The Arena goes dark as Tyrone Jackson makes his way to the ring, accompanied as always by his assistant Dan. He stops in the ring, and palms his face before he addresses the audience. The sound of displeasure seeping from every single syllable he utters.

God damnit, people. I have to host another show here because another General Manager is about useless. Fuck you, Alex Cross. Anyway, here's another match where one of my competitors is about useless.

Brian Lance - vs - Code Red Standard Rules

Coming Undone By Korn plays

Brian Lance stroll to the ring.

Code Red is already in the ring.


The referee signals for the match to begin, immediately Brian Lance takes the initiative by rushing up to the unsuspecting Code Red and annihilating him with a sharp superkick that catches him directly on the jaw!

JIM ROSS: WOAH! Impactful way to start of Wednesday Night Warfare, if I do say so myself.

BOBBY HEENAN: God damn it. I thought this Code Red guy would’ve learned a thing or two after participating at War Games under the leadership of such an inspirational captain like Vinnie Lane.

JIM ROSS: That man was and still is a traitor to all things XWF!

BOBBY HEENAN: Your point is?

Meanwhile, Brian Lance is completely taking control of the matchup by hitting a devastating triple suplex combination on Code Red, who takes the third suplex and rolls onto his side, clutching onto his back in sheer agony. He stumbles back up to his feet and isn’t even aware that Brian Lance has already scaled to the top rope!

JIM ROSS: INCOMING!

Missile Dropkick by Brian Lance! He connects with both feet right to the jaw of Code Red, who is shot back by the force of the blow and lands spread eagle on the canvas. Blood begins to spew out of his mouth area and starts to flow freely down onto the canvas, Brian Lance’s expression doesn’t change in the slightest. He grabs Code Red by the head and drags him up to his feet, before running toward the ropes, leaping up onto them and springboarding off…

JIM ROSS: He hits Code Red with that cruel Springboard Bolley Kick! He calls that one Reality Undone.

BOBBY HEENAN: Name’s fitting, judging by the expression on Code Red’s face.

Brian Lance stares down at the limp body of Code Red with a disappointing gaze, before dropping down for the cover. The referee drops down to make the count…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Winner: Brian Lance

The bell sounds and the referee immediately moves to raise the hand of Brian Lance, who ignores him and throws up both of his arms in triumph. He climbs to the top rope and celebrates as his theme blares throughout the arena.

JIM ROSS: Impressive showing here by what could be the next big thing is this federation, Brian Lance!

BOBBY HEENAN: Don’t get ahead of yourself there, we’ve got a commercial break to go to and I’d prefer NOT to vomit while I’m taking my break.

Warfare fades out momentarily.

Tyrone is sitting his office, head slams onto his desk.

Austin versus Cain, huh? At least those two people are mostly decent at what they do. Fuck, play it.

Cain - vs - Austin Fernando Steel Cage Match If Cain wins he will join the Main Event Number 1 Contender match.

Starset's Carnivore plays over the PA

The opening of 'Carnivore' begins and starts to build-up slowly as the CCWF faithful begin to cheer wildly for 'The Superior One.' As the chorus of 'Carnivore' kicks in, Fernando emerges from the backstage area with a smirk creeping up over his face. He crosses his arms to form an 'X' and then strides down the ramp, shaking the hand of the few CCWF fans present in the front row. The rest of the crowd hurl insults and jeer the man as he paces around the ring not once, but twice, delaying his entrance and causing the crowd to fly into an uproar. Finally, he bounds up onto the apron and steps elegantly through the middle rope, before sitting down cross-legged in the top right corner of the ring, an arrogant sneer already spread over his face and begin directed at his future opponents.

"Catch Your Breath" by CFO$

The crowd goes silent following the entrance of Guest, and await the arrival of he who was once gone. He who is known as "The Master of Pain". He who has been called "The Last Son of Eden". Suddenly, the lights die down throughout the entire arena...

red strobe lights pulsate along with the sound of the heartbeat, static appearing on the jumbotron. The lights in the gorilla position begin flashing white and the huge silhouette of an inhuman looking being stands there, with spikes jutting out of it's shoulders. The camera changes focus to the gorilla position, and as the ambient noise comes to a halt with get a fast zoom in followed by a set of red eyes flashing in the darkness as the lights die again.

"Cain Is Here." Flashes across the screen, and the lights come up to a dim red hue as the guitars of the music drive the crowd into a frenzy. Cain stands at the top of the ramp, the original Cain, dressed in black from head to toe with a black leather duster hanging from his huge body, spike jutting forth from his shoulders.

As he slowly makes his way down to the ring, he stops from time to time, making Guest wait. He continues down to ringside, staring at the crowd a moment before lifting the bottom of his duster and ascending the steel stairs.

Never taking his eyes off of Guest, locked onto Guest with a cold death stare. He slowly removes his duster and the lights come up. Just when Guest think he's done, he nods his head and his eyes flash, flames erupting from the ringposts...making you jump.

Cain smirks and the fans chant "Son-of-Ed-en" with rhythm.


Austin and Cain stand in the ring and watch each other as the cage drops down around them. Fernando cracks his knuckles and cocks his head while Cain sneers at him. The cage hits the mat with a thud, and a sick grin slides across Cain's face, he is prepared; the second the bell resonates, Cain is on the move. One giant clawed hand grabs Austin's face and slams the back of his head into the cage. His free hand curls into a ball and begins to drill itself into Austin's abdomen repeatedly. His usually pink skin turns a dark shade of red as the blows continue, and Cain's hand lowers to grip Austin by the throat. Mistake. Fernando, the The Douchebag Destroyer spits some blood right into Cain's face. The grip breaks as his hand instinctively goes to eye.

