Big Bad Leroy is at the gym, admiring his muscles and scoffing at the pathetic blobs of protoplasm around him, toiling away on the weights in a futile effort to achieve the build he was born with. Amongst the toilers are Jade and Vixen, of the Iron Valkyries. As Leroy looks in the mirror, they are hard at work doing super-sets of standing dumbbell curls.


Vixen: Leroy, do you really think the XWF isn't going to figure out that it wasn't you in the cage against Owen Crooks? And what if Crooks and the Slaughterhouse wrestlers press charges of blackmail, kidnapping and attempted murder against you....?

Jade: She's right, boss. It'd be a lot simpler to just get in the ring...and wrestle your opponents yourself!

Big Bad Leroy: What a ridiculous notion! My plan was brilliance itself! As long as he's concealed head-to-toe in body armor, I can let some pathetic idiot with pretensions to mediocrity and delusions of adequacy do my dirty work for me. With his entire body covered, nobody can no that it isn't me in the ring! And best of all, it means that nobody gets to put their disgusting hands on my perfectly proportioned, statuesque muscles. I mean, that's like letting a homeless bum that's been sleeping in his own feces paw up the Mona Lisa.

Jade and Vixen continue to go through their work-out routine, curling dumbbells in the mirror while remaining silent.

Big Bad Leroy: Meanwhile, as long as I don my brilliant disguise as Good Little Roy Lee, I can call all the shots at ringside...and all those morons in the XWF are gonna be none the wiser!

Vixen: Leroy, why do you just fight your own battles? You know, the old fashioned way? I mean, if you're just going to send people into the ring to wrestle your matches for you...are you really even a professional wrestler?

Big Bad Leroy: That's what I pay you guys and my other henchmen for...to wrestle my matches for me! Listen, does a pit-bull breeder jump in and get physically involved in dog-fight...? Does a king ride into battle with the cavalry and risk his neck? Did the great New York gangster Wilson Fisk run around robbing banks and brawling all over New York with the do-gooder fools that opposed him? Of course not! Why would a greater man, a true alpha-male, degrade himself like that....?

Vixen: What about the man you're going to face Wednesday, Sebastian Duke...? He's rumored to be head of Illuminati itself...but he still goes out there and fights hand-to-hand, no matter how dangerous his opponent is.

Big Bad Leroy: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. All that really proves, is that he's not really in charge. He must have something to prove to his old man. Either that, or there's somebody else behind the scenes, a shadow leader or something. Because nobody who is truly in command of his forces goes out and does the dirty-work that they're supposed to be doing. That's not a commander...that's a foot-soldier! Anyway, I heard somewhere that he's got a dad he actually cares about. Why change a plan that hasn't failed yet? We'll do the same thing to him we did to Crooks. Get his old man, take him hostage and force him to throw the match.

Jade: But, what if he really is head of the Illuminati...? I mean, that's the most feared secret organization of them all...if they actually live up to their reputation...you know, that they're secretly controlling world affairs...then wouldn't that make his father rather difficult to secure...?

Big Bad Leroy: The ninjas haven't failed me yet, have they?

Vixen: Then there's Ann Thraxx to consider as well...she's like a mix of Harlequin and Wolverine...with the sadism of Vlad the Impaler thrown in...and a willingness to sacrifice her body that would make Mick Foley cringe!

Big Bad Leroy: Bah. She's a woman. What do women know about fighting?

Vixen drops her dumbbell on Leroy's foot and storms off.

Big Bad Leroy: Yeaaaaaaaargh!!!! My toe...my precious, precious toe!

Jade drops a dumbbell on the other foot.

Big Bad Leroy: ARRRRRRGH!

The Iron Valkyries storm out of the gym.