LIFE IS A GAME OF SKILL AND YOU BEST DAMN WELL BELIEVE I'M THE BEST PLAYER AT IT!



"SEVEN! SEVEN! SEVEN!!!"

And no, this isn't the scene from Friends. Instead we fade into the world famous sight of the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino as the sound of a rather drunk Kristen begins to screech through the air. Grabbing ahold of the arm of Erin, her assistant, who is stood firmly next to her, Kristen looks on in excitement as the two stand around a roulette table with numerous other people. The casino is heaving with life, packed to the brim like any other Friday night. Kristen can't help but look on in anticipation as the ball spins around the roulette wheel, one hand planted on the arm of Erin in excitement, the other firmly gripping on what looks to be a mojito.

Kristen: This is the one, Erin. I can feel it!

Despite clearly being a little tipsy herself with an identical mojito in her own hand, Erin clearly isn't quite as enthusiastic as Kristen towards what's about to happen.

Erin: This was supposed to be the one...seven spins ago!

Kristen: It's going to drop my way now...here we go...seven...DROP BABY DROP!



The ball finally drops but it's not quite the number Kristen was hoping for, her hand releasing the arm of Erin and rising into the air in disappointment and dismay.

Kristen: ELEVEN? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

To make it even worst, the ball just so happened to drop smack bang next to number seven.

Hostess: Number eleven pays out!

Kristen looks on, not quite as angry and annoyed as she'd usually be when sober, the alcohol clearly helping to keep her temper in line and mood about as smoothly as you could hope for.

Erin: Eleven...I told you eleven!

With a blank look on her face, Kristen turns her face towards Erin, almost staring a hole through her. Erin at this stage would usually take it all a little bit too seriously, but just like Kristen, the alcohol is clearly having an effect on her mood and actions as she raises her glass and begins to sip away at her drink through a straw, a half assed smile on her face as Kristen turns her attention back to the roulette wheel.

Kristen: This is the one, this is the one!

Hostess: Bets please!

As the hostess opens up for the next round, Kristen begins to place a few chips down.

Kristen: Haha, they think they can get the better of me, Erin...watch this.

Kristen proceeds to place a large stack of chips down onto red and then the same amount down onto black.

Kristen: I'm a born winner, watch this!

Hostess: No more bets please.

The hostess once again takes the ball, spins the wheel and we're underway again. At this point Erin steps forward again, one hand still wrapped around her glass and her other playing with the straw and swirling it around the drink in her glass. Kristen looks on with excitement as the ball continues to spin.

Erin: You do realise if red or black come in, it'll just return the same amount of money that you've put down?

Kristen: Erin, look at me. Does this look like the first time I've ever played roulette? I think I know what I'm doing...I can't lose, Erin...I can't lose!

Kristen looks on with a huge smile on her face, her eyes clearly dazed a little by the bright lights and alcohol. The ball finally drops and that huge smile on the face of Kristen is completely wiped away, the smile crumbling away from her face at the sight of the ball dropping firmly down into zero, the one number that returns absolutely nothing on her bet. Her mouth quickly widens in disbelief. It's at this moment Erin moves forward again, a clear 'I told you so' look on her face.

Erin: Hmmm...if I didn't know any better I'd say...

Turning her face slowly towards Erin, Kristen flashes her a look that could kill.

Kristen: Dont...even...say it!

A cheeky smile grows on the face of Erin as she takes another sip on her drink and shrugs one of her hands as if to say "I'm saying nothing".

Kristen: I mean...it's just a game of luck...there's no skill involved!!! I mean...there's...whatever!!!!

After a small hissy fit, Kristen picks up her drink from the side of the table and begins to walk away, Erin beginning to follow with a smile still on her face as she catches up and begins to walk side by side with Kristen through the packed casino.

Kristen: We need a game of skill, Erin, not a game of luck. See, now this is more like it!

The two slowly approach one of the blackjack tables, Kristen opting not to take a seat but instead stand as the hostess greats her with a smile.

Kristen: There's an art to this, Erin. Watch and learn!

After Kristen places a chip down, the cards are dealt. Kristen's are turned over to reveal a king and an ace.

Dealer: 21, player wins!

A proud and slightly cocky smile appears on the face of Kristen as she wins a hand straight off of the bat.

Kristen: 21. See that, Erin? 21, just like that. You see how I did that? I played it perfectly. It takes a long time to hone your skills like I have!

Erin looks on while shaking her head and letting off an inside laugh that barely makes a sound. She takes a step closer to pay more attention as Kristen continues to talk absolute nonsense.

Kristen: You see these chips, Erin? I won them through skill. It's a sign, Erin. A sign that tomorrow night, I'm going to win that green poker chip at Shove It against those two brainless intoxicated fools. Watch this Erin, just watch...

Once again Kristen places a few chips down and the dealer begins to deal the cards. The cards of Kristen are revealed, a seven and an 8.

Kristen: See, now this is where you watch and learn Kristen. Do as I tell you and you'll be great, Erin, you'll be great! Now...hit me!!!

In a moment of sheer madness but absolute hilarity, Erin extends her hand and slaps Kristen firmly around the face. Kristen turns to Erin in sheer shock, the dealer even stopping what she's doing as she looks on, Kristen showing off a "what the heck just happened?" look briefly at the onlooking dealer.



Kristen: What...the...hell?

Erin: You said to hit you...

Kristen: I was talking to the dealer!

Erin: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, why didn't you say!!! I've got you girl...

A clearly drunk Erin turns her attention to the dealer now, still having the wrong end of the stick all together.

Erin: I think my friend wants you to hit her!

Kristen shakes her head in disbelief and drops her head into her hands, the usual roles reversed as for once it's Kristen doing the face palming. The scene slowly begins to fade as Erin let's out a drunken hiccup.

Erin...
...you're such an idiot!
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