Austin takes the chance to drop down and throw jab after jab to Cain't right knee. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Eight goddamn blows to the knee, which cause it to buckle down. Cain drops to his good knee, and Austin throws a massive uppercut. To Last Son of Eden stumbles back, and Austin charges for it. He leaps valiantly, and goes for a Double legged Drop kick to the face. Cain goes down, and Austin on top of him. The ref begins to count.

1


2


Shoulder! Cain literally throws a so hard into Austin's ribs that he is knocked up and off of the Beast. Austin lands face down on the mat, and wheezes hard as he holds his ribs. Cain gets up and goes to stomp on Austin, but Austin throws a well planned foot to Cain't bad knee. The beast stumbles and gets a knee to the face for his trouble. Austin is up and surprisingly virile for someone who just had his ribs destroyed. He stands tall above the toppled Cain, and just begins to stomp his face in. Boots fall hard on Cain't face, blood begins to pour from it. The Beast uses his claw like fingers to slash at Austin's calf, which causes the mortal to hold his leg as The Beast gets to his feet. Austin is back up and ready to defend within seconds. Both men stare each other down, and begin to slam forearms to each other. Cain. Austin. Cain. Cain. Austin. Austin. Blood spills forth from both men, as Austin begins to slow from the amount of punishment he previously took. Cain pauses to throw a massive fist to Austin's face, which connects squarely over his left eye.

Both Cain and Austin wail on each other with forearms, trying to knock the other man down.

JIM ROSS: This is what I'd call a slobberknocker Hennan! These two competitors are giving it everything they've got!

BOBBY HEENAN: What else can these guys throw at each other? They're going at it harder than me on a Saturday night!

JIM ROSS: Yeah right...

Cain and Austin continue to hit forearm after forearm, neither man backing down, although Cain's strength allows him to start to pull ahead. He hits one forearm, than another, than one more that sends Fernando stumbling back on spaghetti legs! Fernando then stumbles into Cain's arms, who then sets him up for the Devastation Of Man, but no! Austin Fernando counters by kicking the Last Son of Eden in the dick! Even an immortal like Cain felt that one! Cain falls to his knees, clutching his balls!

JIM ROSS: What a dick move from Austin Fernando!

BOBBY HEENAN: No JR! A SMART move!

As Cain ponders if he can spread his unholy seed anymore, Austin Fernando is setting him up! Austin Fernando kicks Cain hard in the chest multiple times, causing Cain to cough up blood as the crowd counts along!

"1!"



"2!"




"3!"




"4!"





"5!"





*CRACK!* Austin Fernando then unleashes one last punt to the chin of Cain. The snapping of Cain's jaw is heard as blood files into the air! Cain then slumps to the ground, unconscious.

JIM ROSS: FERNANDO JUST HIT THE FATAL FINALE! VERY FEW HAVE GOTTEN UP FROM THAT!

BOBBY HEENAN: And if anyone can get up from that, it's sure as hell not Cain! Look!

Austin Fernando, after admiring his handiwork, begins to climb the cage. It's a slow ascent, a mixture of fatigue and confidence, but eventully he makes it to the top! Instead of leaving, however, he looks down at Cain, then at the fans, looking like he's setting up for a big move from the top of the cage!

JIM ROSS: WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING?

Fernando stays on top of the cage, letting the suspense and excitement build.







Suddenly, a shit eating grin emerges from the face of the Superior One. He then flips off the fans, who boo wildly realizing that Fernando had just faked them out!

BOBBY HEENAN: OH FUCK YOU FERNANDO!

Austin Fernando chuckles as he prepares to leave the cage, setting one foot outside the cage. Before he can get the other foot, however, the lights go out!

JIM ROSS: What's going on Heenan?

BOBBY HEENAN: How the hell should I know? Maybe Mr. Jackson forgot to pay the electric bill?

The lights come back on, and Fernando is still perched on top of the cage, one foot in and one out, but he's not alone. Sitting on the cage to his right, looking at him dead in the eyes with a sick look on her face, is Alexis Riot! Austin Fernando's confidence turns to confusion, how the hell did that bitch get up there? As Fernando's grin disapears, a grin forms on Alexis's face. She then chuckles,

Alexis Riot: Surprise motherfucker.

Before Fernando can react, Alexis, fueled by the Samuel L. Jackson quote, piefaces him, sending him flying off the cage! Austin Fernando falls from the near 50 foot hight and crashes on the canvas, the impact causing his body to crash THROUGH the ring! An entire turnbuckle falls down from the impact as the crowd begins chanting "HOLY SHIT!" and "PLEASE BE DEAD!" at the carnage. Austin lies in the crater from his fall, utterly broken, while Riot begins to laugh her head off. She then turns to the camera and shrugs,

Alexis Riot: Oops! Sorry about the damage Jackson!

Laughing once more, Alexis Riot climbs down from the cage, falling gracefully to the arena floor and landing on her feet. She then walks out through the crowd, which chants "XWF!" and "KILL RIOT KILL!", satisfied from the chaos that just erupted. Meanwhile in the cage, Cain slowly gets back to his feet, readying himself to take advantage of the situation and get a shot at becoming the number one contender at the Intercontinental Championship!

