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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 2
The more things change...
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Drew Archyle Offline
Apex's Weakest Link duh



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#1
07-31-2015, 07:55 PM

The day has arrived. Relentless is finally here. An event that debuted last year has now become the federation's biggest yearly event. Only this year the XWF is taking it to a whole new level. Each day of Relentless will take place in a different city. Today it's Los Angeles, tomorrow Chicago and Sunday it's the Big Apple, New York City. Day One is highlighted by not just the Intercontinental Title match but also the Hart Title match. The crowning of a new Hart Champion. The first Hart Champion since "the incident". The fans are still filing into their seats after grabbing the required refreshments and merch. As the seats continue to fill "Enemy" by Sevendust blasts out over the speakers.

About 30 seconds into the song and with all the fans fixated on the entrance The Manager waddles his way out followed by Drew Archyle. Arychle is wearing his typical black t-shirt with gray DA logo on it. (Coming soon to the official XWF Xbux shop.) And The Manager as always is wearing a suit and tie. The two walk down to the ring, Archyle slapping hands with some fans on the way. He even stops for a second to kiss a baby like he were the Pope or something. The two men casually get into the ring with The Manager reaching out to accept a microphone that is being given to him by the ring announcer.

Hello fans of the XWF Universe and welcome to Relentless. Are you all excited for tonight's card?"

The fans react with overwhelming applause which The Manager soaks in for a few seconds before he begins to speak again.

"Excellent. Most excellent. Unfortunately you will not have the luxury of watching my client compete in front of all of you. You should have had that opportunity. By all rights Drew Archyle should be your reigning and defending Hart Champion but XWF Management robbed you of that opportunity. So instead you will have to settle for some bottom of the barrel talent. I'm sorry about that. I am sorry that you all won't get the chance to see Drew in action. Fortunately though your loss is Chicago's gain. How fitting that my client's first Pay Per View match will occur in front of his hometown fans? The hour is drawing nigh for Steve Davids and LJ Havok. I hope you are ready.

Now Mr. Davids I saw one of your recent promos and the things you had to say about me. First I want to thank you. I want to thank you for taking the time to address and talk down to someone who is not even part of the match. Every single second you spent talking about me is a second wasted. So thank you Steve Davids. Thank you for wasting your time on the mundane. Now before I get into responding to what I can only assume you considered to be a good promo I need to tell you that..."


Archyle yanks the microphone out of The Manager's hand and starts talking.

"Steve Davids let me ask you something. Does it make you feel good to talk down to a man who stands at a pubic hair above 4 feet tall? Does it make you feel big and strong? Does it make you feel special to talk shit to a manager? You think because he addresses you that you should in turn address him? Let me ask you something Steve, when your former Heyman Alliance member Brock Lesnar has matches do people talk about what Paul Heyman said? Or do they talk about Brock Lesnar? You might not know the answer to this because you've been napping in a coffin for a while but the answer is no. People, people who know what they are doing, they spend their time addressing their opponents, if they decide to address anyone at all. But not Steve Davids and apparently not LJ Havok either. But I'll get to that hack in a minute. For the moment let's focus on you Steve, the self anointed, self important "Psycho Sensation".

Steve I really enjoyed the little catch me up session of your first promo. It was a lot of fun watching you relieve your greatest failure. I don't know about you but me, if I was facing the best friend of a guy who I just screwed out of a title I probably would have tried a little harder to protect myself from what was inevitably coming my way. Especially since you had an entire fucking stable of guys like Brock Lesnar and Tommy Gunn to fall back on. But you didn't do that and as a result your time as the Universal Champion was as forgettable as every promo you've ever cut.

Speaking of cut, before your new friend Ambrose cut you out of that casket did you try lifting the lid? I saw in your promo you were swinging your arms around like a wild man trying to break through the sides but did it ever occur to you to just liftt up the lid? I didn't see any of the guys that put you into the coffin actually nail it shut. You know what else I found humerous? That instead of focusing your efforts on the area that was already compromised, the area with the hole in it, instead you decided to try and break through the wood elsewhere. Come on Steve, casket escaping 101 says always try to open the lid first and when that fails attack the weakest area. Really that last part can be applied to everything in life. Attack the weakness. Your weakness? Thinking that because you sniffed the air at the top of the mountain that you are anything other than cannon fodder for the real talent. You know, people like me.

