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Shove It Saturday Night
Saturday, March 6th
Live from The United Center
Chicago, IL

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Ann Thraxx - vs - Knightmask - vs - Kate Astrofey Triple Threat, 1 Fall X-treme Rules (anything goes/falls anywhere) Plus... The contract signing between XWF Owner Shane and General Manager Arkin Blackwater for ULTIMATE WEDNESDAY WARFARE!

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Ann Thraxx
- vs -
Knightmask
- vs -
Kate Astrofey
Triple Threat, 1 Fall
X-treme Rules (anything goes/falls anywhere)

The lights go dim as Kick Axe's 'Nothin's Gonna Stand in Our Way' blares over the speakers. Knight mask emerges from the back and begins his journey to the ring. As the music plays, Knightmask crouches low upon the entrance ramp, crosses himself, looks to the sky and then bursts into a headlong sprint for the ring. Once in the ring Knightmask strikes a pose and awaits his opponents' arrival.

Sangura & Dead's Malaria burts over the loud speakers as the dementedly gorgeous Ann Thraxx slowly emerges with a sweet yet sadistic grin plaster upon her face. Ann heads down to the ring laughing and screaming evily. Once Thraxx gets to the ring she slowly climbs in as she stares Knightmask up and down, not out of seduction but out of pure lust for his destruction.

Dark Tranquility by Monochromatic Stains begins to play indicating our 3rd and final participant Kate Astrofey is about to come out. A series of dark scrawled images done by Kate's own hands in blood and black ink appear in succession to the beat of Monochromatic Stains on the X-Tron. Kate appears in the recesses of the entry way thrashing her head and arms. As she appears more fully on the entry ramp her thrashing fits continue to the point of almost looking like a standing epileptic seizure. She motions to the crowd who seems puzzled by her behavior. Then she motions with her arms for the crowd to get on their feet. A few overzealous fans may heckle her and her response is always a deafening high pitched scream in their faces. Upon arriving in the ring she takes to the top turnbuckle with her arms raised in a V shape. She accepts the cheers with the boos, on her face is the tired look of indifference.

Kate Astrofey, Knightmask and Ann Thraxx stand awaiting this match to begin as the bell sounds. Kate Astrofey immediately dives for Ann Thraxx, taking her down to the mat as Knightmask stands, just watching what's unfolding. Kate Astrofey grabs Ann Thraxx by the head and begins to smash Ann's head repeatedly down onto the mat. Ann lets out a scream of fury as she surges up and Headbutt's Kate. Kate falls back and looks up to see Knightmask clapping in a mocking fashion. It appears he enjoyed the two women going at it. Astrofey annoyed at Knightmask's display, jumps to her feet and takes off towards him, hitting Knightmask with a Diving Clothesline. Knightmask drops to the mat as Kate continues towards the ropes, climbs them and then gets Knightmask with an Elbow Drop.

Just then Ann Thraxx comes from behind Kate, grabs Kate and Hip Tosses Kate across the ring! Astrofey hits the ropes and bounces back as Ann runs towards Kate. Ann gets Kate with an Enziguri! Kate hits the mat and Thraxx goes to work stomping on Kate while Kate is down! Thraxx then gets a deevilishly large grin as she hops from the ring. Ann begins to fish around under the ring for weapons and her grin gets even wider when her hand lands on something it appears she liked. Thraxx pulls her hands out revealing a baseball bat covered in razor wire! Oh shit! Who does she plan on using that on? Ann slides in the ring just as Kate is climbing to her feet. Thraxx dives towards Astrofey but gets blindsided by Knightmask who hits Ann Thraxx with a Flying Armbar! Ann stumbles back as Knightmask grabs the razor wire covered bat from Ann and tosses it to the side. Knighmask shakes his head and delivers a Short Arm Clothesline to Thraxx.

From the side here comes Kate Astrofey with a Missile Dropkick to Knightmask's head! Knightmask drops to a knee and Kate then hits Knightmask with a Hurricanrana! From there Kate gets to her feet and grabs the discarded razor wire covered bat. Ann Thraxx on her feet charges towards Kate but Kate turns to Ann just in time and strikes Thraxx with the bat! Ouch! Thraxx is sliced open by the razor wire covered bat instantly!

Kate goes for another swing!

The second swing never connects because Knightmask is up and hitting Kate with a Spear! Kate goes down!