BOBBY HEENAN: THAT BITCH SHOULD BE FIRED! NOT ONLY DID SHE STICK HER JEW NOSE IN A PLACE IT DIDN'T BELONG, BUT SHE ALSO BROKE THE RING! SHE'S A FELON!

JIM ROSS: That "bitch" is our X-Treme Champion Heenan, she was just sending a message to Austin Fernando for their upcoming title match, and something tells me this is only the beginning of a long and brutal conflict between these two! Also, Hennan, this organization is filled with rapists, mass murderers, and demons, worse things have happened.

BOBBY HEENAN: ....Can't argue with you there JR, but still! BURN IN HELL RIOT!

Austin gets to his feel shakily, and sees Cain coming for him. Austin summons all his might and hits the Fatal Finale sending Cain down hard. Austin collapses on top of Cain. The ref counts it.

1



2




3

Winner: Austin Fernando

Tyrone is sitting down in his office looking mostly please.

Well, Alexis Riot is spunky, and . Fuck, next week is going to be interesting.

Drezdin's already in the ring, his three lumbermidgets sitting criss-cross applesauce outside the ring, picking their noses.

"Shitlist" by L7 plays

Vanessa Gibson, flanked by her three lumbermidgets, make their way down the ramp to the ring.

Before the bell even rings Gibson's lumbermidgets charge Drezdin's and take them all down. Biting and clawing galore! Drezdin looks over the ropes at his boys, before getting spun right around by Gibson. Gibson bitchslaps the fuck outta Drezdin, who spins all the way around before falling into the corner. Gibson whips Drezdin into the opposite corner before charging and leaping into the corner, squashing the fucker like a bug!

She then calls her midgets into the ring! The ref doesn't know what to do, but he allows them to enter. Vanessa pulls Drezdin out of the corner, to the middle of the ring, before setting him up on all fours.

One by one the midgets nail the Nut-Punt!

Only, since they're so small, they don't have the same impact as the full-sized Gibson, so Drezdin doesn't go head over heels.

That is until the Original Gibsta hits it!

Gibson goes for the pin as the midgets spray Drezdin with their menstrual blood!

1



2



Three!

Winner: Vanessa Gibson

Tyrone is sitting down trying read a newspaper, he was uninterested in the Vanessa Gibson match.

That was fucking useless. Why are these people on the payroll? Fuck. Fire Drezdin.

We go to the Bourbon Dojo for the Competitive Arts. We see Blue standing with the rest of the Bourbon Men at rapt attention.

You have got to be fucking kidding me. We have the worlds best technopath and a shapeshifter and we can't even get a lead on where Pest is holding Robbie? Jesus tapdancing Christ, even Clyde is going goofy whenever we bring up Robbie!"

With that, Clyde the orangutan starts to point down one hall of the Bourbon Dojo, and scampers off down it.

See! Where the hell is he going, anyways? Nobody can find him for hours when he goes. This place is a wreck without Robbie, I swear.

We turn and see the front door open, and in walks a UPS delivery driver.

Uh, hi, package for you! Sign here please!

Blue rolls her eyes as she tromps towards the delivery man and signs for the package. It's a small envelope, usually not the type of thing UPS is known to deliver. The UPS guy leaves as Blue opens the package. She pulls out a small USB thumb drive attached to a note which reads "play me". She walks back into Robbie's office, along with Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd, and Ash, Robbie's personal stylist and possibly strangest henchman since we never really see Robbie's hair under his mask. She moves the mouse of the computer on Robbie's desk, bringing it back to life, and plugs in the USB. After a few clicks, she opens the folder on the device with a single file named "play me" on it. She double clicks it. The video begins.

We see Robbie Bourbon, his mask still in tatters after being decimated in his match against the Killers with TJ Wallace. His face looks blank, and expressionless, and fresh blood has flowed from gashes and wounds since his match at Back in Black.

Hello.

A fist cracks across Robbie's face. Blood trickles from his nose as he spits a wad of what looks like blood and mucus to the floor, leaving a strand of bright red gunk dangling from his beard.

My name is Robbie Motherfucking Bourbon.

Another fist crashes against his face. He remains expressionless.

This shitheel is going to keep hitting me either way, so fuck it, you want a video I'ma say whatever the fuck I want.

The fists come across Robbie's face again. Several times. Off camera, we hear the voice of Pest.

Pest: Robert, this message is going to people far more fragile than yourself.

Robbie's eyes narrow as he looks past the camera and spits again. He then looks again at the camera, a blank expression on his face.

I want you all to not worry about me. I am being treated kindly, and my health is being maintained. The food is nourishing, and I look forward to seeing you all again soon.

Please do not come looking for me.

My captors and I are coming to an agreement on my release, and pursuit of me will only lead to the pain and suffering of yourselves. Frankly, babe, I'd rather take this shit than you.

The fist cracks across Robbie's jaw again as he smirks, his thoughts most likely dwelling on the woman who currently has tears welling up in her eyes and a look of absolute horror across her whole existence, Blue, who is watching this along with the XWF Universe for the first time.

Old man, I want you to know that because of this, the next time we're in the ring together...

