"I don't think I have to explain myself to you or anyone, to be honest." Her voice was as snarky as ever while she walked along the boulevard with her phone pressed to her ear and her hair blowing in the wind, not allowing her stride to be broken even for a split second by the passers by who recognize her, or the bum who tries asking her for spare change. Ignoring all around her, she continues with her call: "You're my agent; it doesn't concern you what I do with Vinnie Lane during my free time. You've already texted me about this more times than I can count and I've already told you in person that it's none of your damn business. Is there some reason you can't get it through your thick skull?"
Of course it comes as no surprise that Sitre Renenet's agent - a man who hits on her every chance he gets but is turned down 100% of the time - would have a jealousy issue with things happening between Sitre and Vinnie Lane. After all, her agent does have long flowing blonde hair and is considered a heartthrob himself by many of the ladies he encounters; how could he come to terms with the fact that another man with a much more feminine and a somewhat unkempt appearance gets the booty when "Mr. Peeps" himself still never has been able to, even after all these years of working as Sitre's agent? "Look," she commanded in a sharp tone. "I've been putting up with this sort of thing from you for far too long now; if you can't stay professional and understand that I never have, never will, and never could have an interest in someone like you, we're going to have to go our separate ways. Trust me I won't have a hard time finding another agent. And what's this I hear about Trax trying to get a hold of me but being unable to? Have you been forgetting to pass messages along to me again while you're wanking your noodle to my pictures?"
Her head lowers as her free hand is thrown out to her side in shock as what she's hearing. "What do you mean, who? Trax! Mr. so-called Dominance! You know; the guy who drafted me to his War Games team? The guy who had to cheat and steal the Universal Championship from Vinnie Lane last week? Hello? Ring any bells? I hear he's been trying to get a hold of me, and that tells me you're not doing your job. How am I supposed to gain a false sense of trust from him if I can't even have a private conversation with him to stroke his easily exploitable ego and assure him I_, wait, what?" … "No! Not that kind of stroking. Get your mind out of the gutter already. You need to get on the ball and start doing your job or I'm seriously going to drop you like a cheap Chanel knockoff. Am I clear?"
As she swiftly rounds a corner and starts down the avenue, a peaking of her eyebrows and rolling of her eyes tells us her agent is most likely eating his words and reverting back to "Mr. Apologies" to try and assure her that he was just having a bad day, or perhaps that he was a little too tipsy from his afternoon shots at the bar just downstairs from his office. Sure, she'd heard it all before but it's better to hear him fumbling with his words in this manner than it is to have him questioning the decisions she makes in her personal life. Her extended silence suggests he's going on for quite some time, really putting a lot of effort into whatever he's saying.
"Right, ok…" starting to sound a tad exasperated, she checks her TAG Heuer and sees that she's already two minutes late for her appointment at the salon which she is now standing in front of, trying to wrap up this conversation before she enters. "So as long as we're clear on that." … "Yeah, uh huh." … "Sure, yeah, I'll call you back after my appointment." … "Kay, byyyye!" Already pulling the door open with a huff as she's stuffing her phone into her purse, she instantaneously transitions to all smiles as she enters. "Hiiii, Carmella. Is Rico ready for me? Sorry I'm late…" Scene fade.
Facetime w/ The Goddess
~Bubbly smile~ "Greetings, loyal fans of the CCWF!" ~enter sarcasm~ "And fans of the XWF."
"I'm sure some of you have been wondering why I've been rather silent this past week, just like I'm sure some of the smarter fans - aka the CCWF fans - have already figured out why I have been making myself scarce. Well, let's go over a few of the more obvious reasons for those of us who need hand-holding on the way to common sense and easily deduced logic."
"First of all, this War Games pay per view really doesn't affect the CCWF all that much when you consider it's just a bunch of the same old XWF rejects with a few CCWF elite sprinkled in randomly among the overwhelming trash. Whether my team wins or loses this Sunday is inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, so why should I care?" ~up close to the camera, whispering~ "Hint hint: I don't really care all that much at all, except I don't mind the free pay check."
