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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! Results
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Si!W 2/20/15
Author Message
John Msdison 2.Faggot
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#1
02-20-2016, 02:14 PM


[Image: Nq7PrTs.png]

Welcome to the rebirth of Shove It! We go to our announce team who will be keeping us up to date on all of tonight's happenings.


Gaylord Cockchafer: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I am Gaylord Cockshafer and backstage is my right hand man, Balaque Negar.

We get some split screen action which shows Negar backstage holding a microphone.

Balaque Negar: Gaylord, it's an interesting atmosphere back here. We have everyone on hand, including the guys who are competing in tomorrow's event. There is also a lot of gay, male prostitutes; we still haven't figured out how they got here but they are causing the talent a lot of grief to say the least. In fact, they were assigned to the same dressing room as the team of Frodo, Isles, Prince, and Tush.

Gaylord Cockchafer: Wow, that does seem interesting. I'm glad that I'm out here instead! Those guys are on their way out here for our first match-

Balaque Negar: Wait a minute, GC, I've just been informed that something has gone down. I'm going there right now with my camera team!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Alright, 'Neg, make sure you approach with caution!

Negar and his camera team run to the scene backstage where we see LeStrange and Robbie Bourbon laid out face down on the ground, both seemingly unconscious, with Mr Dominance Trax, standing other them, dented steel chair in hand, look of pure venom and disdain on his face.

Trax: What? Motherfuckers wanna talk shit to ME and not think there wasn't going to be consequences? That I wouldn't be here tonight despite not being on the card? Nah no dice I'm afraid, good luck out there gentlemen, I have a feeling you're both going to need it.

Trax laughs then throws the chair at LeStrange, it bounces off the back of head and he lets out a groan, this causes Trax to laugh even more as he dusts off his hands and walks away as medical staff quickly come onto the scene to tend to Bourbon and LeStrange.

Balaque Negar: I can't believe it, Cockchafer! Trax just fucked these two fools up! The EMTs have just arrived on scene, I'm going to get my crew out of the way so that they can work on Bourbon and LeStrange.

Earnings:
Trax stole 500 XBux from Bourbon and LeStrange




Dick Tickler, Hysteria, Calypso, Tommy Gunn
VS
Christopher Isles, Frodo Smackins, Mason Prince, Tush

Ladder Match for a sack full of X-Bux and sausages


Gaylord Cockchafer: This contest is a ladder match! The first team member to grab one of these ladders at ringside and use it to grab the bag of cash that's hanging over the ring, will be victorious for his team. It ain't rocket science; get your ass up the ladder and grab that bulging sack like you want it. The sack contains X-Bux and some sausage, yummy!

All eight participants are in the ring. The bell rings and all hell breaks loose. We got Hysteria on Isles, Calypso on Frodo, Gunn on Prince, and Dick on Tush. Dick knocks Tush out of the ring with a lariat! Tush shakes off the attack and attempts to reenter the ring but he's cut off by Hysteria who baseball slides under the bottom rope and takes out Tush with a DDT.

Frodo and Calypso are going back and forth in a boxing match. Calypso plays dirty by using an eye rake. Frodo can play that game too, though. He uppercuts Calypso in the nut sack which has him limping away into the corner.

Tickler and Gunn lift Isles into the air for a vertical suplex but Prince collapses that tower by delivering a chop block to Tickler. That allows Isles to reverse the vertical suplex on Gunn. Prince and Isles then take Tickler and give him the double suplex ass-first onto the abdomen of Gunn. Gun log rolls out of the ring gasping for air.

Prince and Isles take Tickler and toss him out of the ring next to Gunn. Prince Irish whips Isles and isles flies through the ropes and takes out both Tickler and Gunn with a suicide dive.

Calypso charges after Prince but gets taken to the mat by Prince's armbar. Hysteria breaks that situation up by slamming a ladder down on Prince. Hysteria leaves the ladder laying on top of Prince, rebounds off the ropes, and double stomps the ladder into Prince. With Prince still underneath the ladder, Hysteria takes Frodo and powerbombs him on top of the ladder and Prince! Hysteria throws Frodo out of the ring.

Tush catches Hysteria by surprise with a springboard missile drop kick! Tush centers Hysteria over the ladder. He throws a backhand slap that knocks Hysteria silly, drapes Hysteria's arm behind his neck and gives him a sit out gordbuster onto the ladder!