The fist flies in from offscreen again, but we hear the snap of duct tape giving as Robbie catches the fist and looks at the camera.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THE NEXT TIME I'M IN THAT XWF RING, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THERE, AND NO GOD IN HEAVEN NOR ANY DEVIL IN HELL IS GOING TO STOP ME FROM BEING THE WRECKER I WAS BORN TO BE. YOU HEAR ME! I'M GOING TO TEAR DOWN THE UNIVERSE WITH YOUR BODY!

A black canvas bag is put over Robbie's head as a baton comes crashing down on the crown of his head repeatedly. From inside the bag, we hear the sounds of muffled laughter.

Pest: Good night, Robert.

We see Pest enter the picture and hold a pistol to Robbie's head. He pulls the trigger as Robbie Bourbon goes limp in the chair, snoring loudly.

In the Dojo office, Blue is collapsed to the ground in hysteria. The other Bourbon men seem lost as to what to do. Clyde, the orangutan, walks into the office and grabs Blue by the hand. She instantly clutches the ape, looking for comfort from what she just witnessed. Clyde pats her back as she brings herself back to her feet. He gestures for her to follow him, and the camera sees Clyde the orangutan lead Blue down the same hallway he walked down earlier.

Tyrone looks up from his newspaper.

Robbie still kidnapped by Pest? Oh, that got old. Whatever.

Luca Arzegotti - vs - Cyren Standard Rules

"In the Clouds" by Under the Influence of Giants plays over the system.

The opening synths of "In the Clouds" by Under the Influence of Giants play, and the arena drowns in strobe lights of altering colors. The crowd erupts in a chorus of cheers and boos as that 4 x better than the best muthafucka Luca Arzegotti makes his way down to the ring, wearing a pair of comically oversized sunglasses and clapping off-rhythm. He takes the sunglasses off at ringside, slides them down his pants, then chucks them into the crowd before getting into the ring.

'Run' by Gossamer plays over the PA.

Half the stadium bursts into flame, hundreds die, Cyren teleports nto the ring using 'Instant Transmission.'

The bell sounds and #MemeQueen swaggers over the ropes and leans over them, giving his back to Cyren. The grizzled veteran charges at Luca, who had opened up a can of Pepsi and was drinking it with a pink bendy straw, not paying attention to the charge at his back. Cyren rushes and goes for a spear. It connects, and Arzegotti spills his coke and topples half outside the ring. He throws his Pepsi can down as he corrects himself. Cyren is standing upright, smug look on his face. Commander Cocaine turns and faces the pepsi on the ground, and then at Cyren. Once more at the can, and then back at the Veteran. Cyren stands there and imitates crying like a baby. Luca shrugs and then walks casually over to Cyren, and backhands him right across the face. Cyren adjusts his head, and delivers a Neckbreaker that very nearly breaks Luca's neck.

Jim Ross: That does not look good for #MemeQueen.

Bobby Heenan: Why is he the Meme Queen, and not Meme King?

Jim Ross: Why do you care? He's Luca. He can do whatever he wants.

Arzegotti lays there in the middle of the ring, not moving. Cyren stands up and struts to the corner turnbuckle before climbing it. Luca has, taken to curling up in a ball, and pretending to be asleep. Cyren leaps through the air going for a beautiful 450 Corkscrew splash. It looks good. Like a magnificent swan. Time appears to slow down as Cyren's body flies through the air. The audience lets out an audible gasp...As Luca rolls out of the way. Just enough to avoid getting hit by the splash, but not enough to keep him safe from the elbow that Cyren has now thrown into his ribs. Followed by another elbow. Cyren is just going to work destroying Luca's ribcage with his elbows. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 8 elbows in the ribs before Cyren decides he's bored, and pops his feet. Luca gets to his feet and holds his ribs. Arzegotti goes for a roundhouse kick, but Cyren grabs Luca's foot and twists it straight up. There is a load pop and it seems that Commander Cocaine has a broken ankle. Kanye, who really calls him Kanye west anyway? Kanye, pulls his foot back, tightens his laces and carries on. Without pausing he grabs Cyren and hits a powerful Suplex on the grizzled Veteran. A slow raise brings Luca to his feet, careful to not put too much weight on the left one. Cyren starts getting to his feet, but Luca stops him with a standing moonsault. ArzeGODi hooks one of Cyren's legs for a pin.

1


2



Shoulder up. Cyren has gotten his shoulder up, and Luca grabs Cyren's ankle, and twists it until there is a pop as well. He releases the ankle and stands up. A quick kick to Cyren's ribs ensure payback for the brutality he had suffered earlier. Both men manage to get to their feet and limp around each other in a circle. The MemeQueen throws a punch right into Cyren's face, which busts Cyren's nose open. Another punch is thrown towards Cyren's direction, but is dodged with ease, and countered with a DDT which takes Luca straight to the mat. Cyren goes for a quick pin on The Lil B of wrestling.

1


2



Elbow to the face!! Luca throws an elbow into Cyren's face to force Cyren off of him, and onto his feet. Luca crawls to the ropes and uses them to pull himself up. Cyren rushes forward and slams his foot directly into Luca's spin, right as he gets to the middle rope. Arzegotti collapses onto the ropes, and Cyren stomps again, only for Luca to roll again and throw a punch into this foe's knee cap. Cyren stumbles down, and collapses. Luca pulls himself up, walks over to Cyren, who is kneeling on his knees and looking straight at Arzegotti, who throws a knee directly into his face. Cyren topples completely, and Luca laughs. #MemeQueen picks The Veteran up and pulls him in for a #NoMemeNovember. The move drops Cyren, and Luca goes for a quick pin on the corpse.

