WHY ARE THESE SEX DEPRAVED DRUG FUELED LUNATICS NOT LOCKED AWAY?

HELP ME SOMEBODY!

"Hot shit bro-zone! I think the drugs have kicked in bitches, I feel a tremendous amount of confidence that me you and Miss Silver are going to put on one hell of a sex show on Saturday night..."

The scene slowly fades into a hotel room in Las Vegas. Kristen can be seen sitting on the bed, staring down at her phone as it plays a video from youtube.

Kristen: Did you hear that Erin?

The assistant of Kristen slowly pops her head outside of the bathroom door, staring on at Kristen.

Erin: I heard it...you've played it seven times now!

Rising from the bed with a bewildered look on her face, Kristen begins to walk around the room in a rather agitated fashion as she can't take her eyes off of the phone.

Kristen: I mean, what even is this? They're high on illegal substances, Erin! They're going to make me wrestle two drug addicts!

Erin shakes her head as she disappears back behind the door and into the bathroom out of sight while Kristen continues to rant.

Kristen: Sex show? I mean seriously...what even is this? Who employs drug fueled lunatics like this? They're allowing two intoxicated men run wild. They should be locked up and on the sex offenders list! I need to speak to my lawyer!

Kristen now begins to pace back and fourth across the room before stopping next to the bathroom door, nagging away at Erin again.

Kristen: I mean seriously...

At that moment Erin walks out from the bathroom, running her hand through her hair as she repeats the exact same words as Kristen at the same time.

Erin/Kristen: What even is this?

Kristen looks on at Erin, not impressed by her repetitive little jibe. Erin turns back to her, beginning to tie her hair back into a knot.

Erin: We've been over this over and over for an hour now. Listen, you're going to be okay. They're just two...normal guys.

Kristen: NORMAL?

Erin: Okay, maybe normal is pushing it...

Kristen: NORMAL? Did you not see the video that somebody posted online Erin? The two partying away, fantasising about me while indulging in drugs? Oh my god...

Erin: What now...

Kristen: I'm going to die aren't I?

As a panicing Kristen continues to pace back and fourth across the room, Erin puts her head into her hands as she continues to try to deal with an over exaggerating Kristen.

Kristen: I'm actually going to die. They're putting me in there with criminals. Maniacs. People who should be locked in an asylum.

Erin: Just calm d----*cut off*

Kristen: What did I do to deserve this life? I pay my taxes. I'm beautiful. I'm lovable. I'm cute. I'm sexy. I'm smart. Why am I being punished like this? WHY GOD WHY?

Erin quickly walks over to an emotional Kristen, moving her backwards towards the bed and sitting her down.

Erin: It's going to be okay! You're Kristen Silver, remember? Who are you?

Kristen looks up at Erin with classic puppy dog style eyes.

Kristen: I'm Kristen Silver. *almost whispering*

Erin: I can't hear you...

Kristen chirps up slightly as Erin tries her best to lift her spirits and motivate her back to her usual cocky and over confident self.

Kristen: I'm Kristen Silver!!! *in a much louder voice*

Erin: That's right. You're better than all of them.

Kristen: I'm better than them all!

Erin: You're the most important person in the world!

Kristen: I am!!!

Erin: You're smart, you're lovable, you're the best at everything you put your mind too!

The mood has completely swung in a matter of seconds. The sad, emotional wreck that we'd just seen has suddenly changed into an over excited mess as Erin feeds the ego of Kristen. She rises up from the bed with a smile on her face.

Kristen: I AM LOVABLE! I AM THE BEST AT EVERYTHING I DO! I'M ALL OF THOSE THINGS!

Erin: That's right! Now we're going to relax and...

Once again Kristen cuts her off in mid sentence.

Kristen: You're right Erin, why was I feeling down? Everybody wishes they were me. I get to actually live the dream of being me. So tonight...tonight we drink...tonight...we party!

Erin: Wait...no...I didn't...

Quickly realising the huge mistake she's made in trying to make Kristen feel better, Erin tries to backtrack but it's too little too late.

Kristen: I mean, why feel down when you're me? Let's go and show the world what I'm made of.

Erin: But...

An excited Kristen grabs her bag from the side table as she begins to walk towards the door.

Erin: I just thought we could take it easy for one night. I don't know...maybe watch a movie? Have a girls night in? Just this once...for me?

Kristen pauses in her place just in front of the door before turn back towards Erin, giving one shake of her head to say no.

Kristen: Not even for you.



Erin rolls her eyes slightly, knowing she's fighting a lost battle. Not even bothering to waste anymore of her time, she begins across the room to follow Kristen who has already exited the hotel room and out onto the corridor.

Kristen: VEGAS BABY!!!

The scene slowly fades as Erin exits the room almost in a sulking manner as she tries to follow a hyper Kristen out into the crazy Vegas nightlife.

Two Homeless Looking Bums Aren't Gonna Ruin My Weekend
VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY!
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