Tush meets Gunn and Tickler who've just reentered the ring. Tush nails Tickler with a clothesline but Gunn takes him down immediately after with a running knee to the kidney. Gunn gives Tush a side slam and then goes to the outside to retrieve a steel chair. Gunn makes his way towards Tush. Prince tries to stop Gunn but takes a chair shot to the head. Isles does the same and gets a chair shot to the top of the head as well. Gunn is about to swing the chair down onto Tush but Frodo saves Tush by taking the chair out of Gunn's hands. Frodo goes to attack Gunn with the chair but Gunn rams his forearm into the chair, smashing it and Frodo's face simultaneously. Frodo's entire face is now covered in blood and Gunn is holding his arm in pain. Both Frodo and Gunn are on the sideline after that altercation.

Tickler and Prince go through some reversals and chain wrestling in the center of the mat. Tickler looks uncoordinated as fuck in doing this and ends up mule kicking Prince in the nuts. Tickler puts Prince in a headlock and gives him a noogie. That proves to be a huge mistake since it allows Prince to throw Tickler across the ring with a German suplex. Calspo goes after Prince to help his friend but gets taken out with a roundhouse kick.

Prince and Isles set up the ladder now and they begin climbing on both sides.

Hysteria interrupts them as they get their finger tips on the sack and pushes the ladder down. Prince lands nuts-first on the top rope and Isles hits the crown of his head on the bottom rope, snapping his neck. Frodo emerges with his bloody face and cracks the steel chair into the knee caps of Hysteria. He then smashes the chair over the back of Hysteria as he doubles over.

Frodo sets up the ladder and gives Tush his blessing to climb up.


Gaylord Cockchafer: That might be the best option at this stage. Frodo can hardly see through the blood covering his face.

Tush is making good progress but Gunn is stirring. Frodo is getting his chair ready to swing. Gunn walks toward the ladder, brushing off Frodo, but Frodo smacks him in the injured arm with the chair! Frodo follow up with a shot to the top of the head. It dazes Gunn momentarily... But Gunn goes down big with a spear to Frodo that smacks him into the side of the ladder. It's a big enough impact to cause Tush to lose his footing. Tush regains his balance and gets one hand on the sack of money but it's too late! Hysteria has returned with a bulging burlap sack in his hand and is hitting Tush in the back with it!

Hysteria climbs up to meet Tush at the top and punches him in order to keep him at bay. He then unties the knot on the potato sack and empties its contents onto the mat. THUMBTACKS! They're standing ten feet on a ladder above a pit of thumtacks now. Hysteria drapes the arm of Tush and attempts a superplex but Tush blocks it with a punch. Tush nails Hysteria with an uppercut to the jaw, nearly causing him to fall off of the ladder. Hysteria retaliates by putting the empty potato sack over Tush's head and tying it around Tush's neck! Hysteria makes sure that it's a firm knot that Tush can't pick out of. Hysteria then drape the arm of Tush and gives him a superplex off the ladder and onto the thumbtacks! All we hear is Tush's muffled scream following the loud thud and gasps from the audience. Tush is now rolling around with a potato sack tied to his head and hundreds of thumbtacks in his back!

Hysteria turns around and walks into a roaring elbow from Prince. Prince then nails Hysteria with a spinning back hand to the temple, followed by a slap on the opposite cheek. Prince gives Hysteria a spinning back kick in the gut and powerbombs him onto the same pile of thumbtacks! Suddenly, Tickler comes up behind Prince and takes him out with a backstabber! Frodo comes up and uppercuts Tickler in the balls... but it doesn't hurt Tickler! Tickler stomps on Frodo's foot and goes for a piledriver, but Isles takes out the old man with a flying knee! Isles follows up with more knees to the abdomen as Tickler collapses to the mat.

Frodo and Isles work together now in setting up Tickler. Frodo goes to the top rope while Isles sets up Tickler for the piledriver. Frodo jumps off the rope they give Tickler a spike piledriver!

Calypso charges after Frodo and Isles but he gets tossed out of the ring following a back body drop from both men. We go to a replay of that move which shows that Calypso's body rotated in mid-air to the point where he fell on his face on the outside mat. He's knocked the fuck out now as EMTs go to help him.


Gaylord Cockchafer: It looks like Calypso might be out of this match. The EMTs are rolling out the stretcher. This can't be good for Team Hysteria Dick Prince.

Tush is walking around blind now as he struggles to get the burlap sack off of his head. He ends up bumping into Isles. Isles shoves him away. Tush takes that as a threat and responds with a punch to Isles's ear! Isles loses his cool and goes after Tush but Frodo steps in between to break them up. Frodo tries to diffuse the situation and untie the knot that's keeping the burlap sack on Tush's head. That leaves Isles alone to get taken out by Hysteria, Tickler. and Gunn who maul him with kicks and punches. The three men combine their strength to give Isles a powerful Irish whip towards Frodo and Tush. Frodo manages to dive out of the way but Tush, who still can't see, gets run over by Isles. Tush and Isles crash into the mat and start punching each other. Hysteria, Tickler, and Gunn watch from the opposite side of the ring as Frodo and Prince break them up.