1









2











3

Winner:#MemeQueen, Luca Arzegotti. Aka "The Guy I Fantasize About During Sex " - Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Who the fuck didn't see this coming? Cyren is full of shit when it comes to his prowess. He's a useless fucking sack of shit. And this ass tard wants to be the Universal Champion? Fuck that. As long as I'm running this, Cyren will not get a title shot until he shows me he's not a skinnier version of Peter Gilmour.

Morbid Angel - vs - Peter Gilmour Hart Champion - vs - Intercontinental Champion Xtreme Rules match If Morbid Angel losses, Peter gets to cut off Morbid’s dick. If Peter losses he will be force fed his dick by Morbid Angel.

God Gives Head in Heaven blasts through the Arena.

The lights go out…the crowd screams with anticipation for who is to enter! The rhythmic drumming sounding like a battle march gets louder. The lights slowly come on turning the arena red.

Double bass starts drilling as Aeon’s - God Gives Head in Heaven roars over the loud speakers!

Morbid Angel storms from the backstage area and flexes his massive arms for the crowd who screams with excitement!

Morbid stomps down to the ring and steps over to the top rope and walks to the center of the ring and flexes again!

Sick like me by In this Moment blasts through the arena.

The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then hear the eerie sounds of a bell being tolled and then an explosion of fire emitting from the entrance ramp. The beginning of SICK LIKE ME by IN THIS MOMENT begins as the heavy guitar riffs kick in and red strobes dance around the stage. As soon as the verse kicks in, we see Peter Gilmour and his lovely queen Maria Brink #2 come out to the ramp. They smile at each other before going down the ramp hand in hand. Peter bobs his head to the song. They get in the ring together and Peter gets on the turnbuckle and throws up an "X" sign as pyro goes off above the ring. Peter hops down and hugs Maria as they wait his next victim.

Peter and Morbid have an intense stare- down as the bell rings. The Tokyo crowd is on their feet as the semi- main event is underway.

JIM ROSS: So Brain, Ah have to ask. This one has been teased for a looong time. Are yew as excited as Ah am?

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: You bet your Oklahoman ass I am, Ross! This one has been a long time comin', and boy, am I eager to see our new Hart champion cut off our Intercontinental Champion's dick!

Peter and Morbid meet in the middle, talking some smack to each other. They occasionally nod as their words can not be heard by the camera. Suddenly, Morbid says something that pisses off Peter. Peter goes red in the face, and does a Lou Thesz Press on Morbid, and starts wailing on him with punches! It gets to the point where the referee has to pull Peter off of Morbid! Peter is red in the face, and as Morbid gets back up to his feet, Peter starts wailing on him again! But this time Morbid expects it, and THROWS Peter halfway across the ring!

JIM ROSS: Good gawd, Brain! Ah can't believe a man like Peter Gilmour is gettin' thrown around like a ragdoll!

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: Sheesh, maybe I was rooting for the wrong guy.

JIM ROSS: Care to act on that bet now, or later Brain?

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: *Grumble, grumble*

Over at the commentators' bench, we see Bobby Heenan slip JR a $100 slip.

Meanwhile, Peter managed to slip out of the ring, his breath escaping him due to be thrown by a rag doll. He slips underneath the ring, and pulls out a kendo stick! Morbid is in hot pursuit of Peter, but Morbid gets whacked by the kendo stick!

It had no effect! Morbid no-sold it!

Peter has a dumbfounded look, before pounding Morbid with the kendo stick again, and again, and again! Morbid is staggering back with each kendo stick shot! Suddenly-WHAM! The kendo stick broke on Morbid's obviously Jew amazingly luscious nose! Morbid gets dropped as the camera can see an obvious nosebleed.

JIM ROSS: This is turnin' into an all-out warzone! Gilmour and Morbid are just hammerin' away at each other!

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: Tell me about it! And I have a feeling we only just saw the start of something big here!

JIM ROSS: Cover by Gilmour here.

1...





2...





Kick-out from Morbid! Peter calms himself, and tries not to let his anger get the best of him. He calmly goes under the ring, and gets out a table! But the Intercontinental Champion is back on his feet, and turns Gilly around and hits him with a Clothesline from Hell! Peter gets laid out! Morbid then picks up the table, and strikes Gilly with it! Again! Again! Again! Gilly is squirming around in pain, trying to find some way to take out Morbid!

And he does just that, with a volatile low blow! Morbid is clutching his plums as Gilly drops him with a DDT onto the table.

JIM ROSS: Jesus! I think these competitors could be getting too rough, if possible!

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: What, are you getting a little squeamish there, Ross?

JIM ROSS: Absolutely not, Brain! I'm just worrying about the health of both Morbid Angel and Peter Gilmour alike!

Gilly catches his breath as he gets back up to his feet, as he goes over to the commentator's table! He starts stripping the table, having it primed for smashing! The crowd begins to chant:

WE WANT TABLES! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* WE WANT TABLES! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

Gilly relishes the chants, only to be felled from a hard, brass-knuckled assisted right hand from Morbid Angel! Cover...

1...







2...







Kickout! Morbid looks slightly pissed off as he can't seem to put Gilmour away!

JIM ROSS: Peter Gilmour will not be put away! Peter Gilmour will not say die here! Peter Gilmour is determined to avenge his fallen phallus!

