Hayden Panettiere, famous Hollywood actress, closeted clown whore.

She stands on the balcony of her billion dollar mansion, overlooking the vast and beautiful HogNose sea. She smiles exquissetly to herself while the waves roll one over the other. Soon, the chill in the air gets to her and she decides to retire to her bedroom... The light is out and only a candle lights the elegant room. Hayden sits down upon the bed, one knee crossed over upon the surface as the other dangles off the side. Hayden grabs a book from her nightstand and flips through it-- "Magic Spells for Magic People". Hayden continues to smile gleefully as she flips through page after page.

SUDDENLY, the door bursts open and Hayden lets out a shriek!

Hayden: SHRIEK!!!

See. A person clad from head to toe in black busts the door down, spears Hayden onto her bed and starts smackin' her around with a large mouthed bass. The figure then blows a raspberry on her belly which causes Hayden to giggle and fart. Then shart. Oh god, Hayden crapped her panties. The figure then bitch slaps Hayden. With a toy poodle. See what I did there? NEVERMIND, fuck you. Then the figure stands on the bed and jumps up and down a few times on the bed and this disrupts Hayden cuz she's trying to read her book for a spell on how to cast a poop stain out of 1,000 dollar, frilly little girly panties.

The figure is then joined by a second black-cloaked figure who is a tad smaller and has huge fucking bumps protruding from their chest. Two of 'em. Probably tumors or something, I dunno. Did I mention I never passed the second grade OH MY GODDESS IT'S CAN OF MACE! Plus they hold an actual mace in their other hand. They pass the actual mace over to their accomplice, who kills the miniature poodle and smears its blood all over Hayden's semi-gorgeous face. The other figure then sprays the can of non-pointy mace into the face of Hayden, blinding her temporarily as the blood spills down and soaks her breasts. OHHH, now I know what that shit was in the other figures shirt.

Sex sells. Anyway.

The two figures pull Hayden off the bed, wrap her arms behind her with a boa constrictor and set fire to the remains of the poodle. They must really hate dogs. The figures toss Hayden into a huge duffel bag. The figure with the boobs takes off her black mask.....





IT'S HOLLY FUCKING J FROM DEGRASSI!!! And you better fucking believe she has a rack that would make your girlfriend jealous. Cuz you'd be looking at her rack. Holly's, not your gir-- ... nevermind.

Holly J kicks the ever loving shit out of the bag, before dropping a Muta elbow, pinpointed for what may be Hayden's chest. Cuz Hayden's is small. Stupid fucking cock bitch.

Holly pulls the duffel bag along the floor, as it bumps against various things and Hayden Whatsherface lets out little dog-like yelps all the while. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, DOG SLUT!!!"

The other figure opens the door and Holly tosses the bag into a grocery cart. She takes out a baseball bat and repeatedly whacks the bag over and over and over and over and over and over and over and OVER AGAIN TILL HAYDEN MAY VERY WELL BE GOD-DAMNED DEAD. The non-Holly J figure starts to push the grocery cart while Holly J skips along behind them singing "Whatever It Takes". The theme from Degrassi. If you don't know it, FUCK YOU.

But I digress. ;)

--30 minutes later--

Holly J and the masked man are shoving the shopping cart into a very shabby looking apartment. Holly continues to smack the bag over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN with the baseball bat. ^__^ The masked man takes the bat and sets it on fire and lights the bag on fire. ^.^ Screams escape the bag as Holly rips the bag open and dumps the contents out... a bloody, beaten and charred Hayden Whateverthefuck. XD The masked man and Holly begin to lay the boots into Hayden, stomping her into oblivion. SUDDENLY, the kitchen door swings open and in comes Ann-Thraxxx McVeigh!!!



"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN' ON?!"

Holly J: I'M HOLLY J FROM DEGRASSI, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP RATCHET SKANK OR I'LL CUT YOU INTO A MILLION FUCKING PIECES WITH MY NON-EXISTANT DICK!!!

"...Ok."

Ann heads back into the kitchen to whip up some gat dam ham sammiches. And some whips. And whip cream most likely...... ^______^



Holly J: Ok hun, take your mask off.

?: Alright, babe.

And of course it's Ophelia.

Ophelia: So, what do we do now that Hayden Panettiere is half-way dead?

Holly J: We? YOU go to work on a blog to cut over Rebel's non-showing, flat-assed, small-titted, fake ass, ratchet ass, skank ass BULLSHIT BITCH ASS SELF. I'm gonna go smoke a fat blunt. Be back in ten, sweets.