Isles decides that he's had enough and walks out of the ring!


Gaylord Cockchafer: Don't tell me he's just going to leave over this misunderstanding! Come on Isles, you guys are up 1 man, why would you walk away at this stage of the game?

Frodo is yelling at Isles to get back in the ring but Isles has already made his way through the curtain where John Madison is waiting to yell at him.

Backstage Cam:

King II Madz: Get back out there and help your team, you fucking pussy!

Isles decks Madison with a punch! Security and staff swarm Isles to escort him out of the building.

King II Madz: I'm not paying you a cent for tonight's performance! In fact I'm fining you!

Isles flips John the bird and kicks down the exit door.

Back to the ring...

Gaylord Cockchafer: Wow, Isle's acting like a real cock smoker tonight, ditching his team and assaulting the boss. The match has now turned into a 3 on 3. Isles has walked out, and Calypso sustained a concussion. My backstage informant, Balaque Negar, just informed me that Calypso thinks that he's Bret Hart in the year 1997. Yikes.

Tush has finally managed to remove the burlap sack from his head. He trades punches with Gunn in he center of the ring and gets the upperhand. He then tosses Gunn over the top rope. Hysteria tags Tush with some knife edge chops. Tush kicks Hysteria and drops him with a Kushbomb (sitout powerbomb). Gunn pulls Tush up by his hair immediately after the move and gives him a powerbomb of his own! Frodo throws a chair at Gunn. Gunn is able to block some of it but ends up getting his forearms and face partially smashed into the steel. Frodo drop kicks Gunn in the knee caps and DDTs him.

Meanwhile, Tickler and Prince are going at it on the outside. Prince is outperforming Tickler in the chain wrestling department. Prince takes down Tickler and holds him there with a waist lock. Tickler is unable to break free as Prince swings him around and German suplexes him into the side of the crowd barrier. Prince takes Dick and leans him back-first on the ring steps. Prince charges at Dick for a big move, but Dick pulls out a 9mm pistol and points it at Prince! Prince pumps the brakes and holds up his hand between him and Dick's gun.


Tickler: Hands up, !

Prince can't believe that this lunatic brought a gun into the match! He's frozen, what the hell do you do when a man has your life in is hands? Dick gets up and walks up to Prince, bringing the pistol inches from his face. Dick pulls the trigger and... some yellow fluid streams out of it and into Mason Prince's face! Prince is disgusted, it has to be urine or something. Tickler kicks Prince in the nuts and gives him a flap jack onto the ring steps.

Gaylord Cockchafer: That darn, tricky Dick Tickler! He spray painted a water pistol and filled it with his own damn urine!

Dick runs in the ring attacks Frodo with a backstabber. Dick then drops Frodo with a piledriver and turns his attention to the downed ladder. He's going to try to get it set up, but wait, CHRISTOPHER ISLES IS BACK! Isles ran in from the back and appears to have changed his attitude. Isles knocks down Dick with a flying European uppercut!

Gaylord Cockchafer: I can't believe it! He came back for his team!

Tush nods his head in approval for Isles coming back, and picks up to Dick for a DDT. He locks the head and is about to drop him but instead delivers a knee strike to the throat of Tickler, and moonwalks away like it wasn't worth his time. But wait, Hysteria is waiting for him and drops Tush with a chair shot to the stomach. Hysteria then takes Tush and goes for the Sliced Bread #2 but Tush blocks it and instead throws Hysteria back-first onto the ladder! Gunn comes up to Tush and scoops him up for a tombstone but Tush shifts out of it and drops Gunn with a reverse suplex onto the ladder. Tush has somehow put all three men down! Prince is erecting the ladder now while Frodo stomps Tickler and Gunn out of the ring. Hysteria gets up to attack Prince after the ladder is set up and the two fall out of the ring while trading punches.

Tush is climbing up the ladder now! He's at the very top with no one in sight and Isles at the base. Frodo is on the outside alternating his kicks between Tickler and Gunn.

Tush gets both hands on the sack of X-Bux and is working on the clip, but hold on! CHRISTOPHER ISLES gets Tush's attention from the bottom of the ladder by flipping him the bird! Isles then shoves the ladder down with Tush at the top of it! The ladder falls but Tush manages to land on his feet. Tush charges after Isles and goes for a lariat but Isles ducks it and nails Tush with a head kick! Prince walks into the ring and shoves Isles! Isles shrugs and walks away, turning his back on Prince. Prince goes to attack Isles but instead Prince gets attacked from behind by Hysteria who runs into him in the back of the head with the ring bell.

King Madz shows up on the stage and is livid with Isles as he orders security to put him in cuffs and escort him out of the arena. Isles is chuckling like some prick teenager who just got busted for smearing feces on a monument.