Thraxx takes this opportunity to climb from the ring and produce a steel chair from under the ring. Blood spills from the wound Ann received from the razor wire covered bat but she barely pays mind to it. Like she doesn't care she's bleeding ALL OVER THE PLACE! Ann slides back into the ring with a trail of blood following and flies into action, hitting Knightmask over the head with the steel chair!

Once!

Twice!

Three times!

Knightmask drops and Ann Thraxx towers over him ready to hit Knightmask a third time with the chair. When here comes Kate! Back up to her feet and diving at Ann! Kate Astrofey catches Ann Thraxx with a Scoop Slam followed by a DDT! Kate goes to cover for the pin but the pin is immediately broken up by Knightmask! Knightmask wearily back to his feet gets Kate with a Leg Drop that breaks up the three count before it begins!

Knightmask and Kate climb to their feet at once but Kate is already flying at Knightmask, hitting Knightmask with a Superkick followed by a Russian Legsweep! Knightmask tumbles to the canvas and Astrofey goes for the ropes but is interrupted by Ann Thraxx who is back to her feet! Ann hits Kate with punch to the face! Kate stumbles back as Knightmask grabs Kate's leg and pulls her to the mat! Kate drops as Knightmask pulls himself up with the ropes. Ann Thraxx in this time has gotten hold of the steel chair. She climbs the ropes and dives not caring who she hits! Damn that bitch is reckless! Ann Thraxx connects with.....

No One!

She somehow missed the ball there and lands in the ring directly between Knightmask and Kate Astrofey. Knightmask climbs the ropes in the attempt to hit a high flying move on Ann. However Kate moves in, rising to her feet, ripping Ann from the mat and hits Ann Thraxx with a Bloodlust (Inverted double under hook facebuster). Kate covers for the pin!

...1









Knightmask rushes from the ropes...
























...2


















Will he break up the pin?


























...THREE!!!!!

Nope! Knightmask was too slow! Kate Astrofey takes the win by the skin of her teeth in her XWF debut!!!!!

Winner: Kate Astrofey

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Now that the match for tonight has concluded, the fans get set for whatever else is in store for the evening...



The lights dim in The United Center as The Black Circle theme shakes the speakers. The spotlights light up the aisle extra bright as a a float is towed down to the ring. The man towing the float is John Madison's slave John Black. He's wearing his ring gear and is pulling the float with a rope tied around his neck. They're really putting that slave to good use, aren't they?


On the float is a golden throne which has velvet material on the seat pad and backrest. The man occupying that throne is the owner of the XWF: Shane .




Sebastian Duke, NAZI, and Luca Arzegotti are also present on the float as they wave to the fans.


Once the float reaches ringside, it comes to a stop. The music dies down as Shane stands up from his throne to speak.


"Peasants of the XWF, your king has arrived! Why the long faces? You should be happy to see us. Let's hear it for the champions: Sebastian Duke and Luca Arzegotti!"


At that moment, Luca Arzegotti and Sebastian Duke hold their title belts above their heads.


"And of course, none of this would have been possible without our Gauntlet King. Let's bring him out!"




"Last" plays as we direct our attention to the stage...


John comes out and...


HOLY SHIT! He comes out driving a fire red Mustang with Ann Thraxx tied down spread eagle to the hood of it! She's laying on the hood of the Mustang helplessly in a sexy black two-piece. She's screaming and cursing out John Madison in all sorts of ways. I can only imagine what John Madison has put this woman through!


John Madison, who looks like he just came from a party, stumbles out of the car with a bottle in hand. He salutes his comrades who are at ringside.


John Madison: "HEIIIIL!"


The music cuts off as John Madison stumbles around the car.


"That's a nice ride he's got there... Hey John, why don't you come down here and tell us how you feel about winning the Gauntlet. Come on down here, buddy!"


NAZI: "First, get that disgusting hood ornament off of my Mustang!"


John Madison is poking around in the Mustang like he's looking for something.


Duke: "Luca, go see if John needs help."


Wait... Oh my God! He just put the car in neutral and he's pushing it across the stage with Ann Traxx bound to the top of it!


"John, what are you doing? Why is there a woman tied down on the hood of your car?"


John Madison continues to push the car as Ann Thraxx squirms around on the hood, trying to free herself from her restraints.


Duke: "JOHN! NO! WAIT!"









Sebastian Duke runs up the stage to stop John Madison. Thank God someone in The Black Circle is a decent human being.










