It took a while for the ring crew to repair the massive holes in both rings, and remove all the hooks and spikes from the cage, but we're finally set for the next match! Shane
sits at ringside on his throne of bone with a shitty smile on his face.
Jim Ross: I don't like the look on Shane's face. One has to wonder what kind of plans he has to ruin this match the same way he ruined the end of the last match.
Bobby Heenan: What are you talking about, Ross? Shane didn't ruin the ending of anything. He allowed the match to end fairly.
Jim Ross: Yeah but what happened immediately after?
Bobby Heenan: No comment.
"Mr. FN Dominance" Trax
Goddess Sitre Renenet
Steve Davids
Austin Fernando
Scully
Roman M. Wulfrun
- vs -
Eli James IV
Elisha
Surprise Entrant
Lancelot Smith
Mr. Kaleidoscope
6 on 5, 1 fall
Double ring surrounded by a cage
HINT: This cage is hooked up to electrical lines and has the potential to be activated, causing the entire cage itself to be electrified during some of the match if the right steps are taken! |
Trax and the rest of his team stand in one of the two rings, looking across the set of ropes as Eli James IV, Elisha, and Lancelot Smith look around, wondering where the other two members of their team are.
Suddenly...
Frodo Smackins emerges from the crowd!
Frodo hops over the barricade before rushing over to the cage door and demanding to be let in.
Jim Ross: Could this be our surprise entrant?
Bobby Heenan: Not really a surprise to anyone who was paying attention to the promos. Frodo made it pretty clear he was on this team, Ross.
Team Eli collectively shrugs, while Team Trax expresses their disgust with the Big Dig Playa. Once the door's open, Frodo climbs into the ring and flips off Austin Fernando, who scoffs and shakes his head.
The refs go to close the door again, but then something happens...
Something really big.
Monumentally big.
The biggest thing that could ever happen to any team!!!!!
Bobby Heenan: I got a feeling something big is about to happen, Ross. What could it be?
Jim Ross: God only knows. This has been one of the strangest nights so far. People cheering Shane and his band of thugs... Morbid Angel chopping off the dick of his own teammate who then still competed for his team with blood rushing out of his open wound... Dim and his Teflon Bull Cock almost putting an end to Abigail... What could possibly be next?
Retaliation by CFO$ hits the speakers and THE FANS GO ABSOLUTELY BAT SHIT INSANE!
Jim Ross: Oh my goodness... Don't tell me...
Bobby Heenan: It's him! It's him! HE'S HERE!
It's Justice Drake! He rushes down the ramp and around to the door, before sliding in under the bottom rope.
Jim Ross: Looks like the odds just got evened a little bit, and these fans are loving it!
Bobby Heenan: Team Eli's still down one man, but if there's anyone who can make up for those odds, it's Justice Drake!
Jim Ross: Somehow I doubt that, Brain.
Bobby Heenan: Don't you hear these fans? This is Drake's night!
The members of Team Trax have gone from annoyed to bored. Sitre taps her wrist and glares at the timekeeper who finally rings the bell.
Both teams rush for each other!
Pandemonium ensues!
Austin and Trax go after Eli, the former putting Eli in a chickenwing while the latter peppers him with shots to the face and the stomach.
Jim Ross: Not often we see the very first move in a match be a chickenwing, but it's working.
Sitre flies off the ropes and nails Justice Drake with a flying forearm, landing on top of him and continuing to wail on his face until Elisha clocks her with a running knee to the temple.
Lancelot Smith and Scully trade blows.
Frodo somersaults under a lariat from Roman, before sweeping his feet out from under him. However, Steve Davids drops an elbow across Frodo's throat before he can get back up. Davids transitions into a side headlock, delivering a series of punches to Frodo's forehead.
Eli powers out of Fernando's hold, spinning around and hitting the Superior One with an elbow to the jaw before shoving him away. Trax runs into him and pushes him into the cage, which rattles upon impact. He then rolls Eli up, but the big man kicks out before the ref can even get into position. He gets back to his feet and headbutts Trax, before scooping him up and slamming him down, making sure the proud black man's ankle lands on the middle rope. Trax grabs his leg and rolls over onto his stomach, and Eli lays in a couple of stomps before making his way over to the escalating fistfight between Lancelot and Scully.
But before he can, Austin Fernando JACKS him with a suckerpunch in the form of a dropkick! Eli stumbles to the side and falls to his knees, sliding into the ropes which he uses to pull himself up. He looks at Austin, cracks his knuckles, and smiles. Austin mimics his motions, sneering at him before motioning for him to bring it.
Eli looks over his shoulder and raises one finger. Austin's stands, confused, for only a second but that second was all Eli needed.
