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Jon Willis · (05-04-2016)

"I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like... is any of this for real, or not?"

The lens cap in front of his camcorder is suddenly removed, causing a bit of a flare, as Jon Willis extravagantly reveals his rather mundane current scenario: sitting alone in his apartment in the dead of night, composing another vlog for his YouTube channel.

"How's that for dramatic? Did I get the timing down? This is all a bit new to me."

Jon chuckles.

"Lately I've been researching and appreciating the more... theatrical aspects of the XWF. It's hard not to notice how many colorful characters the XWF currently boasts. It's one of the reasons I love this place, but it's also one of the reasons I sometimes wonder if the XWF is the right fit for me. In this world, the XWF's world, you can draw names out of a hat and probably find someone who worships Satan, or believes himself to be Death, or is a monster created by science or fantasy or maybe even both. And then there's little 'ol me: Jon Willis, ex-convict. It makes me wonder sometimes."

Jon scratches his chin, thinks, and speaks.

"Sometimes I just wonder if a more traditional pro wrestling organization would be a better fit for me. You know the ones I'm talking about: where a bad guy is a bad guy because he only cares about himself, not because he worships Satan and wants to bring about Armageddon. A fed where a good guy gets cheered because he puts on a great match out of respect for the fans, for himself, and for the business. And not just because he's better and funnier at calling another man a

than his opponent."

Jon smirks.

"But the truth of the matter is this: that's the easy road for guys like me. And I don't get to have it easy. Not if I want to accomplish my goals. Instead of having a guy tie up with me like you're supposed to do at the start of a wrestling match, I get Frodo Smackins licking my arm like the depraved maniac he is. Instead of a wild free-for-all with four tough opponents, I get to try and deal with the fact that Ambrogio seems to be able to reappear and disappear at will. And now I'm up against a Satanist who appears to be the Satanic version of a middleman: making deals on behalf of the Devil, and enforcing the terms of the contract if there's a breach. And yet I keep hearing this single solitary thought echo in my head, the same one I used to illustrate my point very effectively, at least in my opinion, when Frodo claimed he'd follow me around the world just so he can dump shit on my head."

"Fucking bring it.

Jon looks at the camera with fire in his eyes.

"Bring it. All of it. Bring me the psychos and the crazies, the demons and the monsters, the killers and the dark gods of death. Bring me the greatest threats the XWF has to offer, and let's see how I do against them. Because I'm here to stay. I've got plenty left to prove, and I'm still hungry for competition. I came up short in my bid for the X-Treme Championship, but I didn't lose. That's my consolation prize: I'm still unbeaten in the XWF, home to the best wrestlers in the world. And yet it's still not enough."

Jon shrugs.

"I'm hanging in there with some of the best the XWF has to offer and still walking out with an undefeated record, and it's not enough. It's not enough because I'm not here to take part. I am here to take over. I'm here to prove that one man, the right man, one little mortal man can stand toe-to-toe with the monsters and demons and vampires and all the other things that go bump in the night. I'm here to prove that we, us puny little humans, with all our frailties and sins, we don't go down without a fight. No matter what the odds. I think I'm just the man to prove to folks like Nico LaVey that no gods are necessary. No "good" Gods or "evil" Gods or faceless Gods or many-eyed Gods, no Thunder Gods or Rain Gods. Just us, and our faith in ourselves."

"Because it all comes back down to faith, doesn't it?"

"More and more, as we head closer and closer to Savage Saturday Night, I'm realizing how much faith will be a factor in my match with Nico. Nico, your faith in your God has led you to do incredible things. And horrible things. Terrible things. Yet I stand committed in my belief: your faith is a lie. The fact that you've so far remained silent in your rebuttal speaks volumes. Touched a nerve, did I? Or maybe you're too busy being Satan's Little Errand Boy to bother to respond? Or, I know it, how about the classic defense that I'm not worthy of a response given my status as a lowly human worm?"

"You're the punchline of a joke that was never funny to begin with, Nico. All the time you've spent as a loyal servant has been a waste. The piles of bodies you've stacked up in tribute are nothing more than testaments to how misguided our world can get. You're not an evil man because you've served Satan, oh no. You're an evil man because you've wasted so much time in a world where every second is precious. I know a little something about how valuable time is, Nico: I spent six years holed up in a cell. You want to talk Hell, Nico? Try being a convicted felon in today's justice system."

