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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Anarchy Special" RP Board
My dick
Author Message
Dick of Peter Gilmour Offline
Banned



XWF FanBase:
Nobody

(can't get crowd reactions; awkward; probably going to be fired soon) 


#1
08-23-2015, 09:17 PM


All right, mother fucker. Where the fuck are you? You want to opt in for other matches, you want to run your cocksucker, but you won't suck me?! You want answer my calls, or questions? What the hell, man. I didn't think I was fighting an actual vagina in my debut. That'd be pretty impressive. For me. I'm a beast at beating up the pussy. I'd say you could ask Jessica, Rose, Maria, or any of the other "women" Peter's paraded around in front of you, but those are actually men, and it'd be hard to take their word for how good I am at destroying pussy. I know, ask Calix.

You know, the pretty boy that couldn't back up his talk when faced with a real penis. If you missed how that went, I took his title. I pinned the bastard, and became the Federweight. Congrats, Peter now has the right to say he's had his dick on a title. Something Kaleidoscope will never be able to say. And by the way, I looked up what a Kaleidoscope is. You know what I found out? NOTHING. BECAUSE I'M A PENIS!! I can't fucking read. But, I can sure as fuck whip your ass. Imagine, how hard your life is going to be when you get asked by literally everyone you meet about the time you lost to a penis.

You're going to go visit nana Kaleidoscope, and she'll look you right in the eyes and say, "Didn't you lose to a penis? You're not welcome in my house, bub. Get out." Then you'll leave, even though it's Christmas, and you forgot your coat inside, and the snow falls, and lands gently on your nipples, and you wonder if you're going to die of Freezer Burn, or something. I'd imply that'd be embarrassing as well, but it'll be worse when Tracy, your male live in maid, who sometimes touches your balls, but he's not your boyfriend because you're really not gay. Three knuckles don't count, mom stop listening. Anyway, it'll be worse when Tracy leaves you. He'll take a job in the city, and sometimes promise to come down and see you on weekends or something. But, we both know that's a lie. He's cleaning Richard Dreyfuss's apartment and touching his balls now. Not yours.

You'll try and get him back, calling him at all hours of the night. It will affect your job here, and your life with your new live in male maid, Esteban, who also sometimes touches your balls, but not in the way Tracy did. That's not fair to keep asking if I'm gay, mom. So what if I lost to a penis, and so what if I have an addiction to men's swimming competitions, and I have had three male live in maids in the last year, but it doesn't mean anything! Jesus. Stop being homophobic.

Oh, sorry, I was getting really into character while analyzing how badly your life is going to suck after Monday night. You know, when you have to admit that you're not nearly as good as the severed penis of the billion time Xtreme Champion who can't tell the difference between his father providing the jizz to make him, and his father giving birth to him. That's Peter, by the way. You queer. You panty waist. Or, I guess I should say Panty Waste. Because you're a total waste. Haha! Dicks can be funny while they're proving to be above you. In every way you can imagine. Hell, last week I partied with Vinnie Lane's microcock. And you know what it told me? It told me that you tried to sniff him while Vinnie was getting ready one day.

Said you're a creepy ball sniffer. You a creepy ball sniffer, Kaleidoscope? I don't know why I'm asking, the word lie is literally in your name. So, we know it's what you're going to do. If you even answer. Do you know who doesn't call back, or answer questions or anything? Teenage girls. Are you a teenage girl at heart? Is that it. Do you want to go to Hot Topic, get some jeans, or something? Is that how I can get you to talk to me? Let you use my credit card? Well, to be honest, I'm a penis, I don't have a credit card. Banks don't usually issue credit to phalluses. It's not a fair world we live in, but alas, it is what it is. You wanna cry about that? Fine, cry to Rupert Murdoch. Tell him to stop calling me asking if I'll get HillDog's cock to do an interview with him. Dude's obsessed. Apparently a talking dick ain't something he's used to. Even though he's a friend of Bill O'Reilly.

I know it's hard for you to imagine the idea of fighting an actual penis in the ring, despite you being a walking vagina, but let me make it simple for you. You won't, I have handlers. The handlers will carry me, make me jab you, make me slap you. All of it. Well, only one really. I have three handlers, but today I'm going with Chuck. Chuck wears black, and likes to dance to Mickey Avalon when we win. Which we will. It's just how the world works. Now, get the fuck out of here, you miserable stank sock. I've got shit to do.


Da Gilly Will bounces three times, and then Chuck comes out in all black, and carries him away, on a velvet pillow. Be jealous, Kaleidoscope. Be jealous.

[Image: PEMtNlN.jpg]
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