Ophelia: Of course, my dear.

Holly J reaches into the shopping cart and pulls out a pack of blunts from Canada cuz America sucks. Ophelia heads over to the computer and logs into his blog to write a scathing 1,000 word diary entry against Rebel Star. Cuz he a girly nerd. Ann walks into the room, holding three sandwhiches, she heads outside to give one to Ann, then she heads INside to hand one to Ophelia. He asks her to take a digital picture of something while he works on his post.

~ + ~

Dear Diary,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Truly, the one thing that keeps me locked in this struggle of gaining a winning advantage over my opponents is my sheer lack of focus.

Fuck that.

I'm no longer lost. I have focus, I have drive, and I have a match with one of THE most brilliant Stars on the XWF roster, Rebel Star. She and I have traded verbal barbs in the past. Thing is, words can only get you so far. When it comes right down to it, the only thing that gets us ahead in this life is action. Action equals results. Action equals victory. With victory comes the spoils of a battle well fought. There is now nothing standing in the way of my road to redemption. Ann is here, pushing me forward, harshly, sternly, yet with the precision of a decades-long expert. She knows what it takes to make it through hell... and every day, I learn something new.

And now, in addition to Ann, I have another hand guiding me. That of Holly J from the Canadian teen drama, Degrassi. She may have seemed like a delicate flower on the show, but in real life she is a brutal, hard-edged, killing machine. Holly has been training me in kick-boxing and other facets of MMA and submission, while Ann has been training me in wrestling; suplexes and high-flying manuevers that will without a doubt leave Star stunned... Queenie, I've been watching your work. How does it feel to know you lost your opportunity at the second most prestigious title in this company? How does it feel to know you lost to not only the supposed "lesser" star chick, not only the NEW Xtreme Champion in Unknown Soldier, but my pal Reeve's very own champion, the Anarchy title holder, the guy that beat YOU for that belt on Anarchy's debut. He beat you twice, honey, and trust me... I'm a far better challenge than Jon Willis could dare dream to be.

I am OPHELIA, FUCKING, MCVEIGH, and I will slaughter your dreams. I will eviscerate your hopes. I will MURDER your aspirations. And I WILL leave you coughing up blood on the canvas while the world spins before your eyes, the glare of the lights penetrating your retinas as you succumb to the feeling I've grown all too weary; loss. I'm not the same man I was when I first stepped into this company. I'm a fucking monster hell bent on destruction and success at any cost. I am no longer content with proving myself to others, I'm here to prove everything to the man in the mirror. I'm not some freak to be ignored or ridiculed. I'm the thing that lurks in the back of your mind when you step through a darkened hallway. I'm the creature that feasts on your fears, I AM THE FORSAKEN FRIGHTMARE. People don't know what that means, why on EARTH I chose it as my moniker...

But they will.

Ann saved me from a career of failure when she shot Alice in the back of the head and left her dead, bleeding and lifeless. Ann is the best thing to happen to me since I chose wrestling as my proffession... with my new friend Holly J trailing not too far behind. Rebel, I have a team. A posse. People to help motivate me and pull me forward. You. Have. No one. You have people that you barely know in this company patting you on the back here and there, for sure. But on the inside? You KNOW your a hollow, empty being with no one to rely on. And I know precisely how you'll respond. "I don't NEED any one." But after three straight losses, I'm sure even you can tell the truth is slowly showing through the cracks. It began on Anarchy. It continued on Warfare. And it WILL continue on SSN when this little battle of bickering we've found ourselves in since I debuted comes to a head. You are good, no doubt about it.

But I'm better. And I always will be.

SSN will merely be the beginning of my trek to the pinnacle of this business. My mission to save this company, its fans, and the industry itself was a failed endeavor from the start. And for that? I am thankful. Because from the very FIRST day I laced up a pair of boots, I should have been focused on one thing and one thing alone; Winning. And now, I sit here, staring at this screen, with six losses to my name. No more. I may come up short every once in a while, but I won't allow myself to be a punching bag any longer. Every match, every ounce of strength and determination. Every night, all my focus and heart. Every opponent, all I have to give. Because anything less will land me right back where I began. And I will NOT allow myself to succumb to that downward spiral...

...I will BECOME the man you fear.

