Jamaican Jimmy be walkin' around backstage irie as FUCK, when he see dis little white dick sittin' in a fuckin' chair like it's motherfuckin' people or some shit.

What the fuck? Big J done sold me the shit with the PCP again!

I just mindin' me own and now I got some personified member starin' at me with a belt around 'is waist? What in the name of JAH be goin' on around 'ere?

Bruddah, you ain't no dick of no Peter Gilmour, we know he ain't gone one o' dem anymore, ever since that fat Nazi fella dun took it off of him and wore it 'round his thyroid-swollen neck. De only thing dat be explainin' you right 'ere right now is that ol' Jimmy is seein' some bullshit like straight out of De Serpent an' de Rainbow, mon. Fuckin' bumboclats like you is what be ruinin' the pro wrasslin' business, and what be scarin' the kids away from de 'ealin' properties of miss Mary Jane!

So listen 'ere, mon. Dat belt you got is goin' home wit' me right now. You is too white to representing the Ghekre Federweight Title anyway, it need a mon who's got the deep mahogany blood of the islands runnin' t'rough his veins! You got one squinty eye all blocked up dat yellow snot like pimple dat just been popped, and you be de only dick 'round dese parts with no motherfuckin' balls swingin' below it. Look at my balls! Look at my big fuckin' balls! I'll put these right on your skinny little dick chin so you know what it feels like to 'ave the testicles of a winner.

Smell dat? Dat's me funk you be inhalin' right now, mon. Your chance at retainin' dat title be right between me dick and me asshole, because TAINT GONNA HAPPEN. You be likin' dem big fuckin' balls up on your glans, don't ya? Got your vas deferens all up in a bunch. Paint a couple o' nipples on them balls and pretend you finally got to be titty fuckin' someone other than your own mama, you fuck boy . Haunted dicks be stupid as fuck.

You gonna cum?




Jamaican Jimmy be makin' dat pin with his big ol' nuts.





1!




2!



BUH!

Kick out. LeStrange pulls out a baggie of his Blonde Nigerian Hash. He packs a mighty bowl, lights it, hits it, and blows a cloud in Jamaican's face, sending him to Jahoviah.

Oops wrong one sorry.

So, lemme get this shit straight. I just need to focus up on it. You're telling me that you're a massive ? Is that what I'm hearing? I mean, I can't think of another reason that your lily white ass would even come close to caring about whether or not a penis belongs to the person the penis is claiming to belong to. What is this shit? PSI? Penis Scene Investigators. Do you keep a list of XWF wrestlers and what their dicks look like? Is that why your name is blank on your list? You want to have one so bad you obsess over everyone else's.

News Flash, dipshit. I'm the severed penis of Peter. The one Morbid removed. Everyone knows this. Hey, it's ok to be wrong about me. I mean, I did take the title from Calix when he was sure he'd won. You want to be just like that failed demi-god, too? I can do that, let you try and keep this from me, and me still hold it. Ok.But, let's get it out there. You're not a winner. You're some poor doped up queer who can't tell his own pigment coloring. Do you need to smoke the pot for your glaucoma, or are you absolute proof that Marijuana makes you stupid?

I'm betting on the second one, skip. I've actually heard about you before, and talked to my friend, Bill O'Reilly. He's the only other penis walking around like I am, you know. You know what he had to say about you? Well, nothing nice, except that you were the kind of stupid to vote for Donald Trump, if you were able to vote. So, there, I think Bill O'Reilly likes you. That's one person. In 7 Billion. Maybe that's reason enough for you to not go ahead drop that curling iron, toaster, microwave, and blow dryer in the bathtub tonight. Maybe.

Not likely, you sackless Caitlin Jenner impersonator. And get your dried up raisenets off of me. Those are baby raisins you left in the sun, and not actual testicles, right? You're not possibly so ill endowed that your scrotum fell off, leaving with you just two nearly microscopic berries hanging there, right? Or, are you really proud to use those to claim manhood? I can't tell at this point. We'll hope you're so high you thought they were nuts, forgetting you lost yours years ago. There, face saved. I'm helping! Much more than the birth control did for you mom.

Now, let me ask you this, why would you put your nuts, or rather what you assumed were nuts, on another man's penis? That's just not making sense. Get the fuck out of here you molester. Go molest Duke or something. SUPER DICK AWAY! Queer.

Supah Dick shoots a stream of his rotten yellow death ejaculate out of his head, blasts Jamaican Jenny off himself, and flies to the moon. Where he's free to live away from the gender and racially confused things of the world, like Jamaican Queermo.

Winner and STILL Federweight champion: Dick of Peter Gilmour!

General Ballzinyoface: you eye-ballin' me son?