Frodo leaps onto Eli's shoulders and uses him as a launching pad, leaping off and nailing Fernando with a flying headbutt! Both men fall to the mat, looking worse for wear after that move and Eli dusts his hands off and walks away, looking for another opponent.
Meanwhile, Lancelot and Scully are still exchanging blows. Lancelot looks to be gaining the upper hand but then Sitre runs in, from out of nowhere, leaps onto the top rope and springboards off, landing seated on Lancelot's shoulders, and delivers a huge inverted frankensteiner! Scully jumps up and down clapping, copping a look at dat ass as Sitre walks away, before stomping on Lancelot's fallen body. He rolls the man over onto his back and grabs his legs, before launching him into the cage, which causes the structure to rattle once again.
Elisha cuts Sitre off at the pass, launching his body at hers with a body block sort of maneuver before falling atop her and throwing a series of open hand blows that look to be more like he's mauling her than hitting her. He lowers his head and opens his mouth, before biting Sitre's forehead. She writhes and flails, before jamming her fingers into his eyes and kneeing him in the groin. Elisha whimpers and rolls off. Sitre pushes herself up to her feet and looks down at him with a look of disgust, before spitting on his squirming body. She brings one hand to where he bit, and wipes a bit of blood on his stomach before walking over to the cage door.
Jim Ross: Oh what the hell is this now?
Bobby Heenan: I think Sitre feels she's done her part, Ross. And Shane seems to agree!
Shane
stands by the door, shouting at a ringside official to open it. Not everything he says can be heard, but what is heard involves threats of firing, bodily harm, fecal assault, and the death of said official's family. Sighing, frustrated at having to open the damn door so many times during one match, the official concedes and opens the thing. Sitre steps out of the cage and follows Shane back to his throne and takes a seat on his lap, content to watch the rest of the match unfold.
Jim Ross: What in God's name is she doing? She has a match to compete in!
Bobby Heenan: She's making Shane
the luckiest man here!
Jim Ross: Wait a minute, Brain. I just realized this means the teams are even now!
Bobby Heenan: And I just realized that once again, Sitre isn't grinding her ass on my crotch. Goddammit.
Jim Ross: Oh good lord, Brain. Stay on track here.
Elisha's back to his feet and engaging with fisticuffs with Roman.
Trax and Lancelot are mixing it up now.
Davids has Frodo set up on the top rope. He goes for it.
SUPER GAME OVER (Praying Mantis Bomb)!
He smiles and pins the fallen dwarf.
...1
...2
ELI WITH THE BREAK UP!
Davids gets back to his feet and hits Eli with a forearm, which Eli returns. The two trade blows for a few seconds before Scully kicks Eli in the back of the knee, dropping the big man to one knee. Davids laughs and muscles him up, and Scully ascends the top rope.
POWERBOMB!
A Powerbomb delivered with such force that the mat is actually dented! Scully flies off the top rope... UNTOUCHABLE (Corkscrew Shooting Star Press)!
He hooks the leg!
But wait....
The lights in the arena go out suddenly!
Jim Ross: Oh what now?
When they return, sitting on the corner of the cage is Doctor Louis D'Ville!
Bobby Heenan: DOC'S BACK!!
Jim Ross: What the hell does he want?!
D'Ville looks down from the corner and laughs at all of the competitors from both teams. He locates Steve Davids and points him out when the lights go out again!!
Bobby Heenan: Not again!
The lights come back on and Steve Davids is standing on the opposite corner trying to balance himself! He reaches down and grabs the cage to keep from falling as D'Ville runs across after him!
Jim Ross: Uh oh!
D'Ville spears Davids off of the cage and the two spiral into the portal below the ring! The action actually stops for a few seconds and members from both teams remain still as they watch the two of them disappear into the portal! Shane
stands up from his throne and laughs at what he just witnessed!
Bobby Heenan: Where did they go?!
Jim Ross: I'm not sure, Brain, but I doubt it's very good considering the parties involved. Either way, with Davids gone and Goddess sitting over there on Shane's lap, this just turned the numbers game in the favor of Eli's team!
Bobby Heenan: Amazing how things can change so suddenly.
Back inside the cage, Scully's still lying on the ground where he had Eli pinned, but Eli's gone off to the opposite corner of the double ring and is working over Roman in the corner alongside Elisha. He whips Elisha into the corner and the maniac collides with Roman, before biting him on the nose and thrashing his head about, almost like he wants to rip it off! Eli puts a hand on the beast's shoulder and gently pushes him back, before pushing Roman up onto the second rope and, grabbing his head tightly, backing up slowly, before dropping the rich bastard face first onto the mat with a big DDT!