John Madison: "What the fuck do you want, Duke?"









Duke finally makes it to the car to confront John Madison. He looks like he's going to talk John out of this...








But instead he places his hands on the other end of the trunk!







Duke: "I've always wanted to push one of these off the edge of something. On three..."


1



2





3!-- Duke and Madison both take the Mustang and SHOVE IT off of the fifteen foot high stage with Ann Thraxx tied down on the hood of it! Holy shit, the car flipped and smacked into the cement floor, crushing Ann Thraxx. We need a medical team and the jaws of life out here!


"John! How could you! That Mustang was my present to you."


John Madison: "I want a Hummer, Shane. I want a Hummer with my name painted across the side of it."


"Okay... Psss-- Luca, write that down."


John Madison: "I won Gauntlet City just like I said I would. I've silenced this federation because they can't stand the fact that John Madison came out on top yet again.


Neonero-- what happened? I thought the 'new' John Madison couldn't win it? 'GG NO RE LOL'


Unknown Soldier-- what happened? Did I really beat you again? You can have those Trio Titles, I'm not all that interested anymore. And if Johnny isn't interested, then none of it matters. You know it's true.


Mister Mystery-- what happened? Why did you let me win the crown? I was expecting so much from you, but you gave me nothing.


Mark Flynn-- what happened? How could you just sit back and watch me do it again? How could you let Sebastian Duke beat the hell out of you?


Ron Wilkins-- what happened? I was tired and you still couldn't beat me.


Ursula Areano-- what happened? I was practically dead out there yet I still covered you and won.


The fact of the matter is, I could take down this entire federation at 2% if I wanted to. I'm in a federation that's full of Ursulas!


Why do you people let me do this?


Look who's wearing the crown!"


Our view switches to Shane who adjusts the crown and smiles for the camera.


John Madison: "I told you I would win it again, just like how I won War Games last year. I'm the only guy who wins at Pay-Per-Views around here. I win the big one when it matters while the rest of you struggle to reach stardom. First I was your team captain, and now I'm your king. Hahaha!"


The fans boo as John Madison revels in all his glory and continues laughing for a while.

Shane sends John Black away with the float and tells the others he has some business to take care of himself...


...


...


...Shane enters the ring and once the others have left the area and paramedics have gotten Ann Thraxx to the back, Shane begins to speak...

: And now the time we've all been waiting for. In just a few short days I will be making my debut inside of the octagon!

The fans let out a mixed reaction comprised of mostly boos, middle fingers, and swearing.

: But before that can happen there needs to be an official contract signing! I'd like to invite my Co-GM, Mr. Blackwater, out here to break bread with me.

Shane claps his hands in the air two times very quickly.

: John Black! Please bring out the break and cookies...

The fans turn to see John Black coming down the ramp, pushing a cart with some freshly baked bread and some delicious looking cookies. He gets to ringside and lines the cart next to the ring.

: Don't stop there... bring the cart into the ring.

John Black scratches his head and looks at the cart. It's a standard sized cart like what they'd bring your food on if you were in a fancy hotel... and there's literally no way to get it inside of the ring. Shane taps his foot and crosses his arms as he grows impatient with John Black.

: Well? I'm not getting any younger here...

John Black: But sir... there's no way for to bring the cart up in to you. It doesn't fly.

: What???

John starts to talk again but Shane yells louder..

: WHAT???!!!???

John Black tries to talk, but this time the fans interrupt him.

Crowd: WHAT?!?!?!?!?

John Black: That's it! I've had enough!

John Black takes a loaf of freshly baked Italian bread and throws it into the ring at Shane! Shane ducks and the bread flies way over his head and somebody in the front row behind Shane catches it. The person begins to eat it.

: How dare you give away my food! That's for Blackwater and I to enjoy while we sign the contract!

John Black yells something that doesn't quite sound like a word and he storms up the ramp toward the back. How are Shane and Arkin Blackwater going to get this contract signed?

Blackwater: You know Shane, It's pretty despicable how you and your Black Circle buddies treat that man.

It's CO-GM Blackwater! He makes his way down toward the ring with a mic in hand.

Blackwater: Not to mention I wouldn't trust you enough to break bread with you. I'd probably take a bite of a piece of bread and find a shard of glass embedded into my gums after, so you can forget about your bread and cookies...

He pauses and looks at the cart.