"Second of all, even if I did care about this match, has anybody taken the time to look at what these teams look like? More specifically what the team captained by the supposedly great Eli James looks like? Let me give you a clue just in case you've been busy this week: Failure; that's what Eli James' team looks like. Surprised?" ~feigned gasp, hand over mouth and wide eyes~ "Oh puh-lease. If you're surprised that a team spearheaded by Eli James is nothing more than a lost, sunken treasure chest that has had its contents replaced with the bones of extinct creatures, you're a simple fool and a," ~taking a red sucker out of its wrapper and giving it a slow lick~ "Exactly. How's it taste? Mine tastes like cherry but for all of you who bought into that expired hype for some legend who never mattered to begin with, you're probably trying to wash your mouths out with soap right about now and rightfully so. How ironic that the most interesting and unique member of Eli's team is a newcomer by the name of Lancelot…" ~scratching head, confused face~ "Um, okay I admit I forgot his last name already and it's quite possible I'm getting his first name wrong, but there's this new guy on Eli's team who had a promo on the air for all to see within the first day or so after the matches were announced. The guy is supposed to be some kind of relic from the distant past - possibly an actual time traveler from what I hear, right?" ~an amused roll of the eyes~ "Well isn't that appropriate though?"
"Think about that for a second."
"Eli James and Elisha; back from… wherever, and they're accompanied by a guy who apparently was swinging swords around in Camelot long before any of us or our parents were even around to care. You know what's funny, though?" ~still giving that red sucker a few licks between thoughts~ "There actually is some kind of competition in this match after all! Yes, kiddies! Eli, Elisha and Lancelot get to compete to figure out which among them are:"
"A) The least remembered by people who dwell in the year 2015."
"B) The least cared about by fans of the CCWF and even the XWF - that's right, I bet even most of the XWF fans are smart enough to save their interests for competitors of a higher caliber and stronger relevance."
"C) The most in need of a good hairdresser and manicurist."
~another lick of that sucker, and a yawn to follow~ "Yeeeeah, so I'm going to just go ahead and say right here that nobody on Eli James' team matters. Aren't there some other members of his team too? Who were they again?"
"Yeah, I don't care either. Touche."
"Moving on with my list of reasons why I haven't been making myself heard much this week:"
"Even if the CCWF did have a vested interest in which team wins and which team loses, and even if Eli James had managed to assemble some sort of threat, the truth of the matter is my teammates already have this covered. Yeah, I'm saying it; they can do all the heavy lifting and I'll just tag along for the ride and the free win. Thanks, guys. You're all swell!" ~vivacious smile~ "I mean, after Trax went ahead and managed to give our team the numbers advantage with whatever strange trade deals he made with people, this team is pretty much stacked. While it's true that most XWF roster members are of low quality when it comes to performing, a good portion of this team are the slightly better underachievers of the XWF. I mean yeah, we're weighed down by the likes of Roman Wulfrun and Scully."
"And Steve Davids."
"The guy who I hit with a botched move a couple days ago in an attempt for his X-treme Championshp - and it still knocked him down. Sure, he kicked out of the pin but, damn, I slipped as I was jumping up to deliver that flying knee and it only struck him in the shoulder. How did that knock him down long enough for a pin to happen at all?" ~all the shrugs~
"But alas we do have Trax and Austin Fernando on board to do all the work and it's a pretty safe - albeit sad - bet that Trax and Fernando alone could dismantle the entirety of Eli James' team. I mean unless I missed something, even Eli's surprise mystery partner has opted to abandon the team… and why wouldn't he or she? If I had a chance to enter a big wrestling event as a surprise entrant but then I saw myself stuck on a team of people who haven't mattered since… ever… I'd just pretend like I never signed on either. I mean whoever that mystery person is can get away clean as a whistle and never be known as a no-show because their name wasn't even revealed."
"Smart move, Surprise Entry!" ~big double thumbs up~ "You're the only member of Eli's team who has my vote of confidence."
"But yeah. Like I was saying, even guys as bad as Scully, Wulfrun and Davids can't possibly hold this team down, so why should I bother doing a thing? I plan to do as little as humanly possible during this match as I just laugh at the poor display Eli's team puts on for us all. Maybe I won't even bother entering the cage and I'll just keep Shane company at ringside on his bone throne. Or maybe I'll take a stroll to the back and help Loverboy warm up for his match, which unsurprisingly, is against a team that's proving to be just as worthless as Eli's team. Vinnie obviously knows he's not going to get that blood pumping during the main event so maybe I can help him out and get him to break a sweat, just so long as he remembers I don't do the back door." ~wink~
"So, in closing, I just wanted to thank my team in advance for the pay check I'll be receiving and I wanted to remind Eli James that," ~another lick of that red sucker~ "Eahhh, whatever, screw it." ~camera off~
company at ringside on his bone throne. Or maybe I'll take a stroll to the back and help Loverboy warm up for his match, which unsurprisingly, is against a team that's proving to be just as worthless as Eli's team. Vinnie obviously knows he's not going to get that blood pumping during the main event so maybe I can help him out and get him to break a sweat, just so long as he remembers I don't do the back door." ~wink~
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