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: What do you mean, 'fallen phallus'? Last I checked from his promos, Pete still has that magical SUPER DICK, which is a surefire way to make the ladies drip questionable liquids.

JIM ROSS: Oh, good lawd. Get a load of this guy.

Gilly gets back to his feet while Morbid is catching his breath! Now they're trading blows! Morbid! Gilly! Morbid! Gilly! Morbid! Gilly! Morbid with a low blow of his own! Gilly clutches his own plums, and Morbid lays out Gilly with a Big Boot!

JIM ROSS: Interesting move by Morbid here, instead of pinning Gilmour he goes for the table from earlier.

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: And by interesting, you probably mean aggravating, since he's jeopardizing your chances at winning the bet.

JIM ROSS: No comment, Brain. No comment.

Morbid stacks the table on top of the stripped announce table as Gilly climbs the steel steps. Suddenly, Gilly is running on the ring apron and tries to go for a HURRACANRANA - DENIED! Morbid grabs Peter in the powerbomb position, and POWERBOMBS HIM ON THE RING APRON! Gilly recoils in pain as Morbid then throws Gilly in the ring!

BOBBY 'THE BRAIN' HEENAN: Hey Ross, you ever get a bad feeling about things sometimes?

JIM ROSS: Yes, Ah do Brain. Yes Ah do.

Morbid picks up Gilmour, deadlifting him, and places him on the top turnbuckle. He throws a punch at him. Then, Morbid climbs up the turnbuckles, and...

JIM and BOBBY: SATAN'S FALL THROUGH THE TABLES!

Both Morbid and Gilly are laid out! But Morbid, somehow, someway, throws an arm over Gilly's chest.

1........















2.............















3!

Winner: Morbid Angel

Morbid stands above the beaten and broken Peter Gilmour. Peter is angry, but Morbid lifts him onto his feet, like a true Sportsman. Peter knows what's coming, but he tries to fight it. He grabs Morbid for a Gilmour Cutter, and lands it dropping Morbid onto the pile of debris in the ring. We hear The World's Greatest, and Tyrone Jackson makes his way to ring. Dan quickly following between him, carrying a bucket. The fans seem curious as to what's about to happen to Peter and Morbid with Tyrone around.

First of all, whoever booked this stipulation is a goddamn . Second of all, they're more than likely gay. Who the fuck wants to see Peter "Don't call me fat" Gilmour suck his own cock? And who wants to see Morbid lose his? It's like this shit was booked by some like Maverick or something. Fuck. Ok, whatever. Peter, go ahead and suck the fucking thing already. I promise, I'll make it up to you.

Morbid gets to his feet, grabs Peter and devastates him with a Got est Tot. Peter goes down hard, and Dan helps lift him back up to a sitting position, while Morbid rips his necklace of and places it by his crotch, and begins to ram it down Peter's throat. Peter begins to gag, and Morbid grabs the back of Peter's head, forcing it down his throat hard and fast, as if Peter was honestly blowing him. When Peter is about to vomit, Morbid pulls away and Dan throws the bucket under Peter's mouth. Vomit pours from his mouth like water at Niagara Falls. When he's finished Morbid takes the bucket from Dan and dumps it on Peter's head.

Now, Peter. You'll be defending your title at Snow Job in a triple threat match. You will fight Cain, assuming he isn't in the tag title match, and a mystery entrant. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you who it will be. But, don't worry, I suspect you'll do well. Here's where it gets better. I'm naming that it's a no DQ triple threat match. You get to name the rest of the stipulations. With two exceptions, it is defended under normal Hart Title rules, and you can't make it so you have to be the one pinned to lose the belt. Deal? Oh, and before you try that lawsuit shit, we had this match approved by a bigger team of lawyers than you can afford. Don't be a bitch.


Suddenly a video cuts across the Titantron.

The horrible ordeal was over and Morbid's young son would soon be back with his father. His father wasn't a loving father by any stretch of the imagination, bit Xerces couldn't help but think of how much less lame he was than Ghost Tank.

The hum of the plane engine was calming in the silence of the private jet. The darkness was just lulling Xerces asleep when he heard a gargling sound in the back of the plane.

Figuring it was one of Tank's men choking on his own puke, he just closed his eyes. The less of these idiots that were around, the better.

Then comes the gun fire!

Flashes of fire from the barrels of Uzzis light up the darkness, all of Tank's men focused on one point. No regard for the plane, the fear in their eyes seen from mile away.

The shadow at which they were firing was large and beast like, a roar emanating from the creature as it bound onto them one by one. This creature showed the tenacity of a rabid wolverine as it tore into the throats of the men with it's teeth, blood covering the interior of the plane.

Had Ghost Tank set this up? Xerces had to wonder as he cowered into the cushion of his seat. Despite the suckiness of his life, he didn't want to die. That would suck!

Soon Xerces found himself alone with the shadowy creature standing over him. The light in the now blood drenched cabin flickered on and when it did, we saw him standing there. Cain stood over the young Xerces, wringing his wrists, hands dripping with blood.

"Look at what we have here."

Cain chuckles and kneels, kicking a corpse out of the way as he does. Xerces looks up at the frightening God of Death, feeling the warmth on his thigh as liquid trickled down onto the carpet of the plane. He couldn't seem to find the words to address the situation, unlike his father, who would have cursed Cain out.

Finally, the child tried to speak. "I...you..."

