IDK if it's worthy of QOTM, but I sure would like to see the Ding Dong Twinzz replaced already!


Anyway, this tickled me because of TK's IRL hate of this move!


"Thunder Knuckles hates the catapult maneuver. Absolutely. When we first started partnering up, we were going over what would be a cool finisher, and I was thinking a slingshot into something, and he immediately, sharply, and without hesitation said ‘oh fuck no, we’re not, fuck the slingshot, that move is stupid’. I had to agree, it didn’t make sense whatsoever, but hey, he’s also the master of the foot DDT, so I definitely know he’s onto some strategy I don’t and can’t fathom. Like, I do a ton of crazy ass signature, one of a kind Bobby Bourbon shit in that ring, but I sure as fuck am baffled how to deliver a Thunder Strike correctly and at this point, I’m afraid to ask. Sorry TK. I will perform the catapult toehold on you at March Madness 4, in Tokyo, in front of everybody for all creation, from Earth to whatever hereafter we’ve visited, and sweet work continuing the time travel stuff, it seems cool. I remember when we did it and it was minty fresh." - Bobby Bourbon - HELLFIRE

(03-26-2022, 04:13 PM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: Let's go where?

I didn't really wanna do the Nazi one is all. I would LOVE if folks gave me suggestions more often though!

That's what small-dicked motherfuckers say! - TK

Unless you’re not even trying, everyone is mediocre by default - it takes the best of us to rise. And here’s the part that should give you pause - that’s where you’ve chosen to stay. Everyone can claim they’re the underdog when the odds are against them, just to have an easy excuse when they lose. - Raion Kido

LINKY

Veeter Valenteener -

Quote:"Well I don't need SOFT, Corey Smith!" Intentional? "I need HARD!" ...wut... "ROCK HARD!" Goddamnit Sar, this is YOUR fault! "THE HARDEST! Because Sar isn't going to bat an eye if I go over a LIMP retiree unless I'm the one who makes you limp! And the world knows I'm totally capable of making a guy go limp!" 🤦‍♂️

The goddamn emoji killed me.

10/10 would recommend.

RP: Bite Of Passage
Link: http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=43275

---

*One Time XWF Heavy Metalweight Champion*
*One Time Owner Of Gabe Reno's Man Pussy*

I grace you all with my angelic voice with my rendition of, as Mastermind called it, Monster by Emnimem and RiahannAa.

- Dick Powers.

Bobby’s arm tenses as he squeezes Theo’s nutsack, by the way, but that’s just what’s going on in the scene, not that sweet, sweet word count fluff, the fluff you need, the fluff you crave. Theo is getting no fluff, his balls are in a vice, and that vice is Bobby’s right hand. Theo’s eyes widen, like he’s a fat kid being squeezed into a roller coaster seat by a bored looking twenty-something. Like my eyes. I am large and must need squeezing into roller coaster seats. The employees always look so satisfied to press all their might into my chest and bend it to contort to the safety standards of the machine I’m sitting in and not my chest itself. Tumbili at Kings Dominion is fucking baller. Word count happened. Theo is in for a roller coaster ride.

My testicles!


Word Count Is Important - Bobby Bourbon

Quote:Will I get the deal done, will me and Tommy trade places
I know you love defeat, that's what you think third base is

-Charlie's 24/7 Rap Battle vs Tommy Wish

Got a good chuckle out of me. Well done.

it's been forever, i have a new suggestion of what atara themis-raven said last warfare



Atty:

"I want to apologize to the XWF fans for not having done this sooner, for not letting you be apart of the Relentless celebrations, but in my defense between motherhood, wifedom, and just normal Atty day to day, I've been a little preoccupied handing out L's to the 24/7 challengers so I reached out to my sister's here to make sure this goes off without a hitch."

"The reason I'm out here we all know is that at last Warfare Gary Goth issued his little challenge with his what if's and his self projections and everyone wants to know my response. Well.....Goth....after some thought, mulling over all the scenarios you brought up my response... "

Dramatic Pause.

"My response is....."

"What If....what if..."

"What If Your Mom had swallowed?"

fucking anything please i want a new qotm i love dick powers but it's been months lol

Charlie wants to stare at Atty gifs. Help him.

I didn't see the Atty one he posted on 10/27 - I'll use it!

From Buster Glove's "You're Not On The List"

Big bull balls, they drag me down
Level Up Wrestling, is underground.
Vegas sucks, I hate this town.
Do the right thing, burn it down.
Call me Buster, call me dead.
Dorito crumbs, all in my bed.
I shaved my balls, I shaved my head.
Goose shit green, bank statement red.

This was my dream, this and ice cream
Always wanted just, to be on TV
P-90-X, and break some necks
Then I learned how, to count to three
Strippers smokin’ weed, in my hall
But they work here, does and bucks,
I can’t beat Vaughn, tried way too long
Even punched him, in the nuts.

Wake up Sunday, everybody punch me.
I’m still hungry, time to work
I’m not funny, make less money
Then single mothers paid to twerk
Red-alert, your mom’s a jerk
check out my website, we got merch.
It’ll blow your mind, and bottom line
You’ll get laid, before the second verse.