Thanks to Ann, and now thanks to Holly, I AM focused, driven, and ready to change the world's perception of Icarus Jinx, aka Ophelia McVeigh. Born in Ireland, bred in America, and bleeding across the world to show myself that no matter how many bones I break, how many concussions I take, I CAN overcome all the hurdles that have been and will be placed before me.This isn't an idealogical mission anymore. This isn't me trying to "save" misguided, lost souls. My soul was lost and I saved it with my own two hands. No thanks to Alice, Holly, or even Ann, I saved my inner self from being a weeping, blading bitch who's only way of escape was a scalpel to the wrist.

I've surpassed the past. I'm living for the present, with my eyes set on the future. And Rebel? You will prove to be nothing more than a bump in the road. A talented, skillful, deadly bump... but one I shall overcome. Because as deadly as you may be?

I am on a higher plane.
Get on my level, bitch.

-- O.M.

~ + ~

Ophelia finishes the blog... or so we think. He places at the bottom below his initials a small post-script;

P.S.; Rebel... I found a way to display EXACTLY what will happen to you by the end of our match together. I will BREAK you, hun. I will dismantle you and shred you to the core. Your blood will cover the mat and after all is said and done, you'll look like Hayden Panetteire after a flesh eating, rabid wolverine rips her to pieces. Don't believe me? Maybe this will make a believer out of you.

- - -

After this, Ann, mouth smeared with blood, uploads the photo she took to Ophelia's blog, and we find what remains of the lovely Miss Panatteire-- a blood covered corpse, bite marks crossing alongside her throat, a few fingers bitten off, her eyes gauged out, her hair ripped from the root to show large patches of hair loss, the hair that's left soaked in crimson, her jaw wired open using rusty metal and every single one of her teeth torn out thanks to a pair of pliers... Blood spills from her gaping mouth, dripping on her once gorgeous, dove white night gown, one of her legs has been removed thanks to the use of a chainsaw cutting right through the bone, and the other has been knifed, displaying the word 'STAR' down the side.

Ophelia: Ann... thank you. Your work is truly magnificent, darling.

Ann: The bitch put up a struggle, but once I swung a hammer into her kneecap she was easy pickings. She was almost as weak as that fuckwit Rebel Star. The chick looked close enough to Reb that it's a "forgone conclusion" she'll get the picture. Put her out of her misery, my love.

Ophelia: I will, I guarantee it. Bring in Holly J, please, we all three need to talk.

--5 minutes later--

Holly J is laying her head on Ann's lap, as Ann strokes J's hair, the two smiling as they gaze into eachother's eyes. Ann leans down and the two share a quick kiss, as Ophelia steps into the room. He turns his computer chair around, sitting on it backwards with his arms folded over the top of the backrest. "Ahem, ladies. If you will?" Ann and J giggle, as they look toward their shared bf. Ophelia smiles, and continues. "Now... first thing's first. Thank you, Holly J, for helping take care of our little business venture with that second-rate Starlet. Ann if you want, cut her up and save her for a snack." Ann responds, "Biting into her neck was like biting into a home-grilled hamburger. I can't wait to finisher her off, fucking delicious."

Ophelia presses forward, "With that taken care of, let's address our mutual relationship. Ann... I know how you love being the dominant one, but Holly is something neither of us are. You're a zombie, I'm a witch, but she's a vampire, and as far as I know the XWF has only ever had one vampire, and that's Ambrogio. She brings something special to the table; The ability to hunt cunningly, quickly, steadily and with pin-point precision. She can bring you food and myself sacrificial lambs for my own personal needs. She's a god send. So I'm hoping you can allow her to be the bloody heart to our well-oiled machine. Together, the three of us can take over the XWF and leave the naysayers CHOKING on our dust."

Holly J chimes in. "Ann, thank you for being such a gracious and understanding person. I owe you a lot for taking me into your home... you're an excellent host." Ann brushes the hair from Holly's eyes and smiles, a beautiful smle. "You're welcome to stay here as long as you want, my dear. Just show the same courtesy we show you and we'll be fine. By the way-- Ophelia? J and I will be sharing the bed. You sleep on the couch." Ophelia returns, "As you request, my Queen. Now... what are we going to eat. I was thinking Popeye's Chicken." Ann-- "I was thinking Quiznos, perhaps. That Equinox guy is damned persuading..." Holly J chimes in "How about we hit up a blood bank? I could really go for A-positive. XD "

Ophelia and Ann stare at Holly in bewilderment... before the three of them bust out into maniacal laughter, as the scene fades to blood red.



|let us entertain you|

--tbc--