He put his finger on the child's lips. "Shhhh my little insurance policy. I won't kill you, I need you to get what I want. So just sit back and enjoy the ride."

He was his father's son after all.

Little Xerces raised his foot into the family jewels of Cain, who doubled over with a growl. He then jumped to his feet and ran over to the cockpit door, opening it to find one of his father's men sitting there.

He couldn't believe his eyes, this clone slept through the entire ordeal. The plane's navigation was switched to autopilot, and the man had a half drank bottle of liquor in his hand as he slept.

Xerces ran up to the pilot, Morbid Clone, and tugged on his arm. "Wake the fuck up man! There's a psycho loose on the plane!" but he gasped in shock as the pilot slumped over sideways. He blinked as the man's sinewy intestines spilled out of his abdomen, as the door suddenly shut.

Xerces turned to see the beautiful daughter of Cain standing there, his cheeks turning red and eyes going wide. She stood there in her short skirt and tubetop, black hair pulled back in a ponytail and a flash of steel in her left hand.

A fucking Katana.

That's right folks! Delilah just murdered a Morbid clone samurai style. She smirked and grabbed the boy, Xerces kicking and screaming as she dragged him back into the cabin. The scene fades to black for a moment.

Cain appears on the screen, face stained with blood. Suddenly, his lips curled upwards, and he a statement.

"I've got something you want, Angel. Fortunately for you, you have something I want as well. Just think about it as you watch this video, Angel."

-static-

What the fuck was that? Are we all in the business of kidnapping kids now? Is that what the fuck we're all about? Goddammit. Call the cops. DAN. CALL THE FUCKING COPS.

Ghost Tank - vs - Ginger Snaps Ladder Match Number #1 Contender Shot for Intercontinental Championship

Ginger bounces down to the ring as the song plays. She waves to the fans and blows kisses.



Alysia begins to dance with juggling torches that have been lit. The lights get brighter, then darker, at least for a bit before the light darkens, and a strobe light begins its dance as Ghost Tank slowly makes his way out. Alysia would start to bring the torches closer to her body, lighting parts of herself and clothes on fire. Ghost Tank's voice rings through the arena

"The Pale Rider comes for you. He shall be unleashed!"

The sound of metal scraping against the ground rings through the arena. As the lights begin to brighten, it reveals the source, as he wears shackles around his ankles and wrists, with the chain connecting the two scraping along the ground. As he walks to Alysia, he pulls her to his chained up form, and she spins as she is pulled, causing the flames to spread then dissipate, changing into an elegant dress. After a kiss, he lets her go, yanks his arms apart in a lowercase t, and follows it up with yanking the ankle shackles off. Once down he rushes to the ring, leaping over the top rope, rolling forward and springing up to his feet. He then pounds his chest as he lets out a roar.

As the bell rings, Ghost Tank looks at Ginger and lets out a sad grunt, aware of what is about to come. Ginger returns with a nod of her own, but remains focused. They both lock up, as Ghost Tank overpowers Ginger and pushes her into the corner, but she ducks and slides under Tank’s legs, before hitting a discus back elbow into Tank’s back. He appears enraged, but with less intensity than usual as he turns around and charges at Ginger who catches him by rolling him up with a Boston Crab.

Jim Ross: These opening segments don’t look too good on Ghost Tank, Brain.

Bobby Heenan: Neither does his confidence, the huge hulking ton of mass seems to think he can’t handle the 130lbs Ginger!

After several seconds of locking in the hold, Tank powers out, pushing Ginger off and causing her to rebound against the ropes as he rises to his feet and hits her with a brutal shoulder tackle. Tank walks over and lifts up Ginger with one hand, rising above his head in a one handed gorilla press, but Ginger Snaps squirms out and lands on her feet. Ghost Tank spins around but his hit in the back of the head with an enziguri,as Tank to fall to one knee. Ginger takes a few paces back before hitting him with a Shining Wizard! She goes for the cover…


1…



2…

No! Tank kicks out as Ginger flies off towards the other side of the ring.


Jim Ross: Tank kicks out of that great combination by Ginger Snaps!

Bobby Heenan: Looks like he realized she’s a woman!

Jim Ross: Oh would you stop!

Bobby Heenan: What? It’s scientifically proven their inferior!

Jim Ross: No it’s not.


She charges towards Ghost Tank in an attempt to knock him back down but he lifts her up with a huge back body drop onto the outside, but as she falls manages to wrap herself around the ropes like a spider. Ghost Tank tries hitting her with a big boot but she swings away. Ghost Tank keeps trying to attack her but she dodges each time, much to the cheers of the audience. Annoyed, Ghost Tank slides out the ring and tries to grab her from the outside, but she kicks away and scrambles to her feet back in the inside of the ring and runs the ropes, as Ghost Tank follows, but Ginger is stopped dead in her tracks with a huge spear. Ghost Tank covers…


1…



2…


Ginger manages to kick out, as she spins around the back of Tank, locking in a camel clutch. She keeps this locked in but Ghost Tank, slowly starts rising to his feet, however Ginger keeps the hold locked in. Now being piggybacked in a camel clutch, Ghost Tank lets out a roar as he runs backwards towards the turnbuckles, but Ginger leaps off last minute, sending using GT’s own momentum to slam him into the corner. She follows up on this with a running corner high knee to the jaw of Ghost Tank, who lurches forward. Running the ropes, Ginger hits him again with a Yakuza kick, as he falls down this time. She scrambles on top of himand manages to hook his massive legs for the pin…