Lancelot grinds Trax's face against the cage, before smashing the Universal champion's head into the unforgiving steel with a wind up elbow! While Trax is dazed, Lancelot backs up and prepares. The Joust! The huge big boot damn near glues Trax's head to the chain link. Trax falls to his knees, scraping his face against the cage more, before landing on his back. Lancelot looks down to admire his handiwork, but he doesn't get much time before Austin Fernando wraps his arms around Lancelot's waist and delivers a German suplex. He keeps it bridged for a pin, but it gets broken up by Justice Drake and the fans pop!
Justice then pulls Fernando up to his feet, before whipping him into the ropes and popping him up on the rebound.
JUSTICE IN THE SKY!
The pop-up superkick lands flush!
Lancelot is on all fours, trying to get back to his feet. Roman, who's made his way back to his feet, sees this and charges, hopping onto Lancelot's back and leaping off, smashing Justice with a flying knee! Both men fall to the mat, but Eli catches Roman! He deadlifts Roman up onto his shoulders, and runs.
POWERBOMB INTO THE CAGE!
THE WALL GIVES!
ELI JAMES IV HAS JUST PUT ROMAN THROUGH THE CAGE!
Electricity is flowing through the cage now, somehow. Roman is zapped as he rolls off the chain link.
Bobby Heenan: This match just got a whole lot more electrifying!
Eli throws his arms out wide, looking like a fat Jesus Christ. He throws his head back and laughs, before turning around and getting a smack to the face from none other than Austin fucking Fernando.
Stare down.
Eli shoves Austin.
Austin shoves Eli.
The crowd is completely silent, ready to explode when the brawl officially ensues.
Austin brushes his shoulders off, and holds up
one
finger.
Eli looks around, wondering what angle one of Austin's teammates would be coming from.
Austin, knowing that would happen, reveals his trump card: a kick to the jewels.
The crowd erupts, half with boos and half with cheers for the dastardly move as Austin starts working Eli over with punches.
Elisha leaps onto Austin's back and starts biting his face. Austin spins in circles frantically, trying to free himself but it isn't until Scully delivers a backstabber to Elisha, and Austin by association, that the beast's grip loosens. Eli's back up to his feet, but not for long as Trax connects with the Trap Silencer and knocks Eli back to the ground.
Frodo pops up out of nowhere and nails Trax with a Shayouken! He then ascends the turnbuckles.
Austin starts to stir, as Lancelot prepares in the corner.
THE JOUST!
NO! AUSTIN SIDESTEPS!
He spins Lancelot around...
END OF THE ROAD!
Austin flattens Lancelot with the Suplex Cutter to a chorus of boos.
Jim Ross: These fans really wanted to see that joust!
Austin throws his arms out wide and shouts "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"
Frodo leaps off the turnbuckles and blasts the yelling Austin with a lolnope (flying superman punch), but then runs into Scully, who whips him into the cage! Frodo's body spasms as God-knows-how-many volts of electricity are pumped through his body, before collapsing.
Roman finally makes it back into the ring after his untimely exit. He goes to work on the still recovering Lancelot Smith before getting pulled off by Justice Drake. The two men double team Roman, forcing him into the corner.
Elisha and Scully are battling.
Trax helps Fernando back to his feet and the two stare down Eli, who shrugs.
Frodo's struggling to get back to his feet.
Bobby Heenan: Sitre update: still hot as fuck.
Jim Ross: Get your eyes back on the action.
Bobby Heenan: That's exactly where they are, Ross.
Austin turns around and walks to Frodo, pulling the dwarf up, before putting him right back onto his knees with two vicious kicks. He delivers a third kick, this time to Frodo's chest, then another to the same spot. He takes a couple of steps back, before charging forward with a huge kick to the jaw that snaps Frodo's head back. The Fatal Finale! He snarls, before dropping to one knee and delivering a huge series of punches to Frodo's face. After he's finished, he whips his head back and moans in euphoria before pushing himself to his feet and looking at Eli, who's winning his battle with Trax.
He mouths "too easy" before taking off and performing a vicious football (soccer) tackle that takes Eli off his feet!
Meanwhile, Scully lifts Elisha up and drops him throat first onto the ropes. Elisha clutches his throat and falls to the mat.
The fans all start turning their heads and looking at somebody...
Bobby Heenan: Wait a minute! Pest! It's Pest!
Jim Ross: What the hell does that sick bastard want?