Tush and Prince are knocked down. Tickler and Gunn manage to recover in time and overwhelm Frodo on the outside. They're both kicking the shit out of the dwarf.

Hysteria makes it half way up the ladder as Tickler and Gunn enter the ring. It looks like Tickler and Gunn are going to guard the ladder while Hysteria safely climbs. But wait a minute, Gunn tosses Tickler out of the ring and to the outside! He then runs up the ladder behind Hysteria who's oblivious to what's happened and throws him off with an Outsider's Edge!


Gaylord Cockchafer: Gunn wants to be the one to take the money so that he can advance to the semi-finals!

Gunn nearly falls off in the process of executing that move but he regains his footing. Gunn reaches up to grab the sack and removes it from the clip, earning his team the victory!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Tickler, Gunn, and Hysteria win with a controversial finish! But that doesn't seem to sit well with Tush....

Tush pushes the ladder down with Gunn on top of it. He then throws Gunn out of the ring. Tush reaches into the money sack and pulls out a stack of X-Bux. He also takes the sausage with him

Tush: That's my cut, assholes!

Gaylord Cockchafer: Tush has just stolen a portion of the X-Bux... and the sausage... from the winning team.

WINNINGS
Tommy Gunn: 3,000
Hysteria: 2,500
Dick Tickler: 2,500
Calypso:Tush: 1,000

Gaylord Cockchafer: Well, that wraps things up for the first part of our show. We still have another match to go which will air tomorrow night! So as it stands, Tommy Gunn has advanced to the semi-finals of our King of the XWF tournament where he will face the winner of the three way dance that will take place in two weeks.

Hysteria, Tickler, and Calypso will be in another three way match which will determine who faces the finalist in tonight's Survivor Series match.

But wait, Balaque Negar is in my ear piece with some information. Take it away, Balaque!


Balaque Negar: Well, Gaylord, I'm in the back here where things have heated up!

We see Tush standing in the office of King Madz, yelling and slamming his fist on the table. He's demanding that King Madz unscrew him immediately, and tells him that he's keeping the cash.

King II Madz: That's fine, Tush. I want you to have the cash! It needed to be split four ways, anyway. Calypso's medical status is up in the air right now. The guy thinks he's a Canadian hero and insists that we give him back his pink tights. So I'm removing him from next week's triple threat match. That means a slot has opened up... I'm giving it to YOU, Tush! You've earned it. So on March 6th, it will be Dick Tickler versus Hysteria versus Tush to determine who will advance to the next round of the tournament.

Tush: That's more like it, Madz. Keep up the good work, "king."

Tush knocks over John's tea, causing it to spill off of the desk and into John's lap.


King II Madz: Damn it! I'll... Luca? LUCA?! I need to borrow your pants!

Luca crashes through the ceiling in vintage Black Circle fashion.

But wait, there's a second crash; it's Austin Fernando who, instead of landing conveniently in front of John like Luca always does, he lands on top of John!


King II Madz: God damn it, Luca! Who the fuck is this guy?

Luca: Maddy meet Austin. Austin- Maddy... So, why the fuck did you call me in here?

King II Madz: Well, Tush came in here and spilled my own tea on my own pants. I have a tea stain on my crotch now!

Luca: What do you want us to do? Beat him up for you? Not like we have more important things to take care of...

King II Madz: No, but I can't be running around with a tea stain on my crotch during the show.

Luca: John, you've run the show soaked in your own urine... on a weekly basis. This isn't something that the fans haven't seen before.

King II Madz: I've turned over a new leaf, okay? Give me some pants, you ain't competing in them shits anyhow.

Luca: Fine.


Luca takes off his pants, revealing his Street Fighter 4 boxer shorts, and gives them to Madz. Madz takes off his old pants to reveal his bare ass and dong flopping everywhere.

King II Madz: I'll give these back, I promise.

Luca: You know what? Keep them.

King II Madz: Cool. I owe you one, big time. Just let me know if you need something taken care of tonight.


John looks over at Fernando and the X-Treme Title.

Luca: Sure, I'll text you if I need something.

King II Madz: Cool... You know, guys, maybe later on we can Netflix and chill. Have you boys seen Jessica Jones?

Luca: ...What?


Luca shakes his head as Austin chuckles. They leave the office.

King II Madz: That's cool, I'll see you guys around! Don't be afraid to stop by! I'll have Netflix running all night!

Madz begins typing into Google, "is it ok to ask guys to netflix and chill with me?" as we fade to black.
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#2
02-21-2016, 07:34 AM

Pay me my money bitch. Do I look black to you? I don't work for free.

[Image: PFcRGRj.png]

Record: 8 - 2
1 x RTX Champion
1 x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
1 x Federweight Champion

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