Jon laughs bitterly.

"But I promised myself I wouldn't stand on that soapbox for long. Just know this, LaVey: Hell is a cell. The things I've seen... your God doesn't scare me. Not just because I believe your God and, in fact, all Gods don't exist. But even if your religion is the one in a million that got it right, that Satan is the big power controlling the cosmos... nothing you've described in your many levels of Hell could match what I went through inside that pit of a prison. So bring your best and do your worst, errand boy."

Jon grins.

"I've been asking myself this question a lot lately, Nico: what's the price of faith? Just because I'm an Atheist doesn't mean I don't have faith. Faith means so many different things to so many different people, but at least to me, it's a belief that has no logical basis in fact but remains a strongly-held conviction. People don't just walk on water or turn water into wine, but Jesus did because a book written hundreds of years after the man's death tells us he did, and we're supposed to believe it because that's what it means to be a good Christian."

"And on the other end of the spectrum, we've got Satan and all the things you're supposed to do to glorify him, based on the faith that your glorifications will be noted and you will be rewarded as a faithful servant to your dark God. If you kill enough virgins, if you sacrifice enough goats, if you spread enough chaos and cause enough bloodshed, Satan will... what? Bring you into his loving embrace? Reward you with the coziest little section of the burning, blighted hellscape he calls home? Let you lead an army when Armageddon arrives, so you can then be a King over the charred remains of a wasted planet?"

"And I'm the crazy one for having faith that humanity will persevere?"

Jon looks incredulously at the camera.

"I'm the lunatic for thinking that we will rise up and overcome? I'll grant you, it hasn't been easy. One of my best friends back in the day, before I went away to prison, he was the classic pessimist: he was an Atheist like me, but rather than have faith that we as a species would become the champions of our own destinies, he believed we were actually just a bunch of evolved apes running around blindly, trying not to nuke each other. To me, it was only a matter of time and effort before humanity evolved to the point where miracles would be an everyday occurrence. To him, it was only blind dumb luck that stopped us from all killing ourselves and it was only a matter of time until one person pressed the wrong button at the wrong time and then the nukes fly and millions of years later a bunch of evolved cockroaches debate whether or not humanity ever really existed."

Jon chuckles.

"I still miss that clever bastard. We had some interesting conversations, he and I. I admit, I don't look him up because I'm worried what he'll say. He must find it hilarious that I still have my faith in humanity given the fact that I've now taken a life and spent six years witnessing the absolute worst of humanity firsthand. But that's where the 'faith' part comes in, I guess. Despite all I've gone through, all I've seen, all I've done... I still have faith in humanity. Yet, you may ask, do I have faith in myself?"

Jon grins.

"That's a discussion for another day. Just know this, Nico: with or without me, I think humanity is destined for greatness. Not because God or Satan tells us so, not because He or She or It commands that if we sacrifice enough and slave enough and worship enough, He or She or It will bestow on us the paradise He or She or It keeps promising. I believe humanity is destined for greatness because we've proven time and time again that the impossible and the impassable are only matters of time and dedication. We've done tremendous things and terrible things as a species, Nico. But we're still here, we're still progressing, and we don't need you or your dark God to tell us we're not doing it right."

"I think I've got you scared, Nico. I think I've got you beat. So I want to ask you again, LaVey: what's a God to a non-believer? Your threats of hellfire and brimstone continue to fall on deaf ears. We are the masters of this world, Nico. Us. Humans. The very species where, if your God does in fact exist, he apparently feared and hated our potential so much that he rebelled against his creator. We, Nico. We are the god-breakers. Satan isn't the first. And he won't be the last. Just ask yourself how many people out there still worship Thor or Mars."

Jon shrugs.

"Not many of them left, are there? And it's only the beginning. That's what you people fear most, isn't it Nico? The only way to win is to not play the game, but the game is all you have. Thousands of years have been spent debating and raging and warring in the name of This God or That God or His God or Her God. But it's the atheists that are the real threat. So your people mock us, and you outlaw us, and you condemn us to whatever Hell you think non-believers are destined to wind up in. It scares you that we don't believe. It scares you even more when we continue to not believe despite all the punishments you give us. And it frightens you and all your armies and worshippers and saints and preachers, all of them, it frightens all of you down to your very cores when you realize that we're spreading."

"My name is Legion, because we are many. See you Saturday."

Jon turns off the camera and the scene fades.

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