Roxy are you sure you know where you're going?

The hot pink convertible raced down the black highway in the middle of the night, the desert on either side glowing with yesterday's heat. Twin heads of blond hair flap in the wind like flags of surrender.

Of course! Don't start, I never get to drive!

Yeah, well, there's a reason for that.

Then the two blonds lurch forward as brakes screech, tires licking the macadam and leaving spiraling trails across the lanes. A small turtle slowly marches across the road just inches from the convertible's front bumper.

What the fuck, dude?

Vinnie! I almost hit that turtle! You've got to help him across.

Are you nuts, dude? It's the middle of the night, I'll get hit by a car!

Please baby? I don't want him to get hurt...

Loverboy sees the tears welling up in Roxy Cotton's eyes, and he decides to just do what he does best... make the woman happy.

He opens his door and then slams it shut again quickly as a car races by, honking its horn. He turns to Roxy who's still pleading with her eyes, and he then gets out of the car, hurries to the small turtle, and then scurries across the road with it held out in front of him like it were a bomb.

OW! He's fucking biting me dude! I'm trying to help you you little asshole! What the fuck?!!

Finally, Loverboy reaches the embankment at the side of the highway and drops the turtle into some scrub brush, where it sits hissing at him. Loverboy gives him the finger.

It's when he heads back to the car that he notices the green sign beside them on the road.


SAN JOSE!?!!? Roxy, babe, how did you get us all the way here? We're supposed to go to VEGAS!

Oh... um... I can get us back?

No way, dude. No way. Scoot over. San Jose... I can't believe it...

Roxy pouts and slides over into the passenger seat, allowing the Universal Champion to get behind the wheel and turn the convertible around by illegally hopping the median and heading back the other way into the night.