The Pest walks to the cage where Scully is fighting. He smiles proudly at the
, before pulling something out from his jacket. It's a Compact Crossbow. He pulls out a wooden bolt, and places it in the bow, and pulls it back. Before he can fire, the Pest sets it ablaze, and takes aim. He releases the shot, and it hits the cage. The Pest then loads a steel bolt into the bow, before pulling back, and taking aim once more. He releases, and the bolt flies into the leg of Scully.
Bobby Heenan: Bulls eye!
Pest: Michael, my sweet Michael. That was from my son. I hope you understand.
Pest turns around and leaves as calmly as he had arrived.
Trax spins Justice Drake around and nails him with a Trap Silencer, before teaming up with Roman to put the hurting on Lancelot, likely in retaliation for trying to crush his head earlier.
Austin waits for Eli to get back to his feet.
Once he does, they stare each other down once more.
They both look around the area, observing all the carnage.
Then they start exchanging!
Eli connects with the left.
Austin hits a right.
They brawl back and forth, neither man giving any ground as they just batter each other!
Frodo stirs and gets back to his feet, rushing in to even the odds in the two-on-one beatdown of Lancelot Smith.
Austin and Eli go back and forth and back and forth with punishing blows. Austin's right eye is swelling and Eli has a busted lip. Neither man looks too concerned however.
Headbutt by Eli!
He lifts Austin up, he's going for another powerbomb!
Austin delivers punches to the crown of Eli's head before pushing himself off and landing feet first on the ground. He knees Eli in the stomach, END OF THE ROAD!
NO! ELI SHOVES HIM OFF!
Baptism (Bossman Slam)!
He tries to cinch in that Arm-triangle choke but Austin takes a page out of Elisha's operating manual and bites him on the cheek!
Eli punches Austin in the throat, getting him to let go before backing away, wiping some of the blood off his cheek.
Suddenly Trax pulls Eli up and around... Trap Silencer!
And another!
Jim Ross: By gawd Eli James just took two Trap Silencers!
Bobby Heenan: And he still doesn't look finished!
Jim Ross: Yeah but neither does Trax!
Trax waits as Eli slowly pushes himself back up from one knee... TRAP SILENCER # 3! Eli goes down hard!
Trax turns his attention to check on Austin and then suddenly...
THE LIGHTS GO OUT!
Bobby Heenan: Oh come on! This is getting ridiculous.
Jim Ross: Look up at the X-Tron! What's that?
Out of the clear blue, footage begins to play from the last episode of Wednesday Warfare when Austin Fernando had confronted Shane
and Loverboy Vinnie Lane...
Quote:Fernando stands with his arms crossed, yet fails to spot the exchange happening between Shane and Lane, the former slipping a brick into the hands of Vinnie.
JIM ROSS:LOOK OUT!
CRACK!
Lane, with a running start, crushes the brick straight into the forehead of Austin Fernando, who crumbles to the mat and hits it with a hollow thud. The crowd, who were once cheering, suddenly begin to rain down on the two men left standing, who look at each other and exchange a nod and a chuckle. Austin lays spread eagle on the canvas, limbs sprawled out in varying directions, his eyes fluttering as he floats in and out of consciousness. Shane looks over his limp body and gives off a devilish smile.
The X-Tron goes black and the lights in the arena stay off for a few more seconds until...
Jim Ross: Behind you, Austin! Dammit!
The moment the lights are back on, Vinnie Lane has entered the ring and...
CRACK!
Lane cracks that SAME brick right in the side of Austin Fernando's head!
Trax rushes toward him but never sees Sitre Renenet exploding toward him... BOMA YE! Trax is sent halfway across the ring from that knee strike his own partner nailed him with!
The cage door is still open and here comes Kid Money! Shane is waving in the rest of the CCWF members... Hired Gun and Abigail rush into the cage. The fans are roaring, loving what they're seeing as the entire CCWF stands on one side of the double-ring and...
Bobby Heenan: Wait a minute. What's this that's happening right before our eyes?
Jim Ross: The battle lines are being drawn!
The members of Eli and Trax's teams are slowly grouping together, standing together as they appear to form a very uneasy alliance. Austin Fernando is still laid out right in front of them all as Eli and Trax are finally standing to their feet as well, very slowly. They eyeball each other and then look across into the other ring where the CCWF members are lined up in full force.
Justice Drake out of nowhere lets out a war cry and charges the CCWF!
...and instantly gets kicked in the groin by the Hired Gun, followed by a Rock Bottom!
Jim Ross: Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom!
Bobby Heenan: Drake is done!
Lancelot Smith gets a sudden burst of courage and rushes toward them. Eli yells at him to wait but he ignores the command, continuing toward his targets but is caught with a double superkick from Abigail and Sitre! Lancelot falls right into the arms of a waiting Kid Money.
