Say Hello to Sugah! Prt. One
Time: 1045
Date: Aug. 4th 2016
Location: Detroit, Michigan

Bearded War Pig and Smut had just raided a trap house the night before and kidnapped a lieutenant of a Detroit gang known as the “Kings and Aces” named Killer J. Looking for some intelligence and to just send a message not to fuck with the gun dealing white boy. They brought him to there hangout in an old abandoned firehouse, that they have done some remodeling and spliced the place up, rooms for everything imaginable. The Furniture nothing special most likely found in the trash or picked up from Goodwill, Salvation Army, or some church donation center.

You know not a Holiday Inn but for Detroit it had character, of course having the fire pole made the place a little easier to call home. Bearded War Pig is just waking up from the tossing and turning he tries to call sleep, he is stark naked and sleeping on a stained mattress on the wooden floor. His room or his nest in his terms is the room at the very top almost like it was the attic, of course he fixed and cleaned it up a little, but not much.

Bearded War Pig yawns and stretches his arms with his eyes all squinty and crusted over. He tosses the red sheet to the side of his naked body and rolls over to the edge of the mattress, placing his feet on the wooden floor he sits up. Licking his lips and rubbing his chest hair, he looks over to his alarm clock sitting on cardboard box, it reads 10:45 AM.

“Fuck my ASS, that pussy is still tied up down in the basement...”

Bearded War Pig quickly stands to his feet and rubs his eyes clean before taking off toward his door which is on the floor and leads to a narrow spiral staircase which leads to the third floor of the old fire house. He quickly begin his way down, skipping one step at a time, until he hits the bottom step and takes off at almost a regular run speed but not quite as fast. Reaching the second door on the left, B.W.P puts on the breaks and grasps the doorknob, twisting and pushing he burst right in to the room.

Still completely naked and right in front of the lucky lady of the night, Smut must have called over after B.W.P took care of their prisoner. She too was almost naked, in her panties looking for her bra. Startled by B.W.P she quickly jumps back in bed where Smut lays balls deep in an almost life size panda bear stuff animal. She quickly attacks Smut with a furry of quick finger taps to his face.

“Holy shit Smut get up, there is a robber!”

Bearded War Pig just starts laughing at the ladies reaction, she must have never been over before. Before B.W.P can gather his barring, Smut starts to toss a little, but just to try and thrust deeper in to the stuff animal. Bearded War Pig shakes his head at the site, which only added to his laughter as he begins to snort a little. The woman is definitely confused by now, what kind of robber breaks out into laughter during a job.

“Okay this shit isn’t funny what the hell is happening?”

The half naked lady demands with a shaky voice, not knowing to be scared or pissed.

“Hey sorry sweet tits, I am no robber, I am just the depraved room mate, I don’t think Smut remembered we have some business to handle today, like right now. Actually like two hours ago at least.”

Bearded War Pig explains, he then stands almost in a power stance with his morning wood fully erect. Smut’s booty call kind of stares for a second intrigued now knowing he isn’t a robber. She shakes her head and remembers this naked man just barged in on her trying to get dressed. The rage begins to cycle through her blood.

“I don’t give a fuck if you two dipshits have heart surgery to get to, you need to get the fuck out and let me get dressed you fucking pervert!”

Bearded War Pigs eye begins to twitch as he bites his lower lip, almost loosing his shit completely, he takes one deep breath, before even finishing exhaling, he explodes right in her face.

“I don’t fucking know where when I said we have business to attend to, where I extended your ratchet hood hoe ass a invite to have a fucking opinion on the matter! Get your cheap Wal-Mart slut attire, get to using that shoe lace express, and get the fuck outta here!”

Bearded War Pig has now stepped behind her and started pushing her towards the door, while grabbing her clothes, he then tosses her outside the door on her ass. Followed by her bra a miniskirt and low cut tank top with some glitter design.

“Thank you for giving my pal there some other place than his socks to dump a load for a change. If he said he would pay you, I hope you except the excuse that he is a prostitute as well so you cancel each other out! Have nice day slut.”

Bearded War Pig Smiles really over dramatically, before slamming the door and quickly charging Smut’s bed. B.W.P leaps in the air and lands directly knee first into Smut’s rib cage sending him and his spooning buddy crashing to the floor of the right side of the bed. Smut instantly hops back up hands and head over the top of the mattress staring directly at B.W.P with a look of hate.

“What the fuck!? Where the hell is Tiff... No Sa... No, Jackie, yeah that is it where the fuck is Jackie?”

“I sent her on her way, don’t worry I didn’t pay her, I told that hoe to get a real job! Just fucking with you, but we have more important shit to deal with than play tickle the pickle. Dammit, we have a fucking kidnap victim in our basement remember.”