1…


2…


No! Ghost Tank kicks out and the force again sends Ginger flying across the ring, she lands on her feet this time however, and charges at Ghost Tank who scoops her up onto his shoulders and brings her down with a vicious body slam. He wipes away at his mouth before bending down and picking her up, squeezing the life out of her with a bear hug. Ginger wriggles one arm free and locks it around his head, reversing with a huge Ginger Snap DDT! She quickly bridges over and locks in the GINGER TAP! Tank grits his teeth and drags himself forward hoping to reach the ropes, struggling to get out of the hold but he then taps as he cannot take any more of the pain, Ginger breaks the hold. She bounces to her feet, and lifts Tank as well. A quick knee to the stomach, and Tank doubles over. Ginger takes the change to scramble out of the ring, and grab a letter. The Scot scurries back into the ring, and sets it up. In a jif she climbs it while Tank watches on the side. She grabs the case, and drops to the mat below, grinning from ear to ear.

Winner and Number 1 contender for the Intercontinental Championship: Ginger Snaps

Tyrone is sitting in his office pressing his thumb against his temple, and rubbing it slowly in a counter clockwise motion. There's a wooden knock on his door, and then a police officer walks into the office to see Tyrone looking irritated. The General Manager rises to his feet to greet the officer.

Please, sit. We'll talk.

The Officer does as he's told. He removes his hat and sits across from Tyrone. Dan, who is fluent in Japanese translates.

Hello, Mister Jackson. I am Officer Okinawa. What can I do for you?

We need to put a warrant out for Cain. The Wrestler. Put one out for him across all countries.

The officer looks confused, and scratches his head. He speaks, but Dan translates it.

Why would we do this?

Tyrone is angry and begins to shout at this point.

HE FUCKING KIDNAPS KIDS! THAT IS FUCKING WHY. WE DO NOT ENDORSE THE KIDNAPPING OF CHILDREN. THAT IS FUCKING WRONG.

The officer looks nervous as Tyrone screams at him.

We'll see what we can do.

The Officer gets to his feet and leaves. Tyrone looks upset and pours himself a drink as Warfare fades out.

SUCK THAT DICK PETER!

(pay me my 10k Xbux!)

Suck my dick! and im not paying ;)

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

YOU MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCKER!

I'LL BEAT YOU A SECOND TIME FOR TRIPLE THE FUCKING MONEY

YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN JEW KIKE BASTARD FACE HOLE!

...and by second time I mean 8th time but second time for money.

Suck my dick!

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Good show, liked Cain vs Fern a lot.

Gilly, you owe me 10k.

Suck my dick!

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Gilly you owe me $1 for sucking your own cock. Also, great show BTW.

(01-15-2016, 02:34 PM)♆♍ᵹŗᶀìȡ 卐 Ąᾗᶃḝᶋ ♆ Said: ...and by second time I mean 8th time but second time for money.

"My loss to Fernando notwithstanding, I will have what I want. I will have you in that ring, and have the opportunity once and for all to prove that I am XWF's biggest demon. I'd gladly give your child back...if you put your Intercontinental Title on the line at Snow Job against me in..."

He smirks.

"Three stages of Hell."

The awesome banner was brought to you by Morbid Fuckin Angel.

(01-15-2016, 12:24 PM)Tyrone Jackson Said: Well, Alexis Riot is spunky, and . Fuck, next week is going to be interesting.

Well.... that's one of the nicer things people have said about me.

Fernando, I hope a part of you enjoyed that feeling of falling, because you will experience that feeling again this Wednesday, and this time...

You're not getting back up.

Love me? Good. Hate me? Better

Accomplishments:
1 Time X-Treme Champion
Snow Job Gauntlet Winner

(01-15-2016, 05:17 PM)Cain Said:

(01-15-2016, 02:34 PM)♆♍ᵹŗᶀìȡ 卐 Ąᾗᶃḝᶋ ♆ Said: ...and by second time I mean 8th time but second time for money.

"My loss to Fernando notwithstanding, I will have what I want. I will have you in that ring, and have the opportunity once and for all to prove that I am XWF's biggest demon. I'd gladly give your child back...if you put your Intercontinental Title on the line at Snow Job against me in..."

He smirks.

"Three stages of Hell."

"Please, explain to anyone why you deserve an Intercontinental title shot. So far, the Intercontinental title prestige has remained mostly unharmed, with relative good people holding the belt. You, on the other hand? Who haven't you lost to? Fern? Loss. Ginger? Loss. Maybe rack up some wins, and maybe, MAYBE if we're in a good enough mood, we'll green-light you getting an Intercontinental title shot. For now? Get in the back of the line."

"Christ, ce qui un fagot."

(01-15-2016, 05:28 PM)Alexis Riot Said:

(01-15-2016, 12:24 PM)Tyrone Jackson Said: Well, Alexis Riot is spunky, and . Fuck, next week is going to be interesting.

Well.... that's one of the nicer things people have said about me.

Fernando, I hope a part of you enjoyed that feeling of falling, because you will experience that feeling again this Wednesday, and this time...

You're not getting back up.

This chica right here actin' like she gonna come at dat Austin boy on some hardcore Life Alert shit but in reality we know she's gonna get #rekt #shrekt #murkt

But don't worry, Alexis. I wouldn't dream of screwing you out of your big moment. Because I'll actually be doing it!