Blackwater: Plus... are you serious? No milk? No beverage of any kind? You're really losing your touch, Shane. This is one of the reasons the Administrator Network brought me along; you're just not cutting it anymore.

Shane looks incensed as he paces in the ring like a caged lion... his eye locked onto Blackwater like a tracking beam.

: Oh enough with your psychotic babble and get into this ring so we can sign this contract. You've got a date with my fists this Wednesday and I don't want you trying to get out of it.

Shane pulls the contract out of his shirt pocket. It's folded many times over and also rather wrinkled. It also has some stains on it that might be coffee stains or something else...

CO-GM Blackwater slowly walks up the steps and gets into the ring.

Blackwater: That's the contract? It looks like a piece of used toilet paper.

He pauses. He remembers who he's dealing with.

Blackwater: Oh, for the love of God... please tell me that's not a piece of used toilet paper.

Shane rolls his eyes... or, 'eye' rather. He rolls his eye.

: No you idiot, it's John Black's tampon. Would you just shut up with that crap and sign the thing already? If you're not going to have any bread or cookies then we've got no reason to be wasting time here.

Shane holds the wrinkled, stained piece of paper out toward Blackwater who uses only the very tips of his index finger and thumb to take the piece of paper. He takes a pen from his own shirt pocket, not trusting the "feather quill" that Shane has mysteriously produced.

Blackwater: There's not even a clipboard or anything to sign on? You have a cart full of bread and cookies ringside but something as simple and basic as a clipboard to SIGN the contract on, is missing... that's just spectacular.

: Stop stalling and sign it.

Arkin Blackwater reads over the fine print of the contract and then kneels down, placing it on the canvas and signing it. Shane watches closely and as soon as Blackwater finishes writing his name...

BAM! Shane kicks him in the nose with his penny loafer! Except in the spot where a penny would be, there was a razor blade sticking out! How did Blackwater not see that before? Blackwater falls to his back holding his now bleeding nose as Shane grins and slowly kneels down to sign the contract himself with his feather quill.

: That's for not trusting me... maybe next time you'll accept my generous offer of bread and cookies.

Shane holds the signed contract in the air as CO-GM Blackwater exits the ring quickly and medical personnel immediately checks on the gash he has on his nose.

: Let this be a prelude of what's to come on Wednesday! I'd like to take this time to thank my dear, wonderful CO-GM for coming out here and signing this contract with me. I'd ask him to take a fighting stance with me so you could call snap some photos but he'd probably think it's a trap! So instead I'll just pose by myself, the same way it will be Wednesday night after I KO him.

Shane puts his feather quill between his teeth and makes two fists, holding them up and getting in the fight stance while a few people take pictures but most of them simply boo him and throw garbage at him.

When Arkin Blackwater is backstage, John Black comes up to him.

John Black: Hey, thanks for those kind words outside. Can I help your bleeding nose?

John tries to put a tampon up against Blackwater's nose but there's already blood dried on it and it stinks to high heaven!

Blackwater: My god, man!

Blackwater slaps it away just a split second before it would have been pressed into his open gash and he quickly walks away from John Black, shaking his head and looking back at him like he's a complete lunatic.

John Black: Oh this just isn't my day. That is it; I'm going to take this out on Luca!

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The Scene opens to a parking lot of the Arena; we see a someone dressed in all black and holding a Baseball Bat in that person's hands. We're not supposed to know who this is.

He walks up to The Black Circle's own X-Terme Champ Luca's Fancy Black Lamborghini that he bought. Then this person starts to take a swing at windows of the car all the way up to the mirrors until it was in ruins...



Then this person has some few words to say to the camera.

???: Poor Luca and his car; it's a shame that a person would do such a fucked up thing. That car probably costed more then my pay check in XWF, i am not sorry for what i just did; though i am sorry for raising Luca's Car insurance and the showing how i can do bad things to bad people.

The Camera pans towards the smashed lambo in the Parking lot; then this person grabs the camera to focus on HIM but we still don't know it's John Black.

???: Dear All You Black Circle members, see what I've just done to Luca's Fucking Car? You guys better be glad i did his car in, THEN getting my hands dirty with Luca himself. You guys are in Warning , especially Madison and ; you'll all realize that i am getting sick of the backstage politics that runs within the Circle itself and I'm tired or pulling floats around and wheeling bread around. Be warned, Egomaniacs!

Then the camera cuts into static as Shove It Saturday Night comes to an end.