mid carder and I always have been. I know my role, but I’m not happy with it, I know that I can produce better, so I push myself, and I try to put forth the effort to improve. Take my match with Chris Chaos for example. Do you think that anyone gave me a snowball's chance in Hell at winning that match? Fuck no, I didn’t even think that I had a chance at first. I stood opposite a man that had proven that he belonged at the top, and all I had done up to that point was prove that I could manipulate the champion into title match for an undeserving talent. When Chris Chaos challenged me, though, I didn’t turn him down. I didn’t try to walk away like a bitch, and I wouldn’t turn down a match with D’Ville, title or no title. I wouldn’t turn it down because I would simply do the same exact thing that I did for that match with Chaos. I would go into it to win it, and even if I fell short like I did with Chaos, I would turn a few heads along the way. This business is all about opportunity and whenever you place an opportunity in front of me, I will take full advantage of it, and make no mistake, despite my feelings on the subject, it seems that beating you at a major PPV is a huge opportunity. Like I’ve said before, you may suck, but you’re damned good at selling yourself.

Now after I called you out for not having any drive and lacking heart, you come out with one long winded promo, like I knew that you would, and suddenly everything that I said was wrong. No mother fucker, I’m just as right as I was yesterday, just as right as I was two weeks ago, and just as right as I was a month ago. You want to talk about lame jokes and HBO specials? HBO should give you a special covering just how fucking

you actually are! Yes, I will embarrass you. I’ll do it when I prove that you are not the “Superior God” that you think that you are. I’ll do it when I beat you in “your own match”, the Xtreme Death Rules match. Do you think that I’m afraid to bleed? Do you think that I’m afraid to have my bones broken? Do you think that there is a level of punishment that you can dish out that will cause me to back down? Do you honestly think that you are better equipped to deal out any of that punishment than I am? Because let me tell you something, Gilly. I’ve bleed and I’ve made bleed. I’ve been broken and I’ve left broken. I’ve been shot, stabbed, set on fire, and wrapped in barbed wire and I’ve overcome it all through pure desire, but hey your hard, that’s why you lost to Dolly after I blew a little fire.”

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