C-C-P-E, let’s get high
Let’s get Pepsi, let’s get fries.
Have a two-piece, leg and a thigh
Not too spicy, don’t wanna die
I got Wi-Fi, internet
Heavyweight, X-dub-F
I eat L’s, I got bad breath
I break hearts, cardiac arrest.

[chorus]

Is it chickens, or is it ducks
When I get booked, I fuck shit up
When I want does, I get bucks
I don’t like snakes and Chris Page sucks.

Is it chickens, or is it ducks
When I get booked, I fuck shit up
When I want does, I get bucks
I don’t like snakes and Chris Page sucks.

[end chorus]

You ain’t gonna pin me, you ain’t gonna sub me
you ain't gonna kiss me, you ain't gonna hug me
snug as a bug, in a rug on drugs
just do something, please just love me
I don't wanna go, to my match Sunday
Or the day after, please don’t judge me
You can cheat me, you can hurt me
You can push me, please just rub me.

It’s Christmas time, I feel all right
Scored some Oreo’s, do a line
Finn’s got my back, Finn’s got my side
We wanna get our ass kicked on prime time
I'm like hello…I'm like hi
do you wanna hive five, do you wanna die
do you wanna throw up, do you wanna cry
do you want to try me, do you want pie?

I got a mission, Names on a list
And I don’t dance, and I don’t fish
Donny, X, Peter, Chris
Merry Christmas, go eat shit
I lost to X, made me bitter
Lost to Peter, even quicker
He beat me twice, and I want liquor
I got my junk stuck in my zipper.

I play the horns, the horns of death
I just want gold, and I’m obsessed
I’ll crush your soul, I’ll take your breath
You wanna go, just be my guest
I’m not alone, the voice in my head
Tells me I’m handsome and great in bed
Who need money, who needs friends
I count lights on E-S-P-N

[chorus]

Is it chickens, or is it ducks
When I get booked, I fuck shit up
When I want does, I get bucks
I don’t like snakes and Chris Page sucks.

Is it chickens, or is it ducks
When I get booked, I fuck shit up
When I want does, I get bucks
I don’t like snakes and Chris Page sucks.

[end chorus]

[Outro Music]

And if you don’t know... now you know…
Represent, Santa Claus… ninja.
Merry Christmas to all… and to all a good night…

“PETER VAUGHN. First Appearance Date: Relentless Night 3! September 26th, 2021! Remember that night, Vaughn-o? THE OCW INVASION OF XWF! Vaughn, Riddle & Cashe AND Bam Miller AMBUSH Universal Champion Alias!”

…

“I mean, okay, that turned out to be a MASSIVE failure. Most of you got fired from OCW weeks later under…” Finger quotes. “mysterious circumstances.”

The creature leans in with a hand hiding his mouth.

“*cough*Budget cuts*cough*…”

“Thank God SUCCESS™ Theo showed up, ready to sign all you unemployed losers to XWF contracts, huh, Vaughnerino? Say what you will about Theo, but he fought off a ‘takeover’ single-handedly. And that ‘single hand’ only had to sign three checks.”

The shape giggles


-Flynn

https://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=45465

(01-31-2023, 07:24 PM)Dolly Waters Said: “PETER VAUGHN. First Appearance Date: Relentless Night 3! September 26th, 2021! Remember that night, Vaughn-o? THE OCW INVASION OF XWF! Vaughn, Riddle & Cashe AND Bam Miller AMBUSH Universal Champion Alias!”

…

“I mean, okay, that turned out to be a MASSIVE failure. Most of you got fired from OCW weeks later under…” Finger quotes. “mysterious circumstances.”

The creature leans in with a hand hiding his mouth.

“*cough*Budget cuts*cough*…”

“Thank God SUCCESS™ Theo showed up, ready to sign all you unemployed losers to XWF contracts, huh, Vaughnerino? Say what you will about Theo, but he fought off a ‘takeover’ single-handedly. And that ‘single hand’ only had to sign three checks.”

The shape giggles


-Flynn

https://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=45465

"Hey, Misfit Dipshits! Why'd you steal Barney!?!"

"Let me guess? Because YOU SUCK!?! Like really suck! Lead by a man whose only claim to fame in the last, what? Year? Two years? Who's keeping track? Seems that guy's on vacation too! Point is, when your superior is a guy whose only remarkable moment in recent memory is shitting the bed against a monkey man with a brain the size of a pebble, you're pretty much left being undeniably the least talented nincompoop in a sea of Misfits."

"Well, except for maybe "The Hunteress", God bless her fucking heart!"

There is a moment of fondness for Scarlet's illiterate ass, but it quickly passes without so much as a single crude comment about her body.
- Gravy
https://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=45543

This is single-handedly the greatest opening to a trash talk portion I have ever seen.

Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)

Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)

Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020

Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022

Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)

Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason

Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)

Matter oh fact, the first time I ever choked the old one-eyed monster out was in this very outhouse when I found my Daddy’s playboy stashed under a stack of Field & Stream. What do ya expect a young man to do when he lays eyes on Claudia Schiffer in all her natural glory?

- "Mad Dog" Mark Wright