Bearded War Pig smiles and keeps the last part of his statement to almost a whisper just incase Jackie or whatever her name is still outside the door. Smut blows some air intensely out his mouth and then out of his nose before speaking again.

“You are a dick, you know that, you’re immature, and you don’t have any respect towards women. Jackie was a decent girl, she could possibly make something of herself.”

“Yeah whatever bro, just get dressed get your ass down stairs and start fucking with the kid, I want him to meet Sugah!”

To be continued...

Witty Title Here
Time: 0800
Date: Sep. 14th 2016
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland

The camera comes in with a shot of Bearded War Pig Lightly grappling with his wrestling trainer James Grudner, nothing serious since his tag tournament was later today. Just enough work and sweat to get the blood flowing as well as keeping everything in B.W.P’s head fresh. A beeping noise begins to go off from a stopwatch that is on the mat outside the circle. James pushes off B.W.P’s chest breaking the lock up.

“Okay that is enough for now, we have to keep everything we do today light, so why don’t you take a minute break and then we will stretch it out, do a feel body weight exercises then go grab a strong healthy, filling breakfast?”

“Sounds great to me boss man! You are the man who knows about this wrestling thing, bahahaha.”

“That is why Arney pays me the big bucks!”

They both chuckle, James walks towards his gym bag and water bottle, while B.W.P quickly goes to his phone, just in case anyone has been trying to get ahold of him. He has one unread message from Arney Greyson his agent, usually just trashing his messages, he opens this one. It reads...

“Hey how are you B.W.P? Just wanted to let you know you have a match back in Las Vegas this Saturday against one half of the tag champs Robbie Bourbon. Also he has cut a promo already, I sent it in an attachment. Hope you are still in shape as when you where in the Marine Corps, lots and lots coming up.”

Bearded War Pig opens the attachment and begins watching what Bourbon had to say about the match. Bearded War Pig chuckles and closes his phone before turning back toward James, who has already begun stretching. Bearded War Pig joins in, as they hit almost every muscle group twice and fifteen minutes they finally finish. Bearded War Pig shakes James’ hand and smiles.

“I know I agreed to breakfast right after this, but I just found out I have a match Saturday now against one of the tag champions Robbie Bourbon. I want to use this time since the camera is already shooting my warm up why not say some things.”

“Yeah no problem, see you in the cafeteria when you’re done. No big deal.”

Bearded War Pig nods in agreement and turns back facing the camera, taking one step at a time his bare chest rippling from the warm up and stretch session. He is barefoot and wearing a pair of black basketball shorts tied tight to his waist. Arriving about two feet in front of the camera his massive body consumes most of the lens.

“Well my peeps and haters, it has come to my attention that a few days here after my tag tournament, I will be in a cage match with Robbie Fucken Bourbon! Main fucken Event, that will be my third show and I already am head lining, the XWF obviously knows where the show is at, no what I mean?! This is great news, more bodies to drop.

Some might think how the hell will he be prepared for a cage match just days after a tag tournament, well it is simple, I will bust my ass like on a work up for deployment! This dog is always prepared to do combat, it’s in my blood, and my whole families. Since the beginning of time they have fought in wars. So Bourbon if you where hoping I might not be at one hundred come Saturday from this tag tournament just hours away, I fucking will! Hell I will be one hundred and ten percent!

Plus it is a fucking cage match, I will get to demonstrate how hardcore I am willing to go for victory, basically no rules in a cage, you better inject yourself with rabies before entering. It is going to be one hell of a dogfight, I mean two proud Americans throwing it all on the line inside a steel cell. I don’t know about you Robbie boy but I am getting a stiffy thinking about all the hell that will be raised, blood shed, and carnage crafted.

I saw your little promo too by the way, you think I am whacko, well you or whomever is right, I am fucking whacked out of my mind. I have been to war and I have seen shit, you say I can’t escape damnation twice? Already danced with the devil more than once my friend, hell haveth no furry on me! Been shot multiple times and in many explosions, multiple tours, being in a cage with you will be like riding a bike. Except in this case you never learned.

So now you are on your bike trying to be like me except you crash real hard on the cement and bust your skull, blood everywhere, me standing over you Bourbon. Kind of like how the cage match is going to go. You all bloodied and me standing victorious and ready to be coming for your tag team belts.

It is a shame I will have to do this to a proud good American, but being a Marine I know sometimes things just happen with no control over it. I am a survivalist, even if you are my brother, I have been pitted against you and that is just shit luck for you! Oink, Oink Mother Fucker!”

Bearded War Pig then smacks the cameraman’s camera out his hand, as it shoots a few seconds of feet and legs before going to static.

End Scene.