Shane: Bring him to the portal! It's time to send him back home!
Shane laughs as Kid Money drags Lancelot out of the cage door but then Shane gets a better idea...
Shane: On second thought... THE OIL!
The pit of boiling, black oil on the other side of the cage has been hungry for victims and so far gotten no attention. Kid Money drags Lancelot over to the edge and locks him in a Million Dollar Dream, swinging Lancelot back and forth violently and then on one of the swings in the direction of the oil, he releases and sends Lancelot's body descending into the oil! There's a huge splash as some of the oil gets the fans in the front row, giving them severe burns.
Jim Ross: No! This isn't right! That's a human being!
Bobby Heenan: Not anymore, Ross. Now it's a giant french fry.
Jim Ross: How could you make jokes at a time like this?
It's down to Trax, Scully and Roman standing not too far from Eli, Elisha and Frodo.
Across from them are Lane, Abigail, Hired Gun, Sitre Renenet and Kid Money.
Austin Fernando is still down and out, next to that brick Lane used to knock him out.
Vinnie Lane sends the four CCWF members forward and hangs back as they go head to head with the six remaining members of Eli and Trax's teams. It starts to look like the numbers game is catching up to the CCWF as their members start to go down.
This gives Trax just enough time to check on his fallen partner, Austin Fernando. He starts smacking him lightly on the cheek and shaking him, trying to wake him.
Shane: Hey Trax! Why don't you try waking him up with that brick? Go on, it's right there...
Trax gives Shane a big middle finger but Shane persists...
Shane: No really... I HIGHLY suggest you pick that brick up right now. You're going to need it to defend yourself against what's about to come through this portal!
The portal next to Shane is flashing as Trax stares at it for a few seconds.
Trax looks down at the brick...
He picks it up...
And instantly, Trax's expression completely changes. He mouths "oh hell no" to himself as the camera zooms in on his hand SQUEEZING that brick into a ball?!?!?!?!?
Jim Ross: What the...
Bobby Heenan: It's a sponge, JR!
Trax turns back to Austin Fernando but it's already too late!
THE REVELATION! Austin nearly takes Trax's head off with that perfectly timed slingblade!
The fans are roaring!
Austin rips Trax up from the canvas at the speed of light and... END OF THE ROAD!
Jim Ross: You have to be kidding me! Austin Fernando with his devastating suplex cutter to his own captain!
Bobby Heenan: He's not done yet, Ross...
Austin yanks Trax up yet again as the CCWF members are retaliating against Eli and the others. Austin unleashes a five kick combination, first connecting with both of Trax's knees! Trax drops down to his knees and instantly receives two kicks to the chest and finally Austin steps back and rushes up to Trax with a violent kick to his jaw from underneat! Blood and what looks like possibly a tooth fills the air as Trax's head snaps back and he flops down to the canvas in a heap.
Vinnie Lane tosses something to Austin...
The crowd starts to roar even louder...
Austin unballs the shirt...
He puts it on! These fans are losing their shit!
Fans: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Jim Ross: No! No! No Austin, no! That's a god damn CCWF shirt!
Bobby Heenan: I love it!
Austin proceeds to take out his own partner Roman with an Identity Crisis (Irish curse backbreaker into neckbreaker) and his partner Scully with a Know Your Place spinout powerbomb!
Abigail and Sitre are double teaming Eli James with a series of kicks and strikes, nailing him in his sides, face and throat while Kid Money has Frodo in a Million Dollar Dream and Hired Gun is rapidly punching Elisha in the groin as fast as humanly possible.
Vinnie Lane takes the CCWF/IWGP Universal Championship and winds up as Austin peels Justice Drake from the canvas and holds him...
CRRRRRRRACK!!! Justice is busted open by the shot from the title as the fans go wild. Austin looks down at the fallen Trax and spits on him before dropping down to cover Justice Drake.
The fans all count along with the ref...
...ONE!!!!!
...TWO!!!!
...THREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Bobby Heenan: He did it! Austin came through and won it for his team! What a guy! He overcame the odds!
Jim Ross: What the... my god you're delusional, you know that? Austin just spat in the face of everyone here and sold his soul to the devil himself!
The CCWF members begin exiting the cage but not before Vinnie Lane looks back over at the fallen Trax. He shrugs, saying "fuck it" and rushes over to Trax, pulling him right up into a Black Label Driver! The fans love it!
Fans: CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF! CCWF!
Shane looks happier than a pig in shit as he watches his CCWF roster members make their way to the back to a thunderous ovation.
Shane looks at the camera and says one last thing before we go to intermission...
Shane: You haven't seen anything YET.
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