My manager said from the onset that in this match LJ Havok was the forgotten man and to further expound on that point you actually spent time in your promo taking a giant sized shit all over your own partner. My Manager was kind enough to call LJ Havok a legend. Yes, we can all agree that he was being nice. That he was overstating things a little bit. Maybe he wanted to build LJ's confidence up so that his inevitable failure would be that much better. Or maybe he just had a momentary lapse in memory. Either way the simple fact that you took time to verbally destroy your own partner tells me all I need to know about the kind of opponents you guys are going to be. Are Mr. Glitter and I best friends? No. I can't even say we are friends but for the moment we are a team and as my partner I will do what I need to to ensure victory. You know what I won't do? Call my own partner out. Who are you? Vinnie Lane?

Now Steve as for your proclivities for BBW's, well all I can really say there is that someone has to be the one to put it to them. If your only excuse is that you don't want to really try well that tells me a lot about you. And please, don't tell us about your sexploits. If I wanted that I'd have my manager set up a match against Peter Gilmour. Get me? I have to say Steve I was really looking forward to knocking off a legend at my first Pay Per View and rest assured I am still going to do that but as my partner Glisten pointed out at the beginning of the week, this has all been one big disappointment for me. I expected more from you Steve.

Unfortunately I didn't have those same expectations for your partner and for good reason. As much as he sucks in the ring he is even worse on the mic. Fortunately for him the XWF is about wrestling, not talking. Unfortunately for him I am infinitely better at both of those things than he is. One of them he will experience tomorrow night, the other I will give him a taste of now since he seems unimpressed with what I've had to say so far.

LJ man I gotta ask, why do you care if I have a cameraman following me around? You do. Everyone in the fed does. I guess I could wear one of those stupid helmet cams and shot all my stuff that way, all Blair Witch style but who the hell wants to see that? The answer is no one. So yes I have a cameraman follow me around, regardless of whether I look trustworthy or not. And what does that even mean? "He doesn't look trustworthy?" Do I have the word "untrustworthy" written on my forehead? Is it my hair or my smile? Do those frighten you or something? Seriously, how does someone look untrustworthy? I get someone looking stupid or unkempt or ugly but untrustworthy? Come on now. You are trying so hard to make me look stupid and in the end you look like the dumbest guy here. And this is a federation that has an actual Self Proclaimed Champion. That guy wears his mental inefficiencies as a badge of honor and he looks a hundred times smarter than you do. Bravo.

Unfortunately your bout with stupidity doesn't end there. In your most recent promo you said I had a big mouth and that I like to run my mouth a lot yet in one of your earlier promos you came at me for having my manager speak for me. Even going so far as to suggest that I was afraid to speak for myself. So which one is it LJ? Which one offends you more? Is it that from time to time I let my manager do some of the talking, you know, so he can earn his paycheck or is it that when I cut promos I rip people to pieces?

I gotta say though, I really appreciate your attempts at revisionist history but no LJ you did not beat Luca Arzegotti to win the European title as you claim. Your friends in the Extreme Revolution beat down Luca, allowing you to score a pinfall but the match was restarted and it was Luca who scored the final pinfall, the only one that matters, the ONLY one history recognizes. That's why your name isn't listed as a former European Champion LJ. So your European Title Reign much like your entire career as a wrestler in the XWF is forgettable at best.

Before I leave you to your thoughts of old ghosts I do want to say one last thing to you LJ and that is this. I'm really happy that you miss the days of people being able to back up what they say with their actions in the ring. In fact, I am so happy about it that I am going to give you exactly what you crave so much. No, not a dick in the ear pervboy. I'm going to back up each and every single thing I said this week. When the final bell sounds LJ it won't be me or Mr. Sparkles, hell it won't even be your partner taking the pin. It will be you and ole Drew Archyle the guy with the overdone badass schtick, he'll be the one pinning you.

Count on it."


Drew drops the microphone and immediately rolls out of the ring not even waiting for his manager to follow him out. By the time The Manager does finally exit the ring Archyle is halfway up the ramp as the crowd delivers it's mixed reaction.


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Former:

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w/ Robert "The Omega" Main and and James Raven "Apex" Longest reigning tag team champions in XWF history at 241 days.
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February 2018 Superstar Of The Month
March 2019 RPOTM For Captain Americhyle - The First Apexvenger
Winning Team War Games 2017 w/Apex